I'm pondering grudges and bad memories. When are they different? It is impossible to forget by force of will. I think they've even proven that. So when someone has said or done something that has hurt you, it is very difficult to forget. Perhaps it falls under God's job - to soothe and remove those memories.
I have bad memories of things people have said about my parenting, for example. Does that fall under the realm of a sin or a grudge? What can I do about it? I know I can ask God to help me forgive them, but the memory of that pain remains, at least in my experience it seems to.
One of the things that caused trouble in my life last week was a bad memory. A memory of criticism of my parenting that flared up when similar words of criticism were directed my way by the same person (but not about my parenting). I flared in anger. Does this mean I was holding a grudge? I don't know. Actually my emotions flare every time someone criticises my parenting. Am I too sensitive? I don't know. Is that a sin? I don't know. How do I get a thicker skin? I don't know.
Oh, this old world. This faulty, sinful body. Sometimes I really long for heaven when all these unknowns and pains will be gone and there'll be no more tears. No more broken relationships. No more bad memories to haunt our thoughts.By the way, I'm revisiting this book on the subject of Self-talk. Great book. I don't have many books on my shelf due to our mobile lifestyle (and small housing), but I'm glad I have this one.
4 comments:
Fortunately I haven't had to deal with too many criticisms of my parenting. When it has come up, I just looked at the person who has made the criticism (and their kids!) and thought "nah, I'm not taking that on board". I think it would have to be pretty extreme before I would criticise another parent; after all we are all doing the best we can!
BTW Wendy have you read the book "My Seventh Monsoon" by Naomi Reed. I've just finished it and really enjoyed it. Thought of you many times as I read - Naomi is a missionary in Nepal - much of what she spoke about reminded me of our chats when we were in the Phillippines together.
I cannot tell you who did this because it would break a confidence, however some people feel they have the right to interfere, it seems.
Yes, I have read that book and two others of hers too. I too felt very drawn to her. Allied health, mum of three boys, missionary, Australian. So much in common. I did email her to thank her for writing the book too.
Oh wow! I didn't know she'd written more. I will have to look for them now!
Check out Naomi's website here: http://www.naomireed.info/
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