An overflowing week

Last week was huge—such a contrast to a usual work at my desk at home. I'm glad for all the people I interacted with, though, so thankful.

Monday

Monday was the monthly missionary gathering of OMF missionaries in our area, involving around 50 or more people. This is held at our Japan headquarters on the other side of Tokyo and typically I spend between three and four hours on six or more trains to get there and back. Once I'm there, it's encouraging, but the train journeys can be a bit fraught if you get stuck on heavily populated trains.

The morning's schedule was:

9.30–10.00 arriving, chatting, and coffee/tea

10.00 singing, devotional, announcements, welcomes and farewells.

11.00 morning tea

11.30 prayer time

12.30 BYO lunch

From 1.30 we had a working bee (cleaning/gardening to tidy up the Japan headquarters building).

I got home after 4 pm feeling pretty weary.

Tuesday

At 8.30 I met a friend I said goodbye to in 2016 when she moved back to the US. She's part of my magazine team, so I haven't lost touch with her, but having 1½ hours to sit and talk one-on-one with her at a cafe was such a joy and encouragement. In the few years that she lived in Japan we spent many hours together at prayer meetings and volunteering at school. She's just one of the multitude of friends who have passed through my life in this cross-cultural life. It felt like a redeeming moment to reconnect last week.

The rest of Tuesday was spent working hard at my computer to ensure I could be away from my desk for the rest of the week.

I climbed into a hammock leaning
over a stream!

In the evening I picked up a young Australian friend from the train station who'd be staying with us that night. She'd travelled a long way from western Japan and then gotten a bit lost on Tokyo trains. We were all pretty tired by the time she arrived, so we fed her and then went to bed.

Wednesday – Friday

I did some more desk work in the morning before gathering a carload of ladies around midday to travel to the annual Women in Ministry retreat. Our houseguest was one of my passengers, as well as a missionary neighbour and a friend from church (these days I drive a small car with only four seatbelts).

I also climbed into a tree (with help
from a taller friend)

From then on it was almost constant interaction and activity until Saturday! But, as usual the retreat was a great blessing. 

The worship times were a highlight for me. There's something about singing God's truth into our hearts that is very precious. The worship leader didn't mess around by talking: she lead us through song after song, so the flow wasn't interrupted. I found that it gave me helpful contemplation time. This retreat has been a big "lily pad" in my life over the last 20 years. It's a notable "memory handle" when I think back over those years—I remember various times in my life that this retreat has coincided with other challenging events. 

For example, the retreat in 2011, just days before our lives were sent into turmoil (on this actual day, 11th March) with the triple disaster north of of here. 

I remember the retreat in March 2020 when the magnitude of the pandemic was just starting to dawn on us. I arrived at that particular retreat with the heavy weight of one of my best friend's son who was terminally ill (at 13 years of age) and straight after that women's retreat I hosted a writing retreat that was both incredibly fulfilling as well as incredibly taxing and exhausting. 

Speaker, worship leader with two
visiting Biblical counsellors

I remember the 2021 retreat held online, just a couple of weeks after some devastating news in our family and in the midst of our middle son's traumatic last year of high school.

And 2022, when I was numb after a couple of years of almost no in-person time with people, and when a friend confronted me after noticing my unusual demeanour, I fell apart in her room as I told her about some very heavy stuff within my own family.

That's a sampling of the memories that were coursing through my brain as we worshipped. It was actually pretty therapeutic to reflect on those things as I sang about the goodness and faithfulness of God. Annual events like these nowadays are reminders to me of the friends who are no longer there (usually moved away) and the underlying grief that accompanies me now through life. Remembering, though, that God is still with me and has walked with me through all of the above, and more, was very special.

My other take-away from the retreat is diving into Ephesians 3:17–19. It's a rich passage where Paul's words start to run away from him a bit. Here it is from the Amplified version (not one I usually use, but it was helpful in thinking this through):

And may you, having been [deeply] rooted and [securely] grounded in love, be fully capable of comprehending with all the saints (God’s people) the width and length and height and depth of His love [fully experiencing that amazing, endless love]; and [that you may come] to know [practically, through personal experience]

Meals were plain Japanese-style.

 the love of Christ which far surpasses [mere] knowledge [without experience], that you may be filled up [throughout your being] to all the fullness of God [so that you may have the richest experience of God’s presence in your lives, completely filled and flooded with God Himself]. (Eph. 3:17-19 AMP).

I was particularly noticing that my head knowledge of Christ's love is far surpassed by his actual love for me. I come from a theological background that doesn't emphasis personal experience of God's love, but I think that that is only part of the story in the life of a Christian, a part that I'm still growing in my understanding of and desperately need when I have doubts about my own worthiness and value.

Friday

On Friday at noon, we headed back to Tokyo, and ordinary life. But those in my car got another three hours of enjoyable fellowship in my car. I wasn't the most reliable of drivers, though, because I was tired. I pour myself into interacting people when I get the chance and it wears me out. It was actually hard to concentrate on driving as well as talking with those in the car and I took two wrong turns and one "dodgy" last minute turn! Two stops for caffeine later and I was pleased to finally park my car outside our apartment without any serious incident.

Our Australian guest's flight wasn't until the next day, so she stayed one more night with us. We were a little sad, because, though she'd physically been present at the retreat, she'd missed the entire programme on Thursday as she stayed in bed with a cold. Thankfully she was feeling a bit better by Friday and even able to play card games with us that evening (taught me a new game too—not easy when I was so tired).

Saturday

After we said farewell to our guest and had lunch, we rode our bikes to do a small errand for some other OMF missionaries at the mission's storage facility about 2.5 km from here, and then got groceries on our way home. It wasn't a fun ride: the wind was horribly strong and cold. But this was actually a much needed rest day, so we spent the rest of afternoon and evening lounging in front of the cricket (a rare women's multi-day cricket match, Aust. vs India).

Sunday

This was a pretty usual Sunday: left for church on our bikes at 10 am, ate lunch there, and got home by 3 pm—in time to hang-out online for a couple of hours with our kids.

I'm glad every week isn't like that, but also glad that some weeks are!

Looking back at 2025

For a few years now I've been using this last week of the year to write a blog post that reflects on the year past. In particular, I've been using questions to help me focus my thoughts and keep me honest. I've done the same today.

You can vaguely see Mt Fuji in the
centre of this photo. I took this photo
today near our house.
The last sunset of 2025!

1. What makes this year unforgettable?

In January our eldest son got married to a very special lady in a God-honouring and beautiful celebration. In December they had their first child, our first grandchild, and my parents' first great-grandchild. And we got to meet our granddaughter too! It's pretty hard to go past these things for making 2025 an unforgettable year.

2. What did I enjoy doing this year?

Same answer as 1? 

I also enjoyed continuing to settle into our life-as-two again. It's different to do this as older adults. After so many years of cooking for teenage boys, I've been exploring different menu items that are better for our health, rather than affordable ways to fill up hungry boys in Japan.

Continuing to settle into our new church has also been good. This year for the first time, we have been a team leading worship: David behind the mike and me at the piano. That's been very satisfying.

I also ran a five-day writing retreat in May. That was very enjoyable, but also challenging.

I enjoyed baking for church events and hosting friends at our place. These two things that I hadn't been able to do for many of the last few years and it was good to pick them up again.

We enjoyed a couple of camping trips: one on our own (for the first time ever) and the other with our camping friends.

Mid-year we spent several a month or so in Ipswich touching base with our kids, as well as friends and other family. It was new visiting our kids when they were settled in their own lives there, but we found plenty of ways to spend time with them.

3. What/who is one thing/person I'm grateful for?

Of course it's David. He's solid and reliable, loving and kind, flexible and considerate. We've been married 28 years now and I'm so grateful for the man God lead me to all those years ago. We continue to share an enjoyment of following cricket and supporting wrestling at CAJ, this year we also went to another live sporting event in Tokyo: World Athletics Championships. Playing Scrabble remains an ongoing pleasurable challenge between us (we played 2 ½ games yesterday!).

4. What did I read/watch/listen to that made the most impact this year?

Looking back at what I've read and written about this year, I don't think there was one thing that especially impacted me. It was a year of (continuing to) discover who I was apart from being a mum with kids under my roof. That journey happened via various books, songs, articles, podcasts, conversations, writing, and even reading things I've written in the past.

5. What did I worry about most and how did it turn out?

Hmmm. I felt like I worried less this year, but that's probably due to circumstance rather than me being better at handing my anxieties over to God! 

6. What is my biggest regret?

One big thing I tried was the networking trip I did to Singapore in June. In retrospect I wasn't terribly satisfied with how that went vs the amount of effort and expense that went into it, and I won't be repeating it (at least not in the form I did this year), but I'm glad I had the opportunity to try it out.

7. What's something that has changed about me?

I'm definitely more looking towards the end of my career than I have in the past. My focus has shifted a bit and retirement is much closer than it seemed in the past. Moving forward into 2026 is the topic of my New Year blog post, so I won't go there now. 

I also find myself "one of the more experienced" people in the room far more than I used, I think that has meant a change to how I view myself.

8. What surprised me most this year?

Becoming grandparents. This wasn't something I expected in 2025, but it's been a joy!

9. What Bible truths impacted me this year?

Hmmm, a hard question. This is the first year that I've actually read through the whole Bible in a single calendar year. I used an audio version and probably didn't listen as carefully as I could have at times, but I made it through and it was a good way to spend my energy! 

One theme has been allowing myself to relax into a quiet stage of life. At the women's retreat I went to in March the speaker talked about how life often resembles a white-water rafting trip. That there are times in life that you are holding on for "dear life" and other times when the water is quiet and you're moving along peacefully. She reminded us that it's okay to be in the quiet period and to be trusting God through that as much as through the rough times. I've thought about this often through the year. Rather than wondering when/what the next rough time will be, I've been trying to relax and trust God, but also to be thankful for the peacefulness we're currently experiencing in our lives.

Also, been recalling again that my value as a human is fixed. It isn't flexible according to how much I do or accomplish, how talented or successful I am. My value is fixed by God: he created me and that gives me worth.

In October I had the opportunity to give my testimony at church. I spoke on the theme of a lifetime of learning to trust God. It was much harder to do than I'd anticipated, but also a joy to have the opportunity to share a bit of my story.

10. What meta-themes have I thought about this year? (in no particular order)

This question overlaps with so much of what I've written already...

• grandparenthood
• being a parent to adult kids
• what is God calling me to do for the remainder of my time in Japan
• investing in writers
• writing a book
• looking back at 25 years in Japan
• networking
• telling God's stories
• the ongoing challenge of farewells as well as investing in new relationships
• the joy of being involved more deeply in a church again

Highlights

• meeting our granddaughter
• travel to see our kids (three times in the year, a record for us for travel to Australia)
• not moving house
• retreats: women's in March, writers in May, social media team in October, and an OMF conference in June
• helping the CAJ wrestling team
• World Athletics Championships
• seeing our closest friends in Australia

Lowlights

It's been a pretty good year really, I can't actually remember much in the way of lowlights.

Concluding thoughts

I'm going to end this year with the words I spoke in my testimony in October:

I would like to be able to say that I have learned the lesson of trusting God. He has held me and walked with me my whole life and yet still I struggle to trust him completely. What I know in my head, I am still learning to lean on in my heart. But regardless of my failure to not worry about my life, Jesus still loves me and I am so grateful for his persistence and daily grace. By God's grace I continue to "say of my Lord, 'He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust'" (Ps. 91:2).

Reflecting on our five weeks in Australia

We're back in Japan. Last night David and I went walking on one of our usual routes—it was great to start getting back into routine. While I get excited about things like retreats and conferences, meeting up with people, and travel, I function better when I have general structure around my life and am settled at home. As we walked and talked, we saw how busy and non-routine the previous weeks had been. Strangely, the longer we stayed in Australia the more chaotic things became!

In the last five weeks we've:

• spent time over multiple meals with 17 family members, not all at once, but did enjoy dinner with 11 members of my family last Friday night,
• had dinner most nights with our hosts (we stayed in four different houses),
• met around half a dozen friends for meals or coffee or walks,
• done medical and optometry stuff,

• 

  You don't know how amazing Australian skies
  are until you have lived outside Australia.

  spoke at an OMF event for people thinking seriously about mission,
• attended an OMF half-day conference in our home state,
• worked remotely (part-time) on things pertaining to our work in Japan (computer work and online meetings),
• spent time at both our home church (in Redbank Plains) and at our son's church, and
• met six dogs and two cats!

I think that's most of it...

One of the dogs we met

But the main reason we went to Australia was to spend time with our two younger sons, who only moved out last year. We had meals with them, watched footy, played video games, made (and ate) cheesecake, went to the movies, (David) took our youngest to a driving test (and he passed!), and even drove a couple of hours to an open evening at a conference one of our sons was attending (university Christian group). Without our own home we had to get a little bit creative at times, but I think it worked and was worth it.

The cheesecake I made with our 
youngest, and we all ate! It's a
family tradition.

The icing on the cake was that our eldest son and his wife were able to fly down from Townsville for our last week (they also were attending a wedding down there). We spent a few days with them at my parents' house. Finally, on our last afternoon in Australia, we got all four "kids" together (believe me, it was quite an effort!). We hung out, ate pizza, and said our farewells. Then the two "locals" (i.e. the ones who live in Brisbane and Ipswich) drove the two couples to where we were each staying the night.

It was a great month and we really appreciated all who went out of their way to host us or feed us or simply talk with us.

In the light of the "changing identity" blog post that I last wrote, I would definitely say life is changing, has changed. And this quite different "holiday" was very much proof of that. 

Back in hot, steamy Tokyo

Now we're trying to get our heads settled back in to Japan, to the work that God still has for us here. Even though some of our hearts have been left back in Australia, that has always been the case, ever since we first came in 2000. So it's not too much different, except that our kids are now living their own lives, instead of being entwined with ours on a daily basis.

Identity: shifting and changing

It's been a great joy to be able to come back to Australia this month and interact with our kids in a different way, to start laying different memories and also to see them coping with day-to-day life as independent adults (one of the long-term goals, in the end, of parenting). Next week we'll also spend a few days with our eldest son and his wife, and we're really looking forward to that too.

Throw back to me in Singapore:
discovering I could do
tourism in a foreign country
on my own.

On Sunday I was talking to someone about these last 12 months and realised that kids leaving home is part of an ever changing journey with our identity. My friend has been a grandma almost as long as I've been a mum and related a story from just the previous week about her journey as a grandma. Her youngest grandchild is 10 and my friend realised that this young lady doesn't need her grandma in the same way as she used to, this realisation made her sad. Her role is changing again. 

My role is changing too, the years of having kids under my roof all the time has gone and it's been time to think again about who am I in this new season.

Change in roles is disorientating. Change of a role as intimate and lengthy as a mother is potentially even more so. I am not only my children's mother, but being a mum 24/7 for so many years (nearly half my life) means that my identity has somewhat become entwined with my kids. I expect that that's similar for anyone who cares for someone long-term. 

Last year I was talking with a single lady in her 60s and blurted out something like, "It's not as if I wasn't a person before I had kids." She thought that was a preposterous statement, but was kind enough not to point out who I was talking to (a non-person, if having kids makes you a person!). But sometimes it does feel that way, because that's how intertwined in your children's lives you become while raising them, even when the relationship is fairly healthy.

While pondering this topic I found this interesting article called "When caring changes or ends". It covers things like the feelings you might have at such a juncture, also reflecting, adjusting to new routines, and being gentle with yourself. Helpful stuff, even if it isn't especially about kids leaving home!

I really didn't expect to still be adjusting to this, more than a year after our children left home, but it seems I am. It's a new season, but not as simple as just turning a page into a new chapter, the stuff that's gone before is not forgotten.

Eight years ago, a year before my first born left home, I wrote this in a blog post:

For a time you may feel as though you've lost touch with who you were. But in the end you'll discover that actually, your old self is being changed into something new. If you're a Christian you can be sure that God will use this experience to make you more like him, if you're willing. (from here)

It's a good reminder that it's just another segment of our journey, I've gone through many changes thus far in my life that have changed me, and there are more to come. I've been changed by the journey and I can embrace that.

Looking back at 2024

For a few years now I've been using this last week of the year to write a blog post that reflects on the year past. In particular, I've been using questions to help me focus my thoughts and keep me honest. I've done the same today.

One of the many beautiful things we saw on our long
road trip in 2024.

The questions and categories I've used are these (in case you'd like to copy and use them yourself):

1. What makes this year unforgettable?

2. What did I enjoy doing this year?

3. What/who is one thing/person I'm grateful for?

4. What did I read/watch/listen to that made the most impact this year?

5. What did I worry about most and how did it turn out?

6. What is my biggest regret?

7. What's something that has changed about me?

8. What surprised me most this year?

9. What Bible truths impacted me this year?

10. What meta-themes have I thought about this year? (in no particular order)

Highlights

Lowlights

Concluding thoughts.

1. What makes this year unforgettable?

Ah, so many things. I've just written our monthly prayer/newsletter and spent some space looking back at the many amazing things that happened in 2024. Here's a short list:

• Our youngest two sons moved out, leaving us without any children under our roof for the first time in almost 25 years.
• We took two months long service leave (an Australia institution that rewards long service with extended paid leave).
• We spent two months driving around south-east Australia in a motorhome, including a month in Tasmania
• Major changes for all our kids. Our youngest son started university. After a lengthy period of unemployment our middle son got his first job, a licence, and a car. Our eldest son (within a single month) moved 1,400 km north, took up a carpentry apprenticeship, and got engaged. Now we're contemplating a new daughter-in-law joining the family in the next fortnight.
• After 12 months away we moved back to Japan and into a new apartment, completing a downsize that's been ongoing for a few years. 
• Living for the first time in Japan with no children.
• I had a bad run with a tooth abscess that was misdiagnosed during our sojourn south (and repeatedly in the following months) which ended with dental surgery, and now have one less tooth than I started the year with, as well as my first fake body part in the form of a one-tooth denture. 

2. What did I enjoy doing this year?

• Our motorhome trip was definitely the biggest joy. We've never done such a massive journey (time-wise, this was only 500km shorter than our 16-day trip to Uluru in 2012, but obviously much longer at 58 days).
• There were many things tucked into that motorhome journey that were wonderful, like visiting the MCG for a day (large sports stadium in Melbourne where we did a tour, then enjoyed two museums) and the Bradman museum. Going to "end of the road" type places in Tasmania: e.g. most southerly point and to the north-eastern tip.
• I've enjoyed being just a couple again, setting up our new apartment together in July and August was satisfying.
• I did a one-night two-day retreat with close friends in February.
• Going on an unusual date to watch wheelchair rugby between our two countries.
• Helping run a wrestling tournament at CAJ also fits on this list!

...and yes, there's lots of sport there!

3. What/who is one thing/person I'm grateful for?

• As usual: my husband, but also that God allowed us to come back to Japan rather than a much more dramatic change of direction. 
• And my closest friends: how would I do life without them?

4. What did I read/watch/listen to that made the most impact this year?

• A Call to Spiritual Reformation: Priorities from Paul and His Prayers, D.A. Carson
• Awe: Why it Matters for Everything We Think, Say, and Do by David Paul Tripp
• Bullies and Saints, John Dickson
• The Meaning of Marriage, Timothy Keller with Kathy Keller
• Continued to enjoy Undeceptions podcast.
• I also enjoyed Storytellers: Questions, Answers and the Craft of Journalism by Leigh Sales.

5. What did I worry about most and how did it turn out?

• Despite writing this (in my first blog post this year): "I think that giving up worrying is a worthy goal, not just for 2024, but for the rest of my life. I'm certain that I will fail again and again, but with God's help I surely can improve on what I've done up till now!" I worried about whether 2024 would be a major turn in the road for us. That is, whether we'd return to Japan and how our kids would cope without us nearby. Well it's turned out much better than I expected.

6. What is my biggest regret?

• I can't think of one, except for the first lowlight below: that our long trip was marred by my illness, which of course wasn't my fault, but I wish it hadn't happened.

7. What's something that has changed about me?

• I think I'm trusting God more. It's been a long, hard road of learning that is by no means over, but I think I've made progress.

8. What surprised me most this year?

• A new (almost) daughter-in-law. I've had a quarter of a century of being a mum to boys, adding a girl to the family has been a pleasant surprise. And though we are far apart and have only met three times, I have been excited to get to know her a bit and start to forge a relationship with her that is unlike anything I've experienced before.

9. What Bible truths impacted me this year?

• It's hard to remember anything especially. But here are some Bible verses that I included on my blog through the year:
• Luke 12:23–26 (the folly of worry)
• Numbers 13 & 14 (story of 12 Israelite spies)
• Isaiah 55:8–9 (my thoughts are not yours declares the Lord)
• Psalm 91:2 (the Lord is my refuge and my fortress)
• Deuteronomy 31:8 (the Lord goes before you, he will not leave or forsake you)
• 2 Corinthians 4:18 (fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen–that is eternal)
• Psalm 145:4 (you are called to make the invisible glory of God visible)
• Various prayers of Paul (for example, see Ephesians 3, Colossians 1)

10. What meta-themes have I thought about this year? (in no particular order)

• Trusting God
• Letting go makes room for growth and new opportunities
• Downsizing
• Is "feeling useful" a good thing?
• What kind of mother-in-law do I want to be?
• Stepping back from my adult kids means I enable them to grow.
• Retirement planning!
• Belonging
• Who am I apart from my children?
• Aging
• Accepting again that I am who God made me to be: weaknesses included

Highlights

• Obviously our long service leave trip in a motorhome.
• Seeing our sons grow in character and skill, living independently, and making adult-level decisions.
• Retreat with close friends.
• Moving into our new apartment in Tokyo.
• Attending live sporting events: cricket, wheelchair rugby, wrestling.
• Many times with friends on both sides of the ocean.
• Finishing a long-term cross-stitch project.
• Successfully blogging my way through our two-month road trip.

Lowlights

• Our motorhome journey was marred by my battle with a misdiagnosed tooth abscess. Easter weekend was particularly low in that regard.
• As usual, goodbyes and an international move were hard, and saying goodbye to all our kids this time was extra difficult, but the flipside of that is (the second) highlight I've already mentioned.

Concluding thoughts

I'm really glad that 2024 is over. The past two years have been a lot of hard work and exhausting. I still feel the shadow of the exhaustion from it all. But I'm also glad for all the things we were able to achieve during the last two years, by God's grace! My next blog post is about looking forward to 2025...so I won't go there now.

I'm going to finish this year of blogging with a favourite Bible passage of mine, one I like to pray when I don't know what else to pray for someone. For sure God has done more than we could imagine in 2024!

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. (Ephesians 3:16–21 NIV)

Christmas week

My husband, David, finished school two weeks ago for the Christmas-New Year holidays and since then life has slowed down a bit. We’ve been sleeping in and having more down-time than usual. For many years this is when we would go for a week away in the mountains with our family. This year, with no kids here, we decided not to do that, to instead make new memories. However then our eldest son got engaged and announced the wedding would be January 11, which for us means a trip back to Australia. So we decided to stay home during the days before Christmas: a decision that favours the budget as well as energy-conservation.

Christmas Day was a very quiet day: the quietest Christmas celebration we’ve ever had. The only other time we’ve celebrated that day without parents or kids was a crazy busy day in Indonesia on a short-term missions trip in 1993. (Noting that when we’re in Australia we often have two Christmas celebrations, one with each side of the family, and often not on the day itself.)

David “puzzling” next to the tree.

So what did we do? We chatted with family, ate Christmassy foods, participated in an online Christmas worship service, finished a jigsaw puzzle we’d been working on, played a game of Scrabble, exchanged a couple of gifts, and went for a mid-afternoon walk. We also watched a Christmas concert and then a Christmas movie. A quiet, but happy day.

A strangely fitting day for 2024—a year that has been full of many new and different things, along with big changes. But I won’t jump into a year-end reflection yet (that’s for next week).

We did invite a number of people to join us for Christmas dinner, but for various reasons none were able to come. The sentiment around Christmas is so family-orientated and so “going home” orientated. It’s strange to not do either. But we have been doing Christmas away from our birth families for a long time now. We are very used to a quiet time at home (though it never was that quiet for most of the years we had with three young boys). We're used to celebrating at home and connecting with our Australian family via video calls (or phone in the early days). So, though it was odd, it was not so bad as in those early years. Plus, fast forwarding to the days after Christmas: we had plenty of social interaction with close friends planned for the days following Christmas.

It’s probably more noteworthy that our two youngest sons had their first Christmas without us ever yesterday. They spent the day with my extended family and we were able to have a little bit of time with them via video too.

Twelve years ago I wrote on my blog that I’d had conversations with friends who had much older kids than mine and who wouldn’t see their children for Christmas. In that blog post I wrote about my first ever Christmas away from my birth family (good story, ended with a very late Christmas dinner of a whole fish, including eyes). I doubt my sons had as strange a day as that, but I’m sure it felt a little weird. I was reminded of that today when I spent time checking in with the short-term worker who I’m supervising. Christmas was also weird for her, being away from family, but thankfully she was able to experience the power of belonging to and celebrating with other believers.

This year has been full of change and new experiences for us, but (almost) all of this has been good change. So many Christmas songs are focused on family, they tap into the good feelings of belonging and earthly family. But both of these elements of life are subject to change and also to faults. Being away from family can give you the distance to remember more easily that as a Christian the most important thing in life is that we belong to the God’s family. Though that can be difficult here on earth, is also something that is foundational and though the members we physically live life with change (sometimes daily) the head of the family does not.

I started this blog post without any idea where it would end (as I often do), but I think I’ve found the end! May God bless you this Christmas week, with a greater joy of belonging than you’ve known before.

Briefly reflecting on home assignment

Now it's over a month since we left Australia and officially we aren’t on home assignment anymore, so I want to put some brief thoughts down about how the year went. It’s not an uncommon question from people as we meet them again here. And depending on the context and time available, our replies vary in depth.

The street we called home for 12 months.

We had a good rest, ate good food, read a lot of books. We spent valuable time with family and friends and have so many precious memories.

It was a time of achieving some big audacious goals, particularly with our sons. And as we worked through achieving those goals there was a lot of work to actively seek God and trust him while we didn't know the outcomes of what we'd set out to achieve. I'm very thankful that we've been in a position to spend a year walking alongside our sons in their passport country as we all make this transition, and be paid to be there without changing who we work for. Not too many people who work outside their passport country could. (That's awkward writing...I hope you get my drift.)

It's the first time we've done home assignment without our kids being in school (in October I wrote about how this HA was different in several ways to any one we've done before). It gave us much more freedom, but was also very weird not having that as a daily routine marker. In the past school terms is something that shaped when we did things, like visit our more distant family, so with so much choice, decision making was a little more difficult!

In February, almost six months ago, we entered the so called "empty nesting" years. That was not without challenge, but we also had a few "dry runs" earlier as we left our sons alone at home for weeks at a time. It was a significant achievement, given the rental situation in Australia right now, our income, the needs of our sons, and the specific dynamics in our family. In many ways doing this is counter cultural—many of our urban peers in Australia have their young adult children living with them well after high school. It is not counter cultural to most of our peers in the cross-cultural community, nor to those who live in rural areas of Australia (our family backgrounds). But these are supposed to be brief thoughts...I could probably write a whole blog post on this topic, so I'll move on.

We travelled a lot, I daren't even try to add up how many kilometres. Only two aeroplane trips (nearly four, but the trip to Melbourne just before we left didn't happen), but those were big flights: six hours to Perth on the other side of the continent. We drove, I think, ten different vehicles during the year, so an odometer reading won't help either. Long service leave (motorhome trip to Tasmania) was awesome, but if you've been reading my blog this year you've probably already read A LOT about that.

We had fewer churches to visit because various churches we used to have a relationship with either no longer exist, or no longer support us. It was a bit weird, but also nice, to not be in so many different churches (although long service leave took us away from our home church for an extended period). So overall we probably did less public speaking than we've done in the past. We did a couple of camps this time, as guest missionaries, which was fun, and exhausting.

It was good to be in Australia for many reasons, but no, it isn’t 100% home anymore. We missed Japan, although not with the intensity that we missed Australia in our first years in Japan. You might be interested to know that we ate relatively little Japanese food when we were in Australia.

We’re continuing to learn that home is the people. It’s where there are people we love and that is in both Australia and Japan. On both sides of the ocean we've had people "welcome us home". That statement is just too shallow to do this subject justice in any way.

It was good to step away from the intensity of our jobs here in Japan, we now come back to them with slightly different, and hopefully better, perspectives.

Just a few thoughts. It's good, in many ways, to be back in Japan. But it also feels like we've gone through the whole transition into "empty nesting" a second time! However, that's for another blog post.

Reflecting on our two month motorhome journey

This travel series isn't complete without some reflecting (I love to reflect!) and some statistics. I've been writing this for the last two weeks and it just keeps getting longer, so I need to stop and publish this! What follows is a little random, but hang with me and you might find out something interesting.

We travelled for over eights weeks. And it was a long way: 7,479 km! It's hard to find a good comparison for that. It's further than if we'd driven either the east or west coast of the US from top to bottom and back again. It's hard to give a European example, but if you start at the far west (Lisbon, Portugal) and drive east, you have still only driven just over 4,000 km when you enter Middle Eastern countries! It's also the distance as the crow flies between Brisbane, Australia and Tokyo. The larger distances were on the mainland. In Tasmania, I think our longest drive was the first day, when we drove nearly 300 km from Devonport to Lake St Claire, via the Cradle Mountain Visitor Centre.

We spent time in four states and one territory. The only ones we missed were Western Australia, South Australia, and the Northern Territory! 

This is a closer look at the mainland
portions of our travel. I shared a 
similar image for my reflections
about the Tasmanian portion of our
journey on my Tasmanian reflections
blog post.

We slept in 37 locations, including two separate nights on the ferry. A little more than half (19) of those were in Tasmania. We spent 8 nights out of the 58 out of the van (two nights on the ferry, three nights with family/friends, one night in a motel when I was sick, and two nights at a conference). 

We're so thankful we had no breakdowns or accidents. Driving a borrowed vehicle is always concerning. We were covered by my parents insurance, but happy not to have to call upon it. The possibility of accidents is the underlying anxiety for me on long road trips. I have to work hard not to imagine worst case scenarios. It was a relief to get home again unscathed.

Climate. I wrote about Tasmania's climate in April here. But regarding our whole trip, I was amazed at how fast we could change from one zone to another. We left Queensland in shorts and t-shirts, but on the first night, six hours south of Ipswich, we found ourselves pulling out warmer gear as we camped on the Northern Tablelands of NSW.

Our favourite places to camp were the less crowded and the ones that were less well-known. I'm glad we were in Tasmania during a "shoulder" season. Even though two of the weeks we were there were school holidays, most of the places we visited weren't overly busy. 

Montagu, Grants Lagoon, and Dora's Point would be among our favourites (all Tasmania) even though none of these had showers. Most caravan parks were in good shape (David's the underlying factor here, he booked the caravan parks and checked reviews before he did). It's hard to choose a favourite caravan park, though Tomakin was very good (south coast of NSW near Batemans Bay). Lake St Claire and Mount Field National Park were also good. Wagga Wagga free camp was the most crowded and most uncomfortable we felt. 

The campsite on a farm near Dalgety (in the Snowy Mountains) was possibly the most quirky place, with a flushing toilet all on its own up on a hill, but without electric or showers, also, almost no trees. I think was the only place we stayed that was private property, basically a farm stay, and we had very chatty hosts, it was a pity that I felt so terrible at the time.

We shopped small and often. So different to how we have operated for many years (we've had teenage boys in our home for over 13 years). This trip also came hard on the tail of our household halving in size. We had a small fridge and little storage space and limited kitchen equipment. It was a good challenge to think about how to buy food and feed just two of us with limited space. (Though the motorhome actually had more bench space than many Japanese kitchens do!) We had to figure out how to buy small sized items. For example, mini tortillas ended up being the go-to for lunches, as opposed to bread, which was too large to store.

We managed surprisingly well with limited privacy or personal space. We're still very good friends!

I wondered how I would manage, using shared bathrooms and toilets for the whole journey because I'm a bit particular about cleanliness. It wasn't too bad most of the time, though there were times that I wished I was post-menopause (sorry if this is TMI). I can't deny it's been wonderful to be home and have our own bathroom and toilet.

I rediscoverd my love of paper maps. We bought a road map of Tasmania for $5 on the boat on the way over and were so glad so many times that we had it (especially when there was not internet connection). I’ve practically worn that one out: it’s been folded multiple times the “wrong” way, just so we could see the little bit of Tassie we were in at the time. Some of the folds have torn now, but it was a welcome tool on the trip that we used almost every day.

I came home with an even greater appreciation of my own toilet and shower, water on tap, a laundry and kitchen, a fluffy towel, and WiFi! And smaller things like being able to leave my toothbrush out (not packed away). 

A motorhome is very convenient, though. Most everything you use regularly is practically within reach all the time! Of course smaller motorhomes aren’t so convenient, for example, having to pack up the table to make a bed, or lift up the bed to get to the storage underneath it. Ours felt just the right size for the two of us. I was particularly appreciative of the always available bed, especially when I was unwell.

Here's phrase that I've pondered: "romance of the open road". What is it that makes people desire to get away in caravans and motorhomes, or to do long "road trips"? The cynical me says its running away from responsibilities, but I think I'll leave that thought aside and focus on reflections here. It is a little "weirdness" about a big country like Australia that we have this thing of loving to drive long distances. In fact it's the best way to see our large land. But it's gotten a little crazy here in Australia as our Baby Boomers have hit retirement age and many have hit the road!

David says I must include a link to a fun video by an Australian comedian about people who have done "the lap" (driven all the way around Australia in a caravan or motorhome): https://www.facebook.com/reel/292003200631967 (I can't find a Youtube link). I don't think we are this inarticulate about our journey, so please don't hesitate to ask :D. We've got a few good stories.

Sickness while travelling isn’t fun. It was quite difficult and distressing, actually. I'm thankful we didn’t end up having to make major changes to our journey, though that was on the cards and caused some of my anxiety and stress. It was difficult to get a diagnosis and treatment amidst the travel and public holidays and I was surprised that areas I didn't think were remote, were actually, at least in a medical sense. I still have some lingering discomfort, which concerns me, but hopefully that will go away with time (tests done last week don't show any cause for this discomfort). I'm thankful for the online medical services that have popped up in the last few years that made getting access to medical help a bit easier (but not as good as being at home with your own GP who could assess you and follow up).* 

WiFi matters. If you're going to write a travel blog it matters more. So does taking time to write along the journey. I sometimes got that right, but was often foiled by a lack of WiFi, and even at one location, by a lack of any kind of internet at all (our phones said "SOS only" in the place that usually tells you how many bars you have).

My travel diary/scrapbook

Travelling is tiring (which I really knew…) and time consuming. We took quite a few non-electronic things to keep us occupied as we could hardly imagine two months of holidays. We enjoyed puzzle magazines and Scrabble. Some of the other small games too, that we took. I started a new hobby, Wool Felting, but struggled without the internet to guide me on the intro video. I also took my “big” camera, but hardly used it, it was easier just to pull our my phone. We didn’t touch the colouring books we took. Of course blogging took up a lot of time and the other project I did was a scrapbook journal. Not to mention books (I read more than a dozen, plus we listened to three audiobooks while driving). These were all good ideas and we never were bored. But we had less free time than what I’d feared (and yes, I hate being bored). Being sick for a couple of weeks decreased my energy levels for extra curricular activities. And the cold meant we often went to bed early and got up latish: bed was the warmest place and it was easy to read there.

One of the big things we learned was about being more spontaneous and adaptable. Parenting with our particular family dynamics (see here for more on that) has meant we've spent many years learning to plan ahead. We're pretty good at it now, but what we're not good at is spontaneity. After practicing something for over 20 years you don't unlearn it quickly! ....

A friend following our journey has surmised that I like travelling, but I think I like the idea more than the reality. I'm a bit of a home girl deep down. However this trip had so many fun things about it (and not too much staying in other people's homes) that it was hard not to enjoy much of it, even if I was longing at times for home. In reality we've been in transition since early last year, I'm a bit tired of it all. I know we're going to have to pack up and leave our current place in under two months and I'm longing to get to a more permanent "home" in Tokyo and stop there (I hope) for longer than a year (at least have that as our home base for longer, that's not to say that we won't travel).

But I'm so thankful for this break. It's been great to get away from all the usual demands and to just concentrate on travelling and seeing parts of our amazing home country. I think I especially appreciated being anonymous: not having to talk about Japan, or our family, or why we were doing what we were doing (which happens in both Australia and Japan). Some people we talked to last year were concerned about us—that we hadn't had a good holiday for a while, and indeed we barely took any in 2023 at all (at least a go-away-to-relax holiday). This has made up for that, I think. We have so many good memories and are ready to move on to the next thing, mentally at least, I think.

* For Aussies who read this, there are a variety of online medical services available these days to see a GP (probably in part due to COVID-19). I was surprised, but also a little naive. One, Doctors on Demand, was quite expensive. Another is 13SICK and is only open on public holidays and after hours. Literally, they open at 5 pm and shut at 8  am. That was "bulk billed" but even after contacting them literally at 5 pm to get in their virtual line, I waited hours for them to call me back. And if they order a test, they won't talk to you about the results, you have to go to your "ordinary" doctor.

Looking ahead to 2024

Image by Gordon Johnson from Pixabay

It is my habit at the start of January to look ahead to the next 12 months in my first blog post of the year. Of course I can't predict what will happen or how it will turn out! And what better reminder of that uncertainty when we watch Japan live through more disasters only hours after we've wished everyone a "happy new year"!

Despite that, it's useful to both look ahead and also look back. 

One example of how this reflecting and anticipating can help is that when I look back at this time last year I remember that 2023 looked like a lot of hard work. Plus there were lots of things that we really didn't know how we were going to achieve and I felt anxious about. But now that the year is over I realise that we did make it through all of that, with God's help. Yes it was hard, but also there were good surprises along the way (like the house we're living in and the furniture we're using) and many of the disasters that I imagined never occurred. With this in mind I can approach 2024 knowing that, though there's hard work ahead and some things that seem impossible, time next year I'll hopefully be able to look back and have the same realisation: that God's walked with us through it all and provided all that we've needed.

We see it in the Bible too: God encouraged the Israelites to look back at what he'd done for them in the past and to trust that he'll work again on their behalf in the future. This is stated very clearly in Deuteronomy 7:

You may say to yourselves, ‘These nations are stronger than we are. How can we drive them out?’ But do not be afraid of them; remember well what the Lord your God did to Pharaoh and to all Egypt. You saw with your own eyes the great trials, the signs and wonders, the mighty hand and outstretched arm, with which the Lord your God brought you out. The Lord your God will do the same to all the peoples you now fear. (vv. 17–19 NIV)

It's also a theme in the New Testament. Jesus told his disciples in the Last Supper to remember him by doing this (which is where the Lord's Supper we celebrate in churches today comes from). In the book of Hebrews we're encouraged to persevere in the faith, backed up by a lengthy list of those who have gone before us (who didn't even know the story of Jesus). 

So remembering the past can help us as we face the future. Given what I reflected on last week in my end of year blog post, I certainly will be trying to be more serious about not worrying.

I noticed a small thing in this passage I was listening to the other day:

Then Jesus said to his disciples: ‘Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: they do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?' (Luke 12:23–26 NIV UK)

We think that by worrying we can extend our lives (or the lives of others), but that's obviously not God's perspective. From his perspective adding an hour to our lives is a "very little thing". The difference between us and God is so huge and he understands that better than we do! So, since I can't even do this very little thing, I think that giving up worrying is a worthy goal, not just for 2024, but for the rest of my life. I'm certain that I will fail again and again, but with God's help I surely can improve on what I've done up till now!

Coming months

The coming couple of months probably includes us moving into the era of couple-dom again. I'm actively avoiding the usual term for this stage. We'll be parents of independently living adults, which is what we've been working towards for the last 24 years!

 It's a stage that is worth acknowledging, but also a stage that is full of so much potential and not just "emptiness". But obviously a huge change from living with our guys and interacting with them on a daily basis, so it will be an adjustment that will take some time.

Our hope and plan is to return to Japan in July to the roles we had there last year (or approximately those roles, some changes will hopefully come to pass). Before then we have some travel planned in Australia, including a big trip to take advantage of Australia's amazing long-service provision (paid leave to reward a long period of service with the same organisation). You will hear plenty about that as I hope to write an online diary of our travels like I have for our long camping journeys in the past.

As for what happens after July? When we get back to Japan we plan to move into a small apartment near the school in western Tokyo. Yes, we've already seen this apartment (first time we've seen a future place of accommodation in person since 2005)! And we are looking forward to having fun exploring all sorts of new possibilities that being a couple provides. We first arrived in Japan in 2000 with a 20-month old and have done our entire missionary journey overseas with children in our care, so this is indeed a very new chapter.

It's another year that involves a long, multi-stage international move, though it's always physically easier moving out of Australia because we haven't been here so long and have less stuff. Much of the larger items we use go back to owners or find new owners. We haven't moved into a new house in Japan in 14 years, though, so that will be different, but moving without little children is definitely easier (even if we'll be missing the strength of our young adult sons).

Sadly it's another year that involves many goodbyes. But there are also many who we're looking forward to seeing again in Japan. It's never easy emotionally for me to move, and saying goodbye to Australia is an act of the will, rather than an overly eager spirit.

Many things I did in 2023 I will continue to do in 2024. This was my list from 12 months ago:

• regularly walk with my husband (I averaged about 2.5 km a day last year)
• study Japanese
• read lots of books
• listen to English sermons at least once a week
• stay in touch with close friends regularly, and when I can, in person
• bake
• writing

Much of this remains true of my intentions for 2024, I don't have as much time alone in Australia, so I listen to less podcasts and sermons (and get an English sermon in person most Sundays). I don't have a current writing project or specific writing goal for 2024, though have submitted an application to be part of a writing team for the year . . . I haven't heard back on that yet, so we'll see. I've got vague prof. dev. reading goals while I'm in Australia, but again will try to read 100 books in the year (mostly fiction for relaxation, I read fast and rely on books to help me relax before sleeping). I mentioned 12 months ago that I'd picked up cross-stitch again, and I'm still working on that, but it's a complex design and I'm finding it slow going.

That's enough. I look ahead to 2024 with this:

I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.’ (Psalm 91:2 NIV)