26 January, 2012

You know you're Australian if...

I found this list on someone's Facebook page and I thought it was perfect to celebrate Australia Day here on my blog. I've edited it a little — of course! (Mostly to make it cleaner.)


I cannot tick every box, but certainly a majority. And a disclaimer, I do love my Kiwi and American friends, please don't take the below personally! A lot of this is "said" with a good deal of "tongue in cheek".


You know you're Australian if ...
* You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.
* You're liable to burst out laughing whenever you hear of Americans "rooting" for something.
* You pronounce Melbourne as 'Mel-bin'.
* You believe the 'L' in the word 'Australia' is optional.
* You can translate: 'Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas.'
* You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.
* You think 'Woolloomooloo' is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.
* You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.
* You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin.
* You understand that 'Wagga Wagga' can be abbreviated to 'Wagga' but 'Woy Woy' can't be called 'Woy'.
* You believe that cooked-down axle grease makes a good breakfast spread. You've also squeezed it through Vita Wheats to make little Vegemite worms.
* You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.
* Beetroot with your Hamburger... Of course.
* You believe that the confectionery known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year. 
* You wear ugg boots outside the house.
* You believe that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Yanks for a pittance.
* You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them.
* Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language
* You understand that 'excuse me' can sound rude, While 'scuse me' is always polite.
* You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.
* You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle and a seat belt buckle becomes a pretty good branding iron.
* Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.
* You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call 'Anzac cookies'.
* You still think of Kylie as 'that girl off Neighbours'.
* When working on a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.
* You know how to abbreviate every word, all of which usually end in -o: arvo, combo, garbo, kero, metho, milko, muso, rego, servo, smoko, speedo, righto, goodo etc.
* You know that there is a universal place called "woop woop" located in the middle of nowhere...no matter where you actually are.
* You have some time in your life slept with Aeroguard on in the summer. Maybe even as perfume.
* You know that the barbecue is a political arena; the person holding the tongs is always the boss and usually a man. And the women make the Salad
* You say 'no worries' quite often, whether you realise it or not.
* You've drank your tea/coffee/milo through a Tim Tam
* You own a Bond's chesty. In several different colours.
* You know that roo meat tastes pretty good, But not as good as barra. Or a meat pie.
* You know that some people pronounce Australia like "Straya" and that's ok.
* And you will forward this list to other Australians, here and overseas, realising that only they will understand.



4 comments:

OliveTree said...

Happy Australia day from a "yankee" friend! This is a hilarious list!
Love it!

Helen said...

Can relate to all of it, except for the pronunciations of Australia! And I made a comment on another blog where she *shock horror* put up a recipe for Anzac cookies!

Deb L said...

Yep! Happy Australia Day to you all. Was watching the cricket and bemused by the fact that it was both the Australia's AND the Indian's national day.

Footprints Australia said...

I'm a bit late leaving a comment as I've been in Kiwi-land for a couple of weeks. But just had to say I love this list!!!!