19 November, 2009

Feeling competant?

One of the things I like when my husband goes away is that I get to do everything. Weird? Let me explain.

 Living in a foreign country where you don't speak the language well makes you feel incompetent. Live there for many years and it can get you down. You can easily begin to believe that you have never been capable.

 One of the great things about coming back to Australia is that I can talk to (almost) anyone. I can do my own banking with ease. I can fill out forms with no help. I can make phone calls without even thinking about it. Going to the doctor is a breeze and I don't have to take my dictionary (unless we are interpreting Japanese immunisation records). Hey, I even took the car to the mechanic last week and talked to him both face to face and on the phone.

 I'm remembering that I once was a competent professional who held down a challenging job, managed my own finances and even lived on my own for two years. It is good to remember these things.

 My husband is a wonderful partner in the business of living and raising a family. In fact he is exceptionally competent in many things and in Japan is more competent than me because he's managed to learn more Japanese than me. Therefore when we're in Japan I lean on him a lot. He does the banking, he makes many of the phone calls, reads the kindy notices and fills out the forms.

He enjoys being in Australia because I am much less dependent on him. When he is away in Japan I feel very fragile. When he is away in Australia I feel a bit shaky, but much less so.

I do know that my self-worth doesn't come from what I can do, it ultimately comes from Christ and that I am loved and accepted by Him. However I don't think it hurts to remember the abilities that He's given us and use them when we can. Actually the parable of the talents (Matthew 25:14-30) tells us that God wants us to use, and presumably appreciate, the abilities He's given us.

I am thankful for all these things - for a wonderful husband, for a Lord who loves me and for the opportunity to live in Australia where I can communicate easily. Last week God was very gracious to me in providing all the help and strength I needed to survive the week. He also gently reminded me that the gifts and abilities He has given me are sufficient for where He's placed me.


KKCambLogos said...

Thanks for sharing your feelings of inadequacy. I know my Khmer is much less than your Japanese and so I really feel inadequate when dealing with anything that requires Khmer language. I can definitely empathize with the joy of being independent in our "home" country.

Miwa said...

I do really understand what you feel, Wendy. Here in Japan I can behave as a more mature lady! I've realized how easy to live in my own contry since I came back from Australia.
However, because we lived in your contry, I also realized how reliable my husband is. Here in Japan, he is hopeless on our home life(thanks to his hard work, we can survive though...(^_^;)

Going to see a doctor was one of the challenging things to me as well. Bank?? I can never do that by myself!(>_<)

Wendy said...

You encourage me, Miwa! Thank you.