Unexpected tears

More unexpected joy this week, but you're going to have to bear with me a tiny bit because there's backstory to why I was crying during a two-hour predominantly Japanese-language OMF celebration on Monday.

For a long time I've had a passion to share missionary's stories. It's stories that grab people's attention, and missionaries collectively have some amazing ones to tell, but often not the time or skill or passion to get them out to a wider audience. It's my joy to be pretty much working with missionaries and their stories most of the time these days. 

In 2017 I had a unique opportunity to start a blog for OMF Japan that has become a wonderful vehicle for getting missionary's stories about Japan out to a wide audience. I've had the support of OMF Japan leadership and the field in this endeavour and the last eight years we have published one story a week on our website...that's around 400 stories. At almost the same time I joined with one of my colleagues to start OMF Japan Facebook and Instagram pages as ways to get our website stories seen even further.

Fast forward to today and I'm working with a creative team of five on our social media, and getting stories from across Japan to share with thousands of our followers. In September this year we had the theme "Partnering with Japanese churches" and one of my team members asked one of her colleagues, AJ, for a story about the church that he is planting in partnership with their church. AJ wrote a really good story. As soon as I read it I knew this was important to share with our audience. So, I edited it and then we got it out there (you can see it here).

On Monday, we celebrated the 75th anniversary of missionaries coming to Japan with OMF and 60th anniversary of missionaries going from Japan to other parts of Asia with OMF. It was a joint two-hour gathering in a church in downtown Tokyo.

A portion of AJ's story was shared as a key part of the message presented by OMF International's General Director (GD), in fact, he used it to bookend his talk on John 3: 29, 30.

In particular, this bit:

When we first began exploring the idea of planting a new church, I sat down with our Japanese pastor from Hatogaya and admitted, “I am scared of this undertaking.” . . .

Pastor Oshima listened and I will never forget his response. He simply smiled and said, “That’s okay. I’m scared too. Let’s be scared together.” 

I was stunned, and delighted. And teary. 

Our organisation is very large, over 2,500 people actively engaged in various ways across the globe. The GD is from Taiwan and works in Singapore, I've met him only once and never had a conversation with him. Yet this story had reached him and he used it to encourage his largely Japanese audience (with translation) to push on in doing God's work.

I only had a tiny part to play in this, but somehow God took my "two small fish" and used them for his glory.

To be fair, there were other elements in the gathering that had me pulling out a tissue, before and after this surprise. Most of the talking was in Japanese and the only speech that I really understood was the one spoken in English by the GD. 

But we sang. One of the songs, "One Voice" I first encountered it in Japanese during our first term in Hokkaido. I learned it during a very difficult time in my life when I felt pretty useless and exhausted (two little boys under 5 + trying to work in a Japanese church without much language or capacity). It makes me emotional most times I sing it! Interestingly, the English version doesn't affect me at all!

English lyrics:

Father, we ask of You this day
Come and heal our land
Knit our hearts together
That Your glory might be seen in us
Then the world will know
That Jesus Christ is Lord

Let us be one voice that glorifies Your name
Let us be one voice declaring that You reign
Let us be one voice in love and harmony
And we pray, O God, grant us unity

Now is the time for you and I
To join our hearts in praise
That the name of Jesus
Will be lifted high above the earth
Then the world will know
That Jesus Christ is Lord

After the service they had some refreshments and there was much mingling amongst those gathered. The prayer booklet, Beneath the Surface, was for sale, in English and Japanese, this is another project that I had deep involvement in in 2019/20. I'm always excited to see it "out in the wild" as it's also one of my editing babies! I had just had a conversation the day before with someone from our church who's very excited about this booklet, she's sent it to her mum in New Zealand who is also excited and it giving it away to whoever she can. My friend asked me for 10 more copies!

I was exhausted by the end of Monday. It included four trains and an hour-long car journey and constant interaction from the moment I climbed into the car before 8 am. But also so much brimming with joy at God's good gifts to me that day. Though I periodically feel pretty useless and not worthy of being used by God in Japan, he continues to call me and to encourage me, and even use my "two small fish" (see the story of Jesus feeding the five thousand in John 6).

Unexpected joy

I had a fun day yesterday. The backdrop was autumn colour and the amazing network of people that life in missionary circles brings you. Add a layer to that: a long car trip within Tokyo made interesting by a couple of well-researched and presented podcasts. Then, later, another sound track: that of a gym full of wrestlers training and conversations with spectators. Even later, the sound of two video calls: one with a son and the other with church members from various countries sharing with one another at a prayer meeting.

Over lunch, at a cafe about 30 km away, I met up with some old friends and some new, all from the US, though almost all had spent lots of time outside that country. Conversation was wide and varied—tea and scones, life in Japan, education of deaf kids in the US (which I was appalled to hear is dreadfully lacking), Deaflympics, Costa Rica, ministry to at-risk women, and how God lead two of those present into their current ministry to missionary families with kids that have special needs. Oh, and we talked about wrestling too!

Most of those present have a child with a disability. Three of those present have a child who is a wrestler.

One family, friends of friends, was in Japan for the Deaflympics with their son who is a pretty talented wrestler, in both GrecoRoman and Freestyle (our boys only did the latter, but the former is also an Olympic sport, and basically is wrestling that only allows you to touch, or use, the upper body). I knew that these people were in town and had earlier hatched a plan to see if we couldn't connect up this young man with the CAJ wrestling team, who are currently training for the first meet of the season. It was a bit of a mad scheme that actually came off and yesterday afternoon I was also able to welcome them to CAJ and the wrestling team.

I ended up sticking around at training for a couple of hours, talking with those who were on the side, and just absorbing the wrestling vibes—remembering the faces we got to know in January and February this year when we hung out with the team for several days. Yes, it is this season again and, our part-time hobby (how else can I describe it?) is digging its claws into us again. On the first Saturday of December I'm helping David run the tournament that CAJ holds each year and we have also been asked to help out with chaperoning the girls team to an away tournament at the end of January (I'm sure I'll have more to share on that closer to the time).

But I had yet another unexpected surprise yesterday: I went looking for crutches for an injured wrestler and was surprised to discover a basketball coach who is Australian and a trained physio. So cool to find just the help we needed on campus already (and an Aussie at that!).

One of my delights is making connections between people who otherwise never would have met. I am not a matchmaker of the Anne of Green Gables sort, but I do love a good introduction that leads to a new friendship or partnership between those who are introduced.

Our day ended as most of our Wednesdays have done in recent months: with a video chat with one of our sons over dinner, followed by an online prayer meeting with more than a dozen people from our church in Japan. It was a bit of a hectic day, but when my head finally hit the pillow, I was full of joy at what God had brought my way.

Fostering gifts

It's starting to look as autumnal 
as it feels in Tokyo.

I am grappling with what it means to call myself a writer. I've been doing that for a few years now and the evidence has mounted up that I am indeed a writer, but can I fully step into the unknown and complete a bigger project of my own? As in, can I write a book?

Twice in the last week I've been challenged on this front. Last Friday I stepped out of my comfort zone and travelled into town to an in-person writers group with other English-speakers. This is only the second meeting of this group, the first meeting I attended online. In-person feels a lot more confronting and was helpful for my motivation. I had to confess that, in the last 15 years, I've written well over 3,000 blog posts. If I've got a worthwhile idea for a book (and I think I do), then somehow I have to harness the discipline that I've used to write all that on this blog to pull something longer together and push through all the way to finish the project. 

Then I stumbled upon this article called "On hoarding wealth and fostering gifts". The author writes, "God has given you talents—things you may be unusually good at. Are you using these for his glory? . . . God has bestowed on you a greater-than-usual enthusiasm for a certain issue or cause. Are you pursuing it enthusiastically?"

Summer cypress are fun bushes that
turn red in the autumn. These ones
are growing out of a crack at the side
of the road.

God has given me talents and enthusiasms. I'm no genius writer, but I have a passion for it and I've nurtured it and worked on it. I am using it for God's glory, but can I pursue it more enthusiastically? Can I be a better steward of my time?

This brings to mind a children's song called "You were bought" by Colin Buchanan (based on 1 Cor 6:19–20 ).

"You were bought at a great price

Jesus' perfect sacrifice

So in your body glorify the Lord...

So there's this couple in their late 50s

They retire to a beautiful house by the beach

They have a beautiful boat,

They play golf and tennis and they collect shells."

You can see the whole video here.

Look up or you'll miss it!

The story in the song about shells is a true story that comes from a John Piper story in his book "Don't waste your life".

The climax of the song is when they meet Jesus at judgment. 

They say, "Look Lord, see my shells." 

The song continues: "Shells schmells. It's what you do for God that counts. Don't waste your life."

It's worth pondering. So this week I've decided to make some changes to how I'm using my time, changes that I hope will allow me to push forward on this book idea much faster than I have been in the last six months!

Work retreat

For most of last week I hung out with the OMF Japan social media team. We're a five-person remote team and work from our respective homes across Japan. Our role is mobilisation: we encourage people to get more involved in mission, even if that is just knowing more about the needs for the gospel in Japan. Each team member is part-time, we've all got other ministries that we're involved in. So it was a joy to get together in one place (mostly—one member didn't join us as she's on maternity leave).

During our days together we talked about teamwork and personalities, about our mission as a team, and other team matters. But we also spent time creating together. It can be hard to just turn the creative tap on, but after working through some frustration we eventually got there. Actually, by the last afternoon I had to work hard to turn the creativity off so that we could finish our retreat and go home, even if we hadn't finished the projects we set our hands to.

My role on the team is leader, as well as writer and editor. I got to do a short writing/editing workshop with the team this year—it always amazes me how much I know about editing when I get to teach others about it (but I'm also aware that there's so much I still need to learn, especially about editing longer-form writing).

Checking out photos that one team member took.

Choosing something for lunch: yes, Japanese menus can
be huge, but (generally helpfully) include pictures.

Can you hear the creativity crackling?

Brainstorming themes for 2026

The most surprising thing to come out of the retreat was that all those at the retreat had been assessed as "NFP"s on the MBTI (our absent team member is also an "NF"). If you are my FB friend you may have seen that I was questioning my own "type" before the retreat. It's been over 25 years since I had a professional assessment of my type. At the time I was a newly wed, working as an Occupational Therapist, had no kids, and had never lived overseas. Last month I did a short online version of the assessment and came out with a different "type". I did it again a few days later and came out with yet another type. 

For the purpose of the retreat I went with my original type, but I'm left pondering how I've changed. If I recall correctly, my original type indicated that two of my categories were close to the middle. So my working theory is that because much has changed in my life that has changed me, I've grown. I've learned how to operate differently than when I was that 25 y.o., and I'm pretty comfortable with that. I'm also realising that I'm older and I don't have the same level of energy that I did before I had children. I now work a fairly "introverted" job that requires a lot of organisation skills and attention to details; I've lived for most of my adult life in a country with a very different culture and where I don't understand the language well. All these things change you. Occasionally I have opportunity to break out into my more extroverted, crazy self and that often surprises those who only know me in this context. But I love that. 

I also like that I'm able to tap into my creative side, while keeping hold of my organisational abilities. It's a sly combo of these two that have allowed me to both be part of the creative groups that attended the writer's retreat in May and the social media retreat last week, but have also allowed me to be the organiser of these retreats (something that not everyone who came are good at). The more creative part of my personality also loves the variety in my job.

Alas, last week finished and this week began and I'm back at my desk, hardly talking to anyone during the day (though I have been writing many emails). I'm glad we had the retreat, but also glad that I don't work like that all the time—by Friday night I was pretty knackered (US=exhausted). I've been catching up on all the work that got sidelined while I was away...after three solid days at my desk I'm getting there.

Opportunity to tell about a lifetime of learning to trust God

I "gave my testimony" at church a couple of weeks ago. That phrase is generally associated with telling how you came to Christ. But for some people like me, that is not an especially enthralling story because we came to Christ as a young child with no drama. I can't even remember a time I didn't believe in God, so there really isn't much to tell.

These are the gorgeous flowers
that stood in front of the lectern are
a type of protea, native to South 
Africa. But they are a close relative
to the Australian native plants:
banksias, grevilleas, and macadamias.

 But "testimony" also means "an open acknowledgment" or "a public profession of religious experience" according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary. So, I called it "A lifetime of learning to trust God" and told a bigger story about my life. I said a bit about my childhood, a bit about how I came to meet David and came to Japan, a bit about how I came to be an editor and writer. The last third of my story was about struggling to trust God as I walked alongside our kids, as they finished high school and moved into adult life. Much of this is stuff I've written about here at various times, though it was a challenge to squeeze the details out so that I could present it in under 15 minutes.

I have stood up in front of churches and other gatherings many times to tell stories about life and ministry in Japan, it's part of our job when we're on home assignment (which we've done for a total of 4 ½ years during the last 25 years). I can't remember having an opportunity like this before. I did have to give my testimony in Japanese at language school, but doing that in (my poor) Japanese was a very different experience to speaking in my heart language.

This one turned out to be a pretty teary experience, even bits that were from a very long time ago! I know that public speaking makes me nervous, which in turn makes me more likely to be emotional when I speak, so I had tissues with me, but I didn't expect be this tearful! 

But I was very encouraged by the opportunity to be heard by the whole church. An experience like that often means an emotional connection with the audience and I've had numerous conversations since then confirming that. I pray that it was helpful for some to hear that this very ordinary person, who happens to have the label "missionary", struggles in her faith, just like they do.

We've been camping again

For only the second time in 2025 we've gone camping. There has literally been no other time where the weather, vacation time, and our personal location have all matched up. We struck a pretty awesome week for it too. It wasn't too hot or too cold. The main snag wasn't too big: it rained for several hours on our second day, the first and third days were magnificent. The fourth day, our pack-up-and-return-home day, rain threatened, and so we got up earlier than planned and were putting our last things in the cars a bit after 8 am when the rain started.

First day:

I was really looking forward to driving away from Tokyo. It's always amazing as the city fades away and the mountains get closer. That's different to Australia (the mountains bit).

Japan is really quite a thin country! It took us only about four hours to drive to the west coast, about 270 km. Also a massive contrast from Australia (it's about 20 times as far to drive across our vast nation).

Getting close to our campsite on the west coast.

We were set up not too long before the sun went down around 5 pm and look at the show we got! It's not common that we've had a good view of the sun setting while camping in Japan, so this was a real treat. We had no neighbours and an uninterrupted view of the sunset.

We enjoyed American chilli and corn chips with "choc banana boats" for dessert that were cooked over the coals. I slept really well that night.

This little guy watched up set up.

Day two:

The sky was grey and rain threatened, so we went for a walk after breakfast while the weather was still okay.

It was a good thing we did, because the rain came down after lunch and remained until well into the evening. We enjoyed quiet reading time and then played card games in the "common" area. I completely whipped everyone in Uno Flip, a game that is 95% luck and so my kids will tell me I don't get much credit for that!

Dinner was chicken kebabs on sticks and s'mores for dessert. I was awake for a couple of hours in the middle of the night—it was very peaceful, but more sleep would have been welcome!

Day three:

We awoke to a gorgeous blue sky and warm sun . . . in fact most of the day it was too hot to stay in the tent. We went walking along the beach (two of our friends went for a 20k bike ride), and whiled away the rest of the day by reading and talking.

Somehow we when we're relaxing, we end up using more Australian words and continue, after nearly 10 years, to find more Australian words our US friends don't know. One I used this was was "skerrick". It is in the Merriam-Webster dictionary (a key US dictionary), but labelled as "Australian".

Large spider!

That night we enjoyed another gorgeous sunset.

Day four: we moved fairly steadily from getting up to leaving, so I didn't take any more photos, but on the journey home I did grab a short video of the entrance to one of Japan's longest mountain road tunnels: Kan-etsu Tunnel. It's just over 11 km long. On a previous camping trip we've driven under Tokyo Bay in that long tunnel, despite feeling longer, it's just under 10 km.

I've come home feeling relaxed, but tired. It was good to relax, but not a long enough break to be very refreshed. I was back at my desk today—it was amazing how many emails came in during the six days since I last looked at my computer!

Now, typically, we're looking forward to our next camping trip. If it comes off next spring, it will be our 10-year anniversary trip with our camping friends!

Bits and pieces from this week

Much of the year our weeks are shaped by school...yes, still. That's what happens when one or both of you work at one! So David is usually at school from 8 till 5 most days, Monday to Friday. Sometimes it's more than that, but it's been his habit since we got married to leave work at school. These days he's sometimes doing email or other school-related things in the evening at home, but he tries not to. He's also an occasional school bus driver and has other tasks out of school hours like supervising SAT exams and occasionally other extra curricular events on the campus.

I try to work between those hours also, it's quite different to the kind of ministry work that many of our colleagues are doing which often involves evenings and weekends.

This week, however, David is working longer hours, and not in Tokyo. He's gone with the year 12s to Nagasaki, a city about 15 hours drive (1,200 km) south west of here. So he's gone for four days. During that time I'll have had two office-based days and two out-and-about days. Both the latter are occasional gatherings of a wide variety of English-speaking Christian women for mutual encouragement and prayer.

On Wednesday I spent most of the day in far western Tokyo. It was tantalising—close to being out of the city, but not quite. But next week we're going camping! I'm so looking forward to walking away from my work for a few days to relax.

I went walking with four ladies after lunch. 
We longed to get down to the river
but unfortunately the bank is steep here. 

Today I spent several hours with a few local Christian mums who have kids with various disabilities. We gather every few months and it’s always a special time. There are aspects to my life that they just “get”.

Tonight I’m doing something very unusual: going to a Scottish dance that a friend is holding as a fundraiser for homeless ministry. It’s kinda like an Australian bush dance. I’m looking forward to a fun night. It’s on the other side of Tokyo so I’m staying the night and will return home In the morning. Weirdly David’s just arrived back in town and is catching trains the opposite direction across Tokyo!

Something that's been weighing on my mind has been this Sunday. Our church has a tradition of having "testimony Sunday" periodically. This is a time when we hear a couple of people's testimonies during the worship service instead of a sermon. This tradition arose during periods when the church had no pastor and has continued to this day. I knew this was coming as David gave his last year. I'd kinda been looking forward to the opportunity, but have been feeling less that way as the time has gotten closer. But I think I'll leave writing about that until after I've done it and I can reflect on the whole thing. 

I’m reduced to finishing this on my phone’s tiny keyboard as I ride the trains across town. It’s time to go! See you next time.