23 October, 2017

Making sense of today

It's been nearly a week since I've had the time and energy to write here. A typical Thrift Shop week. I've had lots of ideas floating around in my thoughts, but no time to write them down. 
Drying out the content of David's backpack after the Spartan Race.

And now today's had a weird start: a typhoon blew threw overnight and school had a late start (10.30), so we slept in and didn't have breakfast until about 9. Add to that my husband, who's flying to the US today (a first for our family). He was only planning to be at school in the morning and then taking off across town, but the typhoon messed with that a bit. Thankfully it's passed and hasn't messed with his flight, though.

The weather has me on edge too. We started the day with grey overcast, gusty conditions and now it is a typical post-typhoon sky: bright blue, but the wind is still gusting at times, which always makes me unsettled.

I did a car trip for groceries yesterday, instead of riding, because it
was raining steadily. This shop had three older guys working hard to
 manage the traffic flow in and out. I love the way Japanese take care of
customers and the public in general.
So now I'm sitting at my computer, trying to make sense of it all and settle down to work. Because I haven't sat here for days, and only vaguely monitored email via my phone amidst the organised chaos that is Thrift Shop, so I'm struggling to get my head back into my usual work.

Though maybe it's partly my head that's the problem. I've felt a cold coming on these last few days and, typically, after relaxing yesterday afternoon, my throat flared last night and the cold is moving in. So, as I type, I'm sipping a honey and lemon drink.

I'm going to try processing the week a bit here in writing to see if I can get an handle on the way forward.

Conversations at Thrift Shop
Thrift Shop is hard work, but also full of wonderful (and random) conversations. On Tuesday, when we began work, I was only remembering the work, but was wonderfully surprised by the joy at working with others and getting to know them better. Here are a few conversations that I remember:
  • Working with an Australian on Saturday all morning who is slightly ahead of us in the sending-kids-to-uni-in-Australia stakes. It was good to hear and share some stories. And with the sharing of stories (this goes for a number of conversations over the week), be reassured that the behaviour we find disturbing or annoying in our teens is well within the normal range of what parents-of-teens experience.
  • Working with an Englishwoman on Friday and hearing her story, of how she met her south American husband and what they're now doing in Japan. Also starting to set up a Boxing Day morning tea with other fruit-mince-pie enthusiasts!
  • A quick conversation where I put my publishing hat on. Getting a quote for a third printing run on our 31 Days of Prayer booklet.
  • Getting to know a Japanese mum, who's spent quite a bit of time in Australia with her Australian husband. It was great to talk about some TCK issues (where do they feel most at home, etc), but just generally get to know her better.
The week was wet and cold, unusually so for October, so it was good to be busy and occupied inside where I didn't have time to brood over the unseasonal dip into winter.

Spartan Race
Saturday, while I worked at Thrift Shop, was an unusual day for the rest of our family. One stayed home with a cold (he gave it to me!) and the other three went to the Spartan Race. A private sponsored obstacle race that you enter like a triathlon or marathon. It was wet and muddy. Apparently that adds to the fun? It certainly makes for interesting photos and stories. 

Our eldest and youngest competed. The race for the 12 year-olds was a little low on challenge and our son was disappointed. He thought it was longer, so was pacing himself. Nonetheless, he came third and got a substantial medal for finishing. Our eldest, with his teammate, took 2 hrs 17 minutes to compete their much more challenging race. They came equal 5th in their age group. Great memories. It was a very wet day and there was no shelter. Even the spectators got thoroughly wet and muddy. Though we ran the heater all day yesterday with my husband's leather wallet on top of it, when he put notes back into it today, they were still getting damp!

Tiny's gone
The other surprise of the weekend was that on Saturday our pet turtle, Tiny, went to another home permanently. We'd put up a sign at Thrift Shop saying we were looking for a new home for him and I got a phone call five minutes before the end of shopping on Saturday (12.55) asking about him and could they take him straight away! It took some quick action, but I managed to get him to his new owners and he was whisked away to adventures at a small Christian school south of here. I hope that he brings much joy to the students there. I discovered later there is a bit of a backstory here. The pastor who's involved in running this school had been looking for a "cool reptile" for the school and so Tiny was just what they were looking for! Though perhaps a little larger than they'd bargained on. We're thankful that he's been taken off our hands. Our boys had outgrown the joy of having a turtle and so he was really just another job on the list of household things we had to do (not to mention that I've been bitten twice this year—I did warn his new owners).

That's enough for now. Tomorrow I'll have Thrift Shop photos for you: bargains and fun moments.

17 October, 2017

Tokyo's unexpected green tinge

In this huge metropolis that's one and half times the population of my home country, it amazes me how much green there is. There seems to be a compulsion to grow stuff in the smallest of places. Tiny garden beds seem to be regularly included on the side of houses or built into property walls these days (not so much in the older buildings like our house). 

Here's a house we've driven past quite a lot on the way back from cross-country meets these last few weeks. They've got a tree growing in that tiny garden! Plus something that looks like it could be a bonsai plant on the other side of the front door.

Of course not everyone has a green thumb (for example, yours truly, who mostly only grows geraniums because they are really hard to kill). Some of the garden beds seem to be wishful thinking: put in at entrances that are on the northern side of a building, and hence get almost no sun except in mid-summer. One building near us must have had pine trees planted there when it was built, on the north side of the building. We've watched them gradually die and finally, fall over into the street.

I passed this house on the way to Costco a couple of weeks ago. No one's grabbed the opportunity of that garden bed, but at least it's not overflowing with weeds.

I found this small ornamental chilli bush in full "bloom" on my way to the doctor last month. I passed it again yesterday and it wasn't looking so healthy. But I want to include the photo as an example of the little bits of nature that lie all around us here. This bush is in a long raised garden bed in, essentially, the central business area of our suburb. In the background you can see another one (which had mostly weeds at the time). These public areas are generally looked after by local citizen groups, who often have work days where they get out and tidy up, often planting annuals.

It's not what fits my mind's eye with what a big city will look like. 

16 October, 2017

Keeping it real today

Keeping it real—this was what the last few days looked like for me.

Saturday held another cross country meet. The second-last one for the season. The alarm went off at 5.30 as David was one of the drivers getting runners to the meet and I was riding with him. This season we've had the joy of having our two boys run in the first and last race at most meets! No arriving late or leaving early! 

It drizzled on and off and was quite cold, more than 10C colder than last Tuesday when I was wearing shorts! So I was layered up. I copped the usual flack from my teenagers, but it was my comfort I cared about, not their opinions of my fashion.

We had the fun of cheering CAJ's high school boys on to great success. It was their regional finals and the top 15 got medals. One third of those medals went to our boys and gave us the team award! Notable when you realise that the schools that came second and third have student bodies more than twice the size of our school.

But I came home very tired and still had grocery shopping to do and an evening meal to cook. I think that was the night that my Kindle fell out of my hands onto the floor while I was reading in bed and David suggested I should call it quits for the day.

Sunday was church as usual in the morning and resting for a couple of hours after lunch, but for some reason I wasn't able to nap. 

The upcoming fortnight is extra busy. This week is CAJ's giant bazaar, Thrift Shop where I volunteer for four and a half very intense days. 

Preparing at home for that time means getting all the stuff that we're intending to sell with price tags on them (which we write by hand and include our PTA number so that we can get a percentage of the sale price returned to us as income). 

For me it also means making sure my menu for the coming week is light on work for me because two nights I won't be here at that time and the other three nights I'll be very tired. And it also means that I'm working hard on Monday and Tuesday to make sure that as far as I can predict, I'm able to take a few days off from my editing jobs. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

On Sunday I spent time baking for these coming couple of weeks (snacks for our family as well as Thrift Shop volunteers) before heating up our usual left-over Sunday night dinner.

I also worked on the menu for the week after Thrift Shop because David will be away in the US that week and I try to be kind to myself. So in the last week we've had some large meals and yesterday I frozen portions for the upcoming fortnight.

Looking at the upcoming temperatures, I also asked David if he could get the big heater out and buy some kerosene to fill it up. Today, that already proved fortuitous. It's been grey and drizzling all day and barely made 14 today. Really quite chilly for this time of year.

I was still feeling rather tired last night and had boys needing stuff from me at 10pm, which is pretty much my Cinderella hour most nights, but last night even more. I do believe I said something like this to a boy who was occupying the bathroom and preventing me from cleaning my teeth and going to bed:
"Please get into the shower [i.e. out of the sink area] so I can clean my teeth before I collapse. I want to collapse after I've cleaned my teeth and I want to collapse in my bed." 
Today I've been working hard along the lines of what I wrote above, checking where I'm up to and trying to get ahead on as much as I can. I also walked over to school in my gum boots for a ninth-grade parent's prayer meeting at school mid-morning. 

After that I walked through the drizzling, chilly rain to the doctor to get asthma medication for the next three months (hopefully, if I don't get a cold). That was a mildly anxiety-inducing affair. There's nothing like someone with a full-blown cold in the waiting room to make me feel as though my chest is tightening up, especially when it's a cold day and I'm thinking about asthma for starters. I'm not super fond of the rule that they can't give you repeats on prescriptions here, so that I can stay away from the doctor's waiting room for up to a whole year! But thankfully my timing was great and the whole thing, including getting the meds from the pharmacy, only took 40 minutes. Not bad with no appointment!

Then I walked to my local coffee shop and spent the next four hours there. My happy, productive place! I figured home would be cold and miserable (I never cope well with these pre-Thrift Shop days and a cold, wet, grey day wasn't helping my mood). And knowing that I usually get a tonne done when I'm at a coffee shop on my own with work in mind, I headed there and had a more upbeat day than I would have otherwise. There speaks the extrovert in me?

As a small aside—to give you an idea of how close all these places are to our house, I walked to all of the above places today and have only walked 1.7 km! Our house is crazily convenient to so many  places, and yet, not in the middle of commercial or high rise buildings. It's hard to believe, even after we've lived here for nearly seven years.

At 4.30 my computer, that I hadn't plugged in, had almost run out of battery power, so I came home. I got little more non-household work done at home, though, as the rest of the household gradually returned home also and I cooked dinner. Now I've had a shower and am just trying to finish off this blog post before I'm going to relax in my chair in the lounge room and watch another episode of the West Wing with David.

13 October, 2017

Risk-taking, or not

I don't see myself as a great risk taker. I like to plan and the prepare for possible risks. I don't like taking physical risks (and less so as I get older). I don't like taking financial risks. I've never taken out a large loan, never bought property. I like stability. I like predictability, within reason. I like Japan because it feels safe. Even though we have the threat of earthquakes and  volcanoes, of nuclear missiles, it still feels pretty safe compared to many countries God could have sent us to.

But some people, looking at me and my life would consider that I am a risk taker. After all, living on what people give is a risk, isn't it? Choosing to raise my family in another country is a risk, one would think. Deciding that I'm willing to follow where God leads me, that's risky too—on the surface. But I don't feel this so often. Maybe because God's led us to a place where he's kept us for a lengthy period of time (in missionary terms, we've been at CAJ for twelve and a half years and in this house for eight of those). Maybe what we're doing has become so normal to us that we don't notice that others might feel the risk.

Really, the biggest risk factor I feel regularly in this lifestyle is investing in friendships. They are one of the least stable things in my life and one of the things that I value highly. Investing in friends is risky because I don't know how long I will have that friend. I know the pain of having many absent friends. Leaving Australia the first time was hard, but leaving it again and again is, possibly, harder. Then the friends I make here also have a tendency to leave!

I really enjoyed camping with friends this week. We've only known them for 2 and a bit years, but I was tempted to think, "Wouldn't it be great if we could go camping with these guys when all our kids have left home . . . " but I nipped that one quickly. That's about 11 years away, and I can't count on them still being here in 11 years. It seems as though we might be here in 11 years, but only God knows.

However, I've been reminded several times this week that I don't need to be afraid. That really, it is just from my limited perspective that things are uncertain. Nothing catches God by surprise, nothing is out of his control. Though we might question what he's doing, that's a human perspective problem. And God is with us through whatever things we fear that come about. But fearing them is not drawing us closer to go, in fact it does the opposite.

These words from the hymn Amazing Grace were brought to my attention in a sermon this week:
’Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,And grace my fears relieved;
When we know God (and 'fear' him in terms of being in complete awe of him), our fears of anything else are taken away. I know that that's never completely true till we're in heaven, but —as we grow in our faith and fear of God—our fear of other things gradually dissipates.  
There is no fear in love. But perfect love [i.e. God's love] drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. (1 John 4:18 NIV)
This post was inspired by the theme of Risk on Velvet Ashes' prompt: The Grove and this article specifically. And here's another post on risk in relationships on the mission field, though differently slanted to mine.

12 October, 2017

Strange orange and black season

This is a strange season for us, in Japan. No, not autumn (or "Fall" as I keep hearing), but Halloween. It wasn't a part of my growing up years and is not a part of our family's traditions. Until recently it wasn't a part of Japan's traditions either. But in the last few years it has appeared everywhere in the shops.

But there is a strange mixing in of the American Thanksgiving traditions too. Yesterday I saw two traditional style pumpkins with the sign (in English) inviting people to buy them and carve them themselves.

A couple of weeks ago we went to biggest local shopping centre for David's birthday and found a couple of big displays. One was a purple and orange Halloween balloon sculpture about three metres high that was stylised as a photo booth (with costumes provided). Just near it was another that included these fake pumpkins. Strangely, they also have Bible verses on them.

And yesterday at a grocery story I came across "Herbs for Halloween". They look like baby spinach. I haven't heard of Halloween being associated with herbs or salad before!

Japanese love seasonal celebrations, even if they don't understand what the season means. December will be full of Christmas decorations, even though few people actually know what it means or celebrate it personally. Easter is also starting to show up in shops. So it doesn't surprise me that Halloween has become big here, at least in the shops. I haven't heard of "Trick or Treat" becoming popular and this post predicts that it will remain an adult-only, commercial event.

Here is a video from 2014 at a popular spot for big street parties (Shibuya crossing):

Japanese also have a tradition of celebrating ghost stories, more so than I've seen in Australia. This page lists ten famous Japanese ghost stories. 

11 October, 2017

October camping trip

We came back yesterday from our first ever October camping trip. It was also the first time we'd camped in Nagano Prefecture, though not the first time we'd stayed overnight in that prefecture (the OMF holiday house we stay in at Christmas is in Nagano Prefecture, but on the other side of some significant mountains).

So we weren't quite sure what to expect. October has quite variable weather in this part of the world. On Friday it was grey, rainy, and cool (under 20C) in Tokyo. Plus, it's not that long since we camped in the snow last November and so we were determined not to be caught unawares regarding cold.

We caught some amazing weather, though. Blue skies and warm weather. Yesterday was so warm that I was wishing I'd packed shorts and another t-shirt. Jeans and a 3/4 sleeve shirt was too warm.

It was so delightful that it was difficult to come home. I've struggled to get into work today, longing to be still out there camping!

Here are some (actually quite a lot of) photos for your enjoyment.

We camped down the road from a small lake (or big pond) called Lake Tateshina.

Two tents, two cars, and a common dining shelter.

The camping area was surrounded by cabins, unfortunately. I prefer a more natural outlook when camping! It also turned out more expensive than we're usually happy to pay. There were a number of charges that weren't on the website.

The facilities weren't fantastic, either. This is the edge of the ablutions block. Not showing the toilets here, they were horrid. Thankfully we discovered a nicer toilet block further up the hill, but not until our second night.

Our youngest enjoyed hanging out with the two youngest children of our friends. They spent a lot of time searching for golf balls in the adjacent bush which separated us from local golf course. They found about 40, but kept only about 15. Here two of them are enjoying hanging out on our friends' hammock.

Sun setting over our camp kitchen.

We found this large fern near the showers.

This is Lake Tateshina.

Adjacent to the lake was an Art Park. We ran out of time to explore it fully, but it was pleasant to stroll through (if you didn't spend much time looking at the naked women statues).

We discovered that the art park was illuminated at night time, so we went back after dinner on Monday night.

In the morning, most of our party got out on the water for a while in various boats.

Autumn colours are appearing here and there.

Lots of dragonflies!

I've got no idea what this is, but I found it on the edge of the car park at the campsite.

Lots of campfires! One of my favourite parts of camp.

On the way home we stopped at our favourite apple farm and bought cheap, but utterly delicious apples.

07 October, 2017

Secret struggle of women

One of the secret struggles of most women is comparison. It's a struggle for missionaries too. I wrote a bit about it here (though the main issue talked about was struggle with David being absent when the boys were younger) and here, when I wrote about discovering my "sweet spot" and how that came out of a period of negative comparison with other missionaries.

I struggle with it often, especially in the area of Japanese language ability, but other areas too. I think I've probably improved a bit over the years as I've discovered how God's gifted me and he's given me roles to play in Japan that have been satisfying, but it's still there. Indeed, the mini retreat I did a couple of weeks was partly dealing with the toxicity of comparison that I'd allowed into my thoughts recently.

When you first become a missionary you have your own ideas of what a missionary is like and you also look around at other missionaries to learn what they are like and, presumably, what you should aim to become. It's both a helpful and a toxic activity. Yes, it's good to be inspired by those around us and learn from them. But too often we get skewed one way or the other: either to pride (I'm doing much better than her) or to being down on ourselves I'm so bad compared to her or I wish I was as good at her at...

I edited an excellent short article about this for the Japan Harvest magazine earlier this year. You can find it here.
Comparison tempered by humility gives us a proper view of ourselves in relationship to others, which can keep us from falling into sin. (From the JH article just mentioned.)
Recently I read another article by a missionary about a time she particularly struggled with this, it turns out to be a fairly old article, but still oh so relevant: Frumpy, grumpy, and useless.

I need to keep my eyes on Jesus, remembering that he made me and nothing he makes is bad. Indeed he made me for a reason and with a purpose in mind. One that is different to every other person I meet.
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverancethe race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith". (Hebrews 12:1-2 NIV).
But now I need to go and pack my bag for camping tomorrow. It will be so good to get away from this computer and all the tasks that it holds!

06 October, 2017

A mid-autumm camping trip

Last time we packed up our camping gear in July we wondered if we would have another chance to camp before we go to Australia next year. And, we threw away our big, well-used tent, because it had too many holes to mend. We bought another, smaller one, because we thought the chance of the five of us all camping together in Japan again soon was slim. But then we realised that there was this weekend in October, with no cross-country meet and two full days off school with no responsibilities. So we decided to run away for rare mid-autumn camping trip.

However, this tent trial showed us that the new (secondhand) tent we'd bought was in good shape, but too small for five to sleep in comfort. We did have a second tent, but the tent trial showed us it was actually in really bad nick and also had to be thrown out.

So, for this trip we have borrowed a large tent which is similar in size to what we've used before. 

We're also going camping with friends this time. This is our third camping trip with these friends, we really enjoy camping with them. It's really great to camp with others sometimes. Here are some reasons why:

1. Even if our children are not exactly the same ages, they'll help entertain one another, which (hopefully) frees up the adults to relax.
2. Cooking and washing up gets shared, so there feels like there's less work.
3. It's great fellowship time. In the busyness of life, it isn't easy to find time to sit and be with others. Camping provides that time (as long as you don't try to overachieve by cramming your schedule full or camping for too short a time).
4. And the secret ingredient: it helps us all to be on better behaviour! Adding in not-family, and people step their game up a little (not pointing any fingers to any teenagers here...).

Maybe you've guessed, but we've pretty much decided that camping at the end of November is too difficult with the gear we have. It's too cold. We've been there and done it, and I think the snow at last year's late November camp did our resolve in on this family tradition. It makes for good memories, and we've called a halt to making more such family memories!

This will be a new campsite for us in a newish area for us. Yay, another chance to explore a different part of this gorgeous country. It's a bit further down the valley than the camps we did in November for a few years, so should be beautiful. But instead of being on the side of a mountain, it's on a highland area, about 1,200m above sea level. Thankfully the weather forecast is showing dry and fairly warm temperatures (low 20Cs during the day and low double figures at night). So I will be packing warm clothes, but it won't be extremely cold.

We're leaving after church on Sunday and will be back on Tuesday, so keep your eyes peeled for a post mid-next week to see how it all went.

04 October, 2017

Fellowship that just makes you thirstier

Last year this week I wrote a post called Empty Chairs about the annual missionary women prayer and fellowship event that I went to yesterday. I've just reread it and it still holds true, though I wasn't as sad yesterday as I was last year. There will always be friends missing from my life, more than if I'd never gone overseas. But I think I'm in a better spot than I was this time last year about that fact, at least just now I am.

It was good yesterday to catch up with a couple of friends who I haven't seen in longer than a year or two. One of whom has now moved to Tokyo and I've got the prospect of seeing her more often, though she still lives 1 ½ hrs away!

It was good too, to help seven other ladies get to this meeting. We got another three hours of "hanging out" just by riding together in my van. I love that.

I'm really glad that I spent time last week just me, my Bible, and the Lord. That made yesterday easier. Sometimes I find these group-directed events don't necessarily meet me where I'm at. I still remember just a week or so after the big floods in south east Queensland I went to a prayer meeting here where one phrase that came up a few times was "flooding". It was supposed to be in a positive way (eg. pour out your Spirit upon me, Lord), but it was a negative trigger word for me at the time. (As an aside, it is interesting that the word "flood" is almost entirely negative in the Bible, the use of it as a positive word in worship songs is a modern thing.)

These "one-day" events often feel too short for me. You spend a lot of time getting there and getting home and the time spent actually being present is not so long. Yesterday we were there a good five hours (with only three hours of travel for our group), which is good, but it still felt short.

One thing, I think, that makes it feel short is that you're having a lot of short, sometimes random interactions with a variety of people who you've known for a varying length of time. I find it's a bit unsatisfying to have short conversations with some. Yet there were other conversations that couldn't end fast enough (Trump...really?).

After lunch was a couple of hours of free time. Many of us went for a walk in the local area. I joined the group that went to this delightful forest just down the road.

The weather was warm (about 27 degrees Celsius), unseasonably warm, actually. So it was delightful to be outdoors. Even more exciting to be only 28km from home and be on the edge of the mountains and the forests that live on them. This is the area where our eldest son is hiking and camping these four days.

I am, however, really glad that we're going camping with friends this weekend. I'll get a decent dose of the two things that yesterday just made me thirsty for: gorgeous nature and deep fellowship. 

Oh hang on, did I tell you that we're going camping? I don't think I've mentioned it here. But that's another post on its own . . . some time before we go.

02 October, 2017

My weekend

I barely sat down on Saturday. Then yesterday afternoon I took a welcome break for a few hours after lunch before I did some boy-ferrying in the car (for a local friend's party) and got our prayer letter out. All-in-all, it was a pretty busy weekend.

Saturday was cross-country for the fifth Saturday in a row. We have next Saturday off and I'm looking forward to a sleep-in!

I took some more photos of the WW2 remains that are everywhere in the place where the cross country is held. This is a concrete ammunition bunker (the photo below gives more details, the plaque was next to the bunker). They stored ammunition here in WW2. 

Next to the bunker was a log with this intriguing fungi growing on it.

It was a fairly short meet, so we were home soon after 12 (a lot shorter than a wrestling or track and field meet!). At 1 I took off again, this time to a very different venue. From a place where few people go, to a place that, it seems, everyone was!

I met my two Bible story/study friends (yes, we're still meeting 11 months later). They wanted to meet at Harujuku, which is a swanky part of Tokyo. Very popular spot too! I've only been there a couple of times previously and there are always crowds.

One of the ladies used to live in New Zealand (she is, however, Taiwanese). She discovered pavlovas there (an Australian/New Zealand version of meringue that is served with cream and fruit). Her adult daughter found a restaurant in Tokyo that serves pavlova and went there a while ago. She recommended her mum check it out. So that is how we ended up in a restaurant that charged a wee bit more than I'd usually be willing to pay for coffee and dessert! We weren't disappointed by the taste, though, it was delicious.

Glamorous, though it was, I did do a lot of standing. I stood on the train all the way (only 35 minutes), and then we stood in line for about 45 minutes to get a seat. I stood most of the way home too. However the cool thing about travelling around by train in Tokyo is that you get lots of steps and stairs in without trying hard at all. Altogether, with the walking we did at cross country, I walked 5.8 km and did 23 "flights of stairs" according to the Health app on my phone.

From another perspective, it is strange to me, doing a Bible study in a fancy (but noisy) restaurant. The line didn't disappear while we were there. I do admit to feeling a bit pressed as we studied the Bible, knowing that we were sitting in seats that other people were waiting for.

This Bible study (with two non-Japanese ladies who are working in Japanese companies) is as good for me as it is for them. Life isn't easy for either of them. Getting Christian fellowship is challenging for them too. I'm grateful to be able to help them and encourage them, not to mentioned help us all learn stories from the Bible more deeply. It's good for me to go outside what I usually do, and this is definitely that (I have to admit that it feels more like what a "real"missionary would do: go out and do a Bible study with someone). Hearing their perspectives on life and working in Japan is good for me to grow in understanding. Many of my friends are missionaries, it's good to be friends with a couple of ladies who are different to me and stretch me.

01 October, 2017

A local scene

I captured this scene on my way home from meeting a couple of Japanese friends on Friday. 

This family I've seen for years walking their dogs. First it was the elderly man and his wife walking a beautifully-kept, elderly, large dog. They could often be seen urging a reluctant-to-move the fluffy white dog from the spot where he'd stopped in the middle of the road. Then sometime in the last couple of years the dog disappeared from these walks and I haven't seen the elderly man in ages either. Now most often I see the elderly woman and their son walking a younger, more energetic dog.

What caught my attention this day was that when I first saw them they'd stopped to greet the dog on the other side of that wall (you can just see his/her head on the right, just out of the shadow). This is the most extroverted dog in my neighbourhood. It is very common to see someone leaning over this wall and chatting to the dog, or to walk past and see the dog with his/her nose poking out looking for people to talk to. Granted there is plenty of foot traffic. A kindergarten is about 20m down the road and a little further away a swimming school and a primary school. But still . . . 

When I come face to face with this couple I exchange greetings. But they're always pushing onwards, walking their dog. It doesn't take much to imagine that their days revolve around their dog and taking that walk.

There are a lot of lonely people in Japan. I'm glad this family has each other, and their dog. But my heart aches for those who have no one. I long that they would know Jesus and have a church family to lean on.

29 September, 2017

A question of ageing

I did it again today: I had to do maths to figure out which number in my 40s belongs to me right now! This is something that younger people find hard to believe, but it does happen. Yes, I'm middle aged now! No denying that.
So young! In my mid-20s.

I was talking to a married friend recently who is also in her 40s, but a couple of years behind me. She told me that she'd been troubled on her birthday this year. She raised a question I hadn't thought specifically about before: 
How should we approach our mid-life in a godly way? What are good thought patterns in the face of the realisation that our bodies are ageing (though by no means old) and that we are no longer young?
There is a grief inherent, even in your 40s, about not being young anymore and the relentlessness of ageing.

Of course I've thought about the fact that I'm not young anymore. But when married women talk about this stage of life, we tend to talk about—grief about not having young children anymore, grief at children moving out of home, learning to cope with couple-dom again, coping with young children even though you are older, menopause, ageing parents, busyness of life, the physical changes that come, mentoring/coaching younger women, childless-ness, mid-life crisis, raising teenagers, etc.

But not about how to think about ageing, or how to approach it in a godly way.

I did some quick online searching and there's stuff about the above topics too, but I struggled to find anything (quickly) on this topic.

I have some half-formed thoughts, but I know that there are quite a few of you out there who read this who are a similar age, or older. And so I'm putting this out there for you to contribute your thoughts. Have you got a good book recommendation? What has helped you as you've moved into your 40s or 50s? What advice can you give?

And please, I know that women who are older than us will be tempted to say, "But you aren't old..." Please don't. We know we aren't as old as you. We're just trying to make sense of where we are and that where you are, we will be some day soon.

28 September, 2017

A lost gem

This afternoon I'm going on a regretful journey with my husband. We'll be searching for a jeweler who will repair my precious engagement ring. About ten days ago I discovered that one of the diamonds had fallen out. Who knows where? I'd just returned from Manila, but it had been some time since I looked directly at it.

I love this ring, I've never seen another exactly the same. I'm acutely aware that it is just a thing and that the relationship it represents is far more precious and quite irreplaceable. But still, I love the ring.

27 September, 2017

Making and keeping connections with others

Making connections and maintaining them is really hard when you live as we do—away from many who love us as well as in a very mobile, very busy expat community. It's a topic that often comes up on two of the Christian expat communities that I keep an eye on: Velvet Ashes and Thrive Connection.

Velvet Ashes has published two articles recently that resounded with me, so I'm passing them on, in the hope that they may either help you, or help you understand the challenges we face:
Here's a friend who's taken a piece of my heart to
Singapore this year.

8 ways to make real connections with others

This article gives some good suggestions. I don't think they are all helpful for everyone, but you never know which might be helpful for you. 

I especially am challenged by number two: be courageous. I know that in general it tends to get harder to make new friends as you get older, but the rate at which we have to do it is high. Not to mention that we don't know how long we will have these friends that we've invested in, so it takes courage to put yourself out there again and again.

Number four is hard: teach others how you communicate. I think people have figured out that I'm a prolific communicator, but that doesn't mean that they have learnt to connect to me. I feel quite disconnected from many in Australia. When I see them, I'll probably connect to them quite quickly, but in the vacuum of communication, I sometimes wonder if they still consider me a friend. I wonder what's going on in their lives. 
Just the other day one of my boys reminisced about this outing
 in Australia 2½ yrs ago. The memory is full of friends we miss.

Please, friends, don't feel too guilty here. I don't expect communication to the level that I've pushed it with my blog and Facebook and our newsletters, and I know that you are busy. I'm busy too . . . too busy to maintain dozens of close relationships that require the sort of upkeep required for a long-distance friendship. I think that is one reason I'm attracted so much to social media. I can maintain connections with people I don't see in my regular life without too much additional work. I also know that a lot of people struggle to maintain friendships that aren't face-to-face. But I did want to put it out there that I struggle sometimes.

Keeping track of sorrows

This article talks about the grief of never being fully known. There is much underlying grief in the missionary lifestyle and one is this, that no matter where we live in the future, no one (barring perhaps a spouse) will ever have been a part of most of our daily or weekly lives for much of our lives. I know that's true more and more as people all over the world become more mobile. But I think that as missionaries (and those in the armed forces too), as we interact within very mobile communities, we end up with bits of our hearts spread all over the globe. That is hard.

Another website A Life Overseas published this article last week: The five people who shape you the most that touches on the expat's frustration that the people who we would spend the most time with are never all in the same place at the same time.

And one more recent article that touches on this topic: A love letter to my expat friends, also published by A Life Overseas.

However, despite all this, I'm encouraged by this paragraph in the Keeping track of sorrows article: 
Psalm 56:8 (NLT) says, “You [God] keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” Every step we take is not only observed but also thought worthy of counting and recording. He remembers every detail and recognizes our grief as a real thing. David, the Psalmist, fully trusted God with his future, and still let his tears flow. He knew God was compassionate and was not embarrassed by his own tears.