Altered forever

I'm the mum of three boys. It's altered my humour forever! 

Not long after we took off for our camping trip on Monday I saw this and got excited. "Toilet Car"! Seriously?

Made-in-Japan English

I have a nasty headache this afternoon, probably a combination of causes. On top of being tired, I've had an extra busy, stressful week. Muscle tension is almost always a contributing factor to my headaches and my neck has tensed up this afternoon. Additionally I'm wondering if a sudden increase in the temperature this afternoon contributed to the bad mix: today was more than seven degrees warmer [see here] than yesterday.

Anyway, I've been saving a photo of some Japanese-English to show you.

We found this display of tyres at an expressway way-side stop in an area where it snows. It shows the different types of tyres you can use in the snow. Left is obviously chains. Then one of those two middle ones is sutaduresu (I can't read the labels, and it's been a long time since I took this photo). 

This is an example of English transferred into Japanese and the Japanese people assuming that English speakers will be familiar with it. I was confronted by this one at language school. The teacher assured me that it was English, but after failing to guess what the word meant the teacher explained and I assured him it wasn't English where I came from!

Another one I came across the other day was peersu. It means "earrings". I was complimented on my peers. It was obvious from the context what was meant, but it could have been thoroughly confusing.

This article has some other confusing Japanese words that have been borrowed and modified by Japan.

More funny English

Finding funny English can be an interesting pastime in non-English speaking countries. In Japan a great source is the 100 yen shops that have English translations on many of their products. Here's some we found on the weekend.

The last one I found on a packet of tissues this afternoon. It brings to mind images I'd rather not imagine.

Why are Japanese people so bad at English?

It is a discussion we often have, in Japan and here. Japanese people seem convinced that English is too difficult for them. But there are other reasons beyond the fact that English is vastly different to Japanese.

Here are some reasons and language-learning ideas for those of us living in a land that doesn't speak our heart language: http://japaneseruleof7.com/why-are-japanese-so-bad-at-english-5-reasons/

Chicken leg with born

Despite the amount of English taught in Japan, we still regularly see interesting signs in English. This one amused me this morning. I think the "born" is supposed to be "bone".

In case you're interested, the price is 47 yen per 100g plus tax (which is 5%). So that equates to about AU$5.72 a kilo which is a good price. We eat chicken regularly! Other meat (steak, I think) I saw today was up to about AU$35/40 a kilo.

Bad English nostalgia

I was going through some old photos on my Japanese mobile and found a couple of gems. Check these products, found in a ¥100 shop:

Wouldn't "multipurpose gloves for either hand" be better?

Sorry, didn't take the best photo here, but there's enough to marvel at how English can be used in the hands of those who don't have it as their native language. Plenty of reasons for me to be very cautious before I publish anything I've written in Japanese!

Scary English

Since I'm out in the "wilds" today "camping" with my middle son and the 5th grade class, here's a post I prepared earlier.

On our shopping trip to the hardware store on Saturday I found this "Compression Underwear". That's not so unusual, except the English is a little suspect. 

Here's a close-up. "The "Gladiatorarmor" is a functional fiber that improves your bodily functions more efficiently."

Hmmm. I didn't buy them!

Caged Animals Prohibited

I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed by everything today. I've spent a portion of my morning getting up to speed on the magazine I edit (I've had a "slow" month between deadlines but busy doing other things). A lot of it has been checking who didn't make our submission deadline yesterday and following up. I have to say I'm most encouraged by the person who wrote this before the deadline, admitting they were going to be late:

I know that respecting deadlines is important since it is part of respecting others' time.

I feel the respect! If only others would respect my time as much as she did.

So here's a photo of a sign with fun English from one of our local shops. I think the English got a little messed up. As far as I understand the Japanese it says "Bringing pets is prohibited."

Makes me feel like taking our turtle for a shop because he isn't in a cage...but it would be a bit awkward, because he's getting big!

Photo answer #50

This one didn't turn out to be too hard, at least the answer came very quickly from a few

sources.

But before we get there, it is fun to brainstorm about this mind-boggling product, Maple Flavoured Almond Poodle Blend. Here are Deb's fun suggestions:

A large vat of poodles from which is extracted...
Or a type of almond hair conditioner for frizzy hair...
Or a carpet freshener for poodle accidents in a maple scent....
Ah, the possibilities are delightful.

The true answer lies here: http://www.justhungry.com//almond-poodle. Basically it is a mangled French word that means "powder". So it is Powdered Almonds.

The Japanese language has a tendency to do this, because they only have 46 sounds, they squeeze foreign words into those 46 sounds and the result can be unrecognisable. For example, Makudonarudo is Japanese for McDonalds!

In the case of the "Almond Poodles", they've taken a foreign word (poudre), squeezed it into Japanese (puudoru or プードル) and then "translated" back in "Romaji" script (ABCs) with an unfortunate result.

Photo question #50

Here is a doozy that I found this afternoon at the shop. 

It is Almond Poodle Blend. Maple Flavoured.

That about takes the cake in terms of bad English. I've no idea what it is. I'm planning to ask some Japanese friends on Wednesday, but in the meantime, do you want to have a guess?

More funny English in Japan

I'm still playing catch-up from my elongated cold early in February, then a day out for the Wrestling Tournament last week, then a snow day and then, to top it all off, four-day Winter break. It all equals lots of time when I couldn't work on the things that I need to work on!

Update: I don't have a middle ear infection, don't know if I ever did. I went to an ENT yesterday who said that middle ear infections are accompanied, in adults, by intense pain. I never had intense pain! However, that leaves me with a gummed up eustachian tube that isn't working properly yet and without 100% hearing in my left ear. He said, "Be patient, there's nothing more we can do except continue taking the medication you already have." Sigh. At least I don't have to take any more antibiotics.

So, in lieu of a decent post, I've a couple of photos of fun English:

My husband asked me to buy him some more L sized washing up gloves.
This was two right-handed rubber gloves that were, apparently, fluffy
inside. I didn't buy them!

And in the same 100 yen shop I found this Milk Tea (cold) that
apparently is in "off mode".
In the red circle below is says, "Calorie Off",
so I guess that is what it means: low in calories!?!

Funny English Hunt

On New Year's Day we tried to go to an All-You-Eat restaurant, but it wasn't open until 3pm, so we went to a local shopping centre and "hung out" until we could get into the restaurant. 

The shopping centre was a busy place. Like Boxing Day in Australia and Black Friday in the US, New Year's Day is a popular day for shopping. Shops sell "lucky bags". A bit like a lucky dip, except you just pick a bag and hope for the best. Apparently you can get some great bargains. The Lego shop had $200 worth of Lego on sale for $100, but of course you couldn't choose what was in the bag, so it is a gamble.

Anyway, our boys don't do well "hanging" in a shopping centre, especially on a busy day, so we were struggling to figure out two spend two hours there! 

I suggested we keep our eyes open for "strange/funny English". Here are some things we found:

Our 8 y.o. took this label literally and thought it odd till we explained that it is supposed to conjure up images of fondue for lips!

This isn't so much funny English as bad English: "3 pieces bowl and tray". Found in the Disney store!

A little hard to read, but the last instruction is to "Keep our reach of children."

Gloves.

These were just a strange product: Matchmaking cards.

The list reads as follows:
Who seems good cook
Who seems glamorous (fair enough so far)
Who seems wheedling person (there's a compliment for your girlfriend!)
Who seems coquetry person (this is a word?)
Who seems likeable as pet (wow?!?)

I like this one. Throwing cards arbitrarily is considered uncivil!

I saw this caution on several different products: "Child fewer than 4years old directly disable." Hmmmm!

Photo Answer #45

Here is the photo I gave you a week ago.

Georgia and John guessed this (on Facebook): 

Three Nines = San Kyuu = Thank You. As John said, an expression of gratitude to the patrons.

The answer is below (photo taken of the directory). If you can read it! Third from the top: "Suriinain". Which is indeed "Three nine". 

Three = san in Japanese and Nine = q. Therefore "san q" which is the Japanese accented "Thank you".

I wonder how many Japanese people actually connect the name of the shop to the English "Thank you" though?

Christmas Eve adventures

Feeling a little better today, but headed off to the doctors his morning for more asthma meds. I had a tagalong--my middle son who fell off his bike yesterday and split the skin on his chin. They were on the way to the large ¥100 shop for our annual shop-for-one-another's Christmas presents when he came a cropper.

Alas I missed out on the shopping trip. But I was home to welcome our injured rider, who decided to turn around and come home. Thankfully he had no other damage. If it hadn't been a public holiday we would have taken him to the doctor (he rode home past the doctor's surgery!). We thought they'd stitch it or glue it, but in the end they did nothing except clean and dress it. He'll have a nice little scar. 

It's days like today that I'm so happy for the no-appointment policy of most local doctors. We just rocked up and within 45 mins saw our favourite doctor, together!

My drugs, plus the explanation sheet from the pharmacy. As they don't come
in separate cartons it is useful that they include a photo of the medication
(I guess I could read the labelling...).

He's given me a swagful of drugs, though. Asthma med plus some pills to treat my cold symptoms. Japan is fond of polypharmacy.  Hopefully this cold is on it's way out now. There were way less tissues beside my bed this morning when I got up, so I'm hopeful. I've certainly treated it with lots of rest. I've done little since Friday afternoon!

On the way home we stopped at a smaller, but closer ¥100 shop to give us wounded/sick people a chance to do our Christmas shopping. After reading many Facebook statuses documenting the nightmare of Christmas shopping today or last night in Australia, I have another reason to be thankful I'm here and not there. No (bike) parking hassles and no more people at the shops than usual. 

Can't get much closer parking than this. The steps
mark the front of the store were I bought more bandaids. This
 is on the route home from the doctor. I basically parked on the road, only 2m from where I would ride. So convenient!

More convenient bike parking: out the front
of the 100 yen store.

At the 100 yen shop I couldn't resist taking some photos of this product covered in appalling English. 

It was hard to take photos—so many lights shining on the plastic! Here is
some of it:

"Of a hand of infant and child is not going to arrive, and please keep it.

Because there is not breathability. I am very in danger when I put a bag on 

a head. Please stop it."

"I am going to become fire and a high temperature". and please do not put a

gas ring or a toaster oven.

So onwards onto Christmas Day. The boys are so excited that they're having trouble eating (at least the non-teenagers are). 

I hope you're able to have a special celebration in one form or another this week. May God bless you as you celebrate those he's given you as special in your life. 

Snapshots from my day

This was Yesterday. 

Morning
I worked on the computer from when the boys left till 10. Then I headed to school for the start of a crazy day. I dropped by the library to pick up some books about the Human Brain (a topic for a future post about a big project one son is doing). Then I popped on my Santa Hat and joined the 5th Grade class for their Christmas party.


I got them going on some Charades and then a collaborative building activity (making a Christmas tree out of just a few materials like paper plates, chopsticks and straws). Unfortunately we ran out of time to play the Chocolate Game (see here).

Trying to make a Christmas tree. Alas this group ran out of
time.

After that I shuttled back and forth between the 5th and 3rd grade classrooms taking in both parties. I've got to say, though, the 5th graders had the best food! Home made fudge topping on ice-cream, plus stacks of home cooked goodies.

Afternoon
After all that food before midday, three of us weren't very hungry for lunch. One boy ended up having lunch at 3pm!

At 1.30 I headed off to spend a couple of hours with my language exchange friends. We had a great time, as we usually do, over our coffee/tea in a small restaurant.

One of the things we talked about is this Japan Times article I read during the week. It talks about how Japanese school students are mostly taught English using their own alphabet and pronunciation, which means that English words get very mangled. Japanese has less sounds than English, for starters they only have five vowel sounds. 

For example, when you use Japanese pronunciation, brush and blush sound exactly the same! Here are a number of other examples, that I blogged about a few years ago.

Not only do English words get mangled, but words get attributed to English that aren't actually English, for example sutaduresu taiya, Japanese for "studless tyre". This is something you won't find in a dictionary (but you will find it with a Google). My language exchange partners thought this was pretty funny.

Often, too, the meaning gets changed, as meanings often do when you borrow words from other languages. The word "mansion" has been borrowed by the Japanese language, but it doesn't mean a large house occupied by one family unit, it means a large block of apartments, particularly newer apartments.

Here's some sage advice posted as a comment on the Japan Times article as a comment:

When I was learning Japanese, my professor made is learn hiragana/katakana [Ed's note: Japanese alphabets] the first few weeks, and then the classes were taught solely with them; the English alphabet was absolutely forbidden. It should be done this way with English classes. it may be difficult at first but it results in learning much more quickly than relying on your native alphabet as a crutch.

I totally agree, we were taught using the Japanese alphabets. I now find it hard to read Japanese if it is written in English letters.

While we were inside discussing these fascinating things, the heavy clouds finally began to drizzle. And drizzle at about 5 ˚C just isn't very cheerful! (The drizzle continued all night and all day today too.)

Evening
At 5.15 the family headed off the school. For the final wrestling event of 2013. We watched our wrestlers face up against Yokota Air Base's wrestling team. There were some good bouts, at least from a CAJ point of view.

Our son got a wrestle and pinned his opponent. His fourth pin in four bouts this season. Not bad! His first shot nearly went badly wrong, but he managed to extract himself and

Just as the pin was called. It looks like they're lounging,
but in truth they were both straining as hard as they could.

nailed his opponent in only 31 seconds.

The award for the happiest wrestler goes to the son of colleagues of ours. It's his first year wrestling and he's had some tough bouts (he has no competition in the team for his weight class, so he's been wrestling the best wrestlers on the other teams in his class). Yesterday, though, he won against a tough opponent and looked so satisfied at the end.


So there are some snapshots of my day. For some reason, though I was quite tired, I had trouble dropping off to sleep last night. I hope that that trend reverses tonight. Perhaps I was just too keyed up by the day?

Some interesting photos

I collected the following photos over the holidays. Thought you might be interested.

I found this novelty iPhone case. Really,
can you imagine actually using this?
It is about three times the size of an iPhone.

Can you buy cans this size in Australia? You can here. That OJ is 1L, for comparison.

You've got to love the creative English spelling Japanese people get up to,
but here we have some creative capitalisation. This was in a train station.

Found this on the side of an apartment building in a nearby
suburb. Japanese name their apartment complexes. I can't imagine
how a missionary living there could give out their address!

Inner Bottom? Really?

I really don't understand the numbering system on the roads here.
I mean really, which road do you want, 299 or 299?

Our turtle trying to escape after his active time with friends
while we were in Hokkaido.

Interesting English

I was deleting some of the photos off my phone the other day and I found a bunch of "Interesting" English photos. So here, for your own entertainment, they are:

Found in some women's toilets. It is common to
find boy-sized urinals in women's facilities.
A great idea, I reckon! But they didn't quite get the noun right. 

This is very good English, actually. It was found on a train platform.
This is one of those new platforms where they have a fence
separating you from the train, the 'doors' that they mention are sliding
doors in the fence. It is supposed to reduce the chance of people
jumping off platforms in front of trains.

Um, what? A toilet cubicle photo.

This one from a 100 yen shop. Are you "a safety driver"?

These oranges were "Made in Australia"!

In a bicycle shop. I was tempted to break into song.

And some tissues: "Life Yell", um.