Library, lamington, and love

Raspberry lamington that
one of the library assistants
gave me for helping them this week.
The school has an Aussie chef
in their cafeteria and he regularly
makes his own lamingtons for the students.
Yum!
For those who don't know: these
are Australian, in fact from
Queensland (though origin stories
differ as is common with food). They are
sponge cake chunks covered
on all sides with icing and coconut.

This week school started. It's a marker in our lives, even though I am not employed there and have no kids there, and David's already been back at work for nearly two weeks. I've enjoyed seeing CAJ-related friends over the last week. On Friday we had the staff-and-families dinner at school. On Monday I had lunch with a US friend who lived in Brisbane for a number of years. And then I went to school two days for an hour or so to help with shelving books in the library. They are understaffed at present (no librarian-teacher), so some help was appreciated. I always love spending time in a library and this one has been a special place for 20 years now! The social interaction was also fun. I love working at home, but sometimes it gets a little lonely.

At my desk I've been working with text and authors to get the next Japan Harvest magazine into the "Design phase". Sometimes this is easier than others. This time there have been some tough challenges that I'm still trying to find my way through.

As usual, I'm juggling the magazine work with the social media team work and in the background have other projects that are waiting on my finding some spare time and brain space.

My office is a great space, except in the midst of the worst of summer—it has no air conditioning or ceiling fan. When the days have been over 35 C for the last week or so, I've been able to funnel the air con from the main area down the hall to my office using a couple of standing fans. Yesterday I didn't start doing that until I got back from school at lunchtime and my office stubbornly remained over 30C until we had a fierce storm that cooled things off. I'm a Queenslander and don't mind low-30s too much if I'm just relaxing, but trying to get my brain to work on complex editing and writing matters when the room is stifling is hard. It's amazing how much clearer my head is at 28/29 C!

One of the exciting things this week has been to get some big details sorted for another social media team retreat. Venue and dates have been up for debate for a few months, but we've finally nailed that down and I can get to work on the finer details prior to our end-of-October retreat.

It's no surprise to you that I spend a lot of time reading. I read for pleasure and I read for work, if I'm on my own I read while I'm eating and while I'm relaxing. My work is in the space of mission and Japan, and my reading reflects those spaces. I also read to grow in my spiritual life. This week I saw a blog post called "More than enough" published by Thrive, a largely online ministry to Christian women working cross culturally. You can see it here: https://thriveministry.org/connection/devotional/more-than-enough2

One of the things I've struggled with in Japan is comparison. Actually I think it's a universal problem that women experience, but somehow doing what we do and where we do it, cross cultural workers end up with very high expectations of ourselves which we inevitably fail at. 

It's something that maybe I've gotten better at—I'm more comfortable in my skin now than I was 25 years ago...but still every now and then those cursed comparison thoughts shoot through my head and I feel useless and unlovely. So this little article was a good reminder. The author writes:

I stumbled upon John 15:9, that says, “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.” The lightbulb clicked on. Jesus loves me the way the Father loved Him. I am loved completely, without surprise, without reservation, and without disappointment. I had no business comparing myself to anyone but Jesus. I would never measure up to the fake standards I could put on myself. But since God loves me, I could throw those standards away and rest in His love. 

"I have no business comparing myself to anyone but Jesus" and those standards I have set up are fake. I don't know who needs to be reminded of this today, but I did. And I need to go forward into the rest of the day resting in God's love!

Convenience stores: cultural differences

I did drive past at least one convenience store/service station, and have
a photo to prove it. Actually I think these sorts of combos are increasingly
common, at least in Brisbane I think I saw quite a few.

I need some help from you today. Convenience stores are very common in Japan. There are more than 50,000 of them, check out this article to bone up on the Japanese convenient store and their long list of services. They are so common that you can count on finding one within a short walk in urban areas. When travelling around the countryside we count on being able to fairly easily find one for lunch between campsites!

Yesterday I spent a couple of hours with my language exchange friends and they asked about convenience stores in Australia.

The difficulty is that not only are common in Japan, they provide many services beyond a quick place to grab a meal. It really is difficult to think of what they might compare to in Australia. Possibly service stations come the closest, though the range of food and services that your average Japanese convenience stores offer far exceeds the average Australian service station.

I had to admit to my friends that in the 15 days I spent in Australia I never once set foot in a convenience store, I can't actually remember the last time I went to an Australian convenience store. In fact I'm not even sure where the closest one was to where I was living. That was inconceivable to one of my Japanese friends who hasn't been to Australia for more than 20 years. 

One day in Brisbane I was on foot and looking for a place to have a mid-afternoon snack and had to think about where I might find something like that outside the large shopping centre in our neighbourhood. I ended up at a service station and bought a Magnum (on our list as a "missed food" from Australia, and one that can't be mailed!).

So here are my questions for you:

• Do you know where your closest convenience store is?
• Do you ever go to convenience stores?
• What would you buy at a convenience store (in Australia, or wherever you are outside of Japan)?
• If you're away from home and need to buy a small snack or "something to keep you going", where would you go to buy it?

Brisbane trains

So a bit of a different post from my sojourn in Australia. I travelled on the train today and took some photos of things that are a little bit different to Tokyo.

No ticket gates on many stations (i.e. a place you have to swipe your transit card to get through). You have to "level-up" and remember to touch your transit card to a "post" on the platform somewhere (short, yellow pillar in the middle of the photo).

Train stations with park-and-ride car parks, and dedicated drop-off areas. The former I haven't seen in Tokyo and the latter is uncommon. Also, the areas around train stations in Tokyo are generally really built-up, not necessarily so in Brisbane. 

As an aside, this train station seemed to be next to a train workshop and they appeared to be testing the horn of the yellow train you can see in the picture behind the cars. It was LOUD!

Inside a Brisbane train is designed for less people. Most Tokyo trains only have seats lining the sides so a maximum number of people can fit (standing) in the carriage. There are also many more things to hold onto in a Tokyo train, again, because many people ride them standing up.

It's hard to see, but also in this photo is a button next to the door that you have to press in order to open the doors. All the doors open whenever you stop on a Tokyo train—one reason that they are so overheated in winter, because otherwise it would get quite cold inside with all the door opening.

Ah yes, and the big elephant: many, many less lines. I didn't get a photo of the timetable, which reveals how few trains actually run on these few lines. Train travel is not as convenient as Tokyo. You have to be more careful about when you get to the station, so that you aren't waiting 29 minutes for the next train.

I was surprised at how long we stopped for at most stations. In Tokyo you get very little time to hop on or off for most stops.

Coffee comparison

I haven't done much price comparison here before (once in 2011), but this one particularly intrigues me.

This article looks at coffee prices in various popular coffee chains in Japan. The graph they present is prices of "regular-sized straight coffees" (whatever that is). The prices range from 190 yen for a cup (AU$2.18) to 580 yen (AU$6.64). Though I suspect that the more expensive the coffees were, the smaller the cups were!

I've sampled coffee at several of the cafes featured and my preference is for those in the upper middle range. Those coffees are around 300 yen (AU$3.44). Although I usually buy the more expensive cafe latte. A "tall" cafe latte at Tullys is 410 yen. If Wikipedia is correct about Tullys in Japan, that is a 350ml cup.

My curiosity is about Australian coffee shops. How do the prices compare? How much do you pay for a regular-sized straight coffee in Australia? (And what is that anyway, in Australian coffee-terms, a short black?)

My other question is related to coffee, but not this the price so much. I prefer my coffee in a mug. And am annoyed that Starbucks just uses disposable cups (not that I go there often). But I am interested in the idea of using my own. I believe that you get a small discount in some places when you do that. I haven't tried it yet (I've only got my somewhat dowdy camping travel mug). I'm wondering if I did, what sort of travel mug I should get and what size? But again, I prefer a ceramic mug to drink my coffee out of . . . it's not quite the same out of a plastic container.

Back to my original question: I'm interested in hearing, what the current cost of cafe coffee is in Australia!

Secret struggle of women

One of the secret struggles of most women is comparison. It's a struggle for missionaries too. I wrote a bit about it here (though the main issue talked about was struggle with David being absent when the boys were younger) and here, when I wrote about discovering my "sweet spot" and how that came out of a period of negative comparison with other missionaries.

I struggle with it often, especially in the area of Japanese language ability, but other areas too. I think I've probably improved a bit over the years as I've discovered how God's gifted me and he's given me roles to play in Japan that have been satisfying, but it's still there. Indeed, the mini retreat I did a couple of weeks was partly dealing with the toxicity of comparison that I'd allowed into my thoughts recently.

When you first become a missionary you have your own ideas of what a missionary is like and you also look around at other missionaries to learn what they are like and, presumably, what you should aim to become. It's both a helpful and a toxic activity. Yes, it's good to be inspired by those around us and learn from them. But too often we get skewed one way or the other: either to pride (I'm doing much better than her) or to being down on ourselves I'm so bad compared to her or I wish I was as good at her at...

I edited an excellent short article about this for the Japan Harvest magazine earlier this year. You can find it here.

Comparison tempered by humility gives us a proper view of ourselves in relationship to others, which can keep us from falling into sin. (From the JH article just mentioned.)

Recently I read another article by a missionary about a time she particularly struggled with this, it turns out to be a fairly old article, but still oh so relevant: Frumpy, grumpy, and useless.

I need to keep my eyes on Jesus, remembering that he made me and nothing he makes is bad. Indeed he made me for a reason and with a purpose in mind. One that is different to every other person I meet.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverancethe race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith". (Hebrews 12:1-2 NIV).

But now I need to go and pack my bag for camping tomorrow. It will be so good to get away from this computer and all the tasks that it holds!

Don't compare, it cripples

Our conference photo: about 120 adults, 70 kids, plus childcare workers.
We're the largest mission in Japan and when we all get together
it is quite a sight.

A great temptation at missionary conferences is to compare. This is the one time you get together with others in the world who are most like you, it is the one place in the world where you seem most ordinary. And it is a place where it is very tempting to compare yourself to others.

It was refreshing to share one lunch with two couples: one who's been around longer than us and the other who are newbies. The advice from the former to the latter was: "No comparison." It was good to hear again. It's something we need to regularly remind ourselves of because otherwise we slip into saying things like this (either to ourselves, or aloud):

• My Japanese is awful.
• I'm a second-class missionary.
• I wish I had better evangelistic skills.
• There's been no fruit in my ministry for ages.
• If only I had gifts like so-and-so I'd be okay.
• What am I going to write in my prayer letter this month? It's still the same-old-same-old, not like so-and-so who's had three baptisms in the last three months.
• Just look at that missionary family, they seem to have it all together, their kids are bilingual and they're all so talented.

And so on. The temptation to compare is huge. Usually we put ourselves down, but pride can be an issue too.

I know that missionaries aren't immune to this. Last week I came across a excellent blog post from a writer's perspective about comparison. It's very relevant to whoever you are, I recommend you read it if you struggle in this area (and I'm betting it's most of us).

I need not feel threatened by the achievements of others. When I do feel threatened I am not able to encourage or build up others. I am in self-preservation mode and lose sight of the big picture. I am more likely to miss loving God and loving my neighbour the way God wants me to. 

Jenny Glazebrook, from linked blog post.

American biscuits vs Australian scones (Part 2)

Recipe 1: American biscuit

Recipe 2: Australian scone

Most guessed right. The chief difference (aside from the ratio of baking powder to flour) that I can see is how the recipe recommends they be served. Both American and Australian say "with jam" but the American adds "or with sausage gravy for breakfast" and the Australian adds "and cream".

Interestingly this morning I had coffee with a friend at a well-known American coffee chain. The food case had, lined up (now I wish I'd taken a photo): scones, American biscuits, and cookies. The main visible difference between the scones and biscuits was "bits" added. The biscuits were plain and round and the scones had chocolate chips or dried fruit and were triangle-shaped.

This is making me hungry plus hankering after a baking session . . . but I've got other work to do before the kids come home.

However, I'll leave you with a recipe for Australian Pumpkin Scones, just in case you were feeling like me. This is a recipe by a famous lady from my home state. I lived and worked in her home town for a while too: Lady Flo Bjelke-Petersen, but I can't claim to having met her.

Here's a bit of a story I found here about these scones:

Pumpkin scones . . . became very popular in Australia as a must have with a cuppa. They were made very famous by the wife of one of our longest serving Premiers of Queensland, Lady Flo Bjelke-Petersen.  

Lady Flo, was famous for greeting visiting journalists and dignitaries with a cuppa and a batch of freshly baked pumpkin scones. Just a little side comment and for a bit of a giggle she even wrote a book titled 'Politics and Pumpkin Scones'.

Is Japan expensive?

Average rent in Tokyo for a 3LDK^ is 162,000 yen per month, or just under AU$1,700 per month. Our house is technically a 4LDK, but it is old and the rent we pay is less than the

This is our house (the green/blue coloured
roof) with our car in the carport.

average stated above. The average for the same size accommodation in the whole country is 88,000 yen (about AU$920). We pay more than this, but it's understood that property costs make doing mission in Tokyo expensive.*

This is the living expense in Japan that is way higher for us. Groceries aren't much different to Australia. Australia has caught up to Japan in this area, when we first moved to Japan there was a large difference in grocery expenses, but not any more.


^Here is a decoder for the abbreviations above (they are standard for real estate here): 

“D” stands for “dining” and “K” stands for “kitchen”. A 1K is an apartment with a main room and a kitchen that may be separated from the main room by a wall, but sometimes is not. A 1DK has a main room, with a dining area and a kitchen (which again, may not be separated by a wall).

“L” stands for “living”. A 1LDK apartment has a living room, dining area, kitchen and one additional room; 1LDKs are bigger than 1Rs/1Ks/1DKs. 

The number in front of the K or DK stands for the additional number of rooms, so a 2K has two rooms and a kitchen. A 2DK has two rooms plus a dining area and kitchen. A 2DK apartment in Tokyo is typically about 40 square meters, but this can vary.

*Source: http://resources.realestate.co.jp/report/average-rent-in-japan-by-prefecture/

Be careful what you envy

While I get sympathy for having three boys, I'm also on the receiving end of envy for having three smart kids.

Sometimes at the end of a day with my boys I feel
like I've been metaphorically pummelled with a
speeding bowling ball, multiple times.

I usually respond that being smart doesn't make them easy kids to parent. Yes, it does mean that we don't often agonise over homework. They generally don't struggle with the content.

But, that doesn't mean that they have good time-management skills, or good people skills. It doesn't mean that they know how to concentrate on one thing at a time.

In fact we have difficulties with too much interest in too many things. That can be a great distraction for actually getting the necessary things done. We have trouble with too much thinking. Thinking, in exclusion to actually getting things done (like getting dressed for school).

Self-control, yes, that's an issue too. We have issues with "not suffering fools". This can produce very rude behaviour. Overconfidence and arrogance, yes, that appears here too. We struggle with boredom, compounded with a great deal of boy-energy and competitiveness.

Because they are smart, a lot is expected of them and not much sympathy is given. That's a hard standard to live with.

Someone recently said to me that being very intelligent is a little bit like having a car with a large, powerful engine under the hood. You need good control and good brakes to deal with a car like that. Little people, more often than not, don't have the necessary skills to deal with that.

I'm not saying I'd rather have my kids less intelligent. I think they are going to be amazing adults, if only we can get them through growing up! Parenting kids like this is hard work. You really have to be on your toes! These kids are sharp and not much gets past them. We can't fob them off with a not-quite-right answer. You have to work hard to be ahead of them.

Be careful what you envy

I used to envy the good looks of a good friend. But when I realised that she had difficulties with telling if a guy was really interested in her, or just being with someone beautiful, the idea of being so beautiful lost a bit of its glamour.

Many times we envy what we don't have, not realising that what the other person has or is also comes with its own issues. It comes down to striving to be content. Ah, such a difficult balancing act.

"But godliness with contentment is great gain" 1 Timothy 6:6 (NIV). "...be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you" Hebrews 13:5b (NIV). (This is in the context of money, but it applies more widely than that.)

Fighting toxic comparison

Here's a good post, it caught my attention because it began in the context of envying another missionary's language ability. I'm tempted to say, "I've been there", with regards to envy but that is past tense and not a complete truth. This is a constant battle: not to envy other people for the way God made them and resent the way He made me.

On our recent holiday. We're a great team, this half isn't
anywhere near so good when we're apart.

Right now I'm fighting frustration at how badly I cope with my husband being away (he's in Hong Kong for six days). I have friends all around whose husbands are away for weeks at a time, yet I (and my kids) seem to struggle to cope. Possibly my friends are not telling me all the ugliness that happens at their homes at these times, but I can tell you there's been ugliness here this week. Particularly at meals. I don't think we've made it through one meal without one boy storming out of a meal or being sent out (and that is the same boy every meal). And that's not telling you how ugly I've been in the face of my boys' disobedience, defiance, selfishness etc.

I hate it that I hate these times, that I don't cope well. That's when envy can come in. I don't envy the fact that others have husbands who are away for long periods. I envy their apparent ability to cope.

This quote from the above mentioned blog post is what I've personally found the most helpful:

5. Pray for acceptance of who I am and how I am gifted, or not. So much of my envy comes from insecurity and inability to accept who I am, how I’m wired, my strengths and my weaknesses.  As I work through accepting how God made me, the circumstances where he has placed me, envy is squashed. I learn more about trust and faith.

Me and a skeleton

I mentioned back here that I was feeling nervous about speaking to the Grades 3 to 5s in chapel on Thursday. I had quite a bit of fun doing it, though, despite my nerves. I had no trouble holding their attention. Probably not because I'm an amazing speaker, but because they're a pretty good bunch PLUS I had a captivating guest who shared the stage with me.


My topic was "God designed each us with a special purpose." I started by getting the Grade 3 boys (of which one was my son) to move from one side of the stage to the other by various means. Only one was allowed the walk, the others used various means, like hopping, walking backwards, commando crawling etc. We agreed, in the end that walking was the best, easiest way to get around. Then I introduced my guest.


Emily, the school skeleton. I have the benefit of having the Science Department head as my husband and happened to know about Emily's presence at the school. I also studied anatomy for a year at uni, so I'm somewhat familiar with skeletons. (I slept with Hector under my bed for at least a year!) It was funny when the teacher doing the sound and lights for chapel gave me the mike beforehand. He found me with Emily and felt a bit spooked about touching a real skeleton! The kids were equally amazed. They were sooo silent. I guessed they probably weren't staring at me.


I pointed out to them that Emily's long thigh bone had an entirely different purpose to the small wrist bone, and the thick, flat skull bone. It is pretty obvious when you look at a skeleton like that!


I then went on to talk about how people are like bones, in that God has given us all different abilities and skills. And that it is pointless envying others. It is also wrong, even, to think ourselves better than someone else because we can do one thing, like soccer, better than they can. 


This is an old theme. One that Paul spends quite a bit of time on in 1 Corinthians 12. I read to them from the Message (see below*). One mother who was there was quite impressed at the "monster" reference. It is quite appropriate for this age group!


This theme is appropriate for any age group, though. I caught two mums in a conversation recently, one praising the other about how clever she is. I quickly pointed out that they both have special abilities. And, of course they agreed, but isn't it easy to get off on the comparison wagon? Comparing ourselves negatively to others seems to be a particularly easy trap to fall into. 


I've written about it before here, in terms of finding our Sweet Spot. And the Women's Retreat I went to last week also talked about it, in terms of finding your spiritual gifts. It is an important topic. Not that we should keep navel gazing, wondering who we are all the time, but rather that we should keep our eyes on Jesus and asking him how he wants us to serve him, rather than looking at others and asking Jesus to help us be like them. 

*A body isn't just a single part blown up into something huge. It's all the different-but-similar parts arranged and functioning together. If Foot said, "I'm not elegant like Hand, embellished with rings; I guess I don't belong to this body," would that make it so? If Ear said, "I'm not beautiful like Eye, limpid and expressive; I don't deserve a place on the head," would you want to remove it from the body? If the body was all eye, how could it hear? If all ear, how could it smell? As it is, we see that God has carefully placed each part of the body right where he wanted it. 

 ^19-24But I also want you to think about how this keeps your significance from getting blown up into self-importance. For no matter how significant you are, it is only because of what you are a part of. An enormous eye or a gigantic hand wouldn't be a body, but a monster. What we have is one body with many parts, each its proper size and in its proper place. No part is important on its own. Can you imagine Eye telling Hand, "Get lost; I don't need you"? Or, Head telling Foot, "You're fired; your job has been phased out"? As a matter of fact, in practice it works the other way—the "lower" the part, the more basic, and therefore necessary. You can live without an eye, for instance, but not without a stomach. When it's a part of your own body you are concerned with, it makes no difference whether the part is visible or clothed, higher or lower. You give it dignity and honor just as it is, without comparisons. If anything, you have more concern for the lower parts than the higher. If you had to choose, wouldn't you prefer good digestion to full-bodied hair?

Trap of comparison

I've just found a great post here by my friend Cath about the trap of comparison when you're a mum (but it really applies to whatever you are, however mums are particularly vulnerable). She wrote it nearly three years ago, but it is just as applicable now as then.

Why must we compare?

I get annoyed at pigeon holing. Why must we categorise? I guess it helps our tiny brains to comprehend things. Sometimes labels are helpful, but often not.

Why must we decide whether or not this latest disaster in Australia is "the worst ever"? I mean, does it matter? Probably it is a comfort to those going through the trauma, but really. Is it something we need to debate? The disaster is bad, very bad. Some statistics can help:

A local government official said even with an organised approach, restoring the state's infrastructure would take a couple of years because some of it had been wiped out...the biggest damage will be to the state's roads, with between 70,000km to 90,000km of council roads damaged by floods.

That's a lot of roads and a long time. When you put money in the picture it is big too - billions of dollars they are saying.

So, while it hasn't cost many lives (though every life is precious and to focus only on numbers is also heartless), it is an expensive disaster. I particularly think of the many who were struggling to pay their mortgages before this. What now? No assets and huge debt. How will the Banks react - with compassion? 


And just the trauma of it. Witness a disaster like this is emotionally traumatic - even at a distance. Imagine the man who waited for rescue on the roof of his house for 12 hours and watched bodies float by and wondered if he'd be next. Or the little boy who saw his big brother dragged away by the current.


But is it truly possible to compare it with the impact of a 20 year drought, for example? Or the disasters where many more lives have been lost? Is it possible to say that this is worse than a disaster that hit a small town and totally devastated the lives of those people, but didn't touch  more politically important or logistically important large towns? Is it even possible to say that this is better or worse than the flood which occurred in '74, based on the height of the river, when so much more development has happened in the region?


I don't know the answer. 

It isn't too often that I have a rave on this blog. I guess today is just the day. Maybe I could psychoanalyse myself and talk about the stages of grief - denial, anger etc.?

Time to get on with doing something else productive.