They Grow Up

I had a conversation with a friend after church today. He's in the deep throes of little-boy parenting. He wondered if I wanted two more boys for a while . . . I tried to reassure him that these boys do grow up and fairly fast too! He said, "So people keep trying to tell me."

During the service, I was sitting next to my biggest boy (who turns 15 in May). It isn't too long ago that I had to take a swag of things to keep him busy and sitting quietly (or, as he grew, encourage him to bring his own stuff). 

My "fiddle toy" (pen for size comparison).

This boy has so much energy! From the time when he could get around he's always moved. It was crazy for us until he learned to read, then we would get some rest time. It is one reason we love to see him doing sports and using his energy in a positive fashion (it also helps him sleep at night). 

Usually these days, though, he sits very quietly through a whole service (an hour). 

Today he was a tiny bit restless, which led him to fiddle with things like a plastic bag, and the clip on some headphones. I don't mind him fiddling, but those things were making noises in the ultra-quiet environment of a church devoid of younger children (they were all in Sunday School or in the "cry" room out the back). So I fished out a small item that I carry with me. I carry it because I'm also a fidgeter, I need something in my hands in a situation where I'm just listening, or a little bit bored but have to sit still and look attentive. This little coil fits easily onto one of my fingers and so is a perfect, less than obvious "toy" to fiddle with.

Perhaps a slightly better photo?

It was all my son needed to sit quietly for the rest of the service. Ten years ago I wouldn't have believed you, if you'd have said that would be all it would take. Actually, even five years ago!

So, take heart, all you parents who ever despair of your kids sitting quietly in an environment such as that, it can and will happen! Indeed, these kids do grow up and shed those childish things that we tear our hair out about!

Snow Days

The road out the front of our house that we
walk down to go to school.

In the midst of yesterday's wrestling excitement, I didn't mention that school was cancelled yesterday, as well as the musical scheduled to be performed last night and today, as well as the homeschoolers' event at school today (where my husband was going to be taking a class on hands-on science). 

The snow started really light and it looked for a while like a bad decision to cancel all those things, but the snow kept coming and got heavier later in the day and into the night. We've ended up with another huge snowfall (for Tokyo). For the second time in a week our road is covered with piles of the stuff. Don't be fooled, it is very wet and not too much fun for playing in. It is light on top, but certainly quite heavy underneath for shovelling. I've seen a number of photos on Facebook of carport roofs collapsing. Thankfully our carport is under the house, so no problems there.

This is very unusual weather for Tokyo. We've seen winters where there is no snow, or only enough to dust the ground before it melts. We're not set up for it, so it looks bizarre to those in places like Sapporo in the north, where they almost never cancel events for snow.

Here's what the road usually looks like. Two cars find it
difficult to pass in front of our house where that power
pole is. There isn't much room to pile snow. We only have
enough room to park two small bikes between our house and the
front fence. No room to pile snow inside our fence line.

Today the temperature has shot up several degrees (it about 8 or 9 now the sun's out) and the snow is melting quickly off roofs and dropping on unsuspecting people or gardens below. But there is too much for it to all disappear quickly. We cleared a path to the drain down the road, but I'm not sure how much help that will be.

The space between the front of our house
and the front fence, with two
snowed-in bikes.

This morning I went out and took over from David in clearing at least the road back to the white line you see in the photo without snow. It was pretty exhausting, but then I've done almost no exercise in two and a half weeks due to this cold I'm still recovering from (my left ear is still deaf, I'm not sure the antibiotics have worked their magic, and my asthma is gradually settling, but I'm still on a high dosage of medication).

But I'm not complaining. This storm has given us a five-day long weekend. This weekend would have been four days long and is called "Winter Break". But this storm has cleared the calendar of events, so we only have church on Sunday morning and a family excursion on Monday that you'll hear more about later. Other than that, we're hanging around at home. Which, I have to admit, is a welcome break, after our many busy weekends since Christmas.

Looking right from our front gate.

Our small backyard is drowning in snow.
In case you're wondering, there is not access
from the front to the back (except about
a 30cm wide path on both sides of the house
that I've never tried to go along).

It is surreal to read of people complaining of a 35 degree day in my birth-town. Yeah, different sides of the equator alright!

Oh the fun you can have when you . . .

Yesterday I had such a fun day! As I wrote on Monday, I went to the biggest annual wrestling event that our school is involved in. It included international and US base schools from Japan, Korea, and Guam. 16 schools in all. Quite large considering our local league is only six schools.

We left home at about 7.30, arrived a bit after 9 and watched continuous wrestling until after 5pm. That's right, continuous—there was no lunch break. The two mats that filled the gym each had a wrestling match going on for more than eight hours!

It was noisy and busy. Plenty of tension and emotion in the air, since every bout counted.

Five of the six mums who were there yesterday. We had a
bird's-eye view from the top of the stands and had a great time.
Two of these mums saw their sons win gold today.

Most schools didn't have many parent supporters, because they'd come a long way. So our team of eleven guys and two coaches, with about a dozen parents, was privileged. And I tell you we made a lot of noise at times! Especially fun was having these other mums here. 

There was great spirit amongst the parents and I had some great, if somewhat fragmented, conversations with a couple of other mums. Watching wrestling like this isn't conducive to good conversation, because our team was fairly strong and frequently we were interrupted by needing to cheer for someone, sometimes two at once! We had lots of fun!

One reason I went was to take our wrestling son so that he could watch some higher level wrestling and learn. But also to familiarise him with this bigger event, presuming that he'll probably be on the team in a couple of years. He's glad he went, though it was a long day and he did get a little bored because he wasn't wrestling himself. 

This was a long and hard fought match. We yelled like crazy.
Here the ref is about to raise the CAJ wrestler's arm.

But I am super glad that I went. After watching these guys all season, it was fabulous to see them wrestling at their best. Our team did very well, better that I expected. Of our 11 wrestlers, six of them ended up in Finals. It is a three day event and the finals matches (for the first six places) were held this morning. I was very hard not to go back today. Our school ended up with two golds (Far East Champions), two silvers, two bronzes and one sixth.

At one point the seniors were warming up on this stage
area (with 16 schools in the gym, plus spectators and
coaches, there wasn't much room). A couple of the mums
went down to take a photo of them. I was way down the
other end of the gym and my zoom didn't quite cut it
in this low-light environment.

Those six medals were all taken by Seniors who've been wrestling for several years together. It would have been sweet to have been there to see that. 

I especially want to hug the mum of one of the guys who took out a gold. He has worked so hard at his wrestling, but always seems to get third, to lose out to a bad draw or a bad call from the refs. And he's such a lovely guy, a really great sport too. But this time, when it most counted, he triumphed against an excellent wrestler (to whom he'd lost at least twice this season).

I was really touched to see two of the wrestlers give their mums hugs at the end of the day. So sweet!

This is an attempt to take a panorama shot with my little
camera to give you a sense for what the place looked like.

On a funny note, I used US currency for the first time ever. We've gathered some in a little zip-lock bag as we've moved on and off US bases, and our son went to Guam last year too. My husband dragged it all out on Wednesday and said, you could use some of this up. Good idea! Unfortunately, not as easy as it sounds. If you've travelled overseas, you'll know it takes a while to get to know a new currency. I could manage the bills okay, the quarters (25 cents) were also okay, but the rest of the coins were a bit of a mystery. I ended up pulling all my change out and asking the lady at the concessions stand for some help. She picked through my coins and found (I hope) the appropriate ones. She was fully sympathetic, though, as a military wife she's lived in at least Japan and Europe and has had to deal with those currencies. I was very grateful for her help!

One advantage to the long travelling times in this city (the 22km took us over an hour yesterday), is that you can have some great conversations. We travelled with the above mentioned wrestler's parents. It was great to get to know them better.

But this marks the end of my wrestling highs for now. I'll just have to settle down for a bit and . . . hmmm, sleep in on Saturdays? Or, start working harder on preparing for home assignment? Maybe both!

But first I want to see some videos from today's finals...

Avoiding harm

I found this great advice from a veteran writer late last year: 

"When we tell only of our achievements, we do harm in two ways.

First, we imply we're above failure and therefore better or more mature than they are. Second, we imply that they're inferior because they struggle over issues that don't trouble us." Cec Murphey (See the whole blog post here.)

Here's a piece of honesty: this was one of our camping days
in Hokkaido last year. It was a pretty horrid day. The boys
were scared witless about the large bees that buzzed around
our tent. There were also a lot of mozzies about. Lots of anger
and shouting happened, and mostly by me!

Karen (an Aussie who works as a teacher in Cambodia, and who often reads and comments on this blog) wrote the following in response to the quote above:

I actually "hate" that some people hold missionaries up as "heroes". I know I'm not. I'm an ordinary person called to work in a different location, but I'm definitely no hero. I struggle, I fail, I shout at my kids and immediately wish I hadn't, I get tired, I get mad. I'm human. At the same time I love what God has called me to do.

It is one of the main reasons I keep this blog going, as a living testimony of how my family and I are just ordinary people, not heroes.

But Cec's words are good advice, not just for writers or missionaries, but it applies not just to professional writers, but for anyone on Facebook too! 

But as a missionary it is a good reminder that my newsletters or prayer letters should never just be about our family's or ministry's achievements. I've been accused in the past of being too open about our family's failures, but I'm not repenting of my ways! Yes, I've learned to be careful, especially about talking about other people in my family, but I will continue to be open about how human and not-perfect we are.

How about you? Has someone discouraged you by their seemingly perfect life? Has someone unexpectedly encouraged you by being honest about things in their life that aren't perfect?

Results of the Big Bedroom Switch

The great bedroom switch is now a couple of weeks behind us now and maybe you're wondering how it went. It was a big couple of days, switching it all over (incorporated into a big weekend that I wrote about here). However, I think it has all been worth it!

Two desks. Our middle son loves having his desk
here. It's shifted around a little in the past, but mostly
been just off the dining room in the lounge so that I
could supervise him (he's a terrific procrastinator).
However, he loves being up here after school on his
own (his older brother hasn't been coming home until
6.30 or later from wrestling training recently). The
biggest difficulty with this is arrangement is me
remembering to go up and check that he is
actually working.

The reason we changed was to help one of our sons who needed a break from the brother he was rooming with. He's settled down a lot since he's moved out, for which we're very grateful. The biggest issue we're dealing with now is a preteen who's struggling to go to sleep at an appropriate time because he wants to talk to his beloved older brother, who stays up later.

With the shifting of furniture, the ambiance of both rooms has changed considerably, to my surprise. We wondered how our biggest extrovert would cope with being in a room on his own, but he seems to be fine, even enjoying the peace.

And, as I said in that previous post, the shift enabled us to throw a lot of stuff out or put it aside for sale at CAJ's Thrift Shop in April. That was a bonus!

Another disappointing cancellation

We suffered another disappointment yesterday when we received an email telling us that today's Kanto Wrestling Finals was cancelled because not all the schools could participate due to school closings today. And we were given no hope of a reschedule.

After all the hard work our son and his team has done, it was very disappointing.

This area of Japan hosted a big snow storm
on Saturday, one of the biggest in the last
45 years. That is why the meet was
cancelled on Saturday.
This, by the way, was our backyard
on Saturday afternoon.

Additionally, this was his final (and best) chance at a medal because he'd only be competing against Junior Varsity (JV) wrestlers. He was hoping he might even get a gold, because he's beaten most, if not all the JV wrestlers he's met over the season. Alas, it was not to be.

Nonetheless we celebrate his season, it's been a good one. His tally was 13 wins and 4 losses. This is not at all what we expected, having been warned by the coach that high school was a big step up from the middle school competition. For sure, it looks better because he's been a JV wrestler, not a Varsity wrestler, but still, it's been a huge confidence boost for him and a blast for us as spectators watching him.

What's next?
Now we look forward to what's next. First I'm taking him to the first day of the three day "Far East" event on Thursday. "Far East" is the US Department of Defence (DOD) term for the Pacific region. All their DOD schools in the area (Korea, Japan, Guam) get together, and they invite some international schools like CAJ to compete too. It's a biggie, and only the Varsity wrestlers get to go. However one of the coaches at school suggested it would be good to take our son to see some higher level wrestling and prepare him for his (Lord willing) future involvement in the event. So I get one more wrestling meet to watch, but our son will just be an observer.

After this week our son plans to go back to his Japanese wrestling club once or twice a week. We're hoping he'll continue to work out after school some days in the weights room. His plan is to stay in shape because, as I wrote back here, he'll be joining a Australian wrestling club in July. We're not sure what the competition schedule will be like there, but it could be that they will have meets once every month or two. Last year there was a State championship in December. 

It will be an interesting experience, especially as there are only three clubs (that we know of) in the whole state. Our younger boys' eyes lit up this morning when I mentioned that they themselves could be wrestling in a meet before the end of the year! Phew, won't that be a challenging experience for mum? Three boys all wrestling competitively on the same day!

End of season reflections
But before I leave this wrestling post (and there sure have been a lot of them this season), I want to remember this post I wrote back at the end of our son's first wrestling season. It was a big surprise at the time to realise how much good value there was to be gained by participation in this sport. Here are some of the qualities I noted in that post, that I saw in developing in my son as he participated in wrestling:

• sportsmanship
• ability to cope with losing
• perseverance
• patience
• ability to overcome frustration in the heat of the moment
• compassion
• coaching and encouraging others

I stand by all of that and would add, "Learning from losing". Of course you can learn these in many different endeavours in life, it just so happens that our son is learning them through being a wrestler. It's exciting to see how he's grown as a wrestler (comparing this year's videos to his first year!) as well as grown and matured as a young man.

And I continue to be thankful for his coaches. They are passionate about their sport. They care about their team, they are always trying to help each wrestler be better than they are, to learn from their mistakes and experiences. But they also care more about God than they care about wrestling. This brings a great balance to the whole affair and they don't hesitate to talk to the guys about faith and life. It's fantastic to have such great role models for our guys.

Stuck in the muck

This morning we trudged through mushy snow to get to church. We all had snow boots/gum boots on so getting wet feet shouldn't have been a problem. 

Part of our walk home next to a local river. It is gorgeous
out today. Warm enough at 8 degrees. And the snow
is melting at quite a rate. Some places on the way home we
waded through melted snow up to ankle deep.

Except, have you ever seen children and snow? They rarely just walk past it (unless they're bored of it because they live in it for months, like we did when we live in the north of Japan). They touch it, scrunch it, pick it up, kick it, poke it, throw it, rumble in it. So, our boys inevitably got wet socks going to church. 

Therefore I shouldn't have been surprised when I glanced over at my middle son towards the end of the service and found him with his sock off. He had it up to his mouth and was blowing in it!

It reminded me of something I wrote on Christmas Day:

    I wonder how much culture shock Jesus suffered. After all he came from a perfect existence to a very smelly, dirty, painful one. But he did enter as a baby. It's not something really dwelt on in the Bible.
   I wonder, partly because last night I struggled to rise above the smelly and yucky of my world to engage in the Christmas Eve Candle service. I was wearing a mask in deference to our host culture, keeping my messy cold to myself and seated in a pew between two of our boys.
    I tried to savour the singing, though I didn't have enough breath to sing myself, and the Bible readings using my English translation.
    The mask was distracting, when I was having trouble breathing anyway, the mask made it worse by making the air warm... But worst of all was sneezing into it. Imagining having all those yuckies all over my face and breathing through it all was almost enough to make me want to throw up.
    Then there was a distinct sound from my left and the remaining ability I had to smell told me the boy had let one loose. Thankfully Japanese are stoic and there was no tittering, but I can only imagine what they thought, especially after this had happened two or three more times through the service.
    As I said, it was hard to concentrate on the blessed and holy! I'm just thankful that I'm saved by grace and not by the ability to concentrate perfectly.

Yep, church with kids is not something serene, it is not an activity done with a single mind and purified of all that is yucky. 

Yet, I love these boys. They keep me grounded. Just when I might be beginning to think I've made myself holy or becoming close to being acceptable to God, they remind me that my feet are firmly planted in all that isn't pure and light. In fact I'm downright plastered in the muck. No matter how hard I try, there's no way I can become acceptable to God. I'm too messy and live in a world just as bad. 

2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. (NIVUK)

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become. (The Message)

But isn't the following something to look forward to: (The Message again.)

Revelation 21:21 The main street of the City was pure gold, translucent as glass. But there was no sign of a Temple, for the Lord God—the Sovereign-Strong—and the Lamb are the Temple. The City doesn’t need sun or moon for light. God’s Glory is its light, the Lamb its lamp! The nations will walk in its light and earth’s kings bring in their splendor. Its gates will never be shut by day, and there won’t be any night. They’ll bring the glory and honor of the nations into the City. Nothing dirty or defiled will get into the City, and no one who defiles or deceives. Only those whose names are written in the Lamb’s Book of Life will get in.