Unexpected joy

I had a fun day yesterday. The backdrop was autumn colour and the amazing network of people that life in missionary circles brings you. Add a layer to that: a long car trip within Tokyo made interesting by a couple of well-researched and presented podcasts. Then, later, another sound track: that of a gym full of wrestlers training and conversations with spectators. Even later, the sound of two video calls: one with a son and the other with church members from various countries sharing with one another at a prayer meeting.

Over lunch, at a cafe about 30 km away, I met up with some old friends and some new, all from the US, though almost all had spent lots of time outside that country. Conversation was wide and varied—tea and scones, life in Japan, education of deaf kids in the US (which I was appalled to hear is dreadfully lacking), Deaflympics, Costa Rica, ministry to at-risk women, and how God lead two of those present into their current ministry to missionary families with kids that have special needs. Oh, and we talked about wrestling too!

Most of those present have a child with a disability. Three of those present have a child who is a wrestler.

One family, friends of friends, was in Japan for the Deaflympics with their son who is a pretty talented wrestler, in both GrecoRoman and Freestyle (our boys only did the latter, but the former is also an Olympic sport, and basically is wrestling that only allows you to touch, or use, the upper body). I knew that these people were in town and had earlier hatched a plan to see if we couldn't connect up this young man with the CAJ wrestling team, who are currently training for the first meet of the season. It was a bit of a mad scheme that actually came off and yesterday afternoon I was also able to welcome them to CAJ and the wrestling team.

I ended up sticking around at training for a couple of hours, talking with those who were on the side, and just absorbing the wrestling vibes—remembering the faces we got to know in January and February this year when we hung out with the team for several days. Yes, it is this season again and, our part-time hobby (how else can I describe it?) is digging its claws into us again. On the first Saturday of December I'm helping David run the tournament that CAJ holds each year and we have also been asked to help out with chaperoning the girls team to an away tournament at the end of January (I'm sure I'll have more to share on that closer to the time).

But I had yet another unexpected surprise yesterday: I went looking for crutches for an injured wrestler and was surprised to discover a basketball coach who is Australian and a trained physio. So cool to find just the help we needed on campus already (and an Aussie at that!).

One of my delights is making connections between people who otherwise never would have met. I am not a matchmaker of the Anne of Green Gables sort, but I do love a good introduction that leads to a new friendship or partnership between those who are introduced.

Our day ended as most of our Wednesdays have done in recent months: with a video chat with one of our sons over dinner, followed by an online prayer meeting with more than a dozen people from our church in Japan. It was a bit of a hectic day, but when my head finally hit the pillow, I was full of joy at what God had brought my way.

A week in the life of Wendy

I'm glad to say that I'm feeling much better. Which is good, because I've had plenty going on. Here are the more interesting bits: 

Friday gathering

On Friday I went to a prayer gathering in a Chinese friend's home. It's a gathering of expat and Japanese mums who have kids with special needs. Our kids range in age from 6 to 36, but it doesn't matter. These ladies understand the unique challenges of being mums to kids who don't match the norms of their peers and who have extra challenges to overcome. We shared, and cried, and prayed, and talked. We only gather six times a year, and it's always special. It was great to be back in person with them, in Australia I joined via Zoom a couple of times, but that was difficult. 

One of the questions that they each carry with them is what will the future look like for my child. It was great to be able to share some of the big successes we've had with our sons over the last year. One of the mums reminded me that last time I was with them in person I was a mess, it was the week we moved out of our old house. I was stressed and tired and was facing a lot of unknowns in the months ahead. I'm in a much better place now and we were able to praise God together.

After I got home I did some quick email checks and then hopped on my bike to get groceries for the weekend.

Saturday fun

Preparing our house for guests. A table cloth
on a folding table makes all the difference!

Saturday morning I hosted an online magazine team meeting with the express purpose of having fun together. It was the first of four meetings we're having this month as part of our annual planning process. And it was fun! I love the energy of these colleagues.

Saturday afternoon was also fun. This year there are four families from our mission living in our little city (12.88 square km). We invited them all over for afternoon tea and games. If everyone had been able to come there would have been 15 in our little place, but we ended up with only 11. And it worked! I feel like our place is a character in our lives and we're just working out how it best works for different scenarios (the previous week we hosted dinner for a family). I'm excited. This is tapping into the extrovert side of me that has been a little repressed in the latter years of our boys years at high school (and the pandemic, of course, had an impact).

Sunday

Church in the morning and video chats and games with our sons in the afternoon. It was a full, but good day.

Mammoth Monday

Monday turned into a 12 hr work day for me. I left in a car full of male colleagues at 7.30 am, we travelled to the other side of Tokyo for the monthly OMF Kanto prayer and fellowship day. All these guys are married, but none of their wives could come (and David had to work at school too). These are the same families we spent Saturday afternoon with.

It took over an hour to get there, and then there was lots of chatting and catching up with people before the meeting began at 10 am. The acoustics in this room are pretty bad which means that when a large group gathers and everyone is mingling, it's really loud. I didn't count, but I'm guessing that there were probably around 50 people there. We had to shout to make ourselves heard!

It was a good time of worship, pondering God's word, sharing, and praying for one another. After the meeting we stayed and ate lunch (again loud). Not long before 2 I left with a good friend to have coffee somewhere else that was much quieter. We spent about two hours together. It's the first time I've seen her in over 12 months, and though we've kept in really regular texting contact, it was wonderful to have the time to sit in person and ask the questions that don't get asked or answered otherwise.

Then I jumped on a train and headed home (the car that came from our city had long left). Four trains later and a 10 minutes walk, I got home around 5.30. David had dinner organised and we ate. At 6.30 we jumped into a Zoom meeting with a group in Australia who pray each month for Japan. We spent the next 45 minutes talking about what we do and answering questions. By around 7.15 I was fading and pleaded for mercy. They prayed and we logged off around 7.30.

Tuesday desk day

It took me some time to get going the next day after waking with a headache and general fatigue lingering from the day before. I did email and other desk work in the morning. After lunch I dashed out for some much needed grocery shopping and then had a two-hour meeting with the OMF Japan social media team. I love their enthusiasm and "youth", so helpful in this particular ministry! After the meeting I dashed off a few more emails pertaining to things we'd discussed or decided in the meeting.

Wednesday more desk work and an outing

I spent Wednesday morning and late afternoon at my desk, but after lunch I did some light cleaning (it takes 15 minutes to vacuum my little apartment) and then took the car to pick up the same friend I had coffee with on Monday. She was on our side of town meeting with other missionaries, and really wanted to see our new place. So I fetched her and we spent another 45 minutes together before she had to head home. So lovely to have friends in our place, especially when they're so pleased with how it looks!

Thursday

This is another desk day. No meetings or shopping. My only outing today will be walking after dinner. I enjoy these quiet home days in the midst of other busy days. It gives me a chance to get some momentum on various work that requires good thinking. I'll also take time over lunch to listen to a church service from home, my long-time habit to help with my nurturing my own faith because I regrettably (still) get little out of a Japanese-language service on Sunday.

It's been a good week. I'm still gathering threads of life after being away for 12 months. It's a significant period and stuff has happened in that time. But in general I'm getting into a good rhythm. Each week looks different. None of the above happen on a weekly basis (except Sunday)! Some weeks are busier than others. Home assignment often felt like we were treading water waiting for things to happen. I'm glad to be back here doing the things...and now I don't know how to describe it. We spent a year in Australia talking about what we're currently doing. It's good to be doing them now, not just talking and thinking about them?

Moving our sons out (part one)

We're getting close to being able to tell you the "end of the story", the end that we've been working towards and praying about for many months. The story of how both of our boys move out of home. Here's part one.

Last Friday our 18 y.o. moved out into a house near his university that he will share with two other students (24 km from where we're living). The house was found through a real estate agent that goes to our eldest son's church. One of his housemates also goes to that church and so does our 18 y.o. son now! We're thankful that they did most of the work finding the place, sorting out paperwork, and finding a third housemate.

We did the move the cheap way using our car and a borrowed trailer, so it took longer than if we'd hired a big van. But it wasn't a simple move from one place to the other. We picked up stuff like a washing machine and microwave from several places close to his new house as well as a bed and bookshelf from the far east of Brisbane (nearly 50 km from our house). We got home for the final time at 10pm on Friday night after driving around all day. Then we hopped back in the car on Saturday morning and picked up another item, then (because he doesn’t have a licence yet) picked our son up to take him to the optometrist because his glasses frames had started to break the day before. On our way back to his place we picked up one final thing: a two-seater sofa. When we finally got home on Saturday at 3pm we were very tired, but also very satisfied.

Saturday was a very different day to
the rain we encountered on Friday.

Everything seemed to take twice or three times as long as it looked like it should on paper. We encountered heavy rain, bad traffic, an ATM that wouldn't give me a $80 (no $10 in the machine, presumably), a Saturday morning market, parking difficulties, communication delays, and bad directions from Google maps. We forgot things and had to go back again, had to buy a new tarp, and had to take detours to get food.

Along the way we met an Ecuadorian who hasn't seen her family for over five years, a Belgian who has a new baby and is returning "home" via New Zealand, and a lady who works for the RSL (Returned Services League) and is committed to not continue contributing to landfill by helping her adult kids pass on their unneeded stuff. We met people who stood by our sides 24 years ago as we left Australia the first time. And more recent acquaintances who, in 2022, housed members of our family three times (including one emergency stay when a plane got cancelled), picked us up from the airport that same year when it took us 35 hrs to get from Japan to here (usually it's an 8 hr flight), and drove two of us to the Gold Coast to catch our flight back to Japan. We had things thrust into our hands and left on the front step that would help our son set up his new place with his two new housemates. What a wonderful confluence!

It was quite a process, but we felt satisfied at the end. Not only had we achieved a major goal (raising our son to the point where he could live independently from us) but we were able to physically help him move out. So many times in the last 25 years we've been unable to help our loved ones by being physically present. 

We've missed many significant family celebrations, including our eldest son's 21st. And have never helped our parents, sons, or siblings move house. We’ve even missed moving into our own house several times (when we’ve asked people to help set up our newly rented house before we arrived back in the country, so that we could settle the boys into school as quickly as possible). It was a joy to be able to help this time. It was fun to scour second hand shops and Facebook Marketplace, and to make lists of household products to add to my grocery list, all of this to help him get started in this new life.

But I can't finish this post without telling of how we're praising God for his great provision. Queensland has been experiencing a housing shortage for some time now, and people have been very fond of telling us how hard it is to find places to rent (which hasn't been very encouraging). But God's purposes for us haven't been thwarted. At least that's how it looks from our perspective. In order for us to continue to serve God in Japan, we needed him to find places for our sons to move to, and it's happening! 

We've been praying about this for years and many others have been praying in recent months. At our church on Sunday the worship leader reminded the church they've been praying for our sons' accommodation for eight months! So we're praising God for his provision and his ongoing leading. Of course he could have led us out of ministry in Japan and that would have been hard, but hopefully we would have been able to praise him for that too.

We've been watching a season of The Chosen recently and one of Jesus's disciples said, after witnessing a miracle, "I don't know why I continue to be surprised." This is how I feel. And I feel chastened regarding my lack of faith and trust in God. But also just thankful for God's provision.

Psalm 68:19 Praise be to the Lord, to God our Saviour, who daily bears our burdens. (NIV)

Part 2 is planned for next week. It will look different, but you’ll have to wait to hear that story!

Trying to keep my eyes off the problem

Our daily prayers are full of "please God, we need certain things to be in place so that we can do what we perceive you want to us to do, but we're struggling to trust that you're going to come through on this. Please help us to trust, and forgive us for our lack of faith." 

Trusting God for our future is the overwhelming challenge I've got right now, and if you've been reading my blog you'll know that that tussle has been going on for some time. In fact I hesitate to write about it again, because it feels like I'm just a clanging gong, with only one topic.

I know that he's in control and that he loves me and will work out his purposes, that he will never leave us and that whatever happens is will work out for our good and his glory, but I struggle to stay in that posture of trust.

Prayer

Which brings me to the topic of prayer. The ladies at our home church (Grace Christian Church Redbank Plains) have started working through a book called A Praying Life: Connecting with God in a Distracting World by Paul E. Miller. Someone lent me the book late last year and with all the free time I've had, I've managed to read it all before we began discussing it. Last week's gathering, though, made me uncomfortably aware that my experience of prayer and those of many Australian Christians, is vastly different. I'm not boasting here, in fact I hesitate to write about my prayer life because Jesus told us to be quiet about our prayers (Luke 18:9–14; Matthew 6:5–6). My purpose here is just to show you what being a missionary with a Christian missionary organisation can be like.

Prayer is everywhere in our work. It's part of almost every meeting: large or small. It's not uncommon to be in the middle of a gathering and be asked to "turn to the person next to you and pray about these matters". For a few years I used to attend up to several prayer meetings each month with other parents at school (CAJ).

Additionally, I write a prayer/newsletter each month and are often asked by several different geographical (Japan, Australia, Queensland) branches of our organisation for prayer points. We receive regular prayer letters and prayer documents from those same branches, as well as from several missionaries who we pray for in more detail.

It adds up to a lot and boils down to an overall expectation by our organisation that we'll be personally praying for a lot, including our 120+ colleagues with OMF Japan and 70+ colleagues at CAJ. Not to mention 100+ OMF Australian colleagues. David and I have a system that enables us to pray for a good number of these people (though not everyone every day) and we do this before breakfast most days.

In addition to all the above, I have three friends who I can shoot a quick request: "Please pray, this is happening..., or "Please pray, I feel..." I have a few others who I sometimes will ask for specific prayer. And they do the same to me.

Over the years, steeped in this prayer-full environment, one of my first reactions when something difficult happens, is to ask certain people to pray, to share the burden, even if I can't find the words or energy to pray for myself.

From what I've observed, I don't think the above is the experience is common. It makes me feel amazingly blessed. People sometimes say, I don't know how you do what you do. Well, I would say it's primarily because of all this prayer. Yes, we pray for others, but we also have hundreds of people (potentially) praying for us, many of whom we've never met.

Right now a lot of people are praying for our sons. The prayers for one of them has been answered: he's found a house in a good location and housemates, he's also got a short-term job that will bolster his bank account. But we're waiting on answers for the other son, the one who has had an especially rough road over the last few years. Our hearts ache, but we're being bolstered by many who pray for us. And wait . . . and wait . . . and wait . . . to tell you, and many others, the answers to those prayers.

Like a grasshopper

Image by Marc Pascual from Pixabay

This morning I was reminded of a Bible story that impacted me at a camp in my last year of high school. We spent time looking at Numbers 13 and 14, the story of the 12 Israelite spies that were sent to check out the land that God was taking them to. They came back bearing amazing fruit from the land, but also stories about how impossible it would be for the Israelites to invade the land (which is what they assumed they'd have to do). They emphasised how big and strong those living in the land were. They used this metaphor: "We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them."

Two of the 12 men, Caleb and Joshua, opposed the others, saying that if this was God's plan, he would do it: "The Lord is with us. Do not be afraid of them." They focused on God, not on the problem. So often I focus on the problem!

The story continues with all the Israelites latching onto the bad report and complaining, suggesting it would be better to go back to Egypt (and, one assumes, the captivity that awaited them there). The Bible records an interesting interaction between God and Moses. God complains to Moses about the Israelites, a cites a plan to destroy the whole nation and push on with Moses and his descendants. Moses pushes back and points out that the nations would see what's happened and assume that God couldn't do what he set out to do. He appeals to God's character and asks him to show his strength by forgiving the Israelites. God relents, but his new plan is that none of those 20 or older who were counted in the census earlier on their journey would enter the Promised Land, except Caleb and Joshua, and that it would be 40 more years of wandering in the wilderness.

When Moses reported this to the people, they mourned, said they'd sinned, and decided to go to invade the Promised Land anyway, the very next day. Much like when I was a kid and tried to get out of a punishment after being caught. And yep, they went and got beaten, because God wasn't with them.

It's an extraordinary story. I feel like a grasshopper just now. I did back in year 12 too, when I was facing the end of high school and all the unknowns of the following year. I rather think God prefers that we feel like grasshoppers and so rely on him for strength, rather than our own.

It's a story that shows us how serious God takes grumbling against him. But also shows how a plan won't succeed if it's going against God's plans. For sure there's a lot I don't know about God and his guidance and leading, I'm no expert at all, just a lay person reading my Bible. But also a person seeking to follow God's will. I'm prone to be impatient and to grumble about God's timing, yet I'm also trying to trust God in the midst of it all. Keeping my eyes focused on God instead of the problem is probably the key, just like it was in this story as well as the story of David and Goliath!

Are you facing a giant of a problem right now? How do you keep your eyes off the problem and fixed on God?

Telling stories and being heard

I've had more time to write this week than I've had for some time. It's been lovely. One of the things I've been writing is my regular column about writing for the upcoming Japan Harvest magazine. But the topic is convicting: stories. I'm passionate about telling true stories, but, like many people who write non-fiction, I often fail to use them. Stories often aren't as direct and take up more space. It also takes attention to notice some stories. Others, like my hair-braiding story, told here just are begging to be shared.

So, I feel compelled to write a blog post this afternoon, but am struggling to find a story to share with you, because as an editor so much of the time I'm working with other people's stories and not having experiences that can be told...but it's good to struggle sometimes. Here are some stories from the last couple of weeks that I hope you find encouraging:

Talent Show

On Tuesday evening we went to the school's Senior Talent Show. This has been a tradition for many years, but of course this tradition has been interrupted in the last couple of years. It's a fundraiser put on by the senior class in preparation for their overseas ministry trip in March. It is usually a mixture of fun and serious acts, but there are also a reasonable number of acts that just make the parents and teachers feel old because they are based around current pop culture that we're not familiar with. 

I did enjoy most of the evening, but it did go on a little too long (2 hr 40 min). Or perhaps I'm just getting old and unused to going out in the evening? I have to admit to still feeling a little exhausted by large groups of people.

It was fun to have one extra senior staying at our house that evening because he lives far away, and to chat with our son and his friend the next morning . . . but they're tired. I keep reminding myself that I was the same way at the same age and that it's just for a limited time. This will be all over in less than four months!

The importance of people-focus

Twice in the last few days I've had unexpected conversations with team members. Members of teams I manage. The teams I work with are quite task-focused—we're teams with specific outcome objectives: publishing a magazine and social media posts (for the purpose of mobilising for mission in Japan). So, I'm not sure I do a great job at caring for the people in my teams because I spend a lot of my time taking care of many tasks with deadlines. I often measure how I'm going in my job with how many tasks I've been able to tick off my list. Because both teams work remotely, I often go weeks without talking to any team members directly. We communicate a lot via text, email, and other online tools. 

So, spontaneous opportunities this week to connect (via video calls) with two team members who are struggling in different ways was unusual, but also good. 

I also led an online prayer meeting with about half the magazine team and it was good to not just pray for magazine matters, but to pray for one another and the things that are on our hearts and minds also. I felt heard and I hope they felt heard too.

Being heard

Last week I had another online prayer meeting with some expat mums in (or with a recent connection to) Japan who have kids with special needs—various needs, various ages. I'm new to their group, but I already had met most of the mums in other contexts. I'm starting to feel like these are "my people", and I find myself telling them things that few other people know. 

Recently I've found that what we've dealt with as parents over the last few years in terms of mental health and neurodiversity has meant I've found it harder to connect closely with many people. There is an experiential gap, one that's hard to define. People who don't have an experience with such parenting challenges can find it hard to understand, or simply don't want to, and I feel constrained in what I feel I can share with them. I wrote a bit about this with a great deal of emotion, back in October. There is great power in feeling like you're understood, and that people want to hear about what you're deeply struggling with. I'm so thankful I was "found" by one of these ladies last year and welcomed into their midst.

It's hard to literally see hills from our location
in Tokyo (Mt Fuji is visible from certain 
points, but not our house). This is a view
of mountains from a wrestling venue back
in December, a place I'll be returning to
next month for a Track and Field meet.

I lift my eyes to the hills

At the magazine prayer meeting I'd decided to help us focus by listening to a song based on Psalm 121, which starts, "I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth". 

Most of the team, it turns out, are labouring under some heavy burdens, so this was indeed God going before and leading me to use this psalm and song in our time together. Maybe this song will help you as you struggle with something today too: Psalm 121 (I Lift My Eyes) Lyric Video • Kristyn Getty • Jordan Kauflin • Matt Merker

Last week was quite a week!

I always struggle to write here after I've shared something deep and vulnerable. I've been truly bowled over by the encouragement I've received since hitting "Publish" last Tuesday. Some of it can be seen on my Facebook page, with more than 20 comments there. Here's a sample:

"You're not alone. Thanks for sharing your experience and heart."

"Wendy, I didn't know. I'm so sorry you've had to walk this journey."

"Thank you for posting this . . . We all face many challenges in our lives and families, and we need to know we aren't alone."

"It's also a struggle that doesn't end with children growing up and leaving home."

    [Yes, I know. I've had one son in Australia right through the pandemic who hasn't had an easy time. It's been hard to watch him at times.]    

A friend shared this beautiful prayer:

Father of all Compassion, God of healing and hope, I pray today for those who suffer deeply within their minds, naming particular friends and family before you now.

Prince of Peace, minister most gently to those who are closest to you because their hearts and minds are broken. Speak ancient words that silence storms. Break stigma, isolation and shame.

Wonderful Counsellor, Spirit of Shalom, renew the wisdom of those who care and the resilience of those who share their lives with vulnerable people. Wherever there is a ‘spirit of despair’ please pour out the ‘oil of gladness’ today in unexpected moments of joy.

And so, may the love of the Father, the grace of the Spirit and the mind of Christ himself prevail in our world.

Amen            ~ Pete Greig

People wrote comments on the actual blog post too. And I've received in-person hugs as well as several private messages. It's been a bit of an overwhelming response.

It was a bit of an interesting week last week, actually. The week before I'd been struggling with not being busy enough (and with David being away on a school trip and no little kids to look after, and a bit of lull at work, plus rain meaning I couldn't go riding). I had that horrible voice in my head: "You're a bit useless Wendy, not much good at all." It was in the context of all that that I both saw that Facebook comment that first made me angry and then propelled me to write.

David and I celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary a 
few weeks ago.

Then, after having hit publish last Tuesday, I had people telling me that I wasn't useless at all. That I'd given them a voice when they didn't have one. That in itself was an encouragement.

I had a friend who I mostly know online (we've met once). She's followed my exploits and what I've written for many years now and specifically reminded me of many of the things we've done to invest in our boys (e.g. reading to the boys at dinner, camping, games nights, sport etc., plus working hard at drawing closer to each other as parents).

I also, independent of writing that blog post, I found some more of "my people": a group of expats in Japan who also have "special kids". I cried as I told them an abbreviated version of my story. Though I've told parts of my story to quite a number of people now, I don't always cry. But to tell it to others who know what it's like to struggle with hidden (or not so hidden) disability with their kids, in a land where they aren't natives, was powerful.

I also had another coffee time with a friend who is going through a different kind of parenting struggle and she wrote to me later with encouragement about our conversation. She also specifically assured me that I am certainly not useless!

So, it was quite the week.

But it's just a step along the journey. We're by no means finished this long road of parenting, and I don't think this side of heaven we ever will. But if my story can help encourage others along the way, then I'm doing the right thing: helping others by using my gift of writing true stories. If I can encourage you to tell others about the secret struggles you are having, then I'm also doing the right thing. 

Let's not be ashamed of the less-than-perfect lives that we live: none of our kids are perfect and none of us parents are perfect. But we can do the best we can in the circumstances we find ourselves in. And if we are Christians, we can keep our eyes fixed on our heavenly Father, who never leaves us, and indeed goes before us.

Waiting with grace?

I started this blog post a couple of weeks, just after I sent out our latest prayer letter. Writing (mostly) monthly prayer letters is something I've been doing for over 23 years now. It's a useful time to reflect on the month past and look toward the month ahead. It would be a normal month when we look back at the calendar and say: "Wow, that only happened this month!" Of course at the end of the calendar year it's traditional to look back also, so I included this brief paragraph at the start of our letter:

For many, including us, this has been a hard year. There are many things that have happened differently to what we’d hoped or planned for. How are you coping? We’ve found comfort in doing the daily things that God’s given us to do and leaning hard on him in prayer about the things that we wish were different. As we come to the end of this year we know that God’s been with us the whole way, holding us and helping us. Let’s acknowledge the hard things, but also be quick to thank God for all he’s done and the hope he continues to give us.

This has been a year of disappointments and angst. Also waiting. That theme has continued to pop up for me in various places. How do we wait and do it with grace? Recently, a friend asked: How do we Christians do it with our hearts right with God, resting in his Sovereignty?

Waiting isn't new to me. I guess we all know about waiting, but somehow missionary life brings a different angle, maybe even a greater challenge to waiting. Just getting to Japan meant disappointment and waiting (we were turned down two, nearly three times for a lack of financial support in 2000). Every time we go on home assignment we wait to find accomodation and wheels, last time we left Japan without an address to go to in Australia. The last two times we've been on home assignment, we've waited for house sitters for this place in Tokyo too. With limited financial resources, we're thrown on the generosity of others more than perhaps we would have been if we had remained in Australia in higher paying jobs.

In some ways it's easier to describe what waiting badly looks like. A lot of times it's due to attitude. Waiting badly can look like complaining, it can look like frantic activity to fill the blank left or to distract ourselves. It can also look like scheming to "fix" the problem and manipulate the situation so that it "works". It can look like worry and even physical sickness that's induced by worry. It can look like insomnia or tears. And yes, I know this because I've got personal experience in waiting badly!

But of course you can't look at someone and easily determine if they are waiting well or badly! However, by talking to them, you might get a glimpse.

Good waiting, in my experience, is much more peaceful. There's a quiet trust in God that this too is in his plan. Waiting well doesn't mean inactivity, but rather seeking what is the right thing to do now. That's been a big challenge for us this year as we've waited, especially, to see how God would guide us for the next steps for our nearly-adult kids.

One key to waiting well is to find pleasure in the now. Find ways to enjoy your current situation. Don't forgo celebration, instead seek out reasons to celebrate, reasons to give thanks. Another key is to find ways to serve others, within our limits, of course. When you're waiting it's easy to turn inwards, to be selfish and self absorbed. But when we turn our thoughts upwards to God and outwards to others we gain a better perspective on our situation.

Some lights we often walk past at night. This
is a little unusual in Japan.

We're about to go away for our traditional pre-Christmas holiday. I've been waiting for this break for too long. I'm thankful God's given me the strength to make it through to now and that I'm not a messy heap on the floor. But I'm also glad he's given me things to do while I waited that kept my eyes off myself (most of the time).

I don't know what you're waiting for, but I do know the Lord who can help. Don't miss him in the midst of the wait.

If you're interested, here are three other blog posts I've written on waiting:

I told our waiting-to-come-to-Japan story is here (a summary, really).

The value of waiting for your prayers to be answered: http://mmuser.blogspot.com/2015/05/the-other-end-of-answered-prayer.html

Waiting expectantly, but like a jellyfish: https://mmuser.blogspot.com/2021/04/waiting-expectantly.html

Lining up ducks

I haven’t written a blog post yet this week, mostly because it’s been a busy week away from my desk. Actually a very different looking week to what most of the year has looked like. I spent a lot of the week with other people! All day Monday I spent at a prayer meeting with other OMF missionaries. And travelling across the city in peak hour on trains to get there and back (total about three hours travel and six trains). It was something I hadn’t been looking forward to. Last year when I did this long day I ended up with a nasty headache and actually fairly distressed at wearing a mask (the pressure on my nose and ears when I have a headache is close to unbearable). However I’m more used to wearing masks now and I didn’t end up with the worst of headaches, so it wasn’t so bad.

Tuesday morning I did a quick couple of hours catching up on urgent computer tasks and email before replenishing the larder with a grocery shop and then shooting off downtown again. This time I spent the afternoon packing the latest issue of the magazine that I play a significant part in publishing.

Wednesday was a cold, rainy day, so I was glad I got to stay home and work at my desk. I made good progress that I was able to continue into Thursday morning. Then Thursday afternoon was consumed with online work meetings, specifically about planning for the weeks ahead, which are less-than-straightforward weeks. More about that later.

Friday morning I spent at a school prayer meeting and then a couple of hours with small fellowship group in a restaurant. Friday afternoon was another shopping trip and then seeing what I could salvage from the rest of the day at my desk, but a headache caught up with me and I didn’t last too long there.

In the middle of that has been a few other things:

• 
  Fudge making: last year I raised some money for the school by making and selling fudge to staff and local friends. I’m doing it again this year. I’ve made it a little easier by using a silicon mold, which means that the size of the pieces is much more consistent. So in between other things, I’ve been making fudge this week.

• Wrestling: our youngest (16 y.o.) has rejoined the wrestling team this year. Last week they had their first meet, a small affair between two schools. It was weird to be back in person at a sporting event, but also great. Unfortunately he got injured in his first match and hasn’t been able to get back into training this week while he recovers. But we did watch the rest of the team via a live video link on Thursday night.
• 
  Cricket: cricket fans that we are, we’ve been enjoying live cricket this week for the first time in several months. The English team is in Australia at the moment. The two countries are playing the famous Ashes series. We’ve been able to subscribe to the series (that has rarely been possible in the years we’ve been overseas) and it’s fun. Alas, most of the play happened during our work hours this week so we haven’t seen much, but it’s been fun, another interest David and I share.

• I also passed 100 books read for the year (I also started more than 20 more, but for one reason or another they ended up in the "I don't want to finish reading" list). I've got more than a dozen lined up for the next few weeks, I wonder how many of those I'll get read?

Monday and Friday would have looked quite different during most of 2021. I’m so grateful that, for the moment at least, we’re not living under so many restrictions. It’s weird to look at the cricket and see crowds of people without masks on, though. Masks are still being worn by 99.9% of people in public here.

The coming weeks are a mixture of relaxation and business. This time next week we’ll be up in the mountains taking a week’s holiday. Our traditional pre-Christmas holiday. With school on a three-week break, I anticipate that I’ll be taking things a little slower after Christmas also. Certainly we won’t be getting up at 6am.

In January I’m helping facilitate the same OMF course I helped with last year. This year it’s still online, but we’ve changed a few things so that hopefully it will be a little less arduous. However, I haven’t completely stepped away from my social media job, so I’ll be juggling a few more balls than I did last year. Plus, there's a variety of wrestling events on in January and February. We'll see how well I come out of that busy season. I didn't cope very well in January/February this year, but part of that was an unexpected and traumatic loss in mid-February.

Meanwhile, I prepare as best I can for what's to come. First of all is getting my "ducks lined up" so I can go away and not check email or open my computer for a week. Ah...the bliss. I've got fruit mince pies to make and books to read!

How's your December looked so far?

The good and the bad, and joy in the midst of it all

I have a lot to be thankful for this week . . . maybe I'm learning how to have joy in the midst of pain?

On the one hand, I've been weary and overwhelmed, and I've struggled with headaches all week. 

Playing French cricket with our UK friends on Saturday was fun.
And the sky was magnificent viewing: all day! It's not often you
get so far from other people and buildings in the greater Tokyo area.

But on the other hand, we've had some great things happening. Last Saturday, despite being unable to do our planned camping trip, and having some last-minute hiccups, we were able to spend the day with friends/colleagues. I was able to have a long weekend—a quiet day of just relaxing at home on Tuesday was very unusual, but matched with my family's schedule (school's Fall Break) and was needed. 

And, after months of waiting, we're seeing some positive changes in the local situation. The number of new COVID-19 infections is the lowest it's been all year. This week three meetings that have been online for many months have been, or will be, in person: a prayer and fellowship meeting with our mission, a prayer meeting at school, and worship on Sunday at church. 

All good, but also a tad overwhelming in the suddenness that it's all changed. We've also seen forward movement on a couple of fronts for one of our guys, which is very encouraging, but has made my schedule next week a bit busier than I'd like.

Another unexpected thing I've been doing this month is a daily photo challenge with Taking Route, an online community for expat women. The challenge is #thisglobalwalkoutside. Using daily photo prompts, expat women around the world are taking photos outside and sharing them. I've not been interacting much with the community, but been simply enjoying taking the simple prompt and searching each day for a photo to take (or one that was taken earlier) and post, plus something to write about the prompt (I can't resist the writer-side of me). It was something I stumbled upon at the start of the month and I have to say the results have been unexpected. My reflections have surprised me (as have some of my photos).

I have to say also, that despite all that I've had going on, plus a headache, I've been remarkably productive in even this short week . . . but that reminds me that I must get back to my To Do list before this working week is over.

November Marshall Musings

Here's something I've been working on in the last couple of days. This is a blog-version of our prayer letter. If you'd like the full two-page version that includes more family news, please let me know.

Be excellent at what you do for the Lord

This article "Christian Authors and the 'Good Enough' Fallacy" is specifically "geared toward [Christian] authors who are trying to write full-time and/or who are serious about getting their work professionally published". However, it touches on an important point that goes much wider than that. 

The article talks about an attitude that can sometimes slide into Christian activities. Doing "just enough" and trusting that God will do the rest.

This is not how I would approach any ordinary job. I come from a health professional background and certainly one of the big things we had to learn how to be was "professional". That's a hard concept to define but includes doing the best you can, drawing a line between personal and work, acting with discretion, being reliable and respectful, and always seeking to improve. I think we sometimes fall down on these things when engaging in "Christian" work."

God exhorts us to do our best:

"Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might." (Ecc. 9:10 ESV)

"Whatever you do, work at it heartily, as for the Lord, not for men." (Col. 3:23 ESV)

"Sing to him a new song; play skillfully on the strings, with loud shouts." (Ps. 33:3 ESV)

This was said of Hudson Taylor, the founder of OMF International (called China Inland Mission at the time): 

“He prayed about things as if everything depended upon the praying . . . but he worked also, as if everything depended on his working.”

I think it is a nicely balanced perspective. Exodus actually gives us a nice picture of the skills that people have. Numerous times people are described as "skilled workers":

"Also I have given ability to all the skilled workers to make everything I have commanded you" (Ex 31:6 NIV)

"Then Moses said to the people of Israel, “See, the Lord has called by name Bezalel the son of Uri, son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah; and he has filled him with the Spirit of God, with skill, with intelligence, with knowledge, and with all craftsmanship, to devise artistic designs, to work in gold and silver and bronze, in cutting stones for setting, and in carving wood, for work in every skilled craft. And he has inspired him to teach, both him and Oholiab the son of Ahisamach of the tribe of Dan. He has filled them with skill to do every sort of work done by an engraver or by a designer or by an embroiderer in blue and purple and scarlet yarns and fine twined linen, or by a weaver—by any sort of workman or skilled designer." (Ex. 35:30-35 ESV)

Quite clearly God explains that he's given the skills to people, but also that he expects that they use those skills to produce excellent work. The work particularly being undertaken in this portion of the Bible is the building of the tabernacle (in the desert, in those years of wandering between Egypt and Israel) that the Israelites used for many years before Solomon built a permanent temple.

I'm passionate about this and have pushed to make the magazine I work on a work of excellence, rather than just "good enough".

Today I went into the office of the Japan Evangelical Missionary Association (an association of over 1,000 missionaries working in Japan under various mission organisations and independently). I helped them pack the Summer issue of the magazine. It's always satisfying to see this end stage, and such a different thing to what I do most of the time (playing around with words and images). It's great to lay my hands on a physical copy of the magazine we put together.

In order to make excellence happen in the arena of the magazine I manage, I've gathered people around me in the team who feel the same way. And they keep pushing me—every single issue! 

This photo particularly illustrates the dedication of our designer to excellence. She couldn't find a photo to fit this particular article, so she and her husband staged one. They downloaded an appropriate form and started filling it out. It fits the article perfectly, but took some time and effort and creative thinking!

It's time for me to go on with making our dinner, but I want to leave with the parting thought that sometimes we (and I'm talking about the church in general here) approach mission in the "good enough" way. We pray. Yes. that's really important. But sometimes God is calling us to do more than that. To take some risks, to commit to more than just prayer.

Snippets from our prayer-newsletter

I have not previously put our prayer letter up on my blog, mostly due to how personal our prayer letter can be and that this blog is public. However, I got a good response last time I did this, so perhaps I might pluck bits out of our prayer/newsletter each time and publish it here also. If you'd like the full two-page publication, do send me an email with your email address and I can put you on our Mailchimp list.

Afternoon winter light on a neighbourhood stream.

Financial report for 2018

During 2018 we received 89% of our budgeted support figure. As we mentioned in our November prayer letter, there has been a change in the exchange rate which means that the Australian dollar is currently not going as far in Japan as it was at the start of the 2018 calendar year. 

The support we receive while we’re on home assignment is always low because around half of our support comes from David’s CAJ salary.

After our November prayer letter we received a handful of pledges and a number of one-off donations. All are very welcome, though OMF tends to look at commitment to ongoing support as more important to us being able to remain on the field long-term.

For your information: we still need $400 more a month promised support to reach 100%. Please pray that the remaining will be promised by new financial pledges of support. If you are interested in supporting us, you can go to this link to notify OMF of your intentions www.omf.org/australia/support/

Returning to Japan roles

A winter sunset across the CAJ soccer field and the local train line.

We have returned to Japan after a six-month home assignment. Our roles are pretty much as they were before we left. While we were gone, some of our responsibilities were covered by colleagues here and a few things we continued to do while in Australia, with the help of Skype, email, and other online communication tools. But it’s good to be back here doing these roles again. 

While we were in Australia, many of you heard us speak about what we do. Could you tell that we are passionate about it? Support and mobilisation were the two key concepts we used. Our roles help support misisionaries to remain in Japan and also Wendy’s roles includes mobilising more people to engage in mission.

David’s involvement in the education of missionary children helps missionary familes stay in Japan. Without CAJ we ourselves would struggle to remain in the country.

Wendy’s work with Japan Harvest magazine helps missionaries by encouraging them in their work as they read about the work that is going on in other parts of Japan. It also helps equip and inspire them as they read about other people’s ideas and ministry experiences.

Wendy’s role in social media with OMF Japan helps spread the work around the world about what it is like to serve in Japan, but also how much Japan needs the gospel and how people can serve here.

CAJ corner

Catching a moving train

by David

Trains are a major part of life in Tokyo. Millions of people catch them each day, but most people wait patiently for the train to stop before getting on. Catching moving trains is the stuff of movies and books. However, starting at CAJ in the middle of the year is much like catching a moving train. The school is up and going at a fast pace, and I have to spend time getting up to speed with everything that is going on.

Even though I tried to keep tabs on big happenings at CAJ while I was gone, I am finding there were so many smaller stories going on with valued colleagues. A cancer surgery here, a birth of a baby there, people deciding to move on at the end of the year (I am so glad I am back early enough to say good-bye!).

Some of my students from last year are preparing to graduate. They are excited about the next stage of life and waiting expectantly for their university offers to arrive.

The momentum of activity here makes it hard to know what to ask you to pray for! Our building program has progressed slowly, with rising costs making us re-think our plans and priorities. We have staffing needs in key leadership and organisation roles. We are wondering how to reach the larger numbers of non-Christian families who want to come to CAJ, with out losing our distinctive community. Pray for all of them?Pray for us

Praise

• Being able to come back to Japan on January 9 and settle quickly into life here.
• For refreshment over Christmas as we visited family.
• For the various people who helped us in early January to quickly pack up and leave Australia and also to settle back into Japan.
• For unexpected opportunities to meet with a few friends in that last week before we flew.
• That our eldest son can visit us for two weeks.
• For the new financial pledges we’ve received as well as the one-off donations.
• For a clear sense that we’re serving where God has called us to serve at this time.

Prayer

• Continune to pray that God would provide us with new financial support pledges ($400 per month) so that we’re able to continue working in Japan fully supported.
• Pray that Centrelink will grant our eldest rent assistance.
• For the boys as they continue to settle back into CAJ, especially adjusting to new subjects. Pray for Doug who has yet to complete some subjects he began online during our time in Australia.
• As always: for wisdom and patience in parenting.
• For strength. We’ve hit the ground running. Pray for good sleep and sufficient rest.
• For CAJ’s building committee as they continue to explore options for replacing old buildings.
• For our home church as they seek more ways to be involved in supporting us.

Surrounded by constant transition

Today I went to my second prayer meeting in two days. It sounds like all missionaries do is pray, right? Well that's not quite true, but it is an important part of the work. Praying with others really helps me to pray more, but also keeps me in contact with others in the international community here. My job could easily result in me spending most days stuck behind my computer in my house, which is not only unhealthy for me (I need time with others), but also would mean that I'd get a very narrow focus on what's going on around me in the world. So it's been very helpful to start integrating back into our community by attending a couple of these.

The meeting I went to yesterday was school-based, and especially focused on 10th grade, the grade our middle son is in. It comprised of five mums from that grade level. I was hit full in the face with culture shock. Not Japanese culture (although a lot of the meeting was conducted in Japanese because that was the language two of the mums were most fluent in), but more the international culture that surrounds people associated with CAJ and missions in general.

Of the five mums present, two of us were transitioning into (or back into) the school this month and two others were planning for home assignment from the middle of the year. We also prayed for two other students in the class who are currently in the US for six to twelve months. That's an awful high level of mobility, when you consider the class is only 40-50 students. But it's the norm in this population. It was a shock to remember that characteristic of this life we've been called to. The only constant, aside from our heavenly Father, is change. And that even if we ourselves stay still, we are surrounded by constant change.

It truly is exhausting. We're just recovering from our own transition, but at the same time relating to a high number of people around us who are in the midst of transition themselves. 

Australian Christmas lunch with the Marshalls. Our
boys have developed a love of cherries (closest bowl),
 which were in abundance during this season.

Today's all-morning meeting was with a couple of dozen of missionary women across various walks of life, some old friends, others I'd never met before. I'm exhausted after that, more so than I usually would be. It's a good reminder that, though I don't have jet lag, I need to be kind to myself in the midst of this transition. Because we've basically stepped back into life as it was before we left, the temptation is to just run at the same pace as we usually do. But I'm thinking that that's not wise, not yet.

As I caught up with friends I realised that I'm going to struggle to find anyone in Japan who wants to hear about all the people I've said goodbye to, they've simply got their own issues to deal with and talking to someone about friends of yours that they've never met is hard and a bit weird. I guess you might not want to hear about them either, but on a blog post, you can take it or leave it, you're not a captured audience.

So here's a few of our goodbyes:

David's family

Cold prawns (US=shrimp) for lunch. Our boys
needed lessons in how to deal with these, ironically
their British uncle taught them about this
Australian-Christmas food.

On the 20th of December we drove all day to David's mother's house where we met up with his sister and her family. The next day we had "Christmas" with them and David's aunt and uncle. It was a lovely family time, busy, but in an Aussie-laid back way.

That night we said goodbye to David's sister and her family as they left early the next morning to drive south for two days to visit members of her husband's family.

On Christmas morning we said goodbye to David's mum and drove south ourselves. Routine, in a way, as we've never lived close to David's side of the family, but still, these were important goodbyes. Thankfully those days we spent with them, we made good memories that we carry with us. I'm glad we took the time to organise this trip.

Wendy's family
We drove straight from there to my parents. Another whole-day drive. My parents have seen a reasonable amount of us over the last six months. They only lived 90 minutes drive from where we were located in Ipswich and in a city where we have a number of supporters. So we went up there a few weekends to speak in churches, and were grateful to be able to see them and stay in their house (the only place our boys have known their whole lives). We also took time during the September school holidays to spend with both David's family and mine. These were "Big Rocks", time that we plan into home assignment time before we plan other things like visits to churches and time with friends. Family is important, and even more so when we're not around often.

We stayed almost a week with them from Christmas Day, which also included a family "Christmas" where my sisters joined us with their families. A rare opportunity for all nine of my parents' grandchildren to get together. We've got photos and good memories of that time too. But again, goodbyes were said. We couldn't tell them when we'd next get to see them, but it's certainly going to be more than one year! We're used to being apart, but it doesn't make it unimportant to say goodbye, to acknowledge that love and separation don't go well together.

We got to see my parents again one more time, but I'll leave that to my next blog post, because there were a lot more goodbyes said between 31st December and when we left Australia on 9th January.