Getting back to "normal" gradually

Looking back at the last several days, I can see that we’re gradually getting back into a rhythm of life that is familiar. Indeed, Friday and Saturday were hectic, but full of “normal” stuff like errands on my bike, grocery shopping, cooking, helping out at a wrestling tournament, and interacting with various people in the international community. Sunday was slower, but again “normal” for us in Japan: church in the morning, our usual Sunday noodle lunch, and relaxing in the afternoon and evening.

Friday morning I went to another CAJ prayer meeting, it was an encouragement to pray with other parents for the school and surrounding community. Then I headed off on, what turned out to be, a whole morning of bike-riding as I did various errands and grocery shopping. 

I ran out of energy mid-morning on
Friday, so bought this iced coffee.
Not as nice as a hot coffee when it's
under 10C outside, but it helped when
I needed it.

After lunch I took an hour to rest on the bed, knowing the next day and a half would be very full. After that I put together Japanese curry rice in the slow cooker for the refs and coaches’ hospitality room the next day at the wrestling meet CAJ was hosting. Then I took our youngest to the doctor with a suspected case of the flu. We sat at the doctor’s for 2 ½ hours (it’s a show-up-and-you’ll-get-seen-eventually clinic). He was given a flu diagnosis on symptoms as his temperature had been rising quickly through the afternoon.

Saturday I spent about 10 hours at the CAJ gym. It was great to be there, but I felt fragmented in many ways as there were several things I was involved in: 

• Helping with the hospitality room—bringing food, checking the room periodically, helping solve any problems that emerged, then cleaning up at the end.
• Helping with the administration of the high school event—there’s a lot of writing involved as wrestlers are listed in their weight classes, inserted in a draw, results recorded, bout-sheets written up, etc. All by hand! I didn’t do a lot, but just bits and pieces.

I also tried to meet the parents of new wrestlers as well as cheer for the CAJ wrestlers when they were out on the mat. I had a number of great conversations (as far as the fragmented wrestling-day conversation goes), and met two new families (new to the team as well as to the school). It was especially great just “hanging” with some of our longer-term wrestling-parent friends and also talking with a mum who’s been around at the school ever since I’ve been there, but with whom I’ve struggled in the past to connect to. On top of that I had my own kids to stay in touch with. One with the flu and the other feeling his way around just being on campus at CAJ again. 

It was a satisfying, but tiring day. But it did feel so normal. I had couple of people do a double take as they saw me for the first time in six months, but momentarily forgot that I’d been gone. Obviously we’re such fixtures that it seemed normal to folk to see us!

I’m gradually gaining in stamina. Last week I found myself going too hard at times and then petering out before the end of the day. My emotions are gradually settling down, but I’m still a bit all over the shop on that front. I keep reminding myself that we’re in the midst of transition and that’s going to continue for a while yet, though gradually tapering towards a more steady normal. That’s a good thought.

Today our 10th grade son started back at school. That was another big marker towards getting everyone more established in a normal routine. Our youngest is still out with the flu, but this morning I’ve had downstairs to myself as he slept in and, I presume, has been reading in bed. It’s very pleasant to sit at my desk with no teenagers around at all.

Now I have to get motivated to ride out for some more groceries. It’s a lovely blue sky out there, though I know it is under 10 degrees, I also know that I will be adequately dressed to cope with it. 

Actually that has been a big surprise. I thought that I’d struggle with the significant change from mid-Brisbane summer (around 30˚C) to a mid-Tokyo winter (single digits), but I’ve actually been quite warm. I’ve got no idea what that’s all about, perhaps God’s special grace to me at this time. The other surprise is that three of the four members of our household have come down with colds/flu and I have not. It’s generally me who gets all the colds and the others rarely, but not this time. Of course I might still get it, but I’m thankful that thus far I’ve remained well.

Well, it’s off to put my jacket, scarf, gloves, and ear muffs on.

We're going on a summer camp

We're volunteering at a summer camp for grades 6 to 8 from tomorrow afternoon, run by Scripture Union. We've volunteered at this camp twice before, once as cooks just after we got married and one five years ago. See here for my blog post from that experience. Looking back at that blog post, one thing that stands out is this:

The other great thing about being here [ at camp], is that it is service that is NOT about us. Deputation is full of us running around talking about Japan, our experiences and answering questions about us and Japan. 

Here it hardly matters here that we are missionaries and that we've lived most of the last decade in Japan. Yay! I love it.

So much of our lives we stand out, we're not average. In Japan we're the foreigners, at CAJ we're the Aussies, most Sundays in Australia we're the missionaries talking about uncomfortable realities. 

At our home church we might be approaching some kind of "normal". But if people stop and think they'll remember that we're only there a year. If I open my mouth at Bible study, more often than not something comes out about my experience that isn't "normal". I've been embarrassed on at least one occasion in the last couple of months by someone "in the know" identifying us to strangers that we were "missionaries to Japan". Sometimes you just want to blend in!

However, at camp it hardly matters what our "day job" is. This time I will be working with the campers, not just putting sunscreen on my own kids, so we'll see how different that is.

As for now, I'm up to my ears in baking. I'm wishing for my giant dinosaur American gas oven I have in my house in Japan. I'm baking goodies to take for snack times at camp. Thankfully it isn't a seriously hot day. But as a result it's taken me hours to write this much here, between rounds of biscuits going in and coming out of the oven.

I doubt that I'll have time to write at camp this time, but I'll try to take some photos to share with you. It's going to be a fantastic time.

PS If anyone would like to pray for us and the camp while it's in action, there is a short-term prayer list we can sign you up for.

We're not really back to normal, whatever that is

I've spent time with a few different missionaries in the last couple of days and here are few things that are part of the "new normal", even for us here in Tokyo.

People don't know how to react to aftershocks. Do you count to ten then dive under the nearest table if it hasn't ended by then? Or do you just ride it out unless things start to fall off shelves? One of the reasons for this is that previously we though that you could quickly tell if this would be a biggie or not - because it would start with a big jolt or the like. But the one we experienced on March 11 started like any other 'little shake' that is not uncommon in Japan and it built and built and went on and on.

There is some difficulties about summer holidays (vacation). This might seem a little callous in the light of all the suffering that is around, but we know instinctively that we cannot keep going without a break and summer is the time when it is most convenient to do that if you have school-aged children. Here there are no long holidays (read longer than a week) four times a year, only summer and two weeks in the middle of winter (Christmas-New Year). The issue is particularly of concern for those who'd usually take a summer holiday at the beach near Sendai. A number of missions (including ours) have one or more cabins there. Some missionaries also own a small cabin (not very upmarket, by the way). These cabins have survived as they are perched on a rocky knoll. But they sit as islands in the midst of incredible destruction. Who'd be able to relax there? And of course, you'd wonder about the water quality too - maybe swimming at the beach wouldn't be so great. We were planning to go camping, so it is not an issue for us, thankfully, but the whole disaster has messed with people's image of (and plans for) a relaxing summer break.

As I mentioned yesterday, many wonder how we'll cope with the relentless heat and humidity of a Tokyo summer with potential rolling power outages. Others are thankful that their planned home assignments are coming up this summer and they can guiltlessly leave Japan for a bit.

A number of people have changed job descriptions. Many have taken time out of their previous ministries to do relief work or work at the CRASH command centre here in Tokyo. Some did it for a while, but had to return to their previous ministries. Some are hoping to hand over their responsibilities to others soon, others have able to put other things aside and continue to work full or part-time in this new ministry. Mission leaders are considering the long-term responses that their organisation will make to the disaster. What will come of this all? We wait and see.

And people are still telling their stories. What happened for them on THE day. What's happened for them since. How this has changed or not changed what they're doing. How they're feeling more stressed than usual. Wondering what the future holds.

Life looks pretty normal, but frequent shakes remind us that it is not. That there are many for whom life won't look normal for some time. But also that even those of us who have suffered little will bear scars, even if they are tiny, they are there.

Getting back to normal

Yesterday my birthday finished on a high with a childless dinner date with David. It was quiet (something we really value these days) and enjoyable. No high expectations, just enjoying one another's company. The boys didn't really care what we were doing, they were having a great time with another family of five. A wonderful couple who took care of six kids for three hours!

When we went to pick up the boys, we sipped peppermint tea and chatted to our friends while the kids played Lego upstairs. A very pleasant evening altogether.

Then this morning there was no slouching. Alarm clock, lunches made (not by me), breakfast (with everyone dressed before breakfast - almost a record), washing hung up and out and everyone out the door by a fraction after 8am. The boys were excited about going back to school, though they feigned partial disappointment because it meant the end of endless play at home. 

I dropped the youngest at school and proceeded directly to the car park to catch a lift to a mission meeting on the other side of "town" with three other missionaries. We had plenty of time to catch-up and tell stories as we drove for nearly an hour and a half.

The meeting was billed as a prayer meeting, at least the first couple of hours were. But it was unlike any prayer meeting I've ever gone to. Lots of guided personal reflection before God, probably the best title would be "Stop, Look Back and Reflect". I've spent quite a bit of time reflecting on our recent experience through the medium of this blog, but many people haven't had the time or taken the time to do that. Even, so this was a very private reflection, so things I wouldn't feel comfortable writing here, I could write. It was a valuable time.

Then we heard from several people who've been on relief trips to the affected areas. Their first-hand accounts were moving. Especially the man who expressed the concern which must face every Christian who goes into the affected areas - What do you say to them? What do you ask? What is a culturally appropriate way to approach this? It isn't something we learned in Cultural Orientation - it is not as if relief work is something that missionaries in Japan are routinely involved in.

Then, as if I've been doing it all my life, I hopped on a train and came home. Amazing that only a couple of months ago it was such a big deal!

I arrived home in time to pick up the younger boys from school and follow them home (they beat me up the road), give them a snack and send them across the road for their newly scheduled swimming lesson. They used to have them on Saturday afternoons, but that limited our Saturdays a bit, so in this new Japanese school year (school year runs from April to March), we've switched to Monday afternoons. I'm happy. It meant that though I'd been busy all day, I still had a childless hour (yes the lesson is an hour long) in which to go to the gym!

The boys seemed to have a great day. They're really happy to be back into a 'normal' routine again. I'm happy. I've got my days back again. I even bought four litres of milk at once today, I don't think I've done that for three weeks!

Now tomorrow I'm going to have to get my editor's hat and my writer's hat out again and get down to some serious business!

Oh, but before I go, I must tell you about two of the many birthday greetings I received. One said, "May the Lord continue to grow and challenge you in the new year!" I have to say I think I've had enough challenges so far in 2011 to last for a few months, maybe even to the end of the year. I think the second greeting was more my style, "Hope it is happy and happily uneventful." Yes, I think I can say my birthday this year was happily uneventful!

Saturday's usual hodgepodge of activities

What have I done today?

Got up at 7am to go and see my 11 y.o. run in another cross-country meet. A bit of a challenge because it was drizzling with promise to deteriorate over the morning. Unfortunately I didn't wear enough clothes. All week it has been warm enough to wear long pants with simply a t-shirt. Not today. By the end of our 1 1/2 hours in the park, we were damp and chilly. It was fun to see him run, however. He has such a spring in his step. Ever since he began walking at 10 months of age he's been on the move, sometimes driving us up the wall. It is good to see that energy channelled into a sport like this.

Because we were damp and shivering we didn't stay to see the high schoolers run, but there was a hitch. The park we were in (Koganei) is an old favourite and close to a favourite restaurant of ours. We'd planned to go there for lunch, but at 10.30 it was too early to have lunch. Thankfully my husband remembered a large toy store just up the road, so we went there and the boys spent a happy hour roaming through possible Christmas presents. We got some ideas too! And dried off a bit.


Then we motored off down the road to my favourite Japanese restaurant. Yamada udon Not a flash restaurant, in fact quite cheap, but they have great noodles, nice atmosphere and get the food out there quick. They also don't pretend to do any Western food like other family restaurants in this country. They've even banned smoking over the lunch period, so it is even more pleasant.


After our tummies were warm and full we headed home. Crashed for a little while and then got back into the afternoon activities:

• Swimming lessons, several doors down the road, for the two younger boys (bribed the middle one who refused to go last week). 
• Maths Presentation Practise for the older one. Corrected his logic regarding people's concerns about the Aging Population of Japan. People are most concerned about not having enough money as opposed to not being able to work!
• Calling our Australian bank to try, once again, to get my credit card activated. It is now nearly three months since it was posted to us. Failed again. Three phone calls and two letters to the bank later and we are still no closer to getting a functional credit card!
• Had a quick Skype call with my Dad and convinced him that even though he didn't have any photos of his new grandson, he could forward on an email from my brother-in-law with those photos.
• Replied to an email from a man in the US who is interested in serving with our mission in Japan. This is a new job I've taken on this week - responding to emails from OMF's website. It is proving to be interesting.
• My husband is currently sorting through wardrobes to decide on what clothes are needed for our boys in the coming winter season. Thrift Shop (CAJ's twice-yearly massive bazaar) is coming up in a couple of weeks and we're making a list. Periodically the boys are rushing down the stairs to show me the 'new' clothes they've discovered in the 'to grow into' boxes.
• Soon I need to get up and make dinner. We're having eggs and bacon and damper (like yeast-less bread). Yum!

 So that is this Saturday. Sound something like a normal household? 

Teaching kids about mission

Here is one of the things I did last month. This is a newsletter I put out four times a year. It is for primary aged children, telling them about Japan and encouraging them to pray for Japan and Japanese people. I really want children growing up in the church to know that involvement in cross-cultural mission is normal. It is something that every Christian should be involved in at some level.

Covering up the messy?

I just found this on a friend's/colleague's blog: "I have yet to find the story of a fully healthy and functional family in the Word of God (the Bible). So that we wouldn't lose heart or hope, God graciously made sure we'd know that in things pertaining to the sons of the earth, abnormal is more normal than normal. That doesn't mean we should surrender to dysfunction. It means we don't have to hang our heads as we surrender to God and let Him sort out our tangled mess." It is from a Bible Study called "Believing God". Don't know much else, except my family fits well into an abnormal mould, if such a thing exists! I think evangelical Christians spend a lot of time trying to pretend they are normal or trying to project an image of normality. By doing so we put up walls that hinder us from having deep relationships with others. And probably we limit the relationship we can have with God. If we admit the "tangled mess", then we can get on with living, rather than hiding the mess. Last week we watched a weird movie called, "The Talented Mr Ripley". Basically it is about an average kind of guy who gets mistaken for the friend of a son of a wealthy man. Oddly enough the man offers to pay Tom Ripley (the average guy) to go and persuade his son who is fooling around in Italy, to come home to America. It turns out that Tom will do anything to get a leg up in circumstances. He ends up killing the supposed friend, but it is made to look almost like an accident in the movie. He covers up the death, not telling anyone, indeed on occasion, pretending that he is the other guy. He also took money out of his 'friend's' account and wore his rings. He perpetuated the myth for quite a while, including forging letters from his friend. Then kills another who is getting suspicious of the lies and a third right at the end. It is really a strange movie. But what I came away with was the cost of lies. He could be honest with no one - to perpetuate the lie of a wealthy life, he had to kill anyone who got close to discovering the truth that he was a nobody who used to tune pianos. But we do the same. When we cover up the truth of our messy lives. When we try to pretend we are better than we are. We kill relationships. We alienate ourselves from others. Okay, off my soapbox and onto supervising homework.