A coffee date?

Today, by some miracle or other, I had nothing on my calendar and the jobs I had on my to-do list were not sufficient to take up the whole day. I say it is a miracle because recently this end of the month has been crazily busy, plus, we're in the middle of the wrestling season . . . !

Recently I've found myself longing for time with people, then, in various ways, being disappointed. Last night, when pondering today's schedule-hole, I hankered after a good friend to have coffee with but realised that probably I needed time out alone rather than with friends, given that this day is surrounded by a lot of busyness and people. 

It's back to that old longing for people to meet my needs and "raging" when they don't, or when they're taken away from me, or not available to me when I think I need them.

I've also been reading a book that we received at Christmas: Awe: Why it matters for everything we thing, say, and do by Paul Tripp. The author is telling me things I already know, and have known for a long time, but saying them in a way that makes them fresh and opens my eyes to what's truly going on. 

Our problem is not that the 'good life' has passed us by, that people have failed us, or that life has been hard. All these things have happened to us because we live in a broken world. And if our contentment rests on life being easy, comfortable, and pleasurable, we'll have no contentment this side of eternity. p105

I realised that, though I longed for friends to spend time with and have deep conversations with, what I really needed to do today was spend time with God.

Phew. Not just our usual Bible reading and prayer time before breakfast, or my reading-through-the-Bible time after breakfast. But something more like a coffee-date with Jesus. Now that sounds kind of cute and cliche-like to me, but I'm serious. I decided to get out of the house and spend some time at a coffee shop "with Jesus". Now it is weird because he is always with me and I don't need to go anywhere to meet him, but the same is with a marriage. Sometimes you need to get away from your daily routine to spend time together at a special place.

I guess another name for it would be the currently popular "spiritual retreat". I've shied away from such a concept, not sure why. Maybe it is the extroverted part of me that wonders what I'd do with a lengthy period of time of "nothing". Maybe it is the non-conformist part of me that says I don't want to do something because it's popular.

Now what I actually did, didn't look at all freaky. I took this as an opportunity for a longer ride, found a coffee shop using Google about 6km away, and took my book and my Bible. I read a chapter or so of my book, slowly. It sprang me into some spontaneous Bible study (word studies, actually, looking up various phrases related to God's love and faithfulness). I prayed a little, journaled a little, wrote out some relevant Bible verses. I drank coffee, water (always lots of water), and at lunch-time moved across the road to a cheaper place to have a bite for lunch, where I continued to search God's word for his promises to me.

I've come away with a plan for next time I'm moving into the realm of feeling angry about being lonely or people letting me down. It might mean another coffee date or mini-retreat, it might just mean going back for a moment and remembering all those promises God's given about his love being sufficient for me at all times.

Recognising that the feelings that are happening at times like this aren't because of people, or lack of people, they are because I live in an damaged world and my soul is thirsting for God (Ps. 143:6) but I'm not going to the right place to get that thirst satisfied.

Yesterday's joys

I travelled to our monthly mission meeting on the other side of Tokyo yesterday. The difference was that I was accompanied by our three boys (David had a staff work day). I think this may have been the first time I've done that long journey (three trains, a 40km journey that takes about 1 hr 10 min from station to station) on my own with them. I certainly wouldn't have attempted it, even six years ago. See my post about tackling Tokyo trains from October 2011 here.

It was fairly smooth, if I choose not to remember we were late for the first train I'd planned to catch because the guys couldn't get themselves organised and the grumpy attitude of one boy for the first half an hour of our journey and another grumpy boy for a portion of the trip home.

Because it was a public holiday we had a number of missionary kids who usually can't make it to these meetings (more than a dozen). We mums did a little bit of conspiring to get the teens there, but I'd best not say too much about that! Overall we had more than 50 people there, quite a large gathering for us.

There was much more food on this table at our
mission's headquarters yesterday, much to
our boys' satisfaction.

The meeting started with some fun games and was followed by a short, applicable-to-all devotion and some singing. Of course it involved food (a teenage boy magnet), coffee and other hot drinks (a mum magnet, especially after making my way across Tokyo on the trains :D), and socialising too!

We broke into smaller groups for an hour before lunch and the older kids (all boys) had a good time with one of our missionary men. In fact they'd had such a good time, that they barely took time for lunch. Someone brought Dutch Blitz and they played that way past the official ending of the event. As a result, I had lots of time to talk with people because it seemed that a number of others weren't rushing home either. It was delightful. I had a super time.

In the end, though, I thought we should start heading home and the most introverted of our family was heard to say, "You know we've been here for ages when Mum comes to get us to go home." (They were on the second floor of the building, and I'd been on the ground floor.) Apparently I have a reputation!

We had a good trip home. I was thrilled, though, to run into a friend and her son (best friend of our youngest) in on last train. We got to stand together (yes, typical Tokyo train travel) and chat for a good half-an-hour in the midst of our busy day. Girlfriend-conversation was just a bit more fun than the interactions I was having with the boys by that point.

It turns out that we were also able to solve a problem for her: buying wrestling shoes for her son who will need them at Saturday's middle school tournament. She'd been having various difficulties and it was very satisfying to be able to to help with that.

A very people-filled day. Perfect fuel for me as I headed into four days of computer-based work starting today.

Lucky-dip days

Today heralds the beginning of Thrift Shop preparation (for me, any way, actually they set up the gym yesterday).

You never know who Thrift Shop is going to give you the opportunity to spend time with, so it is a bit like a lucky-dip of a day for an extrovert like me. Of course by the end of four days of it the introvert part of me wants to run and hide, but I enjoy it while it's there. It affords a relatively rare time of seeing people in the community. Because most of us don't drop our kids off or pick them up, we only see one another at events like this, or at sporting or musical events. So times like these are precious.

Today I discovered that two of my friends have sons who are going to try wrestling this year. That's fun! Last year I was the only female supporting CAJ at all but one of the middle school meets. Hopefully this year I'll have a lot more female company, of course the high school team is quite a bit larger than the middle school team.

One of my favourite times of the set up of Thrift Shop is the twice-daily snack time, where almost everyone stops and chats. I also love it because it is one of the few times in my year that I can participate in a bring-and-share food time. I grew up on those at church, but they don't happen so often in our lives here. So, for Thrift Shop I usually bake or bring something to contribute to the snack time.

My Whole Orange Cake this morning.

This time I made a Whole Orange Cake in a spare 1/2 an hour I had the other day. I got home half an hour before the boys arrived home from school and didn't want to start in on something new at that point in my day). It smelt divine in the oven, it was all I could do to stop myself from having some right then. Recipe is here.

I love this cake because it is a little bit unusual in that it uses all the orange, rind and everything, so it has a little bit of fruit-cake about it. It was one of the few home-made items on the snack table this morning and was very popular. It's always nice to have one's cooking appreciated and not just by hungry boys! Someone said, "You bake like a mum of girls, not boys." I'm not entirely sure what she meant, because boys eat a whole lot more than girls, but then I did learn my baking in a family of girls.

It seems I'm getting a reputation for baking/cooking. I'm also getting a reputation as someone who wears hats: i.e. I'm a sun conscious Aussie! So, as we sorted clothes, every time someone came across a hat they called out to me. Ha! I guess there are worse things I could be know for...

Extroverts, introverts, and ambiverts

Our youngest was sad on the first day of school last week. It was a half-day. CAJ always starts with a half-day (8.30-12) and it just wasn't enough social interaction for him after 11 long weeks away from his friends. He is a classic extrovert. When he came home he stuck to me like glue, hoping I'd give him the happiness he wanted.

Our strongly introverted son working quietly on his own.

He is such a contrast to our middle son who is quite the introvert. Thankfully he's beginning to understand that instead of taking it out on us when he returns home, he can retreat to his room for some time to recharge.

I've been thinking more about extroversion and introversion recently and I've discovered a term that suits me far better than these extremes: ambivert.

ambivert: a person who has a balance of extrovert and introvert features in their personality (Origin: 1920s) From here.

 This blog post describes my dilemma very well. The comments after the post are from people like me, who have been confused by the strong dichotomous descriptors of extrovert vs introvert.

Here's another article that talks about the complexities of personality and how we're all on a continuum. I love this quote from the webpage:

The notion of Ambiversion changed my life. Previously, when filling in a personality type questionnaire, I”d hesitate when answering questions like: “would you prefer to go to a party or read a book?”  My first thought was “Depends on the party or book and also how tired I am from the previous night.” But that contextual option wasn’t available. Now I realize what a gift it is to be sensible, reasonable and well balanced enough to have the freedom of choice.

And this one:

I’m an Ambivert with 70 shades of Introvert and 30 shades of Extrovert! What are you? 

The Myer-Briggs calls me an Extrovert with a strong Introvert shadow, but I think an Ambivert is a more helpful descriptor. I couldn't understand, for example, why I could be so excited about having visitors to stay, and yet after a day or so, find myself seeking out privacy in my bedroom (something I rarely do when it is just the five of us here). It seemed weird, but now I understand. Sometimes my extrovert side is stronger, other times my introvert side. And I need to work at getting a balance because if I get too much solitude or too much social interaction I get worn out and grumpy.

Try this simple questionnaire, if you're thinking you might be in the ambivert range.

Thrift Shop take-homes

Sooooo, Thrift Shop is over for another year.

Some random thoughts:

1. I feel satisfied in many ways, that I've helped the school out as much as I could during this big fundraising event. 
2. I had plenty of time getting to know people. The joy and challenge of Thrift Shop is the randomness of it. You never know who you'll end up working with and almost always meet new people. At the end of Friday I was exhausted with talking to people. The extrovert part of me is strong enough that I can't just sit and look at someone I'm paired up to work with, if the opportunity is there, I'll try to talk with them. The time I find most productive for meeting new people is working the registers on Friday, when there is often quite a bit of time waiting around for customers. The introvert side of me gets exhausted by all of that and I'll be enjoying some alone time in the coming days to recharge.
3. One person I met and worked with is the mother of another wrestler. She's Japanese and not a Christian as far as we know. I'm sure it must have been a Holy Spirit inspired moment when I heard the name of her Grade 10 son and connected him with wrestling. I don't normally do that well with Japanese names! We had a good time connecting. It is not often that I get to talk with mums of other boys who Love wrestling. She introduced me to a new Japanese word (slang): gachinko. It refers to "competing in earnest" and especially in relation to sumo and wrestling.
4. I got to use a power drill to disassemble clothing racks yesterday afternoon. It was a little scary how much I enjoyed having a power drill in my hands. I guess I've grown up with tools, my dad's an electrician and always had a shed full of tools. 
5. We also got some "stuff" bargains. I've heard that some of you enjoy hearing about our bargains, so I've snuck around our house and photographed some of them. Apologies that some aren't the best photographs.

A new thing for me this year was that I stayed after the shop closed on Saturday to clean up the gym. David had all the boys at a Track Meet (in freezing cold rain), so I was free to help out in the clean up. The reward for helping clean up is that they give the helpers 1/2 an hour free shopping before everything gets either thrown out or recycled (all the clothes and shoes went to a charity who sends them to another needy country).

These books and turtle-neck long sleeve shirt were freebies.

As were these brown pants. Amazingly, I picked them out of a huge pile of pants and didn't try them on! They fit me perfectly.

A spare lunch-box (with free wet-wipes and plastic container). This one wasn't free.

I bought me a spare umbrella in my favourite colour.

A free new Christmas hat that looks new—free.

Two frames for cross-stitches I've done and a free CD.

Our youngest son's our big shopper. He bought this pink snake!

This was a free light-weight wind-breaker. Puma brand. Free!

Another freebie. A larger charcoal BBQ for use when we're camping, especially when we go camping with another family, like we're planning to in August. This was free.

A new spaghetti container. It looked grotty, but washed up well.

Do you Aussies know what this is? I had to check with an American friend to be sure.

I bought this game of Risk for 50 yen. Over the last few months, our eldest has been making an Australian version of Risk, but has been wondering how to do the itty bitty playing pieces. He's planning to use the  "new" game's pieces.

A poor picture, but this is my school ID. They all come complete with a yellow strap. I'm tired of my yellow strap, so I've been looking out for a good replacement. At Thrift Shop I found some Cookie Monster shoe laces and used one to replace my yellow strap. My disappointment: not one person commented on it. Maybe I've shocked people into silence?

Here was my youngest son's favourite haul: some collectable cards.

I found a pair of shorts for my teenager. There were very few pickings in the boys clothes side for his size, compared to the girls. That's pretty standard, but always disappointing!

This was a bargain: 20 new Hot Wheels cars for 500 yen (AU$5), that's 25 yen each. Huge bargain for boys who enjoy racing them down ramps that we own.

Another poor photo: a green hardly-worn polo shirt for my husband and another pair of great ear muffs for bike riding in winter.

The dictionary on the left was still there at the end of Thrift Shop, the one on the right is the one my parents bought for me when I finished high school. I snagged it for free for our teenager's library. The Macquarie is an Australian dictionary. Our eldest son is sitting behind. He's enjoying his new dictionary! He also enjoyed his post-Thrift Shop youth group this afternoon. It is a tradition in the group to wear crazy clothes they found at Thrift Shop. This shirt was our find!

That isn't all we hauled home, but that's enough to put here. 

A bulging calendar

I have a feeling that the coming week will be a little like the last week of January. I didn't mention it in this post, but it wasn't just that that week was busy, it was that my to-do list was building up and I was having trouble getting to it.

This coming week could be the same. The deadline for articles for the next issue of Japan Harvest is coming and articles are rolling in (yay!), but I haven't got time to look at them and that stresses me. But I think I'll just need to learn to leave that alone. I know writers would love me to look at their articles straight away, but that isn't always possible and certainly won't be this week.

This is what's on the calendar:-

Monday: several hours renewing my driver's license
Tuesday: several hours packing the new issue of Japan Harvest for posting out
Wednesday: my one free day, hence I'll be trying to pack lots into this day, like groceries, gym, emails, editing, Bible Study preparation etc.
Thursday: I'm driving some of the Third Graders on their excursion to the Tama Science Museum. An all-day trip. When I agreed to this I didn't realise that all these other things (besides Friday/Saturday) would end up on my calendar too.
Friday: English Bible Study at church followed by an OMF Ladies retreat on the other side of Tokyo until Saturday afternoon.
Saturday: my youngest turns 7!! Somewhere in there a cake will need to be baked and decorated (thankfully my husband is gearing up for the decorating).

Phew, I hope that I'm not overdoing it, especially after a Thrift Shop week. Thankfully most of this is not too mentally taxing, in fact most of it could be a lot of fun because it is with people I enjoy (there's the extrovert in me talking). But I'll certainly be careful about going to bed on time in the evenings (I had a 1 1/2 hour nap this afternoon too, so I'm not starting the week too badly). Next Sunday I might be taking another one of those naps, I'll probably be indulging my strong introvert "shadow" too!

Thift shop - not just a big garage sale

CAJ's biannual Thrift Shop is much more than a fundraiser. It is a school community get-together. A festival where the wider community of the school gets together.

Here are some snapshots of people I met today and interactions I had as I shopped, snacked and worked at one of the cash registers.

Two home-schooling mums talked to me in passing about doing an OT assessment their children.

In the electrical section I ran into the editor of Japan Harvest magazine, who I'll be working with. He's just returned from home assignment. We quickly caught up and he plans to email me soon for a longer catch-up and to start planning the next edition.

I worked across from another mum from my middle son's class. It was the first time we'd met.

I met a lady whose been a missionary in Japan for many years. She's recently returned after a break of four years. She effused about a trip to far north Queensland that she made nine years ago.

I worked with the mum of a graduate from last year. She laughed as my 5 y.o. came to hang out with me and charmed everyone with his grin.

My husband and I had morning tea with one of the missionaries from our mission (to be our regional director from mid next year).

On a break from the check-out I chatted with a couple with whom we have a multifaceted relationship. They are fellow missionaries with OMF. His wife is acting head of middle school, our eldest got sent to her office this week after misbehaving in class. A couple of years ago she taught with my husband. I invited them over to dinner in a few weeks time.

I served the elementary principal. The headmaster's wife. My son's music teacher. The first grade teacher.

I joked with one of the leaders of the youth group my 11 y.o. attends. And laughed as a friend tried to buy baby clothes for a friend ("They're not for you?").

I massaged the shoulders of a friend. Prayed and grieved with the mother of a friend of my son's.

Phew. What a day. An extrovert's day out!

But now I just want to curl up somewhere and not interact. For tomorrow I'll do it again, but with a difference. Tomorrow the rest of the community comes. Today, only PTA members were allowed to shop (this means that the school has a wider-than-usual PTA membership, as many missionaries who aren't attached to the school are members, just so they can shop at Thrift Shop).

Tomorrow we'll speak a lot more in Japanese. It will be more business-like and less joking around. More concern about security (people love to get away with not paying) and less networking. The joy of tomorrow is that we can serve our local community. And our prayer is that they'll read the tracts they'll receive in their bags. That they'll come back at Christmas and hear why we call ourselves the Christian Academy.

E with a strong I shadow

Way back when we were applying to OMF International to go overseas, we had to see a Psychologist and have a personality profile, among other things, done. My Myers-Briggs came out as ENFP with strong I and J shadows. It amazed me at the time because I'd always thought myself to be an introvert - something that most people who knew me were amazed at, because they'd always pegged me as an extrovert. The 'shadow' thing is interesting. Today I've been feeling the I shadow. We've had lots of people over the last few weeks and I've been loving it. Just last night David had to drag me away from a party when it was getting too late for the boys. This afternoon, though, I've felt like I want to go and crawl into a shell for a little while. Good thing we now have a 'just us' holiday coming up. Well planned! You may not hear a lot from me in the next fortnight. But no fear, I'll be back, all refreshed and ready to go!

The joy of coming "home"

We're back home again! It is so nice to say that. All the moving we did in June and July had no return points. We never said, "We're home again" except when we moved into our new house, but it was a new home, not a return home. It was great pulling all that stuff out of suitcases and putting them away again. For 12 days, anyway, then we're off to Sydney. The weekend was packed, as anticipated, but an extrovert's dream. Lots of people to talk to. Catching up with family and friends who we haven't seen for two to four years is fun for people like me. The wedding was beautiful and emotional. My friendship with the bride goes back to growing up together in church. Our families knew each other. Many tears were shed during the day because both the bride's parents have died during the last decade. A bitter-sweet occasion. Lots of sweet, though. It was a long evening and at 10 we received a phone call from our 10 y.o. who was worried that we were too late!!! I reassured him, prayed with him and said, "See you tomorrow." Thankfully he was asleep when we got home 40 minutes later. We spoke at my parent's church yesterday. Apparently we still have some work to do on our visual presentations during our talks. The standards on these have gone up during the last decade. 10 years ago we were using overheads. Now a simple powerpoint accompanying a talk is not too enough, videos and lots of movement (not one photo, but many) is required. More work! I did sell some books, however. A tiny book review at the end of our talk sold us out of that particular book. We have a couple of mission conferences coming up in September. Preparation is going to be a big part of our next four weeks. We have to run or be a part of three different 45 min to hour long presentations. Lotsa joy. If you live in SEQ (sout east Queensland) you should come and join us at Brookfield on the 18th-20th of September. It'll be fun! Let me know if you're interested.