Comfort gained from gathering with others

Earlier this week over 2 ½ days I talked to dozens of people, almost all were missionaries. 

On Sunday afternoon we caught a train to a fairly new church plant. After the service we talked to several missionaries about the church.

It helped that on Tuesday we met in a beautiful
location (Okutama, western Tokyo), though it
rained all day, so we didn't get to go walking.

On Monday morning I travelled in a car with five other OMF missionaries across the city to meet with maybe around 50 other people, most of whom are also involved in cross-cultural work. This was our monthly regional meeting for worship and fellowship, but this time we also had a working bee to help with some deeper cleaning of our Japan headquarters and guest home. I travelled home with three people, arriving home around 5 pm.

On Tuesday morning I took our car on its first trip filled with cross-cultural workers. Our four-seater car was filled with ladies attending a Women in Ministry worship and fellowship time out in the far west of Tokyo, where we met with around 35 other women from variety of organisations and backgrounds. This was a total of three hours of driving and talking in the car, plus six hours at the meeting.

Monday's meeting (lunch)

Adding it all up, I spent over eight hours in cars with eight different people (nearly half of that I was driving) and about 100 people over the three days.

I've been very tired in the wake of all that, and have struggled these last couple of days to push through a headache (again).

So, was it worth it? Yes! I desperately needed the encouragement and re-focus that these meetings provided. Here are just a few tidbits from conversations and the speakers:

• Encouragement from two couples who have moved back to their passport countries after serving here until their mid 60s. It was great to hear them encourage us to keep our eyes on Jesus; that the task was too big for any of us, but not for God; and that God uses each of us differently.
• Time and encouragement to focus on praising God. Something that was surprisingly hard to do with my tired, squirrelly brain.
• Praising God for being an author (Acts 3:15 ESV), was particularly meaningful.
• A conversation with another mum, just a few years behind us, who has a neurodivergent daughter. She needed some hope about the future.
• I chatted with a single lady who is doing things that she couldn't have imagined, even 12 months ago.
• I spent time getting to know one of my newer teammates and her husband. So encouraging to see how they've grown while we've been away and they encouraged me too.
• A colleague and friend who brought up a sensitive topic, made me cry, but then encouraged me hugely in a short conversation!
• I gave a short back rub to a friend who was celebrating her birthday.
• I was encouraged to hear the wife of a former leader talk about them choosing a church to attend once they were no longer church-based in their ministry.
• Two of the ladies who rode in my car yesterday are new to our area and have never been to one of these Women in Ministry events. One of them couldn't stop saying thank you for bringing her.
• Lots of hugs with women who I've grown to know and love over the years. I only see them two or three times a year at these events, but they're precious to me. "My people" from a vast array of backgrounds.

There's much more than I can write here, or even remember, but I'm grateful for it all. 

Today I read an article about Australian farmers finding community at their local cattle sales and how important that time of gathering is. It's easy for people on the land to become isolated and lonely. That is also true when you are living overseas. And even more so as Christian workers: our enemy doesn't like what we do and he targets our weak spots, especially when we live too much inside our own heads. It's important for us to gather with "our people" for encouragement and connection. I'm so grateful for these times, they help me to remember who is really in charge, as well as opportunities to pour into other people's lives from the comfort that God's given me over the years.

A week in the life of Wendy

I'm glad to say that I'm feeling much better. Which is good, because I've had plenty going on. Here are the more interesting bits: 

Friday gathering

On Friday I went to a prayer gathering in a Chinese friend's home. It's a gathering of expat and Japanese mums who have kids with special needs. Our kids range in age from 6 to 36, but it doesn't matter. These ladies understand the unique challenges of being mums to kids who don't match the norms of their peers and who have extra challenges to overcome. We shared, and cried, and prayed, and talked. We only gather six times a year, and it's always special. It was great to be back in person with them, in Australia I joined via Zoom a couple of times, but that was difficult. 

One of the questions that they each carry with them is what will the future look like for my child. It was great to be able to share some of the big successes we've had with our sons over the last year. One of the mums reminded me that last time I was with them in person I was a mess, it was the week we moved out of our old house. I was stressed and tired and was facing a lot of unknowns in the months ahead. I'm in a much better place now and we were able to praise God together.

After I got home I did some quick email checks and then hopped on my bike to get groceries for the weekend.

Saturday fun

Preparing our house for guests. A table cloth
on a folding table makes all the difference!

Saturday morning I hosted an online magazine team meeting with the express purpose of having fun together. It was the first of four meetings we're having this month as part of our annual planning process. And it was fun! I love the energy of these colleagues.

Saturday afternoon was also fun. This year there are four families from our mission living in our little city (12.88 square km). We invited them all over for afternoon tea and games. If everyone had been able to come there would have been 15 in our little place, but we ended up with only 11. And it worked! I feel like our place is a character in our lives and we're just working out how it best works for different scenarios (the previous week we hosted dinner for a family). I'm excited. This is tapping into the extrovert side of me that has been a little repressed in the latter years of our boys years at high school (and the pandemic, of course, had an impact).

Sunday

Church in the morning and video chats and games with our sons in the afternoon. It was a full, but good day.

Mammoth Monday

Monday turned into a 12 hr work day for me. I left in a car full of male colleagues at 7.30 am, we travelled to the other side of Tokyo for the monthly OMF Kanto prayer and fellowship day. All these guys are married, but none of their wives could come (and David had to work at school too). These are the same families we spent Saturday afternoon with.

It took over an hour to get there, and then there was lots of chatting and catching up with people before the meeting began at 10 am. The acoustics in this room are pretty bad which means that when a large group gathers and everyone is mingling, it's really loud. I didn't count, but I'm guessing that there were probably around 50 people there. We had to shout to make ourselves heard!

It was a good time of worship, pondering God's word, sharing, and praying for one another. After the meeting we stayed and ate lunch (again loud). Not long before 2 I left with a good friend to have coffee somewhere else that was much quieter. We spent about two hours together. It's the first time I've seen her in over 12 months, and though we've kept in really regular texting contact, it was wonderful to have the time to sit in person and ask the questions that don't get asked or answered otherwise.

Then I jumped on a train and headed home (the car that came from our city had long left). Four trains later and a 10 minutes walk, I got home around 5.30. David had dinner organised and we ate. At 6.30 we jumped into a Zoom meeting with a group in Australia who pray each month for Japan. We spent the next 45 minutes talking about what we do and answering questions. By around 7.15 I was fading and pleaded for mercy. They prayed and we logged off around 7.30.

Tuesday desk day

It took me some time to get going the next day after waking with a headache and general fatigue lingering from the day before. I did email and other desk work in the morning. After lunch I dashed out for some much needed grocery shopping and then had a two-hour meeting with the OMF Japan social media team. I love their enthusiasm and "youth", so helpful in this particular ministry! After the meeting I dashed off a few more emails pertaining to things we'd discussed or decided in the meeting.

Wednesday more desk work and an outing

I spent Wednesday morning and late afternoon at my desk, but after lunch I did some light cleaning (it takes 15 minutes to vacuum my little apartment) and then took the car to pick up the same friend I had coffee with on Monday. She was on our side of town meeting with other missionaries, and really wanted to see our new place. So I fetched her and we spent another 45 minutes together before she had to head home. So lovely to have friends in our place, especially when they're so pleased with how it looks!

Thursday

This is another desk day. No meetings or shopping. My only outing today will be walking after dinner. I enjoy these quiet home days in the midst of other busy days. It gives me a chance to get some momentum on various work that requires good thinking. I'll also take time over lunch to listen to a church service from home, my long-time habit to help with my nurturing my own faith because I regrettably (still) get little out of a Japanese-language service on Sunday.

It's been a good week. I'm still gathering threads of life after being away for 12 months. It's a significant period and stuff has happened in that time. But in general I'm getting into a good rhythm. Each week looks different. None of the above happen on a weekly basis (except Sunday)! Some weeks are busier than others. Home assignment often felt like we were treading water waiting for things to happen. I'm glad to be back here doing the things...and now I don't know how to describe it. We spent a year in Australia talking about what we're currently doing. It's good to be doing them now, not just talking and thinking about them?

Telling stories and being heard

I've had more time to write this week than I've had for some time. It's been lovely. One of the things I've been writing is my regular column about writing for the upcoming Japan Harvest magazine. But the topic is convicting: stories. I'm passionate about telling true stories, but, like many people who write non-fiction, I often fail to use them. Stories often aren't as direct and take up more space. It also takes attention to notice some stories. Others, like my hair-braiding story, told here just are begging to be shared.

So, I feel compelled to write a blog post this afternoon, but am struggling to find a story to share with you, because as an editor so much of the time I'm working with other people's stories and not having experiences that can be told...but it's good to struggle sometimes. Here are some stories from the last couple of weeks that I hope you find encouraging:

Talent Show

On Tuesday evening we went to the school's Senior Talent Show. This has been a tradition for many years, but of course this tradition has been interrupted in the last couple of years. It's a fundraiser put on by the senior class in preparation for their overseas ministry trip in March. It is usually a mixture of fun and serious acts, but there are also a reasonable number of acts that just make the parents and teachers feel old because they are based around current pop culture that we're not familiar with. 

I did enjoy most of the evening, but it did go on a little too long (2 hr 40 min). Or perhaps I'm just getting old and unused to going out in the evening? I have to admit to still feeling a little exhausted by large groups of people.

It was fun to have one extra senior staying at our house that evening because he lives far away, and to chat with our son and his friend the next morning . . . but they're tired. I keep reminding myself that I was the same way at the same age and that it's just for a limited time. This will be all over in less than four months!

The importance of people-focus

Twice in the last few days I've had unexpected conversations with team members. Members of teams I manage. The teams I work with are quite task-focused—we're teams with specific outcome objectives: publishing a magazine and social media posts (for the purpose of mobilising for mission in Japan). So, I'm not sure I do a great job at caring for the people in my teams because I spend a lot of my time taking care of many tasks with deadlines. I often measure how I'm going in my job with how many tasks I've been able to tick off my list. Because both teams work remotely, I often go weeks without talking to any team members directly. We communicate a lot via text, email, and other online tools. 

So, spontaneous opportunities this week to connect (via video calls) with two team members who are struggling in different ways was unusual, but also good. 

I also led an online prayer meeting with about half the magazine team and it was good to not just pray for magazine matters, but to pray for one another and the things that are on our hearts and minds also. I felt heard and I hope they felt heard too.

Being heard

Last week I had another online prayer meeting with some expat mums in (or with a recent connection to) Japan who have kids with special needs—various needs, various ages. I'm new to their group, but I already had met most of the mums in other contexts. I'm starting to feel like these are "my people", and I find myself telling them things that few other people know. 

Recently I've found that what we've dealt with as parents over the last few years in terms of mental health and neurodiversity has meant I've found it harder to connect closely with many people. There is an experiential gap, one that's hard to define. People who don't have an experience with such parenting challenges can find it hard to understand, or simply don't want to, and I feel constrained in what I feel I can share with them. I wrote a bit about this with a great deal of emotion, back in October. There is great power in feeling like you're understood, and that people want to hear about what you're deeply struggling with. I'm so thankful I was "found" by one of these ladies last year and welcomed into their midst.

It's hard to literally see hills from our location
in Tokyo (Mt Fuji is visible from certain 
points, but not our house). This is a view
of mountains from a wrestling venue back
in December, a place I'll be returning to
next month for a Track and Field meet.

I lift my eyes to the hills

At the magazine prayer meeting I'd decided to help us focus by listening to a song based on Psalm 121, which starts, "I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth". 

Most of the team, it turns out, are labouring under some heavy burdens, so this was indeed God going before and leading me to use this psalm and song in our time together. Maybe this song will help you as you struggle with something today too: Psalm 121 (I Lift My Eyes) Lyric Video • Kristyn Getty • Jordan Kauflin • Matt Merker

Little exchanges add up to a lot

Have you ever thought about the little exchanges that make up the bulk of connection with others? Our lives aren’t generally full of D&Ms (deep and meaningful conversations). Though often I long for that deep connection with people, there is, actually, a limit on how much of that I can handle in any one day.

On Friday the school held the biggest school-community event it’s had in three years. It’s a descendent of the ginormous garage sale known as Thrift Shop. I’ve blogged about that event many times over the last 12 years (see some of those posts here). Now it is called the Fall Festival and Bazaar. The “bazaar” side of things is a scaled-down version of Thrift Shop, designed to cost less in terms of time-commitment for staff and volunteers. It also includes something new: a place where individuals or groups can rent a table to peddle their own wares. Because, of the last three years, we've been saving up stuff we want to get rid of (that isn't rubbish), we decided to rent a table.

Our table as it looked at the start of the day.

There were a few great things about having our own table: 

• I had a place to "be" all day. I didn't feel like I was loitering or wasting time. It was also a starting place for conversations that weren't uncomfortable, a here-and-present kind of thing that helped me stay away from topics that aren't so easy to talk about in a light way.
• We had a bucket of "free stuff" that the younger kids loved. It's such fun giving things away.
• I got to make and sell fudge (but I was disappointed with the packaging we managed, which made the fudge look decidedly dodgy).
• We did actually get rid of a fair bit of stuff to places that it will be used (rather than just sent to the rubbish). We were able to give two boxes of stuff to the Salvation Army who came at the end for stuff that hadn't been sold.

I went into Friday expecting lots of more conversations, and came away feeling a little dissatisfied with how insubstantial most of the exchanges were. But, as I've seen as I reflected over the weekend is that on Thursday and Friday I was part of the gentle web of connection that has begun forming again in the community that centres around the school. Looking back, I had short conversations about all the following things:

A future camping trip

Why I had a nearly 100-year-old hymn book for sale (yes, I sold it)

A recent 500 pound, 8-foot bear attack in the US (yes, there was)

How much my youngest son has grown and changed

How to say “poached egg” in Japanese (no, I can't remember now)

How to use a baccarat espresso maker

What Thrift Shop used to look like (for someone new in the community)

Where Kuranda is (inland from Cairns)

How much CAJ pays substitute teachers

The difference between chocolate and fudge (yes, we were confused by the question)

What it was like growing up a few blocks from the US on the Canadian side of the border and how I’ve never lived in a country that has international land borders (only sea borders, hence “going overseas” is synonymous with going to another country). 

Shopping habits: I prefer to be left alone to consider the option and very much dislike shopkeepers in my face.

How exhausting parenting is emotionally, and how ready I am to be moving on out of being the parent of a school-aged child (7 ½ months…but I’m not counting :D).

Fudge and how we’ve given this to our boys’ teachers for years. This is the last year that will happen.

How I got rejected by the blood bank on Friday at the school because my haemoglobin was a little bit low.

Plans for the next couple of years (moving out, home assignment from July 2023, moving back to Japan).

The big gaps that the pandemic has left us with in community: those whose kids started at the school during the pandemic don’t know the parents of their kids’ friends. I don’t know the faces of a bunch of new teachers (and their kids). That's something that rarely happened before the pandemic, due to staff-family gatherings that have usually been held through the year.

I met a lady who works for the same organisation that publishes the magazine. I’ve only really interacted with her over email, though perhaps we’ve met once, I can’t remember.

I got some hugs and got to see some people I haven’t seen in months or years.

And a thank you for my recent blog posts from someone who says she reads everything I write!

I'll stop there. When you add all that up, that's a lot of networking. And the sorts of stuff that doesn’t happen when you aren’t face-to-face with people. I was exhausted on Friday night (and Saturday). But also thankful. 

Food, awkward conversations, and trust

I've had time to think about a lot of things. Here are some of them:

Providing food for an itinerant family (on a budget)

As I explained in my last post, we've been travelling around Queensland in the last month, sometimes with our own kitchen and sometimes with family (and the presumption that they will organise meals). Planning and grocery shopping has moved to a slightly higher challenge level. I've mostly stuck with the simple options, but trying to keep things healthy means not every night can be pies, pizza, or sausage rolls. Not to mention that I just get bored too easily. 

But cooking dinners without a pantry means you're often missing those important extras like salt, vinegar, or flour—the things I think of as staples, that you buy once every few months, but not for a flying visit of a few weeks. And as one who is not only on a budget but is averse to waste, it's not easy to come up with good meals for hungry young men (not to mention David and me).

Here are some of the evening meals I've ended up making:

• sausages and veggies
• chicken wraps
• bacon, eggs, and damper (like soda bread, it's quick wheat bread made with baking soda as a rising agent, not yeast)
• dry rub (garlic flavour) on chicken drumsticks, with rice and veggies
• BBQ (beef patties on bread rolls)
• Japanese curry (roux bought in shops)
• roast lamb

It's a mix of things that we enjoy about Australian food, plus some comfort food we're familiar with from home in Japan. It's worked fairly well, though I'm also dealing with the unfamiliar electric stove/hob. In Japan we use gas, and it's a quite a mental shift to go to electric again. Gas is just so fast! The stove top at our current abode is also complicated—I needed to pull out the instruction manual a couple of times! Plus, adjustments are needed due to the different types of equipment in a kitchen that's not my own, for example, where we are right now has a rice cooker (yay!) but no "rice" cup (180ml). Also there's no potato masher or big-sized tongs.

We're only in our own place until the end of this month. Then David and our youngest son go back to Japan. I'm here with our middle son for another six or so weeks, during which we'll be living with other people. That's going to provide different challenges, too, I'm sure. But at least they'll have a pantry with staples in it.

Spotting a missionary out of their “natural” habitat 

Have you ever spotted a missionary out of their "natural" habitat? We expect that missionaries are either in their country of service, doing what ever they do. Or if they are in their passport country, they will be doing home assignment. As we've met people during these last few weeks in Australia, we've answered questions that made us realise that our presence here is a surprise, or even a tad unsettling. We're not in Japan and nor are we doing deputation. "Here to see family" seems an acceptable answer, but "on holidays" is a bit strange, especially when we're in Brisbane (which isn't really a standard holiday destination). However, if someone is willing to stick around and ask good questions, I get to explain a little about the challenges we're facing in transitioning our middle son from high school in Japan to adult life in Australia and that this is one way that we're trying to help navigate that gap. 

I anticipate it's going to get more difficult to explain in August. Then I will be back at work, but will still be in Brisbane. I work from my home office in Tokyo, and will be doing the same here in Brisbane for a few weeks. That's definitely going to be a bit tricky to explain.

But I'm not the only missionary with our organisation working in Australia. Did you know that we have quite a lot of people who work here? Their work helps us stay in Japan, but also they help recruit others to join us. I imagine they often face this challenge in explaining their roles. I know that they struggle to find sufficient financial support (yes, they are supported by gifts from others, just like we are).

Trusting God

I'm also thinking about this. We've been given the gift of time away from work, but it's been harder to "be still" in the midst of that than I might have guessed. Being still and not being consumed with lots of to-dos means there's more time to think. And of course with that comes the thoughts about "bad things that could happen", especially surrounding our upcoming flights back to Japan. I woke up yesterday morning with that all running around in my head and it took a while to shake it off.

One tempting way to avoid getting stuck in that bad place is to fill up my schedule with lot of other things to entertain or distract. 

Another way is to focus on God's character and his all sufficiency. We're so tempted to rely on our own strength: "you've got this" is the classic. In reality we're very fragile and easily knocked over. There's so much that we simply don't have ultimately control over. Even if it looks like we do, things happen that show that that isn't truly the case.

I was reminded of Isaiah 40 yesterday, but also Job 38–42. Both passages remind us of how mighty God is, and how relatively small we are in comparison. Job said: 

“I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted" (42:2 NIV).

Paul wrote that the Lord said to him: “'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me" (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV).

And: "Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God" (2 Cor. 3:5 ESV).

And Jeremiah prayed: "Ah, Lord God! It is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you" (Jer. 32:17 ESV). God responded, "Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh. Is anything too hard for me?" (vs 27).

The Psalmist wrote: "Why are you cast down, O my soul and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God" (Ps. 42:11 ESV).

And these things are what I should be directing my thoughts to when I start dwelling on what could go wrong!

(Check out this article for more about El Shaddai, the all sufficient God.)

Meet David and Wendy

I've been thinking about this too, and our rough plan at this point is to take a picnic lunch to Rocks Riverside Park in Brisbane on Saturday 30th July, probably from around 11.30. If you're local and would like to join us, please do. To help locate us, I'll plan to wear my bright red jumper. We don't have any chairs, so we'll try to find a table somewhere.

Lining up ducks

I haven’t written a blog post yet this week, mostly because it’s been a busy week away from my desk. Actually a very different looking week to what most of the year has looked like. I spent a lot of the week with other people! All day Monday I spent at a prayer meeting with other OMF missionaries. And travelling across the city in peak hour on trains to get there and back (total about three hours travel and six trains). It was something I hadn’t been looking forward to. Last year when I did this long day I ended up with a nasty headache and actually fairly distressed at wearing a mask (the pressure on my nose and ears when I have a headache is close to unbearable). However I’m more used to wearing masks now and I didn’t end up with the worst of headaches, so it wasn’t so bad.

Tuesday morning I did a quick couple of hours catching up on urgent computer tasks and email before replenishing the larder with a grocery shop and then shooting off downtown again. This time I spent the afternoon packing the latest issue of the magazine that I play a significant part in publishing.

Wednesday was a cold, rainy day, so I was glad I got to stay home and work at my desk. I made good progress that I was able to continue into Thursday morning. Then Thursday afternoon was consumed with online work meetings, specifically about planning for the weeks ahead, which are less-than-straightforward weeks. More about that later.

Friday morning I spent at a school prayer meeting and then a couple of hours with small fellowship group in a restaurant. Friday afternoon was another shopping trip and then seeing what I could salvage from the rest of the day at my desk, but a headache caught up with me and I didn’t last too long there.

In the middle of that has been a few other things:

• 
  Fudge making: last year I raised some money for the school by making and selling fudge to staff and local friends. I’m doing it again this year. I’ve made it a little easier by using a silicon mold, which means that the size of the pieces is much more consistent. So in between other things, I’ve been making fudge this week.

• Wrestling: our youngest (16 y.o.) has rejoined the wrestling team this year. Last week they had their first meet, a small affair between two schools. It was weird to be back in person at a sporting event, but also great. Unfortunately he got injured in his first match and hasn’t been able to get back into training this week while he recovers. But we did watch the rest of the team via a live video link on Thursday night.
• 
  Cricket: cricket fans that we are, we’ve been enjoying live cricket this week for the first time in several months. The English team is in Australia at the moment. The two countries are playing the famous Ashes series. We’ve been able to subscribe to the series (that has rarely been possible in the years we’ve been overseas) and it’s fun. Alas, most of the play happened during our work hours this week so we haven’t seen much, but it’s been fun, another interest David and I share.

• I also passed 100 books read for the year (I also started more than 20 more, but for one reason or another they ended up in the "I don't want to finish reading" list). I've got more than a dozen lined up for the next few weeks, I wonder how many of those I'll get read?

Monday and Friday would have looked quite different during most of 2021. I’m so grateful that, for the moment at least, we’re not living under so many restrictions. It’s weird to look at the cricket and see crowds of people without masks on, though. Masks are still being worn by 99.9% of people in public here.

The coming weeks are a mixture of relaxation and business. This time next week we’ll be up in the mountains taking a week’s holiday. Our traditional pre-Christmas holiday. With school on a three-week break, I anticipate that I’ll be taking things a little slower after Christmas also. Certainly we won’t be getting up at 6am.

In January I’m helping facilitate the same OMF course I helped with last year. This year it’s still online, but we’ve changed a few things so that hopefully it will be a little less arduous. However, I haven’t completely stepped away from my social media job, so I’ll be juggling a few more balls than I did last year. Plus, there's a variety of wrestling events on in January and February. We'll see how well I come out of that busy season. I didn't cope very well in January/February this year, but part of that was an unexpected and traumatic loss in mid-February.

Meanwhile, I prepare as best I can for what's to come. First of all is getting my "ducks lined up" so I can go away and not check email or open my computer for a week. Ah...the bliss. I've got fruit mince pies to make and books to read!

How's your December looked so far?

The good and the bad, and joy in the midst of it all

I have a lot to be thankful for this week . . . maybe I'm learning how to have joy in the midst of pain?

On the one hand, I've been weary and overwhelmed, and I've struggled with headaches all week. 

Playing French cricket with our UK friends on Saturday was fun.
And the sky was magnificent viewing: all day! It's not often you
get so far from other people and buildings in the greater Tokyo area.

But on the other hand, we've had some great things happening. Last Saturday, despite being unable to do our planned camping trip, and having some last-minute hiccups, we were able to spend the day with friends/colleagues. I was able to have a long weekend—a quiet day of just relaxing at home on Tuesday was very unusual, but matched with my family's schedule (school's Fall Break) and was needed. 

And, after months of waiting, we're seeing some positive changes in the local situation. The number of new COVID-19 infections is the lowest it's been all year. This week three meetings that have been online for many months have been, or will be, in person: a prayer and fellowship meeting with our mission, a prayer meeting at school, and worship on Sunday at church. 

All good, but also a tad overwhelming in the suddenness that it's all changed. We've also seen forward movement on a couple of fronts for one of our guys, which is very encouraging, but has made my schedule next week a bit busier than I'd like.

Another unexpected thing I've been doing this month is a daily photo challenge with Taking Route, an online community for expat women. The challenge is #thisglobalwalkoutside. Using daily photo prompts, expat women around the world are taking photos outside and sharing them. I've not been interacting much with the community, but been simply enjoying taking the simple prompt and searching each day for a photo to take (or one that was taken earlier) and post, plus something to write about the prompt (I can't resist the writer-side of me). It was something I stumbled upon at the start of the month and I have to say the results have been unexpected. My reflections have surprised me (as have some of my photos).

I have to say also, that despite all that I've had going on, plus a headache, I've been remarkably productive in even this short week . . . but that reminds me that I must get back to my To Do list before this working week is over.

Craving connection

Deep connection. I think it's something I'm craving right now. I have a lot of contact with friends and colleagues via email, messaging, and even video calls, but I'm really missing face-to-face. Technology has easily adapted to meetings, to information-giving, and to "doing stuff". But not so easily to "hanging out", to the sorts of casual interactions that happen when a group gathers in one place. When you go to a physical meeting, there are interactions before, during, and after, that are life-giving and really hard to do unless you're very intentional about it online.

Photo of the new field and building at school.
Just like connecting with people online,
there is a barrier between the camera
and the scene. There, but not quite there.

The other day, in a small online chat group, I asked an acquaintance about how her new fridge was going. Weeks ago she'd asked advice about buying it and I wondered how it was going. If I'd asked that question in person it wouldn't have seemed strange, but in the middle of a chat, it did. That makes me sad.

I'm going to be bold and say that I'm also a little tired of being thrown together into small online groups of people who I've often only just met and being required to share personal things. It's for the purpose of prayer and is something missionaries engage in a fair bit. I've been going to prayer meetings like this for years, but at the moment it just seems overwhelming. 

Praying for one another is good. However, at these sorts of prayer meetings you are expected to share something personal for others to pray for you about. At the moment the most pressing things I want people to pray about are very personal and also complicated. So I'm struggling to know how to share that authentically as well as succinctly, and so that I am not too exposed with people I barely know. But also needing wisdom to know how to share in a way that others can understand enough without being overwhelmed.

Thankfully I've got a whole day of connection planned tomorrow with good friends. Friends who I know and trust. I hope that those hours will help soothe the irritation I'm feeling with these online prayer times. These are important meetings, but seem to me that at present many of them are only a shadow of true Christian fellowship.

Feeling a bit buffetted

I think it's been nearly four months since I rode to the big park to the south of us. I made it there on Wednesday for a solo picnic. I’ve had a lot of Zoom time in the second half of this month. So when it dawned on me on Wednesday morning that I had a small window where I could escape from the house (and work), I seized it. 

Even though we’ve had some hot days this week, the season is definitely early autumn. Nights have cooled down. In the park some of the leaves are starting to change. And though Wednesday was a warm day, it was a tad cool in the shade at times. 

As I always do before going on a longer ride, I'd checked the weather and there was no forecast of rain. But as I got closer to the park, the sky got greyer and the wind stronger. Had the forecasters made a mistake? When I arrived, I pulled up my trusty weather app and looked at the radar. There was a small thunderstorm headed my way! So I parked myself at a table near a small non-ornate gazebo and ate lunch.

Thankfully it never did rain, though it looked like it could for quite some time. The sky eventually cleared to the white puffy clouds we’d started the day with.

If I'd hung around longer, I might have gotten
better captures of these two bugs who were
very intent on harvesting the remains of this
past-its-prime flower. I think they are Middle-east 
flower scarabs.

After I ate I read for a while and then took some time searching for photos, having been inspired by a nature photography seminar I participated in the day before. The seminar encouraged us to take our time, to breathe, to be renewed as we looked for things to photograph. I have for some years now been on the lookout for things to capture, often small or unusual things or angles, but mostly opportunistic things. That is, as I’m out and about doing other things. It was good to take a few minutes to change focus a little bit, to feel like it’s more than okay to do that. In the midst of so many video calls and intense interaction, it was very good to be out in the fresh air, and away from buildings and people.

But this morning, as I sat in my relaxing chair in our lounge room, rotating between various activities: Scrabble, game on phone, Japanese vocab and kanji (character) review, I’ve been reflecting on the last couple of weeks and wondering why I’m feeling a bit buffetted. I think it’s not just the busyness of those days, but also the emotional highs and lows. And a list is good to help explain that, so in the last two weeks I’ve—

Light was difficult for capturing this ant,
but I tried.

• Led nine hours of meetings with my magazine team over two days. This was an emotional high, but also a heavy responsibility that exhausts me.
• Sat through two days of online field conference, during which we farewelled ten colleagues who are retiring in the coming year and brought tears.
• Interacted in person, via text, and on video calls with a handful of friends and colleagues who wanted to know how I really was, and I got mixed responses. One of which really disappointed me and others that really lifted me up.
• Had to share briefly in a small group of OMF colleagues about the challenges of the last 18 months. I know none of these people well, and wasn’t sure how much to share. It turns out my brief summary was enough to make them feel like they had nothing significant to share :-( So I felt that perhaps I did have reason to be feeling a bit overwhelmed and tired, if other people, who hadn't heard most of the details, are taken aback.
• Made a small step forward in planning for the next few months for a member of our family. It was a small, but significant step that had me feeling elated.
• Low-key celebrations of a birthday and our wedding anniversary.
• Led a prayer meeting online for our mission. At night, which is a challenge for me.
• Had an article published in the US that was quite personal (it’s here). It was great to have a writing opportunity, but also emotional to get my thoughts out there.

That’s probably enough! Yes, I think there are a few reasons there to feel like I’m a bit depleted. So in retrospect I see that the couple of hours I was able to spend in the park on Wednesday was a real gift from God. As is this quiet weekend. And no, I’m not going to be an overachiever today. I think sitting quietly is really okay, otherwise I’m probably going to end up saying something to someone that I really will regret (a classic sign of exhaustion for me).

So, here are a few photos from my God-given time out.

• 

  Summer cypress

  
  

  

  Balloon flower.

  
  

  

  Not exactly where I sat to eat and read, but close by. You get the idea that this park has
  some lovely tall trees, and more than a few.

  
  

  

  A dahlia, I think, reaching for the sky.

LittWorld 2018: the rest

It's three days since I left the conference in Singapore. It already feels like an age ago, mostly because of what's happened since (we had four deputation meetings over the weekend).

The meeting rooms had geometrical names!

However, this post is about the conference. It continued (after I wrote on Monday) to be a remarkable event. Most people were keen to meet new people and find out what they're doing and why they were attending the conference. I learnt a lot, and not all publishing related.

I talked with a Russian about climate, a Chicagoan about life there and in Japan, I talked magazines with a lady from Nigeria who produces one for teenagers and one from Bulgaria who produces a magazine for ladies, and talked theology and current events with someone from Sydney. I roomed with a lady from Denver, Colorado who is a publisher with William Carey. I sat with the head of Tyndale Publishing and his wife, talked with an author from Costa Rica, learned from an Egyptian editor and translator, and attended talks by a journalist from Nigeria and a deputy managing editor with Christianity Today. I went riding with a lady from Egypt and talked to a pastor from Pakistan. 

Phew! 

Even meals were intense. I rarely sat with the same person or group of people twice, and because I hardly knew anyone, I was constantly introducing myself and what I do. The last day of the conference I was "on" from 7.30am to 10.15pm. At that point, I retreated to my room to have a shower and pack my bag in preparation for my 6.30am bus to the airport the next day (the programme for the day wasn't finished at that point, but I was finished).

The view from the island on our bike ride as the sun was setting.

Conferences are fun and stressful at the same time. This one I went to with high expectations, and only knowing two others. I obviously met many others, but did run into someone I hadn't seen since the mid '90s and was able to joyfully hear the story of his involvement in mission.

One of the lunch buffet tables. Feeding people from
52 nations is no joke. We mostly ate Singaporean
food. (At least I assume that's what we ate...not
being a Singaporean expert.)

There were a number of other missionaries too. A New Zealanders in India, Americans in the Philippines, Nigeria, and a ?British couple in Costa Rica. I met a lady who has worked in the Hong Kong office of OMF and one who works with archives in the UK offices of OMF.

I've never been at a conference with an app. It was brilliant. The go-to place to check the schedule, but also an easy way to check out other attendees, to connect and communicate with them, or ask questions. Here's a screenshot of the homepage:

It was a delightfully international environment. The main focus of Media Associates International (the organisation behind this three-yearly event) is encouraging the writing and publishing of books in local languages. It was exciting to see people from countries where it is challenging to be a Christian, getting training and becoming excited about the potential.

My roommate. A delightful person to debrief with at
night time!

Near our hotel. In the background: apartments, I think.

The venue was quite lovely, though because the programme was pretty busy there were days that I didn't do much other than sit, and change rooms, and eat. The hotel was at one end of Singapore, a bit of a distance from the main city centre (not that anywhere is far from anywhere in Singapre). Close to the hotel was a grassy island/park and a beach. I skipped one main session and went wandering over to the island for some serenity (mid-week it was a very quiet spot).

On Thursday I squeezed in a ride between 5.45 and dinner (complimentary bike hire for an hour for hotel patrons). It's been several months since I was on a bike, and it was great to jump back on. However hopping off the bike wasn't so easy. I'm blaming muscle memory: I usually ride a ladies bike, which are easy to dismount, but this was a mountain bike and in my haste to dismount, I tried to swing my leg in front of me. The end result was rather heavily falling on my knee and quite a large graze that bled rather well.

Knee covered by a bandaid I probably wouldn't have
had with me had I not been a mum-of-boys!

Small touches that make a hotel seem a bit fancy. This was one of the ladies' loos.

 A playground on the island. I sat here for a while soaking up the serenity of not having anyone to concentrate on listening to or questions to answer.

 

You see that I couldn't just leave it at "Australia". With so
many internationals there, I reckon they should have
had an option for two countries on the nametag!

This is a taste of the botanical gardens. That's for another post: our mid-week excursion to these extensive gardens. I took my big camera there and will show you some of my photos another day. 

Enough words for today. I've had a much needed day-off and now need to get a good night's sleep. This week I shold have plenty of blogging time, so hopefully I'll be able to catch-up a little and tell you some more about what I've been up to and thinking about.

LittWorld conference Day 1

A not-so-lengthy post from the conference I'm attending in Singapore. Today is the first full day. I arrived in the early hours of Sunday, but we didn't begin until dinner-time last night.

The conference is a Christian Global Publishing conference. That is, there are people here from 52 different countries (more than 250 people). They include publishers, writers, editors, designers, screenwriters, and marketers. It's quite an extraordinary collection of people.

I've been pleasantly surprised by the Biblical and godly focus of those who are running the conference, but also by the non-Western input we've already had. We've had two worship times already and they've been a blessing to me. The theme of the conference is "the Word made fresh", so a focus on the Bible. Last night we had a speaker from the Egyptian Bible Society. He told us some amazing stories.

Often these "international" events are very US or UK biased, but thus far the only American speakers we've had from the front are the MC and a tiny bit from the President of the organisation running the event (MAI Media Associates International). I'm used to being a part of an international organisation, but the OMF has its limits, as in, our focus is on East Asia and most of our missionaries come from a limited group of countries, countries that have an official OMF home-side presence (though that is now changing). So, there is limited African, European, and South American influences. I'm losing count of the nationalities of people here I've had conversations with. Here's what I can remember: Egypt, Cambodia, Malaysia, Kenya, US, UK, Italy, Costa Rica, Serbia, Slovenia, Slovakia, South Africa, Japan, Laos, Australia, and Hungry.

Here are some things I'm already thinking about: 

• What other value can I add to what we do with Japan Harvest magazine aside from the magazine. Can we do something else that gets people more involved outside of them actually just reading the magazine?
• How can I think more globally about my writing about things local?

What follows are some photographic "thoughts" of the last couple of days.

A largely empty Brisbane International Airport. Middle of the afternoon on a Saturday, I was really surprised! I had a very smooth flight, but I was very tired by the time arrived, having had a 23 hour day (we spoke at a breakfast meeting in Brisbane on Saturday).

Upstairs garden. This was the view outside the first room that I occupied. I arrived at about 1am and was given a single room for 11 hours. After that I changed to a double room for the rest of the conference, I don't know why I couldn't have booked into the second room when I first arrived on Sunday morning, but oftimes when you travel you just have to go with what you get.

Below are more views from my first room.

More view. It's a lovely area. I wandered around here a bit yesterday as I looked for a cheap lunch option.

Gorgeous display that greets those of us who "live" on the third floor.

A street-level view of the local area. This is close to many vendors, but it delightfully thought out.

Lunch. I didn't sit at this table, but most tables have a quite the variety of nationalitities. People are mixing well.  Many people don't know a lot of others. Each meal has been a
buffet with a fair variety of food. We're certainly not starving: for food or conversation.

This is where we are located on the island. Quite close to the airport, but the plane noise hasn't been a big concern.