Our long-weekend

We've just had a long weekend. It was the end of Japan's "Golden Week", ten days or so that contain a cluster of public holidays. However CAJ had just one day off.

On Friday I chose to do what I didn't want to do: watch two superhero movies (Ragnarok and Infinity War). One a DVD, the other an outing to the cinema. I decided this out of a desire to continue to keep a little bit of a connection with our teenagers' worlds. I'm not sure how effective that was, but I keep believing that I need to continue to make the effort because I'm sure that they are not going to.

Saturday we did the usual for this time of year: went to a track and field meet. It was the middle school finals. We had gorgeous weather. The sort of low 20s, clear-sky day that is a dime-a-dozen in Queensland, but much rarer here. We didn't even get a nasty wind in the afternoon, as has been usual in recent weeks.

The meet was on what I think is an artificial island on the edge of Tokyo harbour. It's in a park, which we haven't spent much time in, given that the only time we go there is to watch our boys compete. However with only one boy running and throwing on Saturday I had a bit more spare time than usual (and I forgot my book), so I went for a bit of a wander a couple of times. It really it quite pretty. Again, hard to believe that close by is major roads and cityscapes.

We didn't see one cloud all day: very unusual for this time of year!

Sunday was a usual day, with church in the morning and resting in the afternoon, as well as some baking for the week to come. 

I finished off this book. If you're interested in Japan and don't mind well-written historical fiction, it is worth a read. It's a story about Japan's most famous revenge story, where an illegitimate daughter of a Lord seeks to avenge her father's forced suicide.

The book is actually quite insightful. Japan has changed a lot since 1702, when it is set. But there are elements that persist in the culture. One striking thing was the language in which they referred to themselves, it was very self-deprecating. For example, "I'm but a stupid fisherman, Your Honor, whom fate has rowed far offshore." There's a good deal of tension as the protagonist is in grave danger the whole book and only escapes through a good deal of cleverness as well as amazing skill. She's quite the hero.

One final photo from the weekend. Yesterday marked eight weeks until we leave Japan. I surveyed the cupboards and found some unopened food that is expired, or that we won't use before its "best by" date. So I took a couple of photos and offered them to local friends using Facebook. 

It's a fact of life when you change countries, you have to repeatedly go through the process of reducing your "pantry" and then building it up again  Thankfully this time we don't have to quite get it down to nothing, but can keep the non-perishables that have long use-by dates. But I do need to empty the fridge and freezer so we can turn them off.

I wanted to include this photo, because it does show how mixed our pantry contents are: Japanese, American, and Australian foodstuffs! (I know you can get peanut butter in Australia, but this is an American brand and size—from Costco.)

Life moves on rapidly

This was the view at Mt Cootha botanical gardens, where I spent a few
hours catching up with my parents on the 13th. It seems an eon ago now!

I've been home a couple of days now. It's a new normal here which will take some time to get used to. But as I've found with all "losses", life continues on. Work continues, school continues, people still get hungry, clothes still need washing, things still get dirty and need cleaning. Life goes on. And at present it seems to be moving at a pretty fast pace.

Lots of travel

February/March is always a rather turbulent time of the year for us as we head into spring, there are lots of extra, once-a-year events: retreats, class trips, etc. This year has its own collection that means that I'll be away:

• two nights early in March for the usual Kanto missionary women's retreat
• three nights late in March for an unusually early OMF national conference (in Hokkaido)
• four nights late in April for training (in Hokkaido)

And where I ate with my life-long friend Mel on the 14th. Very tasty!

Additional to that, we've got only one boy at home this weekend, while the youngest is at a middle school youth group camp, which is rather weird, on top of not having our eldest here. David goes away for a night in March with the eight graders. And then our youngest at a summer camp in June after school is out.

Then there are other flights to book and schedules to organise: 

• for home assignment (leaving the start of July and returning at the start of January) 
• during home assignment: 
• national conference at the end of August
• professional development in Singapore at the end of October
• a deputation trip to Perth at the start of November

We're facing a rather busy year! And we're at the point of doing a lot of organising and preparing. I'm really glad that we're not facing moving out of this house as well. 

Our son's adjusting well

I'm also glad that one of the big things on the list to do (and yes, like it or not, it was something to "tick off") was relocating our eldest to Australia. It's done and we're moving on.

And for all those who want to know: he does seem to be doing well. He's landed in a good living situation and is surrounded by people who seem keen to get to know him and involve him in their activities.

He's found it quite nice to be operating in English and to be treated as a responsible adult as he's gone about establishing a new life. Life's quite a bit different when you have money and a phone and are 18! And at least on the outside, he fits in quite well (he's got an Australian accent too).

We still need to figure out how best to communicate between the five of us. It's not so easy or "natural" when you're not having meals together. I'd love to have us all on the same messaging network, so we can have a family group for chatting. But that requires cooperation from all involved to get the same apps. It's new habits to be formed and that takes time. Especially when you are unmotivated, like teenage boys are wont to be.

Thankfully, though I've jumped from summer to winter, sat in a plane for nine hours with hundreds of others, arrived back to a house with cold/ear infection, and sat in two doctors' surgeries with my youngest for over three hours in the last few days, I seem to have dodged illness.

Movie splurge

Here's something random. On Wednesday I flew for nearly nine hours. A whole day on a plane. I did something I've never done before and watched movies for nearly that whole time: four movies and one TV episode. It was an interesting collection of movies. 

Glass Castles: a story about a family with rather unstable parents. They moved a lot, squatted in many places, but stayed together. The four kids decided to work hard to get out of their situation and it follows them through to adulthood and them relating to their parents as adults. Based on a true story, it was a tear jerker, but the ending was good. "Enjoy" seems to wrong word to use, but it certainly kept my attention.

Strong: another movie based on a true story, it was about one of the survivors of the bombing at the Boston Marathon, who lost both his legs above the knees. They did a good job of being realistic and again, a tear jerker, but "enjoyable".

After these two, I looked for something that wouldn't jerk tears from me (not easy, considering I was flying away from Australia without my son).

A Young Victoria: there's a theme. I like realistic fiction! I do like historical fiction too. This was a very enjoyable insight into England's history.

The Hours: an older film (2002) that won awards. You might remember it? It had Merryl Streep and Nicole Kidman in it and was based on the life of Virginia Woolf and a novel by her, Mrs Dalloway. It was the first time I'd seen it and it was intriguing, yet sad too.

Not an unenjoyable way to spend the day travelling on my own. But the despite the movies, the hours did drag. It was a long day. You might feel that Australia and Japan aren't that far distant, but it was 15 hours from door to door (granted, I got to the airport nearly three hours before departure and it took two hours on three trains to get from the airport to our house in Tokyo). Long enough!

But I'm glad it's the weekend. I've spent the last two days trying to catch up with things I'd neglected in my work (though not so successfully yesterday as I was out most of the day). 

Today, I'm trying to relax (I stayed in bed a long time, it's less tempting to work there). Now, even though I'm on my computer, I'm sitting in my relaxing chair and have the Winter Olympics on the TV. Nice!

Inspiring sporting stories

Our middle son winning a race earlier in the year.

One of the blogs I read is by Rachel, a cross-cultural worker in Djibouti. She's just had an article published in Runner's World about a woman who is a former Olympic runner who trains girls in her country to run. It's an inspiring story. These women are going up against so many obstacles in their country: cultural norms, poverty, danger, weather, etc.

"We train girls to run, and use club membership as motivation for them to stay in school. We focus on developing strong character and good health and hygiene."

It's well worth a read. 

Another cross-cultural worker has written at velvetashes.com about what we can learn from sports movies (or backstories from the Olympics). I'm a sucker for a good sports movie, or any kind of movie or story where a lot of work goes into developing a skill and there is victory in the end. A story like this is most likely to get me teary, far more than a romance (you can see me like this at sporting events where my boys are competing and succeeding). The article lays out several areas we can learn from these stories:

• teamwork is essential
• victory is not a given
• long term perspective is encouraged
• redemption (significant change occures)

These are things we can learn from as we live the missionary life.

The only thing that puzzles me is the title of the article: "Potato Chips as a Healthy Meal." If anyone can explain that to me...

Today, I'm here.

Home, today. (But not one of our boys.)

After several days of sleeping-in, I was up early today. I dropped David and our eldest son at the train station as they make their way to Canberra for the National Wrestling Titles. Our son has his Queensland Uniform in his luggage. What a privilege! 

I'm so glad that despite all the challenges we've faced this year, we can give him the opportunity to see (and participate) in wrestling at its highest level in this country. Granted, he's not yet old enough to wrestling in the open category (thankfully), but will get to watch those who are and later wrestle people his own age and size.

On the other hand I'm sad. It is expensive to go to Canberra, so we decided that only David would accompany our son this time. It's the right decision, because David's also chaperoning a team-mate of our sons and it's just better that a man does that. Not to mention that I'd just get too stressed if I were doing all that on my own. (One of our boys suggested that the person to go should be the one who can take the best videos . . .)

Being up early has given me a chance to gather my thoughts at the computer before boys insert themselves into my headspace. Hence I'm blogging this morning.

My mood has been a bit up and down recently as we really start to move into preparing to go back to Japan. I tend to invest a lot in life where I am and with the people I'm currently in contact with. That means that leaving hurts.

I was encouraged, though, to read this article about how to do the mobile lifestyle well. I love the start of the article, where the author contrasts the Stayers and the Movers in life. Stressing that both lifestyles can be lived well.

One of the tips for Movers is:

Healthy movers understand the significance of NOW.

You are investing in relationships – if you’re a mover you don’t have the luxury of 30 years before you have a meaningful conversation. Don’t be afraid to dig into relationships and get below the surface early on. Go deep quicker. Invest in people. Note: this is not romantic advice – that may be completely different.

Home as you may have gathered, is a tricky word for people like us. I've been grateful we have been able to make Australia and our rented house in Ipswich home enough that we can all relax here.

Another tip from the article is:

9.  Redefine Home

Home is where the heart is right? Yeah, you can bet that a mover said that. 

Home for you is people (specifically the ones who stay with you no matter where you go) but it’s way more than just that.  It is principles and protocol and other things that also probably start with a “p”. It’s just NOT a place — at least not just one. 

Don’t settle for a half empty glass. “Well, we move around a lot so I’m just not sure where home is.” 

Bunk. 

Just change “where” to “what” and answer the question. It is everything (seen and unseen) that you will take with you the next time you move.

And the author follows that up with good advice for me in the stage I'm in now. 

10.  Wherever you are . . . be there

It’s easy to checkout early especially when you know you’ll be leaving soon.  That can be dangerous for movers who are never NOT leaving.  When your time is short, every moment counts . . . especially the last ones. It’s a different way of thinking but work towards leaving a piece of yourself after you’re gone instead of not being present while your are still there. 

So, I'm trying today to be here, at home, with my two younger sons. Not yearning to be in Canberra with my husband and eldest son or in Japan with my friends who are having fun (and working hard) at CAJ's Thrift Shop today. I'm trying not to think too much about our impending move in ten weeks. But enjoying the oasis that we have today: movies, a bike ride, and lunch out together. A mini holiday, "at home".

Paper Planes and other end-of-holidays activities

I'm getting out of the habit of writing here daily. I guess once the boys finish their summer holidays things will change back again. The signs are there that we're coming to the end of the holidays.

Yesterday we spent half an hour buying school stationary (yes, that's all). Today we rode to school to purchase a high school uniform for our middle son. High school! For only six months, then it's back to middle school for him for two years!

After the movie, but before shopping we
stopped off at a Japanese restaurant.
It was wonderful to eat this yummy food.
We all found menu items that we really
wanted. It brought out the Japanese
side of my brain. Thankfully our waitress
was Japanese and understood our heartfelt
Japanese thanks.

There's also a matter of how well the boys are behaving. They're becoming restless and grumpy. It's been 6 ½ weeks since the younger two finished school, nearly 8 for our eldest. Only a week and a half left! A week from today we'll be going camping (here) for three nights, a screen-free time that will be a good way to pull bedtimes back and, hopefully, heads back into a space that will be more amenable to being told what to do at school.

We've been enjoying catching some more recent movies. Taking advantage of some really good prices ($5.50 on Tuesdays). We've rarely gone to the movies in Japan, only two or three times, because they're so expensive. A couple of weeks ago we saw Night at the Museum 3 and yesterday we watched an Australian movie: Paper Planes. Both were good, though they had quite different budgets.

I could poke some holes in the plot of Paper Planes, a few times we were shaking out heads saying, "That's not possible." Mostly related to the timeline of the plot, which was a bit shaky. It's the story of a boy from a little country school in WA who wins a chance to go to Tokyo to represent Australia at the World Paper Plane Championships.

The Australian side of the film wasn't as cringe-worthy as some Australian films out there, in fact it was done well. The Japanese part was authentic, apart from the part that showed Tokyo down-town traffic moving at an amazing pace. One scene at a doctor's surgery was impressive in the doctor's ability to speak clear understandable Japanese!

What impressed me were the deeper themes that they managed to slide into the show: grief, depression, and bullies were all there. As was two boys trying to figure out why winning was important to them. It had the common "troubled father-son relationship" theme too, but that was more to do with the grief and depression that the father was experiencing. Lots of food for thought. The plot didn't demand that the dad "snap out of" his pain, a definite point in its favour. What made me cry was the usual "person overcoming huge obstacles to achieve their seemingly unrealistic goals".

Well, it will soon be time to boot the boys outside to do some serious weeding of our front garden (see here for our holiday policy of doing jobs around the house, which has worked fairly well, though not always as well as it did on the first day).

The Hammer

Our son received this DVD for his birthday.

It was recommended to us by Aussie friends who saw it on a plane and knew about our son's wrestling. This week, while his brothers were on camp, we three sat down and watched it.

It's a true story, about a profoundly deaf man in America who's grandfather encouraged him to be a wrestler, to help him through the struggles of childhood as a deaf child. It turned out that he was a very good wrestler. He went to college and won at a very high level (National Champion of college wrestling three years running).

It appealed to me on several levels:

Wrestling
The wrestling, of course, was interesting to watch and nail biting at times. I thought the ending was a little too like Karate Kid, though, the underdog with an injury beats the current champion...but of course this is a true story (with lots of collaboration with the man who it is about).

Disability
Gaining a little insight into the deaf community was interesting, stories about disability always grab me.

Language barrier
But the most surprising thing was the cross-cultural element with a language barrier complication. This man, Matt Hamill, was brought up in a "normal" environment, especially school. He learned to lipread very well and his signing wasn't so good. So when he got to university and had a translator for lectures, he didn't cope very well and in fact got thrown out of college (because he got there on a wrestling scholarship that had a proviso of a certain GPA). He then went to a different college that had a large deaf community but struggled to integrate into that deaf community.

The movie portrayed the language barrier very well. When he was listening to a lecture where he couldn't see the lecturer's mouth consistently he was looking between the lecturer and the translator, missing lots of words, some because he couldn't see the lecturer's mouth, some because he didn't know all the signs. It was portrayed beautifully. What he could hear and understand was written as subtitles, when he missed words, it was a blank like this:

To get the _________ of the problem you have to _____ .

It illustrated fairly well what it is like to listen to a language where you are partially fluent in. It isn't that I can't understand any Japanese, but when I'm missing key components of many sentences, I just don't get the overall meaning. That is hard for a someone speaking to you to understand. It is a hidden "disability".

Cross-cultural challenges
The other element his challenge in adapting to college was the language and cultural barrier with the deaf community. They didn't like him to "use his voice" and they signed too fast for him. He had to learn how to interact with them.

I liked it when at one point he used his "bilingual" abilities to help his deaf girlfriend get a petition signed. He could ask, not just deaf students, but normal-hearing students also.


Anyway, that's enough of that. It is a good movie, and even if you aren't into wrestling, I'd recommend you check it out. By the way, the main actor is deaf, so his "deaf accent" is legitimate.