Thinking twice about time

I've been thinking about time. That it takes more time and chronological distance to process things than we often allow. We live in the era of fast and instant: fast food, fast fixes, time-is-money, instant success etc. That subconsciously flows through to how we think and live. I see it in myself: I know the value of margin and not living life at full tilt 100% of the time, but I still struggle at times with thoughts about "wasting time."

Image from Pixabay    

Making every moment count is a concept that is so unhelpful in so many instances. For example, rest, personal growth, trauma recovery, mental illness, grief, even building friendships, dating, child raising, building a good marriage. None of these are things that can easily happen well in a short space of time. As I write about it, it even feels a little bit ridiculous that I even struggle with this concept at times, because I know this.

For example, about five or six years ago when one of our sons was having a horrid time during his last years of high school, we decided the best thing we could do for him was "give him time". He was too anxious to talk about the next week and conversations about post-high school just weren't happening. It was enough for him to just make it through each day sometimes. So we were stuck. We decided to let him stay with us for a couple of years until we could go with him back to Australia and walk alongside him as he made that huge transition to young adult years. He needed that time and we have never regretted it (though it was a bit wobbly at times when people asked about him and what he was "actually doing"). This week it's two years since he moved out of home. He's in a much better "place"—mentally and physically—and we're so glad that God gave us the wisdom of how to be the best parents we could be in a situation where we were pretty much at sea, and to be truthful, quite anxious ourselves.

Some time back a friend shared an article with me titled "Intentionally wasting time". It's written by someone from Sydney Missionary and Bible College about how we should live in relationship with others: by building in non-programmed, informal time with people. It's worth the seven minutes or so it takes to read it. Here's a quote:

Sometimes the most profound ministry moments happen during informal, unplanned spaces.

God works in quiet conversations. He turns up in fun, social times. He’s present in the impromptu prayers, in the ER waiting rooms, over meals and everywhere life happens.

While we’re waiting for the ‘main event’ to begin, or after the programmed teaching time ends, God brings us to another part of his work: to love, to be encouraged by the faith of others, and to help others love Jesus no matter what life throws at us.

One of the most enjoyable thing for me at the moment is something I realise that I've been missing for a long time: deeply satisfying relationships within a church family. And it's mostly happening because of frequent, intentional times of unstructured fellowship: staying a couple of hours after church to share lunch with others, joining an online prayer meeting mid-week (and trying not to be frustrated that it is not efficient, but rather another place where we're walking alongside others), dinners in people's homes, and even a time during the service where people share prayer and praise points.

We also really enjoy "wasting time" with our kids every Sunday afternoon: just hanging out on a video call for two or three hours. But calling it "wasting time" is to badly label it. This is totally worthwhile time.

Then today I saw another article about "wasting time" and ministry: https://www.alifeoverseas.com/did-i-waste-my-life-in-missions/. It's definitely worth a read, whatever your day-to-day job is.

Sometimes ministry can seem like a waste of time (and money). No one has ever said that to me about us following God's calling to Japan, but I wonder if they think that. I do know that people got impatient with how long it took us to get to Japan in the first place...and it's often hard not to get impatient with God's timing. 

But I think we need to go back to trusting God on this. I often pray at the start of the day that God would help us to do the things that he's prepared in advance for us to do (it's from Ephesians 2:10) and that what he leads me to will be pleasing to him. I need to trust that he's at work, that his timing is perfect, and seek his leading every day.

Fostering gifts

It's starting to look as autumnal 
as it feels in Tokyo.

I am grappling with what it means to call myself a writer. I've been doing that for a few years now and the evidence has mounted up that I am indeed a writer, but can I fully step into the unknown and complete a bigger project of my own? As in, can I write a book?

Twice in the last week I've been challenged on this front. Last Friday I stepped out of my comfort zone and travelled into town to an in-person writers group with other English-speakers. This is only the second meeting of this group, the first meeting I attended online. In-person feels a lot more confronting and was helpful for my motivation. I had to confess that, in the last 15 years, I've written well over 3,000 blog posts. If I've got a worthwhile idea for a book (and I think I do), then somehow I have to harness the discipline that I've used to write all that on this blog to pull something longer together and push through all the way to finish the project. 

Then I stumbled upon this article called "On hoarding wealth and fostering gifts". The author writes, "God has given you talents—things you may be unusually good at. Are you using these for his glory? . . . God has bestowed on you a greater-than-usual enthusiasm for a certain issue or cause. Are you pursuing it enthusiastically?"

Summer cypress are fun bushes that
turn red in the autumn. These ones
are growing out of a crack at the side
of the road.

God has given me talents and enthusiasms. I'm no genius writer, but I have a passion for it and I've nurtured it and worked on it. I am using it for God's glory, but can I pursue it more enthusiastically? Can I be a better steward of my time?

This brings to mind a children's song called "You were bought" by Colin Buchanan (based on 1 Cor 6:19–20 ).

"You were bought at a great price

Jesus' perfect sacrifice

So in your body glorify the Lord...

So there's this couple in their late 50s

They retire to a beautiful house by the beach

They have a beautiful boat,

They play golf and tennis and they collect shells."

You can see the whole video here.

Look up or you'll miss it!

The story in the song about shells is a true story that comes from a John Piper story in his book "Don't waste your life".

The climax of the song is when they meet Jesus at judgment. 

They say, "Look Lord, see my shells." 

The song continues: "Shells schmells. It's what you do for God that counts. Don't waste your life."

It's worth pondering. So this week I've decided to make some changes to how I'm using my time, changes that I hope will allow me to push forward on this book idea much faster than I have been in the last six months!

Seizing the moments this month in Queensland

It's nine days since I last wrote here and I'm definitely feeling more settled and am a little less "discombobulated". Yesterday I cooked two different meals in our friends' kitchen (successfully and without undue stress), I feel like that proves the point!

We've also been trying to keep up with
regular walking. This part of Queensland
has some beautiful spots to walk.

Normal for July is that I'm balancing my online work with the Japan Harvest magazine and our organisation's social media with David being on "summer" holidays. What's not usual is that we're also spending time with people we don't normally see: the friends we're staying with, family, church family, and other friends. It's all very good and worthwhile, but also challenging to get a good balance. I suspect we'll be a little weary when we get back to Japan.

One interesting thing I've noticed is that the time frame that we're here for (5 weeks) means that people who really want to see us are more motivated to make the time, and we're more likely to seize the moment and go for it. Six months or twelve months provides a lot of time to get a better balance (and more rest) but less urgency to get things done. 

Our main purpose of being here is to spend time with our kids, and you can see below that we've been very intentional about that.

Here are some of the things we've done in the last 10 days:

• Had a "State of Origin" party (high profile rugby league game between our state and another) at our youngest son's house with his brother.
• Met my parents for lunch.
• Met different long-term friends on three occasions for lunch or coffee.
• Wendy went to an afternoon tea fun gathering with other women from our home church.
• David’s gone to a couple of men’s coffee mornings.
• A couple of routine medical/optometry visits.
• Drove to 75 km to the north of Brisbane for an open night at a camp that our youngest son is at with Christians from his uni (and another local uni).
• Went to a movie with our middle son and had lunch at his place another day.
• David went to another movie with our hosts and youngest son.
• Most nights we've had dinner with our hosts.

I've been trying to keep up with general work that comes across my desk. Thankfully it's not been too heavy a work-flow this month, but I'm aware that I'm pretty distracted by all of the above. Along with that I've had some online work meetings about magazine and social media matters.

Someone asked me the other day how often we come to Australia, and I had to say that there is no usual now, it's actually in flux as we figure out this new chapter in our lives. But as we go about life here this month, we're thinking about the middle of next year. Our organisation has a key value of ensuring missionaries spend time in their "home" countries. There are five purposes for that:

1. Reporting to churches concerning the ministry/work.

2. Participation in the mobilisation work of the OMF Homeside.

3. Rest and renewal.

4. Reunion with family, friends, and supporting churches.

5. Re-equipping for a more effective ministry.

There used to be a pattern of around four years of service "on the field" and one year in your "sending country" the latter year being called "home assignment". This has been changing in the 25 years we've been working in Japan. Now, for various reasons, it's less common to do one year home assignments and thankfully our organisation is flexing to accommodate. And we're re-evaluating our own plans in the light of our new season without children at home anymore. 

This time next year we're planning to do a short home assignment, probably June and July. There are many reasons for this, which I won't bore you with. But we're hoping it will be a viable ongoing option for the future because the whole upheaval that goes with moving to Australia for six months to a year is a lot. We've done it five times now and are fairly reluctant to do it again, though we know the value of the above points!

We've got two and a half more weeks before we fly back to Japan now and it's probably going to fly by fast with more of the types of social engagements you see above. We're trying to seize the moment and be as present as we can as we spend time with precious people we would not otherwise see.

Weeks of contrasts

It's been been another couple of weeks full of contrast. (Sorry, this is a little bit long, nice photos and a bit of Japanese history and culture, though.)

Last week Monday: was CAJ’s winter break, which meant Monday and Tuesday off for teachers and students alike. The monthly Kanto gathering of people associated with our mission happened to fall on Monday, so David was able to join for the first time in 18 months (he’s usually working, and of course, we were out of the country for a year). It was a great day of catching up with friends and colleagues. But also it was loud because the room isn’t large for the 40 or 50 who gathered. To have conversations with someone in front of you, you practically had to shout at people. Sad, but true. And tiring. We stayed a little longer, not to watch a certain popular football match that was being shown, but to record a couple of videos with my short term worker.

Plum blossoms are one of the first 
to bloom in late winter, bringing the promise of
spring with them. The inside of this building is
shown in the next photo. It was built by an
architect in 1942 for himself.

Tuesday: we had various half-baked plans for the day, but these all got thrown out when we got an invitation to hang out at a park with colleagues. It’s not a great time of the year to go to a park (end of winter deadness plus cold), so we chose to go to the Edo-Tokyo Open Air Architectural Museum. It’s inside the large park I’ve often written about here. I’m the only one of the four of us who’d been inside, but that was for the purposes of a photography workshop, not actually reading the signs and learning about the many buildings that have been relocated to this spot. It was fascinating! 

I've included a few photos along with captions (the brochure they gave us in English was very helpful).

Inside the house shown above. The high ceiling is unusual and as it
faces south, the room was bright, even on a cold winter day.

This is a farmhouse, a fairly well-off farmer, I suspect. Part of the inside was 
an earthen floor. This is from the mid-Edo period (1680–1745).

The thatched roof of another farmhouse. This was a fairly prestigious upper-class farmhouse.
It's a little difficult to imagine how they lived because there was little furniture in these traditional-style homes. But these roofs are amazing. I can't image that there are too many people around these days who are skilled in the art of building and maintaining roofs like these.

I can't remember exactly which house this was in. There were two large
houses right next to one another. One of them was the home of Korekiyo Takahashi, who
played an important role in Japanese politics in the early 1900s. He was Prime Minister (1921–22) and, in 1936 he was the finance minister. This house has a couple of rooms upstairs that were Takahashi's study and bedroom and where he was assassinated in a coup in 1936, known as the "February 26 incident". We'd never heard of this incident. Several leaders were killed, but then 19 were executed and 40 imprisoned for their involvement.

This is in the commercial section of the museum, a little street full of former shops. This is 
a kitchenware store built in the late 1920s. The outside is covered by copper plates.

Oil-paper umbrella shop

And this beautiful public bathhouse. What was amazing about this is
how little Japanese bathhouses have changed in the last 100 years.

Outside of the bathhouse.. The features are similar to temples and shrines, with carvings of 
gods of good luck above the entrance.

There were lots of bilingual signs around with tonnes of information. I'd love to go back. One I sign took a photo of was in this bathhouse. I'll transcribe most of that here:

We can find a connection between the origin of the bathing in Japan and the custom in which human beings purify their mind and body with water. In Japan where rice has been cultivated with abundant water resources since BCE, water was a holy element that fosters life and washes away kegare [lit: uncleanness], a polluted and evil condition, and purge things.

In a part of the Account of the Easterners: Account of the Japanese people, which recorded the situation of Japan in the circa 3rd century in the Book of Wei of the Records of the Three Kingdoms, the official history of China, described a custom in which a family who lost their members immersed themselves into water in a white costume after the funeral to purge kegare. The manner of purification of the mind and body with water was diversified into a variety of practices such as immersion into rivers and waterfalls and remains today. Apart from it, the manner of rinsing hands and mouth at chōzuya (fountain for purification) when the people visit shrines is another transformation of the custom that continued to exist.

Bathing, in which people artificially boil water and use the hot water and steam from it, was introduced to Japan around the 6th century with the arrival of Buddhism. The Buddhist temples were equipped with bathing facilities in which Buddhist monks cleanse their minds and bodies and heal their illness in steam which were required to accord with the teaching of Buddha. These facilities were later opened to the public . . . and spread widely over Japan along with having been associated with the propagation of Buddhism. 

Public bathing in Japan peaked in the 60s, I think, and then began to decline as people increasingly had bathrooms in their own homes. Most people these days indulge in public bathing as a relaxing pastime, something you might go out to do on a day off.

But back to Tuesday: by 3 the warmest part of the day was past and a cold wind had whipped up…and also whipped up the dust and lots of dead grass. It was nasty. Just outside the museum was a large Pottery Market. Massive, actually. All in well-secured, but open tents. We poked our noses in just for a short while, but refrained from buying anything. All the beautiful dishes were covered in dirt and grass from the wind! Needless to say, we hurried back to the car to get out of it all.

Wednesday to Friday: it was back to work at my desk at home. I had a lot of things waiting for my attention and really that’s what I did for the next three days. First day and a half I mainly focused on magazine matters and from Thursday afternoon I turned attention to OMF social media. It was satisfying.

Saturday: I went into our nearest big city centre for lunch with some other mums with kids who have significant special challenges. This loosely affiliated group gets together for lunch every other month, but I don't often make it. A very diverse group of women, and interesting conversation about our lives.

The adventure really began after I left them. I got back to the train station and found that half an hour earlier there'd been a fire near my home station and the line was closed for now. It was 3 pm and the day was already fading, I needed to decide how I was going to get home. Incidents like this quickly bring up feelings of insecurity and fragility in a foreign country. I'm very comfortable with trains in our part of Tokyo, but how easily that comfort can be disrupted!

I was 17 km from home, not far, but far enough. On a Saturday afternoon, in Tokyo, that is a 50–60 minute drive. Now I have some distance from the incident, I can see some other options, but in the heat of the moment my main thought was: can David drive and pick me up (he was at home with the car) and my second thought was: how far can I walk before he gets here? So that's what we did: I walked west and he drove east. We met up 50 minutes later, he'd driven 13 km and I'd walked 4. The walking was good and took me to a spot that was much easier for David to find me and drive around (less congested). In the end it took nearly 2 ½ hours to get home. The train would have taken about 20 minutes, plus the walk home. That's why we take the train!

Sunday: it was a pretty usual day. We rode to church mid-morning, bought lunch at a convenience store across the road, ate lunch with various others who stayed, then rode home. And then chatted and played online games with our kids for 90 minutes before having dinner.

Then back to Monday which was another people-intense day, the way all the weeks in February have started. Yesterday I spent time in the morning catching up with a colleague, and in the afternoon was back at my desk catching up with many things that had been waiting. I love both being with people and working at home at editing, writing, and admin tasks. And this month has had both in abundance and relatively well balanced. I'm thankful.

I'm still pondering my current responsibilities and wondering if I should seek to add anything else to them. In weeks like I've described above, I've had more than enough to keep me out of trouble ;-) and it makes me think that it would be foolish to eat up the margin that I do have by adding more. I have to remember these kinds of weeks when things get quieter for a time, remembering to savour the quiet times. 

It reminds me of a some Bible passages:

1There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under the heavens:

2a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

4a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

6a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.

9What do workers gain from their toil? 10I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 11He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no-one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. 13That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil – this is the gift of God. 14I know that everything God does will endure for ever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him. (Ecclesiastes 3, NIV)

And also:

He says, ‘Be still, and know that I am God;

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth.’

11The Lord Almighty is with us;

the God of Jacob is our fortress. (Psalm 46, NIV)