17 April, 2015

Today, I'm here.

Home, today. (But not one of our boys.)
After several days of sleeping-in, I was up early today. I dropped David and our eldest son at the train station as they make their way to Canberra for the National Wrestling Titles. Our son has his Queensland Uniform in his luggage. What a privilege! 

I'm so glad that despite all the challenges we've faced this year, we can give him the opportunity to see (and participate) in wrestling at its highest level in this country. Granted, he's not yet old enough to wrestling in the open category (thankfully), but will get to watch those who are and later wrestle people his own age and size.

On the other hand I'm sad. It is expensive to go to Canberra, so we decided that only David would accompany our son this time. It's the right decision, because David's also chaperoning a team-mate of our sons and it's just better that a man does that. Not to mention that I'd just get too stressed if I were doing all that on my own. (One of our boys suggested that the person to go should be the one who can take the best videos . . .)

Being up early has given me a chance to gather my thoughts at the computer before boys insert themselves into my headspace. Hence I'm blogging this morning.

My mood has been a bit up and down recently as we really start to move into preparing to go back to Japan. I tend to invest a lot in life where I am and with the people I'm currently in contact with. That means that leaving hurts.

I was encouraged, though, to read this article about how to do the mobile lifestyle well. I love the start of the article, where the author contrasts the Stayers and the Movers in life. Stressing that both lifestyles can be lived well.

One of the tips for Movers is:
Healthy movers understand the significance of NOW.
You are investing in relationships – if you’re a mover you don’t have the luxury of 30 years before you have a meaningful conversation. Don’t be afraid to dig into relationships and get below the surface early on. Go deep quicker. Invest in people. Note: this is not romantic advice – that may be completely different.
Home as you may have gathered, is a tricky word for people like us. I've been grateful we have been able to make Australia and our rented house in Ipswich home enough that we can all relax here.

Another tip from the article is:
9.  Redefine Home
Home is where the heart is right? Yeah, you can bet that a mover said that. 
Home for you is people (specifically the ones who stay with you no matter where you go) but it’s way more than just that.  It is principles and protocol and other things that also probably start with a “p”. It’s just NOT a place — at least not just one. 
Don’t settle for a half empty glass. “Well, we move around a lot so I’m just not sure where home is.” 
Just change “where” to “what” and answer the question. It is everything (seen and unseen) that you will take with you the next time you move.
And the author follows that up with good advice for me in the stage I'm in now. 
10.  Wherever you are . . . be there
It’s easy to checkout early especially when you know you’ll be leaving soon.  That can be dangerous for movers who are never NOT leaving.  When your time is short, every moment counts . . . especially the last ones. It’s a different way of thinking but work towards leaving a piece of yourself after you’re gone instead of not being present while your are still there. 
So, I'm trying today to be here, at home, with my two younger sons. Not yearning to be in Canberra with my husband and eldest son or in Japan with my friends who are having fun (and working hard) at CAJ's Thrift Shop today. I'm trying not to think too much about our impending move in ten weeks. But enjoying the oasis that we have today: movies, a bike ride, and lunch out together. A mini holiday, "at home".


Jerry said...

Well said Wendy. Love reading your reflections. Thanks for linking to The Culture Blend. -- Jerry

Wendy said...

Thanks for dropping by Jerry. I've been enjoying your blog too. I love how I can use some of your thoughts as springboards to my own reflections here.