Seasonal confusion

The shadow of me at the beach on Saturday

Over the years I’ve mentioned that I get confused about seasons…

Here’s an example: we’re in the middle of school starting in Australia. Everyone is posting “first/second/third/last-first day of school” photos. I didn’t think it would really be that big a deal for us, who have no one starting school (not even as a teacher), but there’s no avoiding it all around us. 

Of course I also see this on social media when I'm in Japan, but it makes less of an impact when we're there. Driving around at 3pm this week has been different to the preceding six weeks, with all the school speed zones activate again (the rule here is you have to drive 40 km/hr in designated and signed school zones between certain hours, the hours that kids are arriving and leaving school). Shops and TV ads are full of "back to school" stuff.

At our local supermarket...one
 of many signs of the season

But our youngest is starting uni next month and various preparations for that are taking place. So in some ways, we're in "starting the new education year" mode, but not as intensely as when we had kids at school.

All of that has overflowed into my thinking. The other day, I was idly pondering CAJ in Japan (where our kids went to school) and wondering about how the cross-country season was starting up—something that happens at the start of the school year there. Only trouble is that though cross-country season starts at the start of the school year, that is September! Yep, I’m confused. I'm sitting here in summer clothing, seeing many of my northern hemisphere friends in the depths of winter, and watching cricket (a summer sport). And it messes with my brain. 

But to confuse things even more we watched some live wrestling the other day too, a live stream from CAJ where they were holding the Kanto finals tournament. Something that definitely happens in winter, and in January!

This is all a bit like when there’s a public holiday and you’ve got no clear idea what day of the week it is and have to think carefully if you’re pressed for an answer. It's not quite as bad the mind fog between Christmas and New Year, but similar.

So, once again, I look and sound like I belong in Australia, but inside my head it isn't quite the same. The other day I mentioned to a long-term friend that, though we've here six months, I still feel only partly here and still partly there. She wasn't surprised; she thought that after 23 years of this life it was to be expected!

If you encounter me in the wild . . . be gentle :-D

Figuring out what God wants me to do

A close friend recently sent me a link to a very helpful Facebook post. It’s written by Martyn Iles, an Australia Christian who has had an unusually public profile in recent years (in Australia Christians don’t typically get much press). Who he is isn’t as important as the wise things he’s written, so I won’t write any more about him. He wrote this in a Facebook post, but sharing a Facebook post is only helpful if someone has a Facebook profile, so I’ve copied the text here (for my future reference, if nothing else):

How can I know what God would have me do?

When I speak to people personally, some variant of this question is possibly the most common question I am asked.

There is a four principled decision making framework which has never failed me yet.

Importantly, all four principles are to be discerned in the context of sincere prayer about the decision.

1. Circumstances

Your circumstances will change (or not), without your manipulation or control, in a way that enables or reveals the right course of action. Because God is sovereign and works providentially.

2. Scripture

If you are a habitual student of scripture, it is likely that your reading and study will speak into your circumstances in a way that confirms the right course of action. Because God speaks to us reliably in His word.

3. Peace

It may take time - it's often the final confirmation - but ultimately you will be at peace about the right decision. That is to say, it may be hard or daunting, but your conscience will quietly confirm it. Because the Spirit of God works in our conscience.

4. Patience

Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait!!!! STOP RUSHING! The scriptures are packed full with exhortations to "wait on the Lord." There are countless examples of God's slowness in the face of our hurry. Learn the discipline of patience or you will constantly make bad decisions. And you will *never* be worse off, or miss out, because you were patient. If you do, it just means it was never meant to be.

Now, you can be mistaken on one of the above - misreading circumstances, wrongly applying scripture, etc - but it is utterly unusual to be wrong about all four at the same time, especially in the context of patience and prayer.

When all four line up, that tends to be when I act. But often they don't, so I simply resist action, which is very hard.

Now, for matters of very great importance, I may have thought that all four principles were in alignment, yet the gravity of the decision was such that I was still reticent to make it.

In such circumstances, you can do a Gideon. You can pray for special confirmation and clarity - a "fleece." In His grace, God is ordinarily willing to provide it.

The alternative to the above is to plan your own way and make your own decisions, and expect God to catch up. That simply is not a life of faith. (End of the quote)

_____________

(Very annoyed right now because I've just lost several paragraphs here that I'd written here the other day...so on to to remembering what I wrote...)

What we see on earth is but a poor reflection of
what's truly going on (a much worse image than
we see here in a photo of the pond in the Japanese
garden at Mt Coot-tha).

I imagine that many people think that the decision of becoming a missionary must be one of the biggest we've ever made and that other decisions would be easy in comparison. While I could write much about the original decision, I will just say that there have been quite a number of times since then where decision making (and waiting for God's plan) has been hard.

A sample of times when this has seemed especially true in the last 25 years:

• When we were working towards to come to Japan and it took longer than we’d hoped
• When there was no teaching position for David in Japan for five years after we made ourselves available for that
• When my Japanese language ability never made it to a level suitable for working in it
• When I spent more time with sick kids than in doing any kind of outside ministry (or language learning) in our first term in Japan
• When our attempts to help our eldest learn Japanese language and culture by enrolling him in a Japanese primary school failed (we had to move him out after just 15 months)
• When we nearly didn’t get back to Japan in a timely fashion five years ago due to financial reasons
• When one of our sons encountered difficulties significant enough to derail our plan of moving him to Australia in 2021

Right now, as I've mentioned before, we're walking through the situation of seeking affordable rental accommodation for our younger two sons so that they can carry on their lives here while we head back to Japan. For various reasons we want to do that sooner rather than later.

What adds to the difficulty of this is not just that the rental system is under great stress here, but that our "public" lives mean that we've asked lots of people to pray about it, including our church. And people keep wanting updates. I want to jump straight to the end of the chapter and tell them a "success" story . . . but it's taking a while.

I really appreciated the wise older gentleman in our church who asked me last month, "Are you making progress?" 

This was a gentle and discerning way to ask and I could answer a wholehearted "YES". I felt encouraged, rather than needing to explain where we were up to and why we hadn't "succeeded" yet.

Back to the earlier quote, I really appreciate the emphasis on "wait". I am not naturally good at that, in general I tend to barrel ahead at considerable speed. Though I'd have to say that I have grown in this area in the decades since I became an adult. This particular waiting seems to be trying my patience and trust in God more than usual. But I'm trying hard to keep my eyes on Jesus.

I had coffee with a new friend this morning and we reflected on how we often don't know why God is doing something, or what his timing is, but we need to trust him regardless because he's so much wiser, more loving, and more powerful than us. That his thinking isn't the same as ours is clearly seen throughout the Bible, but perhaps no clearer than in the book of Job.

Here are a couple of verses I found along this line:

God’s voice thunders in marvellous ways; he does great things beyond our understanding.  (Jobe 27:5 NIV)

‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.' (Is. 55:8–9)

So, we still await the end of this chapter of transitioning our sons to accommodation separate from us. It's going to be a good one! I can't wait to tell you about it!

Retirement planning!

January is turning into quite a social month, as many people have a little more free time before school and many other activities start in a week or so. I’ve struggled to find time to write this week, but do have a post I started before Christmas that didn’t seem quite festive enough at the time. So here it is:

We've been working on longer-term financial planning these last few months. We do short-term financial planning each year as our mission requires us to put together a budget, which gives a set support figure to judge how our support is going. This is a complex, but helpful process that means we're using our resources responsibly, and anticipating future (near) needs as best we can, for example the need to fly to home assignment, or to go to a conference, or buy “new” furniture or a car after home assignment, or replace our aging computer. All these things are budgeted for well in advance. Australia is more expensive than Japan these days, so we budget for our living expenses over several years preceding each home assignment.

We don’t have much of a garden: in
many ways this is a blessing because
it doesn’t take much of our time, so
we’re freed up to devote ourselves to
other things. We do get to enjoy gardens
that other people maintain, though, also 
known as parks!

But as we've both entered our 50s this last term, we decided it would be good to talk to a financial planner about the longer-term future. We wanted an expert's opinion on how are things looking for a retirement in Australia sometime before we hit 70.

Well, we've been very encouraged. We found a Christian who has given us a significant discount for his assistance. And he's given us reassurance that, from what he can see and what he knows, from a worldly perspective, we'll be okay. Of course we have no idea what God will provide, but look forward to seeing that too!

It's at this point that we're very thankful that God led us to be part of a mission organisation that takes long-term member care seriously. And also that we live in a country where financial planning for the future is also taken seriously. So, both of us have had the organisations we've worked for contributing to our superannuation funds (US readers: similar to 401(k)) since we started working in our early 20s, yes, even when we've been working overseas, and these funds are adding up.

This part of life not something missionaries talk about very much. Most people only hear about finance from missionaries when they are in need of more financial support for the immediate future.

But also, in mission circles there is also an understanding that God provides in amazing ways that you can't anticipate. He has been providing for us for the last 23 years, why wouldn't he provide for us in the future, and into retirement too?

It's pretty obvious to us, as we come back each time, that most of our peers are doing things like buying houses, some even getting to the point of finishing paying off their mortgage. We don't own any property. The biggest thing we own is a car. We can't afford to buy real estate in Australia, partly because most of the time we can't live in a house we'd buy in Australia. But we also shy away from the anxieties that arise from owning property in a country where you don't live and from the stress of a mortgage. We've seen the stress that that can cause missionaries (maintenance issues, complex financial affairs that are hard to deal with remotely, tenant issue, etc.).

It’s easy to start to rely on the figures on a spreadsheet though, to trust in that, instead of our Heavenly Father. God has ways of reminding of us of that. But the best thing to do, when we’re distracted by all the dialogue around us (in the media as well as in conversation with friends) about real estate, mortgages, money, banks, stuff to buy, etc, is to go back to God’s word. One of the places Jesus directly addressed these things is in Matthew 6 where he said:

So do not worry, saying, “What shall we eat?” or “What shall we drink?” or “What shall we wear?”  For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

We’re grateful we don’t have much stuff to take up a lot of our time to maintain, but it’s in the mental zone that we need to fight the battle not to worry (at least it is for me).

Looking ahead to 2024

Image by Gordon Johnson from Pixabay

It is my habit at the start of January to look ahead to the next 12 months in my first blog post of the year. Of course I can't predict what will happen or how it will turn out! And what better reminder of that uncertainty when we watch Japan live through more disasters only hours after we've wished everyone a "happy new year"!

Despite that, it's useful to both look ahead and also look back. 

One example of how this reflecting and anticipating can help is that when I look back at this time last year I remember that 2023 looked like a lot of hard work. Plus there were lots of things that we really didn't know how we were going to achieve and I felt anxious about. But now that the year is over I realise that we did make it through all of that, with God's help. Yes it was hard, but also there were good surprises along the way (like the house we're living in and the furniture we're using) and many of the disasters that I imagined never occurred. With this in mind I can approach 2024 knowing that, though there's hard work ahead and some things that seem impossible, time next year I'll hopefully be able to look back and have the same realisation: that God's walked with us through it all and provided all that we've needed.

We see it in the Bible too: God encouraged the Israelites to look back at what he'd done for them in the past and to trust that he'll work again on their behalf in the future. This is stated very clearly in Deuteronomy 7:

You may say to yourselves, ‘These nations are stronger than we are. How can we drive them out?’ But do not be afraid of them; remember well what the Lord your God did to Pharaoh and to all Egypt. You saw with your own eyes the great trials, the signs and wonders, the mighty hand and outstretched arm, with which the Lord your God brought you out. The Lord your God will do the same to all the peoples you now fear. (vv. 17–19 NIV)

It's also a theme in the New Testament. Jesus told his disciples in the Last Supper to remember him by doing this (which is where the Lord's Supper we celebrate in churches today comes from). In the book of Hebrews we're encouraged to persevere in the faith, backed up by a lengthy list of those who have gone before us (who didn't even know the story of Jesus). 

So remembering the past can help us as we face the future. Given what I reflected on last week in my end of year blog post, I certainly will be trying to be more serious about not worrying.

I noticed a small thing in this passage I was listening to the other day:

Then Jesus said to his disciples: ‘Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: they do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?' (Luke 12:23–26 NIV UK)

We think that by worrying we can extend our lives (or the lives of others), but that's obviously not God's perspective. From his perspective adding an hour to our lives is a "very little thing". The difference between us and God is so huge and he understands that better than we do! So, since I can't even do this very little thing, I think that giving up worrying is a worthy goal, not just for 2024, but for the rest of my life. I'm certain that I will fail again and again, but with God's help I surely can improve on what I've done up till now!

Coming months

The coming couple of months probably includes us moving into the era of couple-dom again. I'm actively avoiding the usual term for this stage. We'll be parents of independently living adults, which is what we've been working towards for the last 24 years!

 It's a stage that is worth acknowledging, but also a stage that is full of so much potential and not just "emptiness". But obviously a huge change from living with our guys and interacting with them on a daily basis, so it will be an adjustment that will take some time.

Our hope and plan is to return to Japan in July to the roles we had there last year (or approximately those roles, some changes will hopefully come to pass). Before then we have some travel planned in Australia, including a big trip to take advantage of Australia's amazing long-service provision (paid leave to reward a long period of service with the same organisation). You will hear plenty about that as I hope to write an online diary of our travels like I have for our long camping journeys in the past.

As for what happens after July? When we get back to Japan we plan to move into a small apartment near the school in western Tokyo. Yes, we've already seen this apartment (first time we've seen a future place of accommodation in person since 2005)! And we are looking forward to having fun exploring all sorts of new possibilities that being a couple provides. We first arrived in Japan in 2000 with a 20-month old and have done our entire missionary journey overseas with children in our care, so this is indeed a very new chapter.

It's another year that involves a long, multi-stage international move, though it's always physically easier moving out of Australia because we haven't been here so long and have less stuff. Much of the larger items we use go back to owners or find new owners. We haven't moved into a new house in Japan in 14 years, though, so that will be different, but moving without little children is definitely easier (even if we'll be missing the strength of our young adult sons).

Sadly it's another year that involves many goodbyes. But there are also many who we're looking forward to seeing again in Japan. It's never easy emotionally for me to move, and saying goodbye to Australia is an act of the will, rather than an overly eager spirit.

Many things I did in 2023 I will continue to do in 2024. This was my list from 12 months ago:

• regularly walk with my husband (I averaged about 2.5 km a day last year)
• study Japanese
• read lots of books
• listen to English sermons at least once a week
• stay in touch with close friends regularly, and when I can, in person
• bake
• writing

Much of this remains true of my intentions for 2024, I don't have as much time alone in Australia, so I listen to less podcasts and sermons (and get an English sermon in person most Sundays). I don't have a current writing project or specific writing goal for 2024, though have submitted an application to be part of a writing team for the year . . . I haven't heard back on that yet, so we'll see. I've got vague prof. dev. reading goals while I'm in Australia, but again will try to read 100 books in the year (mostly fiction for relaxation, I read fast and rely on books to help me relax before sleeping). I mentioned 12 months ago that I'd picked up cross-stitch again, and I'm still working on that, but it's a complex design and I'm finding it slow going.

That's enough. I look ahead to 2024 with this:

I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.’ (Psalm 91:2 NIV)

Looking back at 2023

Ever since I stared writing here in 2009, I’ve been using this blog to reflect on the year just lived. For the last five years I’ve been using the same set of questions. These questions push me past the surface reflections, so they aren’t easy, but it’s a good exercise that I enjoy. They aren’t about what I’ve achieved in the year. I hope they might be a springboard for you to think about your own year too.

Christmas Day on the beach 2023

1. What makes this year unforgettable?

Some big changes this year for us mean this year will be a noteworthy year for the rest of our lives: 

• Our youngest son finished high school, that’s a huge milestone for our family after 20 years of children at school.
• We moved out of the house we’ve spent the most time in for our whole marriage, the house that our youngest son started kindergarten from.
• It wasn’t just a simple move, this move included downsizing and storing stuff for our year away from Japan.
• The move also marked the end of our younger two sons’ time in Japan. In July they moved to Australia with the intent of staying here, at least in the medium term, which is a huge change, considering one of them was born in Japan and the other moved there when he was less than three months old.

2. What did I enjoy doing this year?

We have just celebrated Christmas with both our birth families. It’s really different doing this with older kids, it was much calmer and more enjoyable than in times past.

It’s been enjoyable seeing our three sons, who are now all 18 and over, getting to know one another as adults. Being together in the same region for several months has been wonderful. Parenting is hard work and long work—it’s very satisfying seeing some reward for all the years of effort you’ve put into them as you watch them gain confidence and skills as they grow much more independent.

It’s been enjoyable spending more time with David these last few months. We’ve enjoyed lunches and occasionally other meals on our front deck in Ipswich (a beautiful view). Three weeks Perth without children was an interesting adventure that involved both work and play. It was fun to see glimpses of what’s not very far in our future, but that is really next week’s blog post.

I enjoyed watching my youngest son as he powered his way through the school’s wrestling season undefeated. After many years of injury interrupting his participation in this sport, I really didn’t expect him to do it at all, and then to achieve as well as he did was very satisfying. He went on from there to do really well in shot put and discus in the track and field season too. 

Going to two women’s retreats—one in March in Japan and one in October in Australia—with close friends was definitely enjoyable.

3. What/who is one thing/person I'm grateful for?

Of course I can’t limit it to just one person or thing. I’m grateful to a handful of precious friends who’ve walked alongside me this year. It’s not been an easy year and I’ve leaned on friends, not to mentioned David, heavily to stay afloat.

4. What did I read/watch/listen to that made the most impact this year?

I’ve read more than 100 books again this year, more in the second half of the year than the first. Undeceptions podcast continues to be a thought-provoking listen, though I haven’t listened to as much of that in the second half of the year with less alone time than I usually get in Japan.

Here are some of the books that made an impact

Trusting God by Jerry Bridges

Being Mortal by Atul Gawande

Sacred Siblings by Sue Eenigenberg and Suzy Grumelot

When God Doesn’t Answer Your Prayer by Jerry Sittser

5. What did I worry about most and how did it turn out?

There were many things that I worried about this year, including who to hand my work over to so we could leave Japan for a year and how we would find somewhere to live in Australia (the latter being a big concern because everywhere we turned people were telling us of horror stories about the rental crisis in Australia).

I split my jobs into multiple parts and handed them over in late May and early June. That part worked so well that I ended up with extra time to do preparation for work in Australia that I hadn’t planned for. Both of the publishing projects I managed (Japan Harvest magazine and OMF Japan’s social media) have continued onwards, so I guess I did okay in handing them over. But I know it wasn’t easy for those who have taken extra things on in my absence. It helped to remember that we had important work to do in Australia, even if I didn’t really want to make the effort to get there.

Our accommodation story is a lot easier to tell. We got a house really quickly, with the on-the-ground assistance of a lady from our home church who we’d never met in person. It’s been a really good find, with very little we can fault. Great landlords; beautiful, convenient location; and functionally just right. We also have all the furniture we need, including a large TV and fabulous fridge.

6. What is my biggest regret?

This is always a hard question. I think I regret all the time I spent worrying about the future. It’s a bad habit that is hard to break, and even now I’m struggling not to worry about the first half of 2024.

7. What's something that has changed about me?

I’m no longer the parent of a school-aged kid. I’m also no longer in my 40s. I’m also on the verge of having all my kids move out of home.

I feel more and more that I am a writer and editor and more often when pressed will describe myself as such these days.

8. What surprised me most this year?

Probably my answer to #5 covers a good portion of this. 

But in addition, I’ve been surprised this last week. I’ve been surprised by how “adult” all my boys have been. In the middle of last year we did a similar “tour” without the Christmas celebrations and extra family time thrown in, and it was much harder. They’ve all grown in maturity, which is a great joy to see in what amounts to a stressful situation (travel, sharing rooms, lots of people, many unspoken expectations, lack of routine etc.). Over the years of raising our kids, visiting family in Australia has always been stressful for a few reasons: they’ve rarely seen their Australian relatives, it always involves significant travel, they aren’t in their own environment and Australia was never really “home”, and they were energetic boys (the first grandsons on both sides). Maturity has helped a lot and that meant that this time around I didn’t have to spend much time at all being their advocates or working to keep the peace.

The other big surprise was quickly finding a government-funded program that accepted our neurodiverse son which has helped him do employment readiness and help him find a job (the end of that story is yet to be written, but we’re hopeful).

9. What Bible truths impacted me this year?

In the latter half of the year, reading Trusting God has been significant. I dipped my toe in with some ladies from church in a Bible study (when I could get there), then read it from front to back on my own. The book takes you back to basics about God’s sovereignty and love, and confronts you about how you live in light of these truths.

10. What meta-themes have I thought about this year? (in no particular order)

• Transition
• Aging
• Women and their roles (especially within Christian circles) and non-romantic relationships between Christians (see Sacred Siblings book).
• Whether God’s leading us to stay in Japan after 2023 (we think he is).
• Life with grown kids who don’t live at home anymore.
• Disability support in Australia.
• Downsizing.
• How Japan Harvest is produced and how that can be done with me less involved.

Highlights

• Our youngest finishing high school, especially his athletic achievements, but also seeing his persistence in working hard academically and the great friendships he had the privilege to be part of.
• All-Japan OMF conference in June was both exhausting and wonderful.
• Writing a series of six articles about the process of preparing for and going on home assignment for the US branch of our organisation, and also recording a discussion with a colleague about the same topic. All of this was published mid-year online.
• Being able to watch a lot of cricket, especially watching Australia unexpectedly win the semi-final and final of the one day international cricket World Cup (which involved staying up way past my usual bedtime twice in one week). Making it to two cricket matches in-person.
• Going to a symphony orchestra performance in person for my birthday.
• Visiting Rottnest Island in WA.
• Speaking at a women’s conference and “losing it” onstage as I tried to speak briefly about the long-term griefs that cross-cultural workers encounter. I put this as a highlight because, while it was very hard to do, it was true to myself and my desire to show others how ordinary missionaries are. But the other reason it’s a highlight is that the response was overwhelming, in a positive way. I had many conversations afterwards with women who understood (and were glad to hear someone tell this unspoken story), had their eyes opened, or who wanted to learn more.
• I think my blog post that got the most attention this year was “Neurodivergence and missionary families”. Maybe this doesn’t belong as a “highlight”?
• Camping in late March was lovely, unfortunately we’ve not be able to manage any other camping trips in 2023.

Lowlights

• Moving—I really don’t like moving, never have. And the anticipation of moving is almost as bad as the move itself.
• Watching our sons pack up their lives in the place they’ve grown up and say goodbye to friends and Japan.
• Walking alongside our son as he negotiated medical and other difficulties, and then trying to figure out how to help him start to forge a life in Australia.
• Exhaustion. We’ve been able to really slow down in the last couple of months of the year and have realised how much toll the past few years have taken on us (obviously culminating in a huge, stressful transition). It’s been hard to have less structure and purpose in our days, but also to realise that our energy levels weren’t what we were used to either.

Other thoughts

This category is for other things that don’t really fit anywhere else…

This year I was invited to join a couple of groups of women who are all mums of kids with various types of disability. Most of them live in Japan (or have spent significant time there) and many of them are expats. One group is mostly Christians and the other is not. I’ve only met them a handful of times, but the depth of connection is quite remarkable. I wrote a bit about this under the subheading “Being heard” in this blog post in February.

Ultimately, I’m glad 2023 is over. It contained big highlights, but also big milestones and a lot of hard work and exhaustion. It’s encouraging to look back and see how God has sustained us and provided for us through it all.

In the second blog post I wrote this year I quoted Psalm 103, and I think it’s a good place to finish. Here is some of what I wrote in January:

“There are lots of nuggets in [Psalm 103] to ponder. Just now I'm leaning into these phrases: "Your youth is renewed like the eagle’s" (v. 5 NIV) and "As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust. The life of mortals is like grass, they flourish like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more" (vv. 13–16).

'Twas the week before Christmas

I did my usual Monday grocery shop this week and was a little overwhelmed by the crowds. It was hard to get a park in the huge carpark under our local shopping centre (there are more than 3,000 car parks at the centre, the majority of them are undercover). And in the grocery store itself there were lots of people "hunting in packs" and more notable were those who looked like they'd been at it for a long time: their trolleys were full to overflowing, they held long lists, their eyes were bleary, and occasionally they could be heard on the phone consulting other important parties. It was pretty crazy.

'Twas the week before Christmas, 
when all through the mall,  
shoppers descended like a mad summer squall 

—penned by David Marshall, Dec '23

Because we're about to travel and be guests of our parents, I wasn't buying much, but I know our mums are probably stressed about all this, just as these (mostly) women appeared to be. I hope that we will be able to be gracious guests and not cause too much trouble!

But really, what I want for Christmas is not the "perfect" meal or decorations or presents, I just want to honour our families by spending time with them, some of whom we haven't seen for more than five years. We put so much emphasis on making this celebration "just right" that we can easily forget the more important things.

Obviously, as a woman of Christian faith, the most important thing to me is that we're remembering that this is about Jesus, the son of God, the miracle that God came to earth to be one of us. Without that event, this celebration would never have started. Unfortunately, as we all know, in many places, he's completely forgotten, overtaken by many other aspects of the season. And even those of us who are Christians can let the general fervour and busyness of the season overtake the meaning of the story that has grown a little too familiar to us.

A bit of a blurry photo of the outdoor
carols service that our eldest son's church
ran for their community. He's on the guitar
on the left of the picture. It was fun to join in
this and encouraging to hear the origin
story of the season told clearly.

But I think it's also a great time to celebrate what else God's given us. For many of us that includes family and friends. I'm thankful for being able to be physically with family this year. It's a great time to get together and be thankful (Australians, especially, without any culture of thanksgiving celebrations separate to Christmas). It's also wonderful time to gather with our communities, with "our people", and be thankful for where we get to live and the people we get to do life with. To be filled with joy at the various fun things planned for this time of year, especially when we know life can be too full of pain and drudgery. 

It's a time of year when things get magnified: bad things can seem worse and small positive things can make a huge difference. Let's take time to acknowledge the good and the joy. And let's release some of those high expectations we have of ourselves and of others, be faster to apologise and to thank, and not so fast to criticise. Let's take pleasure in the small things.

I live in a dichotomy

The past week has been full of things we've grown to associate with Christmas in Australia, things that we don't do or experience when we're in Japan:

Outdoor carols events: we went to one run by our eldest son's church and have seen plenty others advertised. The one we went to was different to many Australia Christmas events: it was evangelistic, it didn't include Santa, and almost all the songs were related to the true story of Christmas.

Church family Christmas dinner: some churches in Japan may do this, but mostly Christmas is a time for outreach events like concerts

An example of Australian "ugly"
Christmas clothing :-)

Christmas everywhere we go: decorations, lights, packaging, Santa, events, and Australia's version of the "ugly sweater" (often matching shorts and t-shirts with some kind of repeating Christmas motif), it's all far more pervasive than we see in Japan.

Preparing for the "rellie tour": visiting our birth families around the state for Christmas, which requires two eight-hour drives and one 90-minute drive.

Cricket: yep, this is a summer sport and the "sound of summer" for us is cricket on the TV in the background of life. And last week we actually went to one match live, which was a great experience after a lifetime of watching it on the tellie.

Summer: of course, it's summer, even if most of the Christmas motifs deny it. It's our second descent into summer for the year. A Brisbane summer is a bit easier than a Tokyo summer, the humidity is far less oppressive, and the nights are often are not as hot. But it will be longer. We do go most places in a car, too, which makes it easier than riding a bike or walking. We also live in a house with decent insulation, and our bedroom has an air conditioner (though I really would prefer not to live in aircon all day and night).

I remember when I first when to Japan I felt like I had to reinvent myself, like I was a completely different person in Japan than I was in Australia. To some extent that's still true. I remember meeting a life-long friend here one time for a Japanese lunch, then we went to an Asian supermarket. She remarked that she was seeing a completely different side to me than she'd ever seen before (she's never seen me outside the context of Australia). 

Life in Australia is very different in many ways to life in Japan. Life in cross-cultural ministry is also different to what most people "get". And it's easy to feel sorry for myself and descend into a pity-party here. I'm glad I didn't post this when I first wrote it because I've been able to delete a couple of paragraphs of that kind of thing!

I know that I have friends who love me and try hard to understand and love the weird person that this life has made me. I am ever so grateful to them. This is a lonely life and those special friends make a huge difference. I'm trying to do my best to embrace the "Australian Wendy" for these months we're here.

I'm also grateful for the various people we meet along the way who understand. We met two just yesterday, people who we've only crossed paths with a few times, but who have a lot more in common with us than many other Aussies.

There's so much to be thankful for! Even the uncertainty about the future, because it challenges me to trust God more. What are you thankful for this week?