2026 writing retreat

I'm back in northern Japan at another five-day writing retreat, a pretty similar event to what I organised in May last year. We have ten writers, including myself, four of us were here in May last year, but six weren't. It's exciting to have new people coming along. Last year it was pretty "in-house"—just OMF-related people. This time we've got attendees from a variety of organisations and locations in Japan, though everyone except me are from north America (Canada or US).

It's again such a joy to be able to facilitate such a gathering. We're in a beautiful location in Aomori Prefecture, about 20 minutes drive south of Aomori City. Two months ago we came back to Tokyo from Australia and I haven't been out of the city in that time, it's so delightful to get away.

I've shared with various people about coming to this and they have been curious and asked clarifying questions. It is not a "workshop" where lots of stuff gets formally taught. It's not a conference where we have many meetings. Nor is it a place where everyone has come to work on a single project. It is simply an event organised for people to get away from their usual day-to-day lives to do writing. The schedule includes significant amounts of time to work on things that are on their hearts or that they need to. Some people here are working on newsletters or sermons. Some are working on writing stories, or on book projects. Others aren't sure why they are here except that they feel compelled to write and are able to take some time away to see what they can achieve.

One of the keys to this event is that we're doing it together with others. According to my records, this is the eighth time I've organised a writing retreat in Japan. Each time I've come away feeling more encouraged and excited about writing than before I went. Writing is largely a solitary activity, but thinking that you can grow as a writer without engaging with other people is dangerous. Getting together with others who are also writers can be very stimulating and helpful. 

This event therefore includes times of solitary writing as well as sharing and helping each other. But don't be fooled by the word "retreat". Yes, it's time away from our regular responsibilities, but it is by no means a holiday. We're working here! Publishing these days is easier than it's ever been: I'm going to his "Publish" on this blog post when I'm finished it. But getting full books published, or even short stories published, is much more complicated than it used to be. So while writing can be a joy, it also can be like wrestling an elephant up a hill, it also can be like guiding an elephant through a wilderness where there is no map, but many possible paths. (For anyone who is interested, a colleague shared this helpful website about publishing paths with me.)

So, in addition to silent writing times, we're talking with each other, sharing stories and challenges. We're asking each other for advice, for clarity; asking others for a different perspective on the forest of words that we have created and are too close to to have any clear vision.

I've just spent some time with a friend mulling over a very short (true) story that she felt compelled to write, but wasn't sure why. In some ways I feel similarly about these curious "writers retreat gigs" that God has me organising. I don't know why, but somehow I'm able to do it and I just have to trust that these events are helpful to the people who come along on the journey.

He is not unable to sympathise when we grieve

This year I've been working on a big goal that I wrote about here in May last year when I was at the writer's retreat I organised, and then again in my first blog post this year. 

I took a big break in the middle of the year, but much of the rest of the year I've been trying to set aside some time on Friday mornings to think about and write chapters of a book that I'd like to see published. We'll see if publishing ends up happening, but I've discovered that if I literally write "Writing" on my calendar for a Friday morning and avoid having other meetings or outings that morning, I can usually settle down to write fairly well. However, if I don't do any of that, then I usually don't get anything done.

This morning I ended up with a 9 am meeting and I have not been able to settle to any book writing after that! But maybe I can write a blog post instead?

I'm in my 50s and have been living in Japan for about half my life! Life has changed greatly over that time, but there are still themes that keep coming back again and again. One of them is grief and loss. It's something I've written about many times here because it's something that keeps coming up. Everyone who has lived on this earth for more than a few years deals with loss and grief, but the cross-cultural life we live has a tendency to bring more of it into our daily lives than many people deal with.

I'm thinking about it at this time because a friend and colleague who has become very close in the last few years is leaving Japan permanently in February. It's a long, sad goodbye. Yesterday we had lunch together over a video call (we live on opposite sides of Tokyo), and finished with prayer for each other, and tears.

This is a reminder to me
of the time five years ago
when we had a picnic with
my friend and her family
on my birthday and she
baked me a cake :D

After our call finished I couldn't settle to my regular work. I don't know if it's true for others, but it's pretty normal that straight after a video call I can't just jump back into whatever is next on my list—especially if it is editing or a creative task like writing, and if the meeting or conversation was emotional, it's even harder. Yesterday I struggled to figure out what I could do to get myself back into the place where I could get things on my to do list done.

So, instead of ignoring the elephant in the room, I pondered grief. I looked at some of the things that I'd written about it in the past. I remembered talking to a psychologist about the grief I have accumulated over the years as I've said goodbye to many, many friends and colleagues. She mentioned the verse in Isaiah 53 that says Jesus was "acquainted with grief". So I looked that up.

I usually use the NIV version and it doesn't use those words, its translation is that Jesus "was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain" (Isa. 53:3 NIV).

"Familar with pain" is the phrase they've used for "acquainted with grief".

ESV, RSV, and KJV use "a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief".

NLT "a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief".

But what does "acquainted with grief" actually mean? "Acquainted" means to have personal knowledge of experience. It's stunning to think on this. Jesus knows about grief personally. 

He knew about grief before he came to earth as a man, actually, so I shouldn't be so surprised. The Old Testament tells us that God was grieved so many times by his people. One story of a conversation between Moses and God in Exodus 32 tells us how angry God was about Israel's disobedience when they made for themselves a golden calf and worshipped that instead of God.

The Lord said, “I have seen how stubborn and rebellious these people are. Now leave me alone so my fierce anger can blaze against them, and I will destroy them. Then I will make you, Moses, into a great nation.” But Moses tried to pacify the Lord his God. “O Lord!” he said. “Why are you so angry with your own people whom you brought from the land of Egypt with such great power and such a strong hand? (Ex. 11:9–10 NLT)

But we also see evidence of Jesus's grief in the New Testament. Of course when he wept at Lazarus's tomb and we know he lost John the Baptist to violent death (Matt. 14:13 says when he heard he immediately left in a boat to a remote area to be alone). But also in a larger sense we see his heart when he said "O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones God's messengers! How often I have wanted to gather your children together as a hen protects her chicks beneath her wings, but you wouldn't let me" (Matt. 23:37). Jesus also endured the pain of betrayal in Judas, something that must have been more painful because he knew it was coming?

As I pondered these things, I plucked my copy of Gentle and Lowly: The Heart of Christ for Sinners and Sufferers (by Dane Ortlund) off my bookshelf and scanned through some of the chapter titles and then text. Here are some snippets:

Whatever it means to be human (and to be human without sin), Jesus was, and is. And emotions are an essential part of being human. . . . Jesus experienced the full range of emotions that we do (p. 104).

He ponders Hebrews 4:15: "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin" (ESV). Ortlund says:

The burden of this . . . verse is Jesus Christ's sheer solidarity with his people. . . . it is in "our weaknesses" that Jesus sympathizes with us. . . In our pain, Jesus is pained; in our suffering, he feels the suffering as his own even though it isn't—not that his invincible divinity is threatened, but in the sense that his heart is feelingly drawn into our distress." (p. 46). . . 

If you are in Christ, you have a Friend who, in your sorrow, will never lob down a pep talk from heaven. He cannot bear to hold himself at a distance. Nothing can hold him back. His heart is too bound up with yours (p. 51).

In Chapter 12 Ortlund considers again what it means for Jesus to be a tender friend. I think that was the most comforting thought in all this pondering. That, even when my close friend is no longer close, Jesus never leaves me. That my location is irrelevant in my relationship with him.

Christ's heart for us means that he will be our never-failing friend no matter what friends we do or do not enjoy on earth. He offers us a friendship that gets underneath the pain of our loneliness. While that pain does not go away, its sting is made fully bearable by the far deeper friendship of Jesus (p. 120).

None of this is especially new to me. I remember praying this in 2000, with tears, over my toddler, when we were grieving as we left Australia for the first time:

7 I can never escape from your Spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the grave, you are there.
If I ride the wings of the morning,
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me (Ps 139:7–10).

Nonetheless, we are forgetful beings, or at least I am! It's good to stop when things like this make us stumble, and remember in our hearts the truths we know in our heads.

Amazing true story I got to write

Every now and then I take on a short-term publishing project. Last year one of my colleagues asked if I'd be willing to write up the true story of an amazing provision to our mission in the 1990s. It's an exciting story that many who've been around OMF Japan for a while knew little bits of, but almost no one knew the whole story. I thought—This can't be too hard.

After I accepted the challenge I discovered I was wrong about how easy it would be to write, but it was satisfying to do. I was given portions of the story that had been written by different people and two recordings of one person's recollections of events. It was a complex story with many threads and people—one of which went back to before WW2 in New Zealand. Reconciling all the details was really challenging. My brief was to write it so it fitted on two A4 sheets of paper and could be understood by anyone with no prior knowledge of the story, Japan, or OMF. It was hard to pull together the multiple threads to write a coherent story that was so short.

The story is about how, in the 1990s, OMF Japan ended up owning a tract of land near a major train station in one of the most expensive metropolises in the world at that time. OMF was able to build our national headquarters on it as well as a mission guest home. Both of these buildings are still heavily used each week and are key parts of our ministry in this country.

The goal was to have a copy of this story in each of the guest rooms so that anyone who stays or works there can know of God's amazing provision of this fantastic facility.

This week I uploaded the story to our website and you can read it there: https://omf.org/how-omf-japan-came-to-own-the-land-its-headquarters-are-built-on/

Take a look and see how complex a story it is! But at the same time, how amazing it is! I'm so glad we have been able to get this written down so that it won't be forgotten.

This project gave me a lot of respect for people who write lengthy biographies and histories. Their capacity for research and holding a lot of data in their heads, then writing it all down coherently is amazing!

This last week before HA

 This week is all about getting as much of our regular work finished as far ahead as possible. I've been doing these things this week:

• The final stages of the Summer magazine: answering questions from our designer, checking proofreading of individual articles, and hopefully before next Wednesday we'll be looking at proofreading the whole magazine (the last step before going to print).
• Deciding things about the writer's retreat I'm running in October so that I can get a save-the-date email out this month. (Exciting!)
• Writing two articles for the Autumn issue of the magazine (due end of May).
• Writing and editing OMF Japan social media posts for the coming months.
• Starting to think about the OMF Japan field conference (June 2027): I'm part of the organising work group.
• Doing the admin necessary for the editing stage of the Autumn issue: so editors and fact checkers know what articles they are responsible for and due dates.

I am starting to think about what clothes I'll pack in my suitcase...11 weeks is not a short time, but neither is it a long time. Thankfully most people will only see us a couple of times, so it doesn't matter if I don't have a lot of variation in my suitcase.

I've also been juggling my schedule to try to fit in various things in these last days: drop off my plants at a friend's house, get my hair cut, practise the piano for Sunday, drop our keys off with colleagues, and a couple of last-minute additions of conference working group meetings. And a couple of not essentials, but nice to fit them in because I have time: time for writing another chapter of my book and time to ride to the park. It's actually pretty chill, quite a bit more so than when we've done this in the past with children!

And then I ran out of time to write this because the the "whole-mag proof" landed and I'm deep into proofreading again...

Home assignment prep: help needed

These last couple of weeks have been much more pedestrian than our Spring Break adventure. It's been time to start facing up to the reality that we leave for home assignment in just seven weeks!

This short home assignment is much easier to execute, for that I'm really thankful. Most of the "easy" stuff has been organised:

I need to keep finding ways to share the
gorgeous spring blossoms that surround us :D
This riverside plum tree was visible from
our lounge room a couple of weeks ago.

✓ Get permission from relevant line managers.

✓ Buy plane tickets.

✓ Organise accommodation and transport in Australia.

✓ Set up meeting times.

✓ Organise some holiday time and time with family.

✓ Get people to look after our plants and our apartment while we're gone.

But these tasks remain:

☐ Write talks for the 16+ public speaking engagements we've got organised.

☐ Organise our stories under a cohesive theme that we can present together.

Many of our stories can be used multiple times, but in at least three churches we'll have two opportunities to speak that will potentially include overlaps in people hearing us speak...so a bit of variety is desirable.

I have to admit to feeling a little bit dull about it all. This is the sixth time we've done this and there is little new under the sun that we can say. Our jobs haven't changed significantly. And we're in support ministries, which are hard to talk about. We don't have many (any?) dramatic stories. What on earth are we going to say that isn't going to bore people to tears?

I've come up with a couple of things today. But I'm interested in any ideas from you. What would you like to hear if we were visiting your church or small group?

Fostering gifts

It's starting to look as autumnal 
as it feels in Tokyo.

I am grappling with what it means to call myself a writer. I've been doing that for a few years now and the evidence has mounted up that I am indeed a writer, but can I fully step into the unknown and complete a bigger project of my own? As in, can I write a book?

Twice in the last week I've been challenged on this front. Last Friday I stepped out of my comfort zone and travelled into town to an in-person writers group with other English-speakers. This is only the second meeting of this group, the first meeting I attended online. In-person feels a lot more confronting and was helpful for my motivation. I had to confess that, in the last 15 years, I've written well over 3,000 blog posts. If I've got a worthwhile idea for a book (and I think I do), then somehow I have to harness the discipline that I've used to write all that on this blog to pull something longer together and push through all the way to finish the project. 

Then I stumbled upon this article called "On hoarding wealth and fostering gifts". The author writes, "God has given you talents—things you may be unusually good at. Are you using these for his glory? . . . God has bestowed on you a greater-than-usual enthusiasm for a certain issue or cause. Are you pursuing it enthusiastically?"

Summer cypress are fun bushes that
turn red in the autumn. These ones
are growing out of a crack at the side
of the road.

God has given me talents and enthusiasms. I'm no genius writer, but I have a passion for it and I've nurtured it and worked on it. I am using it for God's glory, but can I pursue it more enthusiastically? Can I be a better steward of my time?

This brings to mind a children's song called "You were bought" by Colin Buchanan (based on 1 Cor 6:19–20 ).

"You were bought at a great price

Jesus' perfect sacrifice

So in your body glorify the Lord...

So there's this couple in their late 50s

They retire to a beautiful house by the beach

They have a beautiful boat,

They play golf and tennis and they collect shells."

You can see the whole video here.

Look up or you'll miss it!

The story in the song about shells is a true story that comes from a John Piper story in his book "Don't waste your life".

The climax of the song is when they meet Jesus at judgment. 

They say, "Look Lord, see my shells." 

The song continues: "Shells schmells. It's what you do for God that counts. Don't waste your life."

It's worth pondering. So this week I've decided to make some changes to how I'm using my time, changes that I hope will allow me to push forward on this book idea much faster than I have been in the last six months!

Work retreat

For most of last week I hung out with the OMF Japan social media team. We're a five-person remote team and work from our respective homes across Japan. Our role is mobilisation: we encourage people to get more involved in mission, even if that is just knowing more about the needs for the gospel in Japan. Each team member is part-time, we've all got other ministries that we're involved in. So it was a joy to get together in one place (mostly—one member didn't join us as she's on maternity leave).

During our days together we talked about teamwork and personalities, about our mission as a team, and other team matters. But we also spent time creating together. It can be hard to just turn the creative tap on, but after working through some frustration we eventually got there. Actually, by the last afternoon I had to work hard to turn the creativity off so that we could finish our retreat and go home, even if we hadn't finished the projects we set our hands to.

My role on the team is leader, as well as writer and editor. I got to do a short writing/editing workshop with the team this year—it always amazes me how much I know about editing when I get to teach others about it (but I'm also aware that there's so much I still need to learn, especially about editing longer-form writing).

Checking out photos that one team member took.

Choosing something for lunch: yes, Japanese menus can
be huge, but (generally helpfully) include pictures.

Can you hear the creativity crackling?

Brainstorming themes for 2026

The most surprising thing to come out of the retreat was that all those at the retreat had been assessed as "NFP"s on the MBTI (our absent team member is also an "NF"). If you are my FB friend you may have seen that I was questioning my own "type" before the retreat. It's been over 25 years since I had a professional assessment of my type. At the time I was a newly wed, working as an Occupational Therapist, had no kids, and had never lived overseas. Last month I did a short online version of the assessment and came out with a different "type". I did it again a few days later and came out with yet another type. 

For the purpose of the retreat I went with my original type, but I'm left pondering how I've changed. If I recall correctly, my original type indicated that two of my categories were close to the middle. So my working theory is that because much has changed in my life that has changed me, I've grown. I've learned how to operate differently than when I was that 25 y.o., and I'm pretty comfortable with that. I'm also realising that I'm older and I don't have the same level of energy that I did before I had children. I now work a fairly "introverted" job that requires a lot of organisation skills and attention to details; I've lived for most of my adult life in a country with a very different culture and where I don't understand the language well. All these things change you. Occasionally I have opportunity to break out into my more extroverted, crazy self and that often surprises those who only know me in this context. But I love that. 

I also like that I'm able to tap into my creative side, while keeping hold of my organisational abilities. It's a sly combo of these two that have allowed me to both be part of the creative groups that attended the writer's retreat in May and the social media retreat last week, but have also allowed me to be the organiser of these retreats (something that not everyone who came are good at). The more creative part of my personality also loves the variety in my job.

Alas, last week finished and this week began and I'm back at my desk, hardly talking to anyone during the day (though I have been writing many emails). I'm glad we had the retreat, but also glad that I don't work like that all the time—by Friday night I was pretty knackered (US=exhausted). I've been catching up on all the work that got sidelined while I was away...after three solid days at my desk I'm getting there.

Writing from the depths of a writing retreat

We are into day four of our five-day writing retreat. It's going really well from an organiser's perspective. You might wonder what a retreat like this looks like. From my research and experience, a writing retreat can look quite different from one to the other. It can be as simple as one person going somewhere for the day and working on a writing project. Or it can be as complex as a group going to a very special destination for a lengthy period with a complex schedule that includes teaching, workshops, small groups, as well as individual and writing time.

This retreat is a time for missionaries who feel compelled to write to get away from their daily lives (and ministry) and write and talk about writing amongst ourselves. And we've had lots of time to do both. Each day we're spending up to five hours in "Shut up and write" (SUAW) time where we're trying hard to stay silent. We don't have desks in individual rooms, so we're mostly quietly writing in a single (beautiful) communal room. Often people will stop and go for a walk, or have a snack to break up the time. One of our group has been stoking literal fires. The room is heated by a wood heater, and yes, it's cool enough in the evenings to enjoy that.

Aomori Christian Center

Each day we're starting, straight after breakfast with a devotions led by one of the participants and a short time of prayer. We follow this with 10 minutes of "no-back-space" writing time, using a choice of several prompts, from the serious to the absurd. After that, there's time to share what you've written, if you wish. I've also given a Daily Creative Challenge that people can choose to do during the day if they wish. Then we transition into a couple of hours of SUAW before lunch.

After lunch we've spent 40–80 minutes talking about writing, which has been participant-led. It's often been people sharing something they've written and the rest of us giving kind, but constructive feedback. But also we've had discussions about an idea for a story or article.

The rest of the afternoon is SUAW. It's been wonderfully focused time. No nattering or catching up on email or errands to run or meals to prepare or meetings to attend. I'm so thankful that our hosts here are fully catering for meals, snacks, and drinks. 

After dinner we've had time to share our responses (if we wish) to the Daily Challenge. On the first couple of evenings we had some get-to-know you questions that we each answered, as well as sharing our expectations for the week. Then we've indulged in some fun games which have been welcome after the intensity of the day.

I'm appreciating the time to relax into being here, and also being with this small group, most of whom I didn't know well. It means that it's much less hit-and-go than previous short events that I've led, most of which have been one or two nights only. We've been able to focus on longer projects or getting more things written. But it's also challenging. This hasn't been a holiday.

As one who has mostly worked in the publishing field as an editor, to have this much time to work on my own writing is very confronting. It's not that I haven't written much in the last 17 years, I've actually written quite a lot! Dozens of magazine articles and online articles, a handful of short pieces in book collections, and a personal blog that now contains 3,300 posts. 

It's the latter that I'm focusing on this week. The last three days I've been reviewing what I have actually written...from the beginning in March 2009. I've been pondering what content I've got that could be reworked into a larger thing—also known as a book—for publication. That is also confronting. For years I've eschewed any idea that I might write a book, and now I'm wondering if I actually should. That scares me because it is a big project, a long-term project. But it also excites me.

The other exciting thing is that it's looking likely that we'll be able to do it again next year in the same location. Hopefully we'll be able to widen the invitation to allow a larger group to join us. Though the small group has been very special and comfortable, I know that there are others out there who would love to join us and would both benefit and contribute. We'll see what feedback everyone gives me after this is over so that we can make the next one even better. 

Exciting week coming up

One of my secret joys is getting away with other people who love to write, and simply focussing on writing. And living in a country where the language is not your own is a lonely place for a writer. So I've had to make my own opportunities.

It's over five years since I ran a writing retreat. On Monday I'm heading north to host a five-day retreat for OMF people. I'm so glad that this long-held dream is actually coming to pass, and that I really haven't had to do too much to prepare.

A scene from the 2020
writers retreat.

Last time I did this it was mid-March 2020 at the start of the crazy pandemic years...literally, that plague was a few weeks old and we were nervous. Thirteen of us gathered in three holiday apartments (where we've often had holidays in the mountains). I "outlawed" talking about the pandemic and we didn't wear masks. Little did I know that would be the last time I saw the faces of people in person outside my family for many many months (or was it years?).

It was so successful that several people who attended kept asking me when I was going to do it again. One of the attendees and I dreamed of doing this "up north", closer to where she lives. But with the pandemic as well as challenges within our own family and then home assignment, none of that has been possible.

But the dream goes way back 15 years to when I first thought about hosting a retreat/workshop and then did my first micro retreat in November 2011. I ran six between 2011 and 2020, and only one of them in Tokyo. Most of them I was involved with logistics, finance, catering, and transport too (I was often the driver and last time the facilities manager too)!

Ever since we came back to Japan last year, I've been working towards pulling this off, and in January we finally found a venue and got dates and things started to come together. And then we had eight people (beside me) sign up. So exciting!

This one is going to be easy: it's catered, finances are taken care of by the venue, and we even get transfers from the train station. And I don't have any teaching to do.

Five days is the longest one I've ever hosted (I attended a five-day one in Hong Kong in 2010). It's such a relaxed schedule that we should have a lot of time to write...something I've not had the chance to do much of in any of the six I've hosted before.

My goals for the retreat are:

1. To provide a space for people who write to get away and do that.

2. To energise writers by getting them together.

3. To offer people help with writing or editing...if they want it.

4. To make concrete plans to do this on a bigger scale, for a wider group of people, next year.

A couple of people asked me about my personal writing goals. I have one big idea and a couple of smaller ones. We'll see where and how God leads. I am full of anticipation, though. Watch this space.

I had way too many tabs open and a book review happened

[Written yesterday, but I ran out of time to finish it off and post it.]

I'm having an exceptionally difficult time concentrating on anything today...part of that is that it is my birthday and I always struggle conceptually with that—it always throws me off balance for 24 hrs! I feel like maybe you should stop celebrating that once you become an adult (or perhaps by 25 or something). We don't have much planned, indeed it was going to be a usual work day for us both. But David has had a sore throat and minimal vocal endurance since Friday, and this is his third day home. I'm just not used to him being home during the week (when it isn't a school holiday) and it throws me off balance! 

Ice cream cake and my birthday present:
eight bulbs in bloom

Our plans were (and still are) to go out for dinner and have ice cream cake afterwards. Simple, easy. With no family around there isn't any need for anything else. I did think about taking a few hours out of the office to ride to my favourite park. It would be perfect as the sakura trees are all blooming, but alas it's drizzling and cold...in fact it's been raining almost constantly for the last week, barring Sunday. So not a great day to be out at all.

So, instead I'm sitting at my desk with way too many tabs open—on all my devices, and in my head—and I'm not achieving anything. (In my defence, I did get our prayer letter for April sent out...but that was a fairly simple task, the harder stuff was done earlier in the week).

One of the things on my "rolling" to do list is to write about a book I finished recently...maybe that's something I can do today? I want to write about this to help clarify my thoughts about the topic, but also to recommend it to you as a worthwhile read.

The book is called Unoffendable by Brant Hansen. It was mentioned during the retreat in March, and, to my surprise, I was able to find it my online public library. The book takes us back to basics, especially about anger, but also love, forgiveness, and living a restful life. It was quite US-focused, though. The US sounds like a very angry culture, and perhaps Australia has changed in recent years, but I think our culture tends more towards the "she'll be right mate" laid-back attitude that both annoys and attracts Americans.

What shocks me in the book is what the author portrayed as an apparent acceptance by Christians of anger as a good emotion: legitimising one's answer as "righteous" is commonly mentioned in the book. People saying that you can't get things done unless you utilise anger as a motivation. And "Isn't being offended part of being a Christian" (quote from p15 of my ebook).

The author has concluded, in an apparently counter-cultural move, that Christians should be the most unoffendable people on the planet. Here is some of what the Bible says about anger:

"Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice" (Eph. 4:31 NIV).

"My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires" (James 1:20).

"But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips " (Col. 3:8).

I looked it up and the term "righteous anger" isn't in the Bible, actually. Most of what is written there about anger is very negative.

But as I type that, I think of examples of stories of characters in the Bible who did get angry for good reasons: Moses (more than once), David, various prophets, etc. But the question really is, as a book review on The Gospel Coalition's website says, in theological terms, is "anger a communicable or incommunicable attribute of God. . . is anger an attribute God shares with people?" A question you need to answer before you can use Jesus's anger as a justification for your own.

I am no theologian, but I think that Christians probably justify anger more than we should, but also, that there are times when anger is okay. But I don't think that it's okay to hold onto anger for lengthy periods or to sling around like a sledgehammer in a way that overshadows the life of love that we're called to. I know people like that, even Christians, and they aren't easy to live life near. This book addresses the tendency to go overboard in our justification of anger.

One of the parts of the book that struck me was that a restful life, a life characterised by peace, is actually more attractive than one that is full of anger and an easy-to-offend nature. Some how "restfulness" can often feel like a waste of time to me...but perhaps I'm more useful to God if I aim more at a restful-type life, than a running-around-like-crazy life?

I always love an author who writes in a personable way and is happy to share their faults. This book has that in spades. He also has fun (and helpful) stories and quirky chapter titles like: "This is the Chapter about how we're just barely smart enough to be stupid" and "And lo, the Kingdom of God is like a terrible football team".

It's a good read, even if you don't especially struggle with anger.

_____________

Postscript: The day ended, better than it started. I did get a bit more done (maybe because I did a bit of writing here...writing often works like that for me). And finished off with a helpful international collaboration meeting with others in our organisation. Then we had a delightful meal at a Japanese restaurant and, you've already seen the photo, ice cream cake!

Connection at a retreat

I'm in a post-retreat slump. This morning (Monday), I struggled to wake up, despite having a very quiet, restful day on Saturday. And now I'm back at my desk, trying to pick up the pieces after being away from it since last Tuesday. Part of me craves the high of the retreat, the time to worship, to talk with other women, and, to be brutally honest: to swan around without responsibilities!

I guess this slump probably means that I am actually quite tired and need a longer break than just one day. I'm looking forward to going camping next week for four days, and hope that that will result in greater physical refreshing.

Last week was great, I got to escape from Tokyo and daily life to a women's retreat I've been to many times. I always look forward to this retreat with other cross-cultural women, but I don't look forward to coming home and facing the rest of my life afterwards!

This time was a bit different, though. It was great to come home to my husband and not this kind of situation. Home without children remains a very quiet place, something I love, but it was a dramatic change from hanging out with 60 other women for the better part of three days. My husband graciously listened while I spilled out many things from the week that had passed.

Entrance to the centre's onsen,
yes non-private bathing

But you might have gleaned that the retreat was good. It was, in fact, great. I got to go to the venue a day early, ostensibly to help the small leadership team to set up. But I didn't actually do much, mostly because there were so many of us helping that the few things that needed doing didn't take long (or took a lot longer, because...well you know how sometimes it's easier for one person to decide something than a committee!). So the first 24 hours really were very restful, though I did have the remnants of a nasty headache on Tuesday afternoon.

It was so much fun being able to see many people who I haven't seen for two years (the last time I went to this retreat). It's interesting reading about that retreat in 2023 (here). I'd forgotten how heavy the start of that year was. This year my heart was lighter and there were less tears. I'd also "graduated" into the "older woman" category of those who have no children left at home, which felt odd.

Some of these women I never see at any other time other than these retreats. Yet, conversations are deep. I pondered this with one lady over lunch one day. We concluded that most of us feel like outsiders most of the time, but at a retreat like this we are insiders who are almost all living in a foreign land. It's comforting to find this a common ground and fosters strong bonds that form quickly.

Writing workshop ladies talking

Worship through song during the retreat was led by a couple of very down-to-earth ladies and our speaker was also very relatable. The talks were Bible-centred and the retreat started out with a whole session of focussing our eyes on God, in particular focusing on his unfailing love.

Thursday afternoon was free time, plus the option of attending two of four short workshops. Yours truly ran one, on a topic I've never specifically taught before: writing prayer letters (for those who hate doing it). Eight ladies were brave enough to come and I hope they went away with a few ideas to help make this routine ministry task easier. I'm not a natural teacher, and find it uncomfortable to stand up in front of even a small group like this, but I can see ways that I might repeat this (and do a better job).

After that I went for a walk with a very dear friend who I haven't seen since December.

Thursday night was very special: an open worship night. I've noted in the past that at these non-church interdenominational events I often feel more free. I've worshipped in conservative circles all my life and am happy there. So worshipping with people who are far more expressive is different, but good for my soul, I think. We mostly sang, and towards the end dissolved into a lengthy people of spontaneous micro-prayers. It was exceptional. 

The fun ride home

On Friday we left for home straight after lunch. I squeezed into a fun car full of six women and our luggage. We had a great afternoon, you guessed it—talking all the way home (about four hours, as we gradually dropped of ladies along the way, and only got a tiny bit lost along the way)!

During the week I had all sort of encounters. Here's a tiny taste:

I met a neighbour I didn't know I had. She and her husband work in a Chinese ministry at a sister church to ours and live about five houses from us.

I caught up with the mum of one of my youngest son's best friends. Turns out our sons had been talking (Australia to US) just that afternoon!

There were two other Aussies at the retreat. One with the Salvos and the other on a working holiday visa, I chatted with both.

At various times over the week I was able to share bits of our recent journey with neurodivergence, autism, and mental illness. And about journeying with kids into young adult years, especially about the bumps and challenges we've faced. I rubbed shoulders with mums who are ahead of me on this journey, and others who are facing up to their kids finishing high school soon, as well as women who are still in the midst of figuring out how to get their kids an education in this foreign land. We all learn from one another and it's a joy.

I met women who "know" me through my writing: this blog and through my work with the Japan Harvest magazine. That's always a little scary. What do people know about me? What do they think they know? Many who know me for my role as a managing editor make assumptions about my educational background that aren't true. No, I don't have a university degree in writing (or editing, though I've discovered that few editors do, most learn on the job like I did). But it's always exciting to hear from those who have really enjoyed the content of the magazine. My roomie was busy reading the latest issue (I don't think she was trying to impress me).

I did a lot of listening and a lot of talking. And, as usual, came away wishing that I'd done more listening and been slower to speak.

Last week on Facebook, I shared this article about the value of cross-cultural relationships. I could probably write a whole blog post as I bounce off ideas that the two authors shared, but here's a tiny portion as it relates to the friendships amongst women I meet at English-speaking retreats in Japan.

Cross-cultural friendships may often lack the natural reference points that ease our interactions with people of our own background, but they do have the advantage of creating a sense of self-expansion. This is the sense that we are growing as people...

Self-expansion can come in many forms. It may come from an exposure to new points of view, or an introduction to new and exciting experiences that we had never encountered alone...we are constantly learning from each other...

Connections across countries . . [may help] to loosen some of the shackles on our thinking so that we are more receptive to new ways of viewing the world—a more flexible and open-minded attitude that encourages innovation. (David Robson and Alessia Franko, "'I call her my Italian sister': The power of cross-cultural friendships")

So, I think that these friendships are very helpful. They take me beyond my usual thoughts and experiences and stretch me into someone who has a bigger experience and broader mind. I love getting outside our organisation and church and hearing about how other people and organisations do life. It helps keep me realistic about the various challenges we face in our own lives. I'm already looking forward to next year's retreat!

Enjoying some exciting days

It’s been two weeks since I last wrote here. Where did that time go? 

In school colours

Wrestling again

I've been at two wrestling tournaments in the last two weeks! The first was a single, but long day with a lot of wrestling and three or four hours of travel.

The second, the first four days of this week, were spent away with the school’s current wrestling team as a female chaperone and fan. Also as the wife of the team driver. I’d thought my days attending such events were over, but was grateful for an official reason to indulge again. It’s a sport that can really get under your skin and, yes, this event pretty much confirms that we’ve got the bug. And we saw a lot of wrestling. The days were long, I estimate we spent about 30 hours in the gym where the three-day tournament was hosted, with 300 or more other people. The sport itself is pretty quiet but spectators and coaches can make a lot of noise!

The first 60 to 90 minutes of the days in the gym started quietly as we were often the first school to arrive. It was a time that they had warm-ups and meetings, so I pulled out my computer and got what work done that I could. But once the wrestling started I inevitably found it much harder to concentrate and, having already dealt with the “lower hanging fruit” of my to-do list for work, gave up trying to achieve much more. Editing and writing take a fair bit of concentration and I was concerned that I’d probably make errors I’d later regret!

This was one of my favourite moments of the
tournament (it's a screenshot from a video I
took for the wrestler's mum). An unexpected but
vital victory in the finals of the duals.

Of course accompanying the team means you’re pretty much on from breakfast time to after dinner. They were long day, but not as emotionally draining as when our own kids were doing it, though I can’t claim to be tear-less for the whole event! We know how much these kids put into training and it’s amazing to watch and encourage and walk alongside them, especially through an emotionally gruelling three-day event.

What was particularly amazing to watch again was the value of a good team. I’ve seen it before: individuals performing above what you think they can do because they have the higher goal of wrestling for the team. The team aspect of this particular event was really on a different level for our guys, and they pulled together so well. Everyone’s contribution was meaningful, even one point made a difference (each bout they could contribute up to 5 points to the team’s total, it depended on if and how they won or even lost a bout). The end result for the semifinal and final came down to just 2 or 3 points difference between the teams!

The US Army base is situated on towards the
south-western border of the Kanto plain, and
has a pretty nice mountain view. Blue sky
like this also thrills my Aussie heart.

The guys achieved what no other CAJ wrestling team has achieved: won both portions of the competition. The team got the highest number of points in the individual portion of the competition and then also won the team-portion (duals).

We had another surprise when we arrived home on Wednesday night: a bunch of teachers and their kids were waiting for us in the car park with pop-out streamers and a big sign: Champs. So fun!

Both working (and matching in
wrestling team hoodies)

The other wonderful part of this whole event was doing it with David. This whole learning to live without kids at home after being married 27 years includes a lot of choosing to do things together. And this is a shared interest, so it was lots of fun.

Ah, but I’m raving on about wrestling before and most of you couldn’t care less about that!

Other exciting stuff

It's been a great week all round. A couple of "big ideas" I've been working on are starting to gain traction (running a small writers retreat for our mission and taking an international trip to meet up with others doing social media within our organisation). It's taken months of patient work to network, get permissions, and gather information, but I'm excited to see movement.

After some quiet weeks at work, I've also hit a busy time with the magazine: 23 edited articles to check with authors before shooting them off to our designer. They've all landed on my desk in the last 10 days or so!

But I love this kind of busyness. I've mentioned before that I struggle with the changes in pace that come with my work. Sometimes they are predictable, but day-to-day sometimes not so much. A couple of weeks back I started the week waiting on a lot of people to get back to me, and then on the Wednesday it all started pouring in!

However, I'm tired. I ended last week with a cold and then jumped straight into four days of what was like a busy school camp. We got back around 8pm Wednesday and straight back into work on Thursday. I'm very much looking forward to a quiet, restful Saturday tomorrow.

It's still messy, but I think I am growing

I took time out of the house yesterday, mostly with the intention of making more progress in reading the book Awe and intentionally following up on thinking about some of things I wrote about in this blog post in September "It's messier than I like to admit". In that post I wrote that I was planning a followup...I've not managed that till now (and I'm just pondering where the last seven weeks have gone!).

Autumn colours in the park

I've been trying to come to terms with a less busy life. A life without boys at home is less busy. Both the ministry roles I've returned to this year are less intense now. A lot of what I've done in the past has been spread out amongst others, which is a good thing, but leaves me with wondering how to best use my time. But I'm also aware that, though I am not "old" yet, I am "less young" than I was 25 years ago when I started having the responsibility of children, and the reality of that is that I have less energy and take longer to recover.

So yesterday I rode to my favourite large park, but was very distracted by how chilly it was (around 18C). I'd neglected to put on appropriately warm clothing as the day before had been quite warm (25C inside). The weather and the seasons are messing with me! Last Friday I had a conversation with some American friends and it became clear how messed up I was. 

This calendar year started with a Queensland summer. We accelerated our descent into winter by heading south in mid-March and our month (April) in Tasmania in an unheated motorhome was quite chilly. Then we drove back north to a more moderate Queensland winter! In July we accelerated into summer by flying north, going from around 2 degrees Celsius to 30 C in just one day. The next two months were full-on summer and since mid September we've gradually been descending into winter again. 

Add to that that we're just still figuring out how to weather the seasons in our new apartment, which has both more sunlight and more insulation than our previous abode. So we often have difficulty accurately judging how outside will feel before we get there. This is made worse by the structure of a Japanese home: in that, to properly go outside, you have to put shoes on, at which point the inside of the house (and clothing) is no longer accessible to you...unless you take your shoes off (or take other measures, that you might have seen illustrated in OMF Japan's social media post a few weeks back, if not, then I recommend checking it out here). 

But I digress. The problem with my conversation was that if I started using seasons to anchor my story, I was instantly in trouble. For example, "We came back [to Tokyo] in the summer, but will be heading back [to Australia] to a summer wedding in January." followed by "We're also planning to go back to Australia next summer (but it will be winter there)." Americans tend to call the middle of the year "the summer" as an overall term for "long school holidays", whereas Australias call our long summer holiday period "Christmas" or "Chrissy holidays" or "Christmas and New Year" or "End of the year." And so it's all a confused mess. So, in the conversation, I started using calendar anchors, rather than seasons!

Anyway, back to trying to read my book in the park: I spent ages trying to make up my mind about what I'd do about feeling too cold. I ended up eating lunch and riding to a coffee shop in a familiar shopping centre on my way back home. It wasn't ideal as it was much noisier than the park, but at least it wasn't home where there are so many other distractions.

I tend to process things better when I write (or talk), but I didn't take my computer or any people with me. Only the book, my phone, and a pencil and notebook. So I'm going to do some processing here.

The book is full of thought provoking stuff. It's key point is that human beings are hardwired for "awe". The problem is we were created to be in awe of God, but because of sin find it impossible, and the awe of God is very quickly replaced by awe of self. He's saying that "awe lies at the bottom of a whole range of human struggles". Nothing else satisfies our awe-wired existence, and thus we end up angry, lonely, disappointed, addicted, bitter, etc. We are self-centred, feel entitled, or experience relational dysfunction, seek to control people, live in fear or envy or drivenness or exhaustion. Tripp traces all these things back to our "awe problem".

In relation to the purpose of my ministry now that life is running at a slower pace, I was struck (in September) by: "Ministry is meant to be something bigger than completing a list of tasks" (p. 49. Ouch. He continues, "You have been called to the high position of making the invisible glory of God visible to people who quickly lose sight of God's glory and begin to look for glories elsewhere (Psalm 145:4).

In many ways he's writing to himself, but also to us all. All Christians are "in ministry" whether paid or not. We are all called to point others to God's glory. If we were all doing this for each other, we would be a more effective community.

It's easy to get very discouraged by all of this, because Tripp goes to great lengths to tell us that we can't help ourselves. On our own we can't fix this. However, God can.

Only when the awe of God rules your heart will you have joy even when people disappoint you and life gets hard. Awe means your heart will be filled more with a sense of blessing than with a sense of want. . . remember that he [God] is so rich in grace that he will never turn a deaf ear to your cries (p 105-106).

We all question God's character, and, despite the theology that we say we believe, we struggle to live that way "at street level". We wonder if God is good, if he is in control, does he have the power to help us, does he even care? Yep, I have these thoughts too (witness it in this blog post from this time last year). Therefore it was reassuring to read this:

God alone will never leave you...he never sends you without going with you. He is your protector, guide, defender, teacher, savior, and healer. He never mocks your weakness but gives you strength...His care is so awesome and so complete that nothing in your life's experience in any way compares." p 105

None of this is new to me. But I keep forgetting, so it is good to be reading a book that reminds me (and of course the Bible is riddled with such reassurances). Not remembering these things leads to discontent and complaints. And it's so easy for complaints to slip into our thoughts and conversation.

You can't do that work of awe reclamation on your own. You desperately need grace—but you and I are called to treasure that work and to pursue and participate in it any way we can. And we are called to humbly admit our need and again and again run to the grace that stands as our only hope of personal growth and change. (p. 129)

So I guess yesterday was partly about me running back to my saviour and admitting my need for his help. Help to grow, to know how to walk with him in this new season, and to fix eyes on him so that my awe is directed towards him again, instead of my own "kingdom of one".

God sent me to Japan again in July. He came with me and he has a purpose for me here in this new season, with all my weaknesses and foibles. I need to trust him . . . still and again! Possibly I'll look back at some time in the future and know what that purpose is (though I suspect it won't be one simple thing). Right now my job is to do my best each day, with God's grace, to point others towards his glory, however that looks in my life and with the strengths and skills that he gave me.

I hope this makes sense to you. I am not sure I can make it any better at this time! I am planning to finish the last three chapters of the book before the end of the year. Maybe I'll write again after I read those, maybe I won't. Perhaps you'll see the outworking of God in my life and writing without me consciously trying to pry it out of my head?

Rowboat, sentences, and driver's licence

This has been an interesting week, and not as quiet as my written schedule might lead you to believe. I think I'd been settling just a little into a "quieter" life. Time to read, to go a bit slower than usual. But this week has been a little different. For starters, I've picked up my editing pen again. OMF Australia has given me a spot as a guest editor for one of their publications. It's been good to brush up those skills a little.

A local park, a place that's helping
us stay a bit grounded here.

I wrote our monthly prayer letter on Monday and sent it Tuesday. A pretty usual end-of-month activity, but one that always involves a little reflecting on the month gone and looking at what the month ahead holds. It definitely showed that October was considerably quieter than the several months that had gone before it, and I guess that has shown up in my musings on this blog.

Over the last few weeks, on quieter days, I've been trying to invest more in reading about writing, as well as taking up a few small opportunities to write. I've spent many Tuesdays mornings at our local library writing. I haven't had a huge output or a big project that I'm working on, but just setting aside time on a set day to write in a different environment has been helpful. 

This week I finished a book about sentences: First you write a sentence by Joe Moran. It wasn't the easiest book to read, but that kind of helped it to feel like I was doing "work" i.e. professional development, not just reading for pleasure! Here's one helpful quote:

‘It’s necessary to write as if your sentences will be orphaned, because they will be.’ (Evelyn Kinkenborg)…Once our sentences are written and sent out into the world to be read, they are on their own. Most of us cling to a residual belief that we will still be there, hovering over the reader as she reads, to explain, when she stumbles over our words, what we really meant. We won’t…Writing a sentence is …hard because you have to arrange them in such a way that they can be deciphered in your absence” (p. 24–25 First you write a sentence, Joe Moran, 2018).

Later he qualified that statement about orphans by saying that sentences really need to be read in context, that "the sentence you are reading needs the already read and still unread sentences around it" (p. 161).

Another gem from the book: "Reading a sentence should never be a grim duty. . . Most paragraphs are longer than they need to be, likewise most chapters. Most books go on for fifty pages longer than they should. We forget all this because it is less effort to speak than to listen . .  at some point, sooner than we think, we should stop. no one is ever as interested as we are in what we have to say. They need to eat, or catch a train, or go to bed because they have work in the morning. The courteous actor says his lines and leaves the stage with no encore." (p.199)

Unfortunately the author didn't really take his own advice. This book could have been considerably shorter! What kept me reading, though, was the gems like I've quoted. One of the reviewers on Goodreads said "About 96% twaddle. Which is annoying because the 4% has some really good ideas and observations." Ironically, a good developmental editor would have been a big help!

Aside from reading interesting books, and writing and editing, we've been walking alongside our sons as they continue to settle into life in Australia. This week that's meant:

• helping our middle son finally get his learners licence again (he had a Japanese learners, but that journey was interrupted by a seizure nearly two years ago)
• helping facilitate communication to allow our sons and one other missionary kid to apply to take over a lease from four other young men (two of whom at least are missionary kids themselves) 

Both the above are part of long complex journeys, and it was satisfying to complete a clear step in each one this week. Two more tangible steps towards our twin goals of them living independently as adults and us returning on our own to Japan to continue work there.

A strange thing, but I also did two things that I've been postponing. I bought three new t-shirts (as we approached downsizing and moving to Australia, I pretty much stopped buying anything that wasn't consumable or an immediate desperate need, so it's been a long time since I bought a t-shirt). I also made an appointment with a physio for a problem that's been bothering me for many months (years?). These seem like small things, but they felt big, like I was settled enough to do them?

We've also had car trouble, which has meant the first driving lesson got cut short yesterday. And more money will be paid than we want to. The car is at the mechanic and we've had to borrow a car this weekend to fulfil our ministry commitments.

This week we also started talking to our families about Christmas plans . . . this is something we only do a couple of times a decade! And noted that it's getting gradually more complex as our kids get older. Our families live a whole day's drive apart, so it is always a bit complicated to factor in everyone's needs, desires, plus the sheer practicalities of travel. On top of that we have other people (long-term friends and supporters) wondering if they can catch up with us during the Christmas holidays (roughly Dec–Jan), but we can't set dates until we've settled on dates with our families. 

Yesterday evening I felt like I was a little row boat that had had a number of ripples pass underneath me: unsettled and rocked, not by any one thing, but by the various life things going on, some of which I've mentioned above. When this happens I can be quite harsh on myself, wondering where my faith in God my rock is. After all this is what King David wrote:

Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
    my hope comes from him.
6 Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
    he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
7 My salvation and my honour depend on God;
    he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
8 Trust in him at all times, you people;
    pour out your hearts to him,
    for God is our refuge. (Ps. 62:5–8)

I will not be shaken? I'm not sure exactly of the meaning here. I know that houses in Japan are built so that they can be shaken by an earthquake, but still remain standing and undamaged. Perhaps that's it?

So, a rowboat, sentences, and a driver's licence, and a myriad of other things that have made up this week, including a really hot, but dry day of around 37C, and a much cooler, yet more humid day today (around 26C). Tomorrow we put on our "missionary" hats again and, all things going well, we will present at an OMF meeting and then have lunch with friends from uni days.