Okinawan adventure

Last week we had a pretty unusual week. Okay, some things were familiar, but many things were not.

The girls posing on the beach

David and I flew to Okinawa (a group of Japanese islands closer to Taiwan than Tokyo). We travelled with two teenage girls from CAJ. It was our first visit and when we arrived I realised I'd never been on such a remote island. 

This part of Japan is also distinctly different to what they call "mainland". I was surprised when talking to my dad when he referenced a sad wartime Australian folk song by Ted Egan called "Sayonara Nakamura" about a pearl diver from Okinawa. The region has a sad wartime history. There are still a lot of US military on the islands (about 30,000 troops and a population of around 80,000 from the US). We didn't get much time to ourselves to explore, but maybe one day we'll be able to go back.

We were the support crew for CAJ's high school girl's wrestling team at a two-day tournament called "Far East". This is the same type of tournament that we've been to several times before, notably, two of our sons were crowned "Far East champions" in their last year of high school when they won the final in their weight classes at this event. Across the world the US military run regional tournaments for various events such as wrestling, track and field, basketball, etc. Our region is "far east" and includes Korea and Japan.

It's way out in the ocean!

This was the first ever girls-only Far East tournament ever held in our region and the first one we'd ever been to. Most tournaments we've been part of have been male-dominated and this one looked quite different in some ways. Some notable things:

• most wrestlers had long hair and most of it was braided
• lots of them had mascara
• emotion was close to the surface: tears were common and winners often were crying, boys react quite differently to winning
• many more hugs going round, most of the girls genuinely loved hanging out with their competitors
• it took a while to figure this out, but the cheering/screaming was higher pitched and it really jangled in our heads after a while
• girls don't sweat as much as guys and the gym didn't quite smell as bad as quickly as with a gym full of male wrestlers

But in other ways, it was just a wrestling meet. The rules were the same, the outfits (almost) the same. These were athletes doing their best at a sport they'd worked hard at and there were some great matches.

Because we were such a small team it almost felt family-like. It was also quite different travelling with two teenage girls, as opposed to boys. David was impressed that when we told them we were meeting in the foyer of the hotel at 7 am to catch the US school bus they'd sent for us, the girls were there, on time, with all their gear! I was honoured to be asked by the girls to pray for them at the start of each day of competition.

Yummy Okinawan Zebra bread
(peanut butter flavoured)

On the last afternoon we were freed from the base in time to see the sun set and explore the local shops a little. We noted that the girls were looking for scenic spots to pose and take photos...something that we've found boys not interested in at all!

I was so glad I had the opportunity to do this. It really was a historical occasion. For years I've watched girls struggle on the edge of this sport. Having to wrestle guys is not at all ideal and we've longed to see the sport grow so that girls will have other girls to compete against. It was very special being part of this inaugural event! I do wonder why I'm so passionate about this...I think it's in part that, as a short girl I'm excited about a sport where short, strong girls can succeed. So many sports that were open to girls when I was younger were biased towards taller girls. We watched tiny, strong girls competing last week, and it was fun.

The girls were sad that the rest of their team and their usual coaches weren't with them. We were a poor substitute to the guys they'd been training with all season. We've heard rumours that it will be a combined meet next year and we're hopeful. We talked with the girls over meals about recruiting more girls and even dreamed about having a female coach sometime in the future. I wish I had the skills to coach them, but I'm content to support from the sidelines and hope I'll continue to have that opportunity in the future.

Another Okinawan treat: peanut butter filled biscuit/cookie.

Not all beautiful.

Braiding was a real theme...I'm not sure
I'll ever say yes to braiding someone's hair
at a meet again: my lack of skills was very 
obvious when one of the girls did this after my poor
attempt the day before. Japanese hair is
fine and slippery!

We got cute t-shirts!

Strength comes from quietness and dependence?

We have no more official speaking engagements now until February. That feels weird. It's six weeks since I wrote on this blog: "Last week we started to see a bit more spaciousness in our schedule" (here). We've definitely been working at a slower pace since mid October. And, though it still feels awkward at times, it's been good for us after what's been a pretty exhausting few years.

A friend and colleague wrote about this verse recently: "This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says: 'In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it'" (Isaiah 30:15 NIV)

The Message says it this way: "God, the Master, The Holy of Israel, has this solemn counsel: “Your salvation requires you to turn back to me and stop your silly efforts to save yourselves. Your strength will come from settling down in complete dependence on me—The very thing you’ve been unwilling to do. You’ve said, 'No way!'"

My friend wrote: "We need to stop in order to repent. Rest involves the surrender of fighting for ourselves and letting the Holy Spirit work in our lives. It is a reliance on God's promises and an utter dependence on Him. It is a recognition that we can't satisfy our own needs. . . This verse also reminds us that our strength comes from quietness and trust. When we are quiet, we remove other noise and distractions. We set our hearts on hearing God's voice and God's voice alone. A quiet heart is in a state of peace that comes from trusting in God and His sovereignty alone."

This reminds me a bit of Psalm 23:

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
  he leads me beside quiet waters,
  he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
  for his name’s sake (vs. 1–3 NIV).

 There are other verses similar, like Psalm 131:1–3:

My heart is not proud, Lord,
    my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
    or things too wonderful for me.
But I have calmed and quieted myself,
    I am like a weaned child with its mother;
    like a weaned child I am content.
Israel, put your hope in the Lord
    both now and forevermore (NIV).

Another a metaphor describing God's care for us in Isaiah 40 (vs 11):

He tends his flock like a shepherd:
    He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
    he gently leads those that have young (NIV).

I don't know that I'm very good at being quiet and hearing God's voice. I'm good at filling my head with busy noise. But I hope that through this quieter period in our lives I'll get better. I have to trust that God is working in me through this time that I have many fewer responsibilities than I've had for many years.

That's not to say I've got no responsibilities. We had morning tea with three retired missionaries last week. They told many stories from their own lives, but also intentionally asked us about our sons. One of them concluded quickly that one of our main jobs this year in Australia is to help our younger two transition well to Australia. It's true and we're grateful for the time away from the busyness of our work in Japan to do that (and that we still have an income while we do this).

This week of metaphorically walking alongside our sons has included:

• sitting in on a doctor's appointment which opened the door for our son to get support from the Australian government due to his neurodiversity and mental illness,

  

  The blossoms of the Sydney red
  gum. Another thing synonymous
  with Australia.

• helping them fill out forms for the government. Australia is also kind to university students from low income families, but you pay in the time you spend applying and reporting,
• supervising them driving,
• driving one of them to an appointment with the agency helping him to find (and be ready) for work, and
• follow leads for possible future accommodation.

It's been good that we've had the time to do these things in person and are not thousands of miles away, something a missionary parent can't take for granted.

Fun

The downtime that we've had has given us plenty of time to indulge in one of our favourite pastimes, one that much easier to pursue when we're in Australia than in Japan. It's cricket!

In Japan we either have to resort to watching replays and reading match reports, or pay to watch matches. Here we can watch many matches for free.

Cricket has been part of our lives since we were kids—both our dads loved it and taught us about it. I was once jokingly accused of "taking a sickie" by guys in the pay room at a small rural hospital I worked in, after I took two consecutive sick "afternoons" on days that cricket was played (in the past many men have been a bit disbelieving that women know anything about cricket, but these guys knew I was a fan). 

Summer and Christmas in Australia is synonymous with cricket on the TV. Because it's generally a lengthy sport, it often runs in the background while you get on with other things. It's like the sound of summer here and it's weird when we watch it in mid-winter in Japan, at Christmas time!

Cricket has been part of our relationship since day two. The day after our first date there was cricket on, and we sat down together to watch some of it. Having a love of cricket wasn't on his list of things he was looking for in a girlfriend, but it's turned out to be a wonderful thing for us. Cricket is a very complex sport and many hours can be spent watching and talking about it. It's often quite relaxing, and I've done many cross-stitching hours in front of the cricket, so it's good for my mental health.

The Australian team has recently spent about six weeks competing in one of the cricket world cups in India (the men's One Day version). It was compelling watching, much like a long suspense drama. This long competition culminated in two matches that we stayed up long past our usual bed times to watch (3.30am and 2.30am). Yep, I guess that confirms us real fans!

We've also been keeping an eye on the domestic women's cricket franchise competition called WBBL (Women's Big Bash League), which is a different (shorter) format to the games the Australian men were playing in India. We went to one game in person a few weeks back and this week we've watched (on TV) our local team play their way into the final. As a woman, it's been wonderful to finally see women playing this sport I've loved all my life. It turns out women have been playing for a long time, but they've had little media coverage, so almost no one knew about it, thankfully that's changed.

Anyway, that's enough. Most of you probably aren't interested in cricket, but thanks for reading this far. For me, it's a bit like camping, if you introduce the topic, I can talk about it for some time!

We've run out of sporting events

On Monday and Tuesday this week we attended our last interschool school sports event as parents. Yep, another one of the "lasts". The first one we ever went to was in September/October 2010. I've just gone trawling on my blog to see what I wrote back then. I can only find one post from that season, and it was the cross-country finals that year in October, but it's not a very interesting post and certainly doesn't hint that we'd most likely be doing this "sporting parent gig" for the next 13 and a half years!

This blog post from the following year is a little more descriptive. I'm glad to see that my younger self was also tired out from attending Saturday sport. Here's a portion:

Saturday was the last day of the season for middle school cross-country runners. I have to say I'm a little bit relieved. Missing out on my only sleep-in day, and spending most of our Saturdays at cross-country meets has taken its toll and we're feeling a little taxed in our household. It will be nice to have a few quiet Saturdays to ourselves.

A classic example of how a sports meet
can be a great opportunity to build relationships.
These chairs were brought by parents
supporting our team. No one seemed to care
whose chair they sat in. The one on the left is
ours. They became "team chairs" and there
was some lovely interaction going on
between team members and also between
supporters and coaches. I even heard one coach
coaxed to talk about how he and his wife
 (a teacher at the school) got to know one another.

David and I went walking on Tuesday night and while we walked pondered the ending of this parenting season. We decided it was a good thing, and that the future held "other things" that we could do on Saturdays. In fact, the Saturdays in the coming month holds some social outings with friends, as well as a night attending a symphony orchestra concert (birthday treat).

It's been a privilege to be able to walk alongside our boys and their sporting passions these last 13 years. I've written before that we're passionate about supporting our boys in their sporting choices. It's not easy as parents to forge relationships with teenage boys and showing interest in their sporting endeavours has been one way to show ours we love them. It also provides conversational topics, which as you may know, have not been easy to find at times in our house.

Getting involved in school sport hasn't just improved our family relationships, it's provided many friends and conversations with other adults and teenagers that we've treasured over the years. This was something I particularly missed during the pandemic: the opportunity to sit side-by-side with other parents for hours and hours at sporting meets. The family we go camping with is the extension of a friendship forged through travelling to and from sports meets! And that's just one example.

Putting the shot (he won gold for the
smaller school division and silver overall)

Before I ponder this any longer, I need to tell you that our son did really well at his last meet, the Far East Track and Field finals (with teams from military bases in Japan and Korea, plus some non-military schools from the Tokyo area like CAJ). He won two silver medals. One in shot put and one in discus. The discus event was an especially thrilling finish: he threw two personal best distances and beat a guy who was chasing him hard. He and his good mate topped the field at first and second place. It was really fun to be there and celebrate with them.

As I wrote back in February after the Far East wrestling tournament, "These moments when we get to intensely invest in our kids are soon going to get more difficult to find. I'm treasuring them." 

Well, we've run out of sporting events. There are just five weeks of school left. The remaining "attend-able" events are all in the last week of school—three events where we get to celebrate our son. You'll have to wait to hear what those are! It's going to be a big week of lasts. But also one of celebration: yes, we've made it, we got our boys through "grade school" as Americans like to call it.

 Correction: apparently “grade school” only applies up to grade 8. But “school” applies through to tertiary years. So I’m not sure what to write that everyone would understand. “We got our boys through high school.”?

Stop and refresh myself

This afternoon I'm doing something I've never done before: go to a spiritual retreat. I've been to "women's retreats" and various other overnight gatherings of Christians. But I think this one will be different. I hope so. I'm tired and yearning for refreshment, especially physical, but spiritual refreshment is vital too.

Almost all our Saturdays in the last couple of months have involved
watching our boys run and throw. Great times to connect with our
boys, but also tiring.

Late last year, as we prepared to come back to Japan, I knew that I'd be exhausted by this time. Our six months in Australia were stressful and the last six weeks of that were one of the most stressful periods we've experienced for some time. We landed back in Japan in the middle of the school year and had very little margin for recovery from our second international move in six months. I feel like we're functioning pretty well for what's gone on in the last 12 months, but with little in reserve. We're hanging in there, but not by much.

This Saturday just past was the final regular athletics meet for the season (there's one more middle of next week that I may or may not get to). I started the day feeling exhausted (drank two coffees before 8am, which is pretty unusual for me) and it turned into a 12-hour day (we left around 7.30am and got back not much before 7.30pm). Thankfully it was the last long Saturday sports event until September, so we can now have some slower weekends, which will definitely help, especially as we can't take holidays until July. I don't regret going to our boys sporting events, but they are tiring.

So when I heard about this retreat back in February, I thought it was well timed: a lily pad to help me make it through to our "big" family holiday in July.

But I'm also nervous. I intended to get editing work done this morning before I left, but have had trouble concentrating long enough to do anything much worthwhile. Why nervous? Well, I guess it's a new thing, a slightly scary thing. "Being still" has never been my forte. Although my boys are seeing a more sedate person than I was when I was younger, mentally I'm still quite "unstill".

Nevertheless, I'm game and keen to see how this works out. Below I've pasted the blurb that came with the invitation to join this retreat and what three previous participants have said about it. I have a lot of time for the couple who are leading this, so we'll see how it goes.

I'm going put my language study "on vacation" mode and pull back on my social media time. Now that social media is part of my job I've felt the relentlessness of it and I think a little bit of downtime will be good for me. I've got books to read and a new cross stitch project to work on, which are both proven things that help me "be still", physically at least.

We're very aware that this missionary life is not a sprint, it's a marathon, and we need to pace ourselves accordingly if we're going to last the distance. I'm seeing these next four days as part of "pacing myself".

Refresh:  A Retreat for Spiritual Refreshment and Soul Care

Is your heart yearning for a chance to experience some deeper soul connection with God and others? If so, we would like to personally invite you to “Refresh:  A Spiritual Refreshment and Soul Care Retreat,” a place where you can be still and listen to God, hear encouragement from the Word, fellowship with other missionaries, and maybe even gain a fresh perspective on life and ministry.

What previous participants are saying:

• “It was a great blessing to be able to attend the JEMA sponsored Refresh Retreat at Yamanaka Chalet.  Being in recovery from burnout, and having attended similar retreats, this event was another reminder of God’s great love for me, and his presence in my journey.  It was a joy to meet with Alan and Judy, as well as participants from a variety of mission organizations, and learn from their wisdom and experiences.  So many things to take home and process!”   Gary Carlson, Evangelical Covenant Church 

• “It had been a long time since I had really felt understood and listened to. In most of our relationships, we are giving out… and we are given out!  It was just comforting to be on the receiving end and to hear the voice of the Spirit saying, ‘I love you and I’m going to take care of you.’ I came home feeling more hopeful than I have for at least several months.”   Ruth McDonald, Japan Free Will Baptist Mission 

• “The biggest thing was that I realized (again) that I need to get away for a few days of retreat more often. Whether alone, or with a group, I realized how much I need to take time away from the daily/weekly routine to renew my perspective and unwind.”

What's it like being on a US base?

Someone who had never been on a US military base asked me the other day what it was like.

Here are a few observations:

A combo of Japan and, what I presume is US/military

For example, the below sign on one of the buildings: dual languages, but strangely the Japanese describes the distance as "feet" a measurement that is pretty much not ever used here.

You drive on the left side of the road, but the signs are American and the road rules are also American (which makes me nervous).

Many of the takeaway shops we have used in the food court have Japanese staff, so you can speak English or Japanese to them. I tend to modify my English to somewhat American vocab...eg. "green pepper" instead of "capsicum" at Subway. Some bases you can use yen, but some will give you change in USD. Sometimes they won't take larger denominations of yen.

It is like a foreign land

You have to go through an ID check of some sort at the gate and there are security measures that one has to abide by. That differs from base to base and sometimes from week to week! Your car also has been be registered with them to drive on and at most bases they check your documentation every time. You can't just go on at a whim, you need to be on a list that the school (in our case) has submitted to the base some time previously, or you need to be "sponsored" by someone who has military ID. Sometimes it's taken us an hour to get onto a base, sometimes it's just a few minutes.

The shops are American, so some are familiar, but some aren't. For example, I've discovered Philly steaks are a thing, a good thing. It is somewhat embarrassing, though, to be lining up for one of these places, being able to understand the menu, but not really understanding even though you look like you should. At the place where we do cross-country, you can buy snacks at the little store and most of the "candy" is unknown to us.

There is an alien feel to them

This has got to be the "military" bit: the buildings are all painted this same beige colour.

The base where we've had all the athletics meets this year is an airbase. Most of the time I've just used the one gate, but when I've been with ex-military friends we've gone out a different gate that means driving across the runway! That's pretty weird. At another base where we've gone for wrestling, you can see the military ships in dock (maybe a nuclear submarine or two?).

Of course, there are a few guns (mostly at the gate) and people walking around in military uniform too.

This missionary life is full of surprises. I never expected to be visiting US military bases when I first headed to Japan (nor for many years after that, either). But here we are!

And we're going back tomorrow. We're past half-way, only two more long Saturday meets this season after tomorrow.

Sport and transition

A fun option at the gym are these trampolines. Our youngest, particularly,
has enjoyed them. My neck is currently giving me some stick, but I'm
hoping I'll be able to give the trampolines a go soon.

Supporting our teens through this transition has been harder than perhaps we expected or you might realise.

One big thing we continue to struggle with is finding an appropriate outlet for our sporty boys. In Japan through the school it's built into the school year. Actually school-based sport there is quite intense, with practises most afternoons and competitions most Saturdays. When we take them out of that and into Australia it's a big misfit. Most sport seems to be private clubs, with only a little bit at school, but generally not starting in July and finishing in December! And of course as teenagers they are quite opinionated about what sport they'll do. We can't just throw them into cricket or rugby. They have no experience in either, and no interest in being newbies either.

And of course we've got one boy homeschooling, which includes no sport at all. The deal we agreed on with him when we said he could do homeschooling was that he got out and did some exercise. He's found that that was a harder thing to do than he anticipated.

Last time we were in Australia we tried to solve this sporting dilemma by having them all join a community wrestling club. It worked well for one or two of our boys, but not so well for the third. This time they are much more opinionated about what they want to do. 

We first tried an athletics club, which started out promisingly, but was a significant commitment as it was from 6.30-8 two nights a week about 20 minute drive from here. This was significant as I needed to work our meals around it and at least one of us needed to be plan to spend that time driving and being present. We were prepared to do all this. But we had a lot of trouble with this plan: especially with boy/s bailing at the last minute—either at home before we left, or once we got there. Some families might cope with this, but we didn't. It was upsetting and stressful for us all. We were prepared to go with the plan, but not if they couldn't make a solid commitment to doing it and the following through with that.

Plan B was to go to a local gym that is much closer to us, in fact we pass it on the drive to school. Not perfect, as it doesn't include much running, and that is really what our guys like to do, but it's flexible and we can do it at times that are much easier to manage (straight after school). David and I can also get involved here and get exercise ourselves.

So this is what we've been working with the last three weeks. Most days it's working, but not every time. We're paying per visit, rather than being locked in to a period of time.

Things will probably move up another level from October as our youngest plans to rejoin the wrestling club in preparation for joining the CAJ wrestling team in January when we return.

The stress of dealing with this is not something you might think about when thinking about the life of a missionary. It's been an element of this transition that's made it hard to feel settled as our lives are pretty lacking in routine anyway, and struggling to get a routine going for exercise has only added to the challenge.

Japanese sport for kids

Here's something I whipped up over the weekend. Enjoy, and don't forget to ask if you'd like a better copy, or to be put on our mailing list.

Back in Tokyo

I'm physically back in Tokyo, but still struggling to get my head back into the right space. These last two weeks were very tiring, as I predicted. Last week was more emotional than I'd foreseen, though, and I think that has also taken its toll. I have to say that I'm enjoying a less social week this week!

However, in the meantime life continues onwards as usual. I got home at 11pm on Friday night, after leaving Sapporo at 3pm. I got about five hours sleep before we got up and went to our sons' track and field meet. Thankfully, though it was an early start, I didn't have to drive or take the train, and I was able to sit beside David as he drove the team and catch up. Last week was so busy that we weren't able to talk even once. Then, because we arrived early (CAJ helps run these events, so if you travel with the team you're always early), I was able to lie down in the bus for a while.

I even managed, with the aid of coffee, to take some half-decent photos and talk to people.

A discus photo for some variety.

David and some friends also organised for me to get a lift home a bit earlier than if I'd travelled with the team.

But despite my exhaustion, it was a good day. The temperature was about perfect (low 20s) and we sat under trees, so there was no concern about sunburn. The atmosphere was quite relaxed and picnic-like.

Last week was interesting, in that many of the people at the workshop are single or have no children. It's quite a different dynamic to the people I usually hang out with. They were a bit horrified at what I was planning to do on Saturday, but for me it is just what you do as a mum. When your children are little, you get up during the night to help them. As they get older you go to their performances, their school events, and watch them use their skills and abilities, even if it means getting less sleep than you need. It does mean that I have less energy to do ministry than if I didn't have kids, but being a mum to my children is also an important role that God's given me.

The other event that's happened since I returned was our youngest turning 13! We celebrated quietly at home in the usual fashion (for us) with a cake, presents, and a meal he requested. It's the first time we've had a "boy birthday" without one of the boys around, so that was weird and will take some getting used to. The boy who's gone will also need to figure out what he's going to do about birthdays etc. when he's on the other side of the ocean to us.

But now the "working week" has begun and I'm trying to work my way through the various tasks that await, including a whole lot of deadlines that I've already missed. The weather is gorgeous and I'd love to go for a ride tomorrow, but I'm not sure whether I want to walk away from my desk for several hours to do that or not. But don't worry, I'm not totally neglecting myself. I read an entire 400 page novel over the weekend. Yesterday I went to the dentist for a regular checkup and this afternoon I have a massage and haircut scheduled which involves a 6-9k ride (depending on the route I take).

Homesick for the Commonwealth

I was feeling a little more odd than usual as an Australian these last couple of weeks. The Gold Coast (a city down the coast from Brisbane) was hosting the Commonwealth Games.*

Most of the people we interact with locally have never heard of it. Shock! If you aren't from a "Commonwealth Nation" it's just not on your radar. That covers Americans, Japanese, Finns, Koreans, Filipinos, etc. I've even had to explain what it is to our boys. 

Even though I knew it was an event restricted to only Commonwealth Nations, it was an international event that was such a part of growing up in Australia (Brisbane hosted it in 1982 and we went to the closing ceremony) that it was a bit of a shock to find that many of my friends here have never even heard of it.

Ah, it makes me a little homesick (and usually homesickness isn't on my list of emotions at all these days). Especially when I've had almost no one to talk to about the games.

It was, therefore, a treat on Saturday to meet a new CAJ family—the mum grew up in South Africa. She knew about the Commonwealth Games and was shocked when she could talk about the sport of netball without explanation, till our American friend sitting nearby needed explanation. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, check out this video by Netball America for an explanation, though I question the assertion that boys and girls/men and women can play on the same team. And this video for some play action from the games. I didn't know that the game actually originated in the US, at least according to the first video I've linked to here!) Netball—another big part of childhood as an Australian girl, but again, no one's heard of it! We do have one sports-mad Kiwi around who was in shock that Australia lost the final and that her country didn't even get a medal...but I digress.

As I watched my FB page fill up with photos of the games, I really wished I could have been there. Many of my friends went to at least one session.

Our son was. He was a volunteer last Wednesday as they prepared for the start of wrestling. He had to play the part of a wrestler, which included using the change rooms, doing two wrestles and "getting" a bronze medal! He also had a ticket to see live wrestling on Saturday.

I've seen this quote about on parenting:

Your heart . . .  walking around outside your body

It's true. Even though he's thousands of miiles away now, and we don't know what he's doing on a daily basis anywhere near as much. A part of my heart is still there. So I kind-of experience the games vicariously (though didn't get much of a "report" from our son).

We didn't get to see any live videos (for some reason media licences didn't consider Commonwealth citizens living in Japan), but mostly have seen a few articles and results. So, a bit of a downer, really. Not that we've had much time to be watching sports. I was, however, particularly pleased to realise that, unlike the Olympic Games, the Commonwealth Games has all their disabled athletes competing at the same time as the rest. Totally integrated, including the medal count. Love it!


Well, it's been too long between posts and this is a messy one. Sorry. I'm not sure, actually that you're going to get many posts from me between now and May. I've got CAJ's Thrift Shop starting this evening (runs till Saturday), then on Sunday I'm off to Hokkaido for a five-day workshop. Maybe some short, photo-heavy ones?


*What is the Commonwealth Games?

Nicknamed the Friendly Games, it is a four-yearly international event. It's been held since 1930. Here's Wikipedia's definition of the Commonwealth of Nations:

The Commonwealth, is an intergovernmental organisation of 53 member states that are mostly former territories of the British Empire.

The Gold Coast 2018 Commonwealth Games (GC2018) will welcome more than 6,600 athletes and team officials from 71 Commonwealth nations and territories. www.gc2018.com

My Saturday was edgy

Saturday was a track and field meet, yep, it's started up again and doesn't stop until it's all over now (mid May). It was really good that middle and high school comps were at the same venue, so we were both able to see both our boys! 

The venue is out near Tokyo Bay (40-50km away, depending on whether you take tollroads or not), and the fastest way to get there on a Saturday is by train (not to mention parking...). But it still took 1 ½ hours and four trains. The day promised to be warm-ish (around 17/18C), so we didn't rug up very much. However a nasty cold wind arrived not too long after we did and that made the day a challenge to get through.

Our family was represented in several events: 100m, 200m, 400m, 4x400m, and the 1,500m. We also had an entrant in the middle school discus, but the wind started to move the giant cage surrounding the discus circle and so they cancelled that event. The venue has a lovely tall grandstand, but that wasn't so lovely on Saturday as it caught all the wind. I ended up hiding in one of the rooms at track-level to stay out of the wind, popping out only when my boys were running.

Despite all the discomfort, it was good to be there to watch our boys. They rarely say so, but I choose to believe that they appreciate us being there. Several of their classmates tell their parents not to come and so their parents don't come, and I think that is just sad. As I've written many times before, sports provide us a valuable way to remain connected through these challenging teenage years, so I'm very thankful that they are sporty and that we have the capacity to go and watch them.

I did enjoy pulling out my camera and working to get the setting right, it's added an extra element of fun and challenge to spectating. Got some good action shots too!

By the end of the day, though, I was tired. I really don't like wind, it makes me feel edgy. My eyes were irritated by the wind and all the stuff flying around too (dust and pollen).

At the end of the competition I had to make a decision: go home with David and the team (he drove them team home in the school bus) or take the trains again. I opted for the trains, and I'm glad. It took me half the time that the bus took to get back! I also got more exercise—I took more than 8,000 steps on Saturday, mostly just because I took trains! It also gave me time "alone". I was tired enough that I didn't feel like interacting with people all they way home, so I travelled on my own (in the usual crowds). Amazingly I got a seat on each of the three trains too! Then when I arrived home fully two hours before everyone else, I was able to have a shower and have some relaxing time all on my own. Quite refreshing, really.

Interesting to ponder this from an Australian perspective: it seems to me that is definitely a little on the edge of ordinary to choose to take a train instead of riding in a vehicle and certainly that the train was way faster than the vehicle. But that is life in Tokyo. We choose what mode of transport we will take in the context of where we're going (among other things).

Touching base

After  a very quiet week last week (i.e., I left the house once, in the car), we had a big day on Saturday at the first track meet for the season. Not to bore you with the details, suffice to say it was fun to watch our 15 y.o. run again. Sprinting is his thing and it's good to see him doing it. 

He ran well too, in his first high school meet, considering he's done little pre-season training, his times were good and we're looking forward to improvement as the weeks go on. So most Saturdays between now and mid May will be spent like this (although most will be warmer!)

I was wrecked at the end of the day. It was a cold day. Though it was sunny, there was a sneaky breeze and it didn't make it up to 10C, so it was hard work keeping warm, which is tiring. But the sun was strong enough to burn!

A tree near the track on Saturday, just getting its spring clothes on!

I had fun taking photos too, still working on what the best settings are for various situations and subjects. I suspect photography is a continuous learning process as you gradually refine your skills! And because I don't actually practise that much, it will be a slow process.

Sunday was a quiet day, in which I took a nap. Now today, I should be ready and raring to go, right? Well, it's been a busy day. Much more exercise than I've done for over a week (two grocery shopping trips on my bike = over six kilometres of riding).

I'm still coming to grips with the weather, it's jerking us around, and requires more thinking than mid-summer or mid-winter does. Last week we had some 18/21 degree days, and then 9C on Saturday! Today was supposed to be warm, but I was wearing a scarf at midday and thinking about gloves when on my bike, but an hour or so later the sun tried to peak out from the clouds and the temperature increased briefly (or so it seemed to me).

But thankfully the temperatures have been high enough to trigger spring blooming. The cherry blossoms are on their way out, along with various other blooming trees and flowers. I'm looking forward to all the joy that their colourful appearances brings to our weeks.

My cold seems to be better, but I'm still blowing my nose. I wonder if I'm developing some spring hayfever allergies? It's a common ailment in Tokyo. My asthma flared last week, but is gradually settling down with medication. I'm thankful none of us got the flu this season. Indeed our family has remained remarkably healthy, compared to many roundabout. I'm thankful!

We've got four days left of school until Spring Break. Next Monday we're flying to Hokkaido for our all-Japan OMF conference. I'm wondering what to pack—as it is still quite chilly up there and snow is still lying around, yet we'll be in a hotel the majority of the time, a very warmly heated hotel. Hmmm.

Not a very earth-shattering post! But just in case you wondered how things were in our house . . . 

Our yesterday

There's lots going on here (a photo shoot, job-planning meetings, transition planning our son, schedule planning for Australia for Wendy, home assignment planning...actually lots of planning). 

Pinning one of his opponents.

But to pause for a moment and acknowledge what happened yesterday: we watched our youngest son begin his wrestling season for this year.

It's exciting to see how far he's come in the in the last two years. Yesterday he showed he wasn't a very beginner; he had more moves in his repertoire, and it looked good. He tried different moves, when one didn't work, he moved onto another. He also showed more resilience as he bounced back after a scare with his thumb in his second match (the ligament he partially tore last year is still causing some concern).

He's also now finally at the age that his eldest brother started wrestling. We found a video of that very first meet of his brother's and that made for an interesting comparison. Our youngest has basically grown up around wrestling, so knows what's going on, even if he has still to build up the muscle-memory and strategic thinking that goes with being better than a beginner. Our eldest was pretty clueless when he first stepped on that mat. 

Hey, we were clueless spectators at that point! The end of the video of our eldest's first wrestle was pretty funny. David was taping it with his phone (which made for some interesting video footage as he wobbled around with the action) and said nothing the whole match until the very end. At that point our son pinned his opponent and that was one of the few things David knew about the sport. Suddenly hearing him shout in triumph and utter, "A pin" in surprise, was hilarious.

I guess, being less clueless at this point, we know what we're probably in for . . . another five years of sitting in gyms on Saturdays watching wrestling. I am excited by that prospect (except for the exhaustion that comes with it).

Yesterday was also interesting because the CAJ team was almost entirely a Marshall affair. The team has three wrestlers, one was ill, so it was our son and one other. I went as a mum/spectator/video operator; David was the coach; and our eldest went as an unofficial assistant. The CAJ van on the way there was 80% Marshalls. It was 100% Marshalls on the way home as the other team member went home on the train with his family. Who could have imagined that in 2011 when this whole wrestling-saga began for us?

The middle-school season is short. Just two more tournaments and it's over. I'm looking forward to them (as usual). Probably nervous too. Yesterday I was more nervous at the start than I'd anticipated. I thought that a "mere" middle school meet would be easy after the drama of our eldest son's season last year, but obviously not!

Oh, did I mention that the US ambassador was there yesterday too? I guess when an ambassador has school-aged kids they have to go to school and why not send them to the American School in Japan! And, if they're sporty, why not go and watch their matches? The other CAJ wrestler's family brought a couple of missionary friends and one was chatting to this guy without knowing who he was. The inevitable question, "So what brings you to Japan?" was asked. Imagine being able to answer that with, "Oh, I'm your country's ambassador"?

On this day seven years ago

One of the things I like to check in the morning is the "On this day" on Facebook. It brings up a lot of interesting things that I've posted in past years: events, photos, etc. Because I've posted links to my blog on Facebook pretty much since the beginning, it also shows me those and they can be fun to read also. 

Today I came up with this, a glimpse of what my life in was like when I had 11, 8, and 5 year olds. Sometimes I'm asked about when my kids were younger and even now I can't remember a lot of it. Having written about one particular day on my blog, we can go back and have a peek into life in 2010. Indeed quite different to my life now.

Here are some extracts (for context, we were at a fun sports day for home schoolers, held at CAJ):

Parks were a big part of our family's recreation when
the boys were younger. So much energy!

At lunch-time my kids ate and ran - typical. They really don't eat much at school usually, because there is too much play to be done. However I lingered longer in the bright autumn sun. Eventually I realised that the girls on the next table over were dressed the same, had the same drink bottles, their hair was done in the same fashion etc. Yes, they were twins. 5 y.o. twins. The more amazing thing was that they sat for the entire lunch-hour. Just sat, and ate, slowly. My boys never sit and eat. They squirm, they shove it in and they leave. Getting them to linger over a meal is like extracting a tooth without anaesthetic. Very painful. I can only imagine what it must be like to have children who just sit quietly. . . 

Very soon my eldest was trying to entertain the others by putting the road cone on his head, by playing with water and blindfolding himself and others with the bandanna that awaited us at our relay-station.
My middle son was intense at the games. Competitive to the last. Determined that we obey the rules, even if it wasn't clear what they were!
My youngest was the victim of the other two as well as his youth. He quickly tired of the competitiveness, of the intensity and the pressure. He folded and assumed that it was all too hard. . .

I cannot say that I was having a fun time. Trying to wrestle a balloon off two intense brothers rolling in the dirt. Trying to placate the youngest and stop him being victimised by his brothers. Trying to explain to the middle son that it was okay that the neighbouring team didn't exactly follow the rules. Trying to make sure everyone had a chance to participate. It wasn't fun. . . 

Some people consoled me with the presumption that my boys would go home and collapse. They don't know my boys. My kids are like energiser bunnies and go and go and go. After sports day the younger two went across the road to their usual 1 hour swimming lesson. When they got home from that they wanted to play soccer outside or balloon volleyball in the lounge. It was only when I said that I needed help putting sheets back on beds that they feigned tiredness!
However I was tired, mentally if not physically. We parked them in front of a video for an hour before tea (dinner), just to give us a break and help their active bodies to slow down. Soon they'd rush through another meal and we'd push them to bed (energiser bunnies don't appreciate being made to slow down, they click). Then we could have some peace.

People now say to me, "You're lucky to have such active boys." But I don't know. I definitely feel like it's been a long, challenging 18½ years of parenting so far. I love to see them compete in sports now: I love that all that energy now has a positive outlet (and I don't need to organise or facilitate it). Also, then when they come home now, they are generally tired and don't bounce around like they used to!

Sometimes I'm asked if I miss the times when they were younger and the truth is that I don't. As you've just read, it was an exhausting period of my life. I had pre-schoolers for 10 years and that was long enough for me.

It's also good to remind myself that life is a little physically easier now than it was then, it is easy to forget. What I've forgotten a little, is that it wasn't mentally or emotionally easy back then either. The battles have changed, the boys have gotten bigger and stronger (but not more strong-willed, that's been steadily difficult, I think). It is harder now, though, to make them do things they don't want to do. They are definitely more opinionated and don't hesitate to let us know those opinions.

Enough reminiscing. Back to now. Tonight we have the first wrestling meet of the season (actually just a dual, should be less than an hour). The team is much smaller than last year and it's discouraging to see that. We don't have any of our family wrestling tonight, but I do have friends whose kids are, and I'm keen to sit with them and cheer for their kids. No disguising it—I'm excited to see live wrestling again, though I know it won't be as special as last year, but it won't be as stressful either!

Another messy evening: as I'll make dinner early and people will eat it when they're free (wrestling starts at 6, but two of our family won't be home from school till after it's over and another family member will be home before 6, but out until late as he goes straight to youth group from there, we're not sure if the fifth family member will even leave the house...).