Homesick for the Commonwealth

I was feeling a little more odd than usual as an Australian these last couple of weeks. The Gold Coast (a city down the coast from Brisbane) was hosting the Commonwealth Games.*

Most of the people we interact with locally have never heard of it. Shock! If you aren't from a "Commonwealth Nation" it's just not on your radar. That covers Americans, Japanese, Finns, Koreans, Filipinos, etc. I've even had to explain what it is to our boys. 

Even though I knew it was an event restricted to only Commonwealth Nations, it was an international event that was such a part of growing up in Australia (Brisbane hosted it in 1982 and we went to the closing ceremony) that it was a bit of a shock to find that many of my friends here have never even heard of it.

Ah, it makes me a little homesick (and usually homesickness isn't on my list of emotions at all these days). Especially when I've had almost no one to talk to about the games.

It was, therefore, a treat on Saturday to meet a new CAJ family—the mum grew up in South Africa. She knew about the Commonwealth Games and was shocked when she could talk about the sport of netball without explanation, till our American friend sitting nearby needed explanation. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, check out this video by Netball America for an explanation, though I question the assertion that boys and girls/men and women can play on the same team. And this video for some play action from the games. I didn't know that the game actually originated in the US, at least according to the first video I've linked to here!) Netball—another big part of childhood as an Australian girl, but again, no one's heard of it! We do have one sports-mad Kiwi around who was in shock that Australia lost the final and that her country didn't even get a medal...but I digress.

As I watched my FB page fill up with photos of the games, I really wished I could have been there. Many of my friends went to at least one session.

Our son was. He was a volunteer last Wednesday as they prepared for the start of wrestling. He had to play the part of a wrestler, which included using the change rooms, doing two wrestles and "getting" a bronze medal! He also had a ticket to see live wrestling on Saturday.

I've seen this quote about on parenting:

Your heart . . .  walking around outside your body

It's true. Even though he's thousands of miiles away now, and we don't know what he's doing on a daily basis anywhere near as much. A part of my heart is still there. So I kind-of experience the games vicariously (though didn't get much of a "report" from our son).

We didn't get to see any live videos (for some reason media licences didn't consider Commonwealth citizens living in Japan), but mostly have seen a few articles and results. So, a bit of a downer, really. Not that we've had much time to be watching sports. I was, however, particularly pleased to realise that, unlike the Olympic Games, the Commonwealth Games has all their disabled athletes competing at the same time as the rest. Totally integrated, including the medal count. Love it!


Well, it's been too long between posts and this is a messy one. Sorry. I'm not sure, actually that you're going to get many posts from me between now and May. I've got CAJ's Thrift Shop starting this evening (runs till Saturday), then on Sunday I'm off to Hokkaido for a five-day workshop. Maybe some short, photo-heavy ones?


*What is the Commonwealth Games?

Nicknamed the Friendly Games, it is a four-yearly international event. It's been held since 1930. Here's Wikipedia's definition of the Commonwealth of Nations:

The Commonwealth, is an intergovernmental organisation of 53 member states that are mostly former territories of the British Empire.

The Gold Coast 2018 Commonwealth Games (GC2018) will welcome more than 6,600 athletes and team officials from 71 Commonwealth nations and territories. www.gc2018.com

You must miss your life

"You must miss your life back in Australia."

This is what our family looked like last time we lived for
longer than 12 months in Australia. A lot of water has gone
under the bridge since then!

A Japanese lady said this to me the other day. I had to admit that we really didn't have a life to miss in Australia. We haven't lived there long-term since 2000, we've raised our kids here, and life for us is very much here. We do miss Australia at times and our friends and family there. But not often is that a heart-wrenching longing any more. The reverse is true, however—when we're in Australia we miss our life in Japan!

That might be hard for some people to understand. It seems so, from the questions we're asked when we're in Australia. But I guess the longer you live away from a place the less attached to it you are.

As I glanced through the FB posts of friends yesterday I realised our Easter resembles a Japanese Christian's Easter far more than the Australian Easter I knew as a child. No Easter eggs here, no chocolate (beyond the usual Sunday lunch treat), no long weekend, no Friday morning church service.

That also probably seems weird to you, but somehow it was only vaguely weird to me. Actually I struggled to muster much emotional energy for yesterday's Easter service at church (and the one I with my OMF colleagues on Friday). I think the emotional energy that's gone into dealing with our colleague's sudden change to being terminally ill and the consequential changes in my workload have taken an invisible toll on me over the last two weeks. And now, from tomorrow evening, I'm embarking on the bi-annual marathon of CAJ's Thrift Shop—I'm definitely not doing it on my own strength.

Paul's words come to mind:

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (1 Corinthian 12:9-11 NIV)

I'm not sure I'm at the delighting in weakness level yet, but I will certainly boast in my weakness.

So no, I don't miss my life in Australia, I even have trouble imagining what that might look like. For now I'm buried up to my eyeballs in my life in Japan.

Difficult days

I can't lie here. We're having some difficult days with one of our boys (I don't want to embarrass him, so I'll try to keep this somewhat vague). There has been tears, despondency, work not getting done, reluctance to go to school, fluctuating emotions, and emails to and from teachers. We're all frustrated. I feel out of my depth.

All he wants to do is go back to Japan. He's made some friends here, but not at school. School in general is depressing (except for some bright points, mostly associated with sport and music). Therefore Monday morning is depressing and other mornings to a lesser extent.

This Saturday it's only four months till we go back to Japan. And at times we're wondering how we're going to make it through the four months. My husband says, "One day at a time." I say, "And on the prayers of others." So I've confided more of the details to a few close friends and am relying on their prayers.

And looking forward to seeing the answer to those prayers!

Interview with our boys

We were thrilled to have the opportunity to run a Japan fun night at our home church on Saturday night and we were also given a large portion of the Sunday morning worship time to speak. Very generous! So much so that the boys later commented that they felt we'd taken up a lot of time.

It is 18 months since we were accepted into membership at this church (and we were in Japan at the time). I've said before here that it is important that we do our best while we're in Australia to help them understand what we do. Thereby ensure they understand what they've gotten themselves into!

On Thursday last week the leader of the service on Sunday came around to talk to us. He said he wanted to interview the boys, so that the church could get to know them a little better too. This is unusual. We usually don't ask them to come up the front with us when we speak at various churches. Just asking them to be present with us at the event is enough, in our opinion. They'd rather be at a church where they knew people and knew what to expect.

We wanted to be sure they were okay with this idea, so I spent Thursday night asking the boys questions over dinner, taking notes and making sure they were happy with the questions. This was a great opportunity not to be missed, so I took time to create questions that were meaningful, both to the boys and to those who'd hear the answers.

Here are some of the questions they were asked: 

You all play an instrument, what do you play?
One of you was born in Japan, which one?
How old were you when you went to Japan?

How many planes have you been on?

Where do you go to school in Japan? What do you like about it?

Are you looking forward to going back to Japan in June? Why?

Can you speak Japanese?
        (followed by questions about specific situations where one would have to communicate in Japan, like at McDonalds).

What type of wrestling do you do? Where did you first learn that?

(To our middle son): Since you were born in Japan, does that make you Japanese?

What’s your best friend’s name? Where is he? How many countries has he lived in?

The end result was great. The worship leader did a super job with them and the boys spoke confidently. Later as we talked about it they were bewildered that others were surprised at their performance. I guess one might not expect teens and pre-teens to be articulate with a microphone in their hand in a room full of people (about 50 or so there on Sunday).

But I suspect that not only have our boys had us as their role models (they've seen us up front plenty of times), but they also feel that they have an untold story. The questions we orchestrated for them gave them a chance to show the side of them that most people don't see or ask about.

The unexpected outcome was that they felt homesick for Japan afterwards. I probably should have expected that. I almost talked myself out of not going back to Japan in 2005 when time and time again I told stories about some of the difficulties we'd faced in our first term. Things that you say in front of a group with a microphone can have a profound effect on you.

Thankfully they've pulled up out of that. They've certainly got plenty to keep them busy and distracted. Between school and various extra curricular activities, there isn't a huge amount of spare time to mope.

I'm starting to feel sad too, but more about leaving the people and things I love about Australia behind when we go. But I'm trying to stay as focused as I can on living in the here and now, enjoying what I can (for example, I had a huge mango for lunch).

So thankful for the opportunities on the weekend, and most especially that my boys got a chance to enter into the public realm and say something for themselves.

Tension

My kitchen in Japan. Yes, I miss it!

I received a message from one of my good Japanese friends last night. She asked how life was for us in Australia, whether we felt settled here, and mentioned how she missed our language exchange time.

Among other things, I wrote the below in reply:

Yes, we're fairly well settled. But it's only 5 ½ months till we get back to Japan! Hard to believe how fast it's going.

Sometimes it's hard to be in Australia because we're reminded how easy life is for us here and how much we enjoy life in Australia. Also we're reminded of all the people and experiences we miss when we're in Japan. However, our passion for being a part of getting the gospel to Japan hasn't waned, so no doubt God will provide the motivation to get back to Japan when it is time. We'll be back in early July, Lord willing.

I often feel really torn when we're here. Torn between loving being here (friends, ease of living, climate, language, family etc.) and wanting to be there (friends, a sense of purpose, things specific to Japan like the activities at the school, our stuff, boys happier there etc.).

I imagine it is a tension I'll have to live with for the rest of my life, on one level or another.

This time last year

Last year I was dreaming of an Aussie Christmas (not a white one), this year I'm living it. 
Last year I was shopping at 100 yen shops, parking my bike out the front, this year I'm avoiding shops and the crowds that go with them as much as possible.
Last year I was suffering a dreadful cold and asthma flare-up, this year I'm healthy and

Last year's Christmas morning tea in Japan.

thankful. 
Last year I attended a Christmas eve service with my family, coughing into the white mask that covered my mouth and nose, this year I'll go with my parents to their church early tomorrow morning before the home-based festivities begin.
Last year we celebrated Christmas day all by ourselves, this year we'll celebrate it with my whole family: my parents, two sisters and their husbands and children.

We enjoy Christmases in both Australia and Japan. We're not particularly homesick for Japan, but are enjoying being wholly present here in Australia. Yes, we've done some long drives to spend time with family, but I'm grateful that we are here to do it. We're usually not.

So, wherever you are tomorrow, I wish you a happy and blessed Christmas. For those we are missing loved ones, perhaps because you're in a different part of the world or because they are no long with us in this world, I hope that you are able to enjoy Christmas nonetheless, being thankful for what you do have, rather than being sad for what you don't.

If you can, remember that Christmas is a day of good news (see Luke 2:10-12). Jesus came that we might have abundant life (John 10:10b). Though that life will never be perfect this side of heaven, we can know a small taste of it by savouring the joy of trusting in Jesus now.

Today's doings

This morning we showed up for our Skype interview with a supporting church in Brisbane, from our lounge room (while the boys ate breakfast in the next room). The interviewer was kind to us. It was great to see a good friend of the family (the pastor of the church) in the

TAA was the airline I first remember flying on, when
I was about 10. Today marks five weeks until we hop
on a plane back to Australia.

front row. He's known me since birth. Makes me a tiny bit homesick. 

Then we went off to our church here. One of the questions we'd been asked by our Australian supporters was the differences between a typical protestant Australian church and the Japanese church. I remembered something as I rode my bike to church this morning: our church doesn't have a car park. Most people come on foot, by bike, or train.

I realised towards the end of the church service that I was feeling more tired than usual. Must be something to do with it being only 10.5 days left of the school year, a while since we had a holiday, and the extra work we're doing for our upcoming move. 

Though really I think that for me the bigger burden is the emotional stress. No, I'm not crying readily. But, as you know if you've been dropping in here for a while, I'm doing overtime on thinking about the transition! It's this pre-moving time that I find the most stressful.

Thankfully this afternoon I've been able to rest. There's lots going on in the next 2 ½ weeks, I need my stamina. Still five weeks till our Cairns holiday.

10 weeks (yes I'm counting)

10 weeks today till we fly to Australia for a year. 

How do I feel? 

This was the end of our first home assignment. This photo
brings with it all sorts of emotions. Changing countries is
just emotional!

Increasingly less able to hold "homesickness" for Australia at bay. 

Also I'm struggling to stay present here. It is all too tempting to be thinking and talking about the future all the time. I'm finding it difficult to remain motivated to do the work I still have to do. 

Practically speaking we're in pretty good shape. Knowing we won't have to pack up our whole house and move out is a big relief. 

We've also secured tickets that allow us to take 40kg each! What a luxury! That means we won't have to be posting things. It also means we need a few more bags...

I'm pinching myself a tiny bit that we're finishing up our third four-year term in Japan. I can't quote you the exact statistic, but I'm well aware that most missionaries don't last even 10 years in this country. That we're still here is amazing and only God could have done it!

I'm tired, though. I'm looking forward to that short holiday we're planning between here and there. It won't be long enough, but it will be a start. There's a tent waiting for us in Australia. I'm looking forward to sneaking away to use it. 

Meanwhile here we face a big week: Thrift Shop. Plus a birthday early next week. (My "baby's" turning nine!) Big days ahead. I've planned an easy menu for the week and I fancy it will be light-on blog-wise too. 

Craving Space

We're going camping again on Thursday. It is our third annual end of November camp, during CAJ's Thanksgiving Break. We're sooo looking forward to it. The boys too! We're returning to the same campsite we used the last two years at this time, so we know what the facilities are like and the fun that is to be had.

One benefit to camping at this time of year is that you don't have insects or sunburn to worry about. The main challenge is the cold. Forecast is for sunny weather, with about 11°C  to 1°C. That's not too bad at all, if you're prepared.

There are many things to look forward to, but I think one of the deepest ones, for us adults anyway, is the space. We're small-town Aussies who just get tired of the squishiness of Tokyo. I realised this again while talking to a Japanese friend at the gym today. Her son has just returned from a working holiday in Australia and one of the things he loved about our home country was the space.

The view across the valley from the campsite at sunrise

Here are some examples of the squishiness of our daily life in Tokyo:

• Walking to school the boys have no footpath most of the way. What they have is less than a metre strip on the side of the road if a car zooms by.
• If I walk out my front door, I'm practically on the street. If it look out almost any window in our house I see another house within a few metres.
• Our car and bikes are parked precisely. There is little room for error.
• In winter we heat only the rooms we're using. So, on a weekend during the day that is mainly the lounge-dining-kitchen area. Therefore often we're all in there.
• On Saturday we went to watch our youngest boy's elementary choir perform. I found my eldest son reluctant to leave at interval. He was gazing around the concert hall and said, "This is the largest room I've been in for quite a while!"
• When I ride my bike through the city to the gym, I'm dodging pedestrians and bikes everywhere.
• On the trains, you're usually shoulder-to-shoulder with someone else. Frequently you get pushed.
• The gym is similarly crowded. You're usually exercising at all times within 1 m of someone else, and I time my visits there for the least crowded times.



Park golf course at the campsite

• It's hard to ride your bike as fast as you'd like because you're always slowing down for other bikes, cars, pedestrians, and various obstacles.

That's just a few examples, not to whinge, but to give you an idea that, though we're fairly used to life here and content, we are keen to get out of the city when we can.

So, bring on the camping!

Made in Australia

We rarely see anything "Australian" in the marketplace. However, occasionally I'm surprised. I saw this today:

And some time ago this one made me laugh. Oranges "Made in Australia."

No, I'm not feeling homesick. In fact, with only nine months left until we return to Australia for a year's home assignment, I'm feeling as though I have a great deal of inertia. Staying here would be far, far easier! There are just too many things to do to move countries and then move back within 12 months.

And then there are the things we'll miss while being away. That was very obvious yesterday when I listened to one teacher at the "parent information" day or "meet the teachers" day yesterday. She spoke for an hour about high school. Especially about the process of moving towards graduation and how we can best prepare our teens for independent living and university.

Every now and then I, or someone else in the family, gets this pang: "Oh, we'll miss that because we'll be in Australia."

We have to turn our focus to "what we'll gain", although at this point what we'll miss is far more concrete. We can't predict much of what we'll gain. Although Weetbix (a breakfast cereal) will be a definite gain, at least from one member of the family!

Maybe we should make a list of things to look forward to? Here's a start:

• warm winter
• shorter school days
• English spoken everywhere
• larger house (probably)
• bedrooms for each boy (hopefully)
• time with friends and family we hardly ever see
• meat pies

Sizzler fantasies

It's funny what you fantasise about when you are away from your home country. In my first and even the start of my second term I had a rather idealistic memory of Australia.

I do miss Australia these days, but nothing like the homesickness of those early years. The boys don't really get homesick for Australia, but there are things that they look forward coming back to. Actually it is the same with Japan when we're in Australia.

Tonight we go to one place that we all like to come back to: Sizzler. There are Sizzler restaurants in Japan and other all-you-can-eat restaurants. But there is something we really like about Australian Sizzlers. I think all the boys have their personal records, you know, how many "course" they managed last time. In fact the last time we went to Sizzler was the last meal we had in Australia in 2010. Now we're not out to make pigs of ourselves, but rather enjoy a special place.

I certainly wouldn't have thought Sizzler would be something that we would miss. If you were to leave Australia for a lengthy period of time, what do you think it might be for you?

Just a blip

I'm back. Survived the blip with a couple of quick strategies. Shopping and focussing on what we have here that we don't have in Australia.

Have I mentioned 100 yen shops before? I did a quick search and couldn't find anything. Anyway. There are shops here called 100 yen shops. Everything, or almost everything, is 100 yen (if it isn't it is a multiple of 100 yen and labelled accordingly). Actually 104 yen including sales tax. Anyway, from the very first time I entered one of these shops I've loved them. They have many bargains. They have many things you would never believe you can buy for 100 yen. Many general household needs, stationary needs and even hair care, first aid etc. needs can be met here. They are also good places to buy less expensive souvenirs.

This afternoon we took the boys to a nearby 100 yen shop to redeem some of the points they've earned from doing jobs around the house (another post). Bonus was I got to go and shop too! Here are just some of the things we bought.

Candles (we eat dinner with candles occasionally, nice for a change), stapler, tape, tongs, money boxes. Not pictured are small rubbish bins, various stationary required for starting school, a wind-up crocodile (5 y.o.'s choice for a reward), a plastic imitation gun that shoots foam thingies (7 y.o.'s choice for his reward) and an imitation Rubics Cube (11 y.o.'s choice). We also bought small workbooks for the boys to bone up on their Japanese basic characters. We're tired of answering questions about basic things the boys could figure out for themselves - like, "Which is the start button?" When if they could read these characters, they could figure it out for themselves. This is a start in the right direction towards them being a bit more self-sufficient in this country.

It wasn't just that it was retail therapy that cheered me up, it was the strategy I've tried to get my kids to do when they wanted to come back to Japan before our time in Australia was up. Trying to get them to focus on the now and what we CAN do/experience/enjoy about the place where we are rather than long for a place we are not.

My husband did the same thing with my menu planning woes. He suggested a Japanese meal that I cook fairly regularly. Perfect - I knew I could easily (and cheaply) get the ingredients for it. I didn't know that the boys would enjoy eating it because I've had plenty of complaints in the past, but in the end two out of three did. So that is a victory.

A touch of homesickness.

Oh dear, a touch of home sickness this morning. As I sat down to write the evening meal menu for the week, I could only think of what I didn't have - and things I could easily have bought in an Australian grocery store. Made writing a menu difficult.

I've also found myself missing a few Australian TV shows (can you believe?!). Time for some re-orientation.

We're getting to the boring end of school holidays and it also hit me during the night that David returns to full-time at-school work next week. A week before the boys go back. Oh no, how am I going to cope?

Yep, having a pity party this morning. Quite uncalled for. Instead I should be counting my blessings, which are many.

Just to remind myself, here are some (in not particular order):
Our new car arrives today (not that we can drive it yet - still waiting on paper-work).
My husband is currently vaccuuming the fly screens.
I've had my husband around the house almost full-time for more than 12 months. He is a wonderful person to have around. Terribubbily helpful (you can tell we've been reading The Muddle-Headed Wombat stories).
Our boys are now helping around the house more too (another blog story in this one).
I am sitting in a house that is unpacked. A miracle in itself!
Today is cooler.
I have health (mostly) and lots of people who love me.
I have money to go and buy groceries and a fridge to put them in when I come back.
I don't have to take the boys shopping with me!!
I have heaven to look forward to.

Looking forward to home

Our second term in Japan has been categorised by a growing sense of contentment - that "we're finally where we are supposed to be". This has been matched by a gradual decrease in "I wish I were still in Australia" which is otherwise known as homesickness. After nearly eight years away, you'd expect that, I guess. At least it sounds healthy! Imagine living and working for years in a foreign culture by your own choice without at least feeling it was somewhat tolerable. It doesn't sound good, does it? On the contrary, we're anticipating our arrival in Australia with joy. A couple of months ago when we bought out plane tickets, we were excited, though restrainedly so. As our departure draws near, I note within myself again the stirring of excitement! What is so good about Australia, you might ask? Here's a list of the things we most miss or look forward to:

• 'Australian' food eg. beetroot, sausages, sausage rolls, pies, Mars Bars, mangoes, sultana grapes, custard etc
• Freedom of expression. I long to be able to talk to anyone and to be able to freely express my thoughts. I feel quite limited here, like not being able to easily walk into a bank and express my needs. That feeling is unsettling and even demeaning - I'm reduced to the capacity of a preschooler!
• Being able to read anything (which goes with the above, really). With this goes libraries, bookshops, newsagencies etc.
• English church services
• Shopping centres. They really aren't the same here. No good ones near us, at any rate.
• Friends and family who've known me longer than the time I've been in Japan.
• Summer Christmas.
• Cricket (of course!).
• Long open roads.
• Working together with my husband again. Him not having a 8-5 job will be lovely. We complement each other in the work we'll do in Australia and we're looking forward to being together more of the time.
• This time we're looking forward to all our children being in school!!!
• Being Australian. Here our identities get a little muddled, along with our vocab and accent. We're looking forward to being amongst our own kind again.
• Space - here everything is tight. The roads, the shops, the houses...