An unsettled life

I write on this blog about my fairly ordinary life doing a not-so-ordinary job. It’s good to remind myself about that goal every now and then. Right now I’m feeling rather unfocused, partly because, as opposed to most of my adult life, overall I’ve actually got more time than responsibilities. I’m really struggling with what to do with that and finding it odd. After all, isn’t this what one longs for amidst a too busy life? Not being so busy is harder than I imagined.

It’s also hard to think about making commitments to longer term things because we need to keep our schedule flexible to visit with people and groups. That means committing to something regular isn’t wise, and committing to something that requires a lot of time is also not a great idea.

So, what to do? We’ve got some ideas, but we’re also aware that we’re tireder than we realise. The clue to that is how much recovery time has been needed after events and interacting intensely with people.

I’m also aware of still feeling so unsettled. Knowing that we’re probably not going to be here for long is unsettling and doesn’t encourage commitment (even to pot plants). I still feel like a bit of an alien in Australia. Not so much in one-on-one conversations, but just in general, when I’m out and about in public. I suspect that that might take longer than 12 months to settle down.

Layered on top of the temporary nature of this assignment is the transitory nature of this stage of life: we’re actively working on helping our two youngest sons to find somewhere to move out to (a complicated process that we are making progress on, pray for favour from a certain landlord, and one more housemate). Them moving out is a big life change for us all. One that’s been looming for a while, so it’s no surprise. It’s the right time for them to be moving on, but still has an emotional impact when lots of other things in our lives are also very unsettled.

Getting any traction in the midst of all this is difficult. It’s even been hard to stay on top of the many plates we still have twirling, because we’re less focused. For example, I’m usually great at promptly answering email, because I’ve usually been on my computer most days in recently years, but my email volume has dwindled down to a trickle, so I’m not on my computer every (work) day now and I fear that some things might be falling through the cracks.

What have I been doing with my time? On days that we’ve not been speaking, travelling, or preparing for either of these, I’ve had a lot more spare time. I’ve been reading more and continuing with my Japanese language review. We’ve been getting more sleep. I’ve pulled out my cross-stitch, something that I’ve not done for years outside of holiday times. We’re watching cricket, playing more Scrabble (and other games), and spending time with people we love. It’s a completely different pace to what we’ve lived at for years, and probably good, even if it feels like an ill-fitting coat.

After several quieter days (we even had a weekend at home last week), tomorrow we’re travelling again. David and our youngest son are driving eight hours north to see David’s mum. I’m travelling an hour away with a friend to a women’s convention for the weekend (and doing a little bit of up-front speaking). Much like I wrote about last week: the pace here keeps changing, and somehow we need to keep adjusting to it. I guess that’s making us more flexible?

Life keeps me flexible

We're in the midst of wrestling again, after a hiatus of several years. Our last big year of wrestling was 2016-17. There have been bits and bobs of wrestling in the years since, but, for various reasons, neither of our younger two sons are as passionate about the sport as their big brother is. Plus there's been injury (and a pandemic!)—last season our youngest son only wrestled once before being sidelined by a concussion. This year he's a senior and has gone out for wrestling one last time. It's taken me a while to back into the roll of things. I've just looked back at some of the blog posts I wrote during our eldest son's high school wrestling career, and it was a very intense time. This doesn't feel as big, perhaps because wrestling isn't our youngest son's main sporting passion.

So tomorrow, for the first time in several years, I'm hopping on the team bus (before the sun comes up) and heading to a day-long wrestling meet at a US army base. The blog posts I read this morning reminded me of the friendships forged in the past at these meets, but sadly I don't think any of those people will be around tomorrow (at least none of the CAJ wrestling-parents from the past). We'll see what eventuates. At least David will be there!

Our son is the "heavy-weight" of the team, in the 215 lb (97 kg) weight class. He's been watching live wrestling since he was very young (he attended his first meet was when his big brother was in Grade 7 and he was in Grade 2). And he competed on and off since he was around 10, but never with such big guys! He's won twice this season already, so we'll see how he goes tomorrow, the last meet before Christmas.

Then on Sunday we've got a friend from my uni days coming to visit with her family. They are in church ministry in Australia, but they have a strong interest in mission. The weather is looking good, if a bit chilly, so, after church we're planning to head to my favourite big park (in our van) for a picnic. Monday is going to be a bear as we recover from all that! Tuesday and Wednesday next week are also big ones, with various meetings/responsibilities downtown.

In between all of that I've got some baking to do: fudge that people have ordered, snacks for Sunday and for the school's seniors (a once-a-month encouragement organised by the parents of the class), and a usual amount for our own family to snack on.

Holidays are coming up too: with some time in the mountains before Christmas, and then our eldest son is coming to visit for Christmas from Australia for the first time in 3 ½ years! I'm looking forward to the break, and have a few books lined up. I should probably pick up my cross-stitch again, I don't think I've touched it all year.

Meanwhile, I've got some editing to do before we go away, and some writing. I'm excited to have been asked to do a "small" writing project for our US office: a series of blog posts about preparing for home assignment. It's really helpful for me to have a background project like that to work on, one that doesn't have tight deadlines and multiple moving parts and people. Plus it's a project that engages my writing brain more than my editing brain—it's nice to be on the other side of the relationship sometimes, it keeps me limber.

This week's travel story

Who can resist a good travel story? It's a common topic of conversation between those of us who live and work overseas. 

Like the time I got food poisoning in Manila and then the next day, on my way back to Brisbane got stuck for many hours on a plane on the tarmac, and then had to disembark and was stuck so long in the boarding lounge that we witnessed the crew go home! We ended up flying, but arriving in Hong Kong too late to catch the connecting flight to Brisbane, so got a free 24 hours in their fancy airport hotel. But still sick enough to not really enjoy the free food vouchers we also got.

Well, I've got myself a new travel story, in fact it's not over yet.

I find myself in a weird between-world just now. I feel a little bit transparent, in fact. It's a strange place. We were supposed to fly to Tokyo yesterday morning. But, like all the other flights we've booked on this trip, it was cancelled. Thankfully we were able to rebook pretty quickly. But the timing of discovering the flight was cancelled meant that we'd already said goodbye to everyone and were literally on our way to the airport. As we're flying from a nearby city, and we'd decided to minimise the pre-flight travel (and stress) by booking a hotel next to the airport. So Wednesday looked like this:

2 a.m. I woke up and my mind started roaming through all the logistics of the coming 30 hours. I think I drifted back to sleep sometime before the sun came up, but I'm not sure.

7 a.m. David and I had, what has become (during August) our regular morning video call and Bible reading/prayer time.

Sometime after 8 I had breakfast and chatted to my friend/host.

Sometime after that I spent an hour or so organising and packing my luggage, so that I'd had minimal unpacking at the hotel that night and had sorted my carry-on luggage for the next day.

Around 10.30 I lay down with a book and forced myself to be still for an hour.

11.30 I got up, packed the clothes that had been drying on the line in my luggage and went upstairs to make some lunch and chat with my friend and her daughter.

12.30 I put my two suitcases, backpack, and small travel shoulder bag in the car. Hugged my friend and her daughter goodbye. And left.

1.00 I pulled into where my middle son had been staying with his brother over the last 10 days. Sorted out final packing questions with them. Said goodbye to the house cat. Heard a few stories. And sadly said goodbye to our eldest son.

2.00 Drove to the other side of town to drop off our borrowed vehicle to its owners, who drove us to their nearest train station.

3.07 Hopped on the first of two trains (plus a bus) that would get us to the hotel.

3.30ish Hopped off the first train and struggled to figure out which platform the next train would be arriving on. Went up and down in the lift a couple of times! Finally got on the right train. I would not like to have mobility issues and be using Brisbane trains. We struggled to find easy ways to get our heavy suitcases up and over the train lines, and train platforms are, in many places, a big step down from the train.

3.49 These Brisbane trains don't have room for large suitcases. The seats are mostly facing towards the front or back of the train. I was squished into a seat beside a lady, with one of my suitcases where my knees should be and backpack balanced on top. I got a text from my husband: "Flight is cancelled"!!!!

Then ensued a lot of texting: back and forth with my husband as he sought to book another flight. Then quickly texted the lady in Wynnum who we'd only just said goodbye to (owner of car), asking if she could possibly host us again for three or four nights (she said yes). Checked to see if we could get from Wynnum to the Gold Coast airport by 7.30 a.m. via public transport on a Sunday morning (negative). Emailed the hotel to say we were cancelling that night's booking, but could we rebook for Saturday night.

Sometime after 4pm Changed trains and headed back up to Brisbane. Then changed trains again.

5.21 We arrived back where we'd first gotten on a train and were taken, a little shell-shocked, back to a lovely quiet home. This is where we had arrived in mid-June after our 36 hour journey from Tokyo. I can't say we were in much better shape when we arrived this time!

That evening, despite not being in a great way, I contacted the booking agent for the hotel and rebooked. Looks like the hotel has been very gracious and won't charge us for the late cancellation. I also figured out we needed a new PCR test, where to get that, and what we needed to do (print out a new pathology request). 

All afternoon my throat had been getting sorer and by the evening my head was starting to get clogged up too. The aftershock of it all made me shaky and I pretty much lost my appetite. I was slightly panicking about the possibility of COVID and the new PCR test I had to pass to fly again, but having only just recovered from COVID, it seemed unlikely. Nonetheless, the thought of going through another cold-like sickness wasn't appealing. It probably goes without saying that I didn't sleep well that night either, despite being exhausted. But the next morning (yesterday) I did feel a lot better about the whole affair.

On Thursday my main job was to get new PCR tests and also a few groceries to tide us over. Thankfully we were able to borrow the car for one more day. We're in a "granny flat" where there are some supplies in the cupboard and fridge, but not really enough for three days and nights. It was hard to plan for meals for just the two of us for those three days, and even more so once I realised (again) that portions sold in grocery stores are larger here, and often more expensive. For example, a small tub of yoghurt cost more than a large tub of yoghurt!

I also took some time to wander along the esplanade at Wynnum. Not the prettiest of beaches, but lovely to see the sea, and the sky, and trees, and to breath.

Today (Friday) has been a quiet at-home day. I'm thankful that once again we've jumped through the "negative COVID test hoop". I've managed to do a little bit of urgent editing, but mostly resting. Because I again didn't sleep well last night (read from 2 am to 4am!).

Tomorrow we begin the journey to the hotel airport again, though this time we're a little bit closer and we've got a lift to the hotel. This is a protracted journey that I hope will come to an end with my head on my pillow in my own home in Tokyo on Sunday night.

And why do I feel transparent? Well I've said goodbyes here and people have generally expected that I've left (unless they're on social media) and I was expected back in Tokyo yesterday, so people there are already saying "Welcome back". It's as if I'm in a time warp.

There's no knowing the "why" of this. But simply, it's good to recognise that we're not in control, and that times like these can grow our faith, when we continue to trust God amidst the uncertainty. We've had people praying for us. Our host sent us these verses:

So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

For I am the Lord your God
    who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
    I will help you. (Isaiah 41:10,13 NIV)

Comfort!

Being flexible

Here is an edited post I wrote in 2009. It is still relevant (though I no longer go to Curves):

The other night at Curves one of the trainers was giving out slips of paper detailing some changes during the next month in opening times. Just a simple slip of white paper, covered in black type, all in Japanese. 

They are very kind to me at the gym and knowing my reading isn't so good, so she attempted to convey to me verbally the essence of the message, to be sure that I understood it. She then apologised for any inconvenience, but I replied trying to say that my schedule is a bit flexible. Unfortunately I couldn't remember the word for "flexible". So I did what any foreigner with some Japanese knowledge will do, and I Japanized the English word and said I was "furekishiburu".


To understand this you have to know that Japanese is a syllabic language. That means that they don't construct words with single letters like in English, they construct words with syllables. This works fine, it really does, until they try to import foreign words. Just like when we try to read Welsh words which have not enough vowels, the Japanese panic a little when they see two consonants together. Then they insert vowels in the middle and on the end in most cases.

So McDonalds becomes an unwieldy Macudonarudo. An easier example would be "beetle" becomes "beetoru". They also have only five vowel sounds and some English consonants don't have an equivalent (for example "r" and "l" come out the same). However, once you put a word through this filter, they can actually pronounce it and remember it. 

Many, many English (and other language) words appear in Japanese and make foreigners' lives easier. They are even so kind as to use a different alphabet to distinguish between Japanese words and foreign-originated words. The problem comes when you cannot remember which words have been adopted and which have not. Occasionally you get a surprise when you use the Japanese word and they come out with an English-type equivalent. 

That's a long explanation, I'm sorry. I guess this story is not so easy to understand, after all! Anyway, they didn't know furekishiburu. 

After some explanation and gestures, they figured out what I meant and someone immediately said, "ahh, furekishiburu taimu". Can you translate? Yes - "flexible time". They had a phrase including the word, but not the adjective itself! Ah, the fun time we have living in a non-English speaking country. It sure makes you furekishiburu!

My flexible day

A quick photo on my way to school to pick up our son for his
appointment. They were up to number 7 when I left and onto 9 by the
time we got back. I'm so thankful for an easily accessible doctor.
Oh, and the consult, X-ray, and light splint only cost us
200 yen, or about AU$2.20!

Today's a bit of a crazy day. I had it all planned out, but that got tipped on its head when we realised that our youngest son's "sore thumb" that he incurred on Saturday during warm-up for wrestling, wasn't resolving. So we decided that I should take him to the doctor this morning.

I'd previously had a loose plan of catching up with a friend from the US who was "in town" just for a couple of days, and then having coffee with another friend . . . all before lunch. It turns out the second friend had some medical issues suddenly to deal with herself, so that plan was ditched.

Our son would have rather gone to the doctor after school, but after school was already booked. I'd made "elaborate plans" to go to a high school wrestling dual on the south side of town (about an hour away) and arranged for our younger two to hang out at a friend's house.

So my morning looked like this:

9.35 Left the house to go and "get in line" at the orthopaedic doctor before I collected my son from school. They thought it was quite normal for me to do such a thing, gave me a number and told me to get my son and come back as fast as possible, as was my plan. It was a little risky, but it worked perfectly.

10.05 I was back in the doctor 's waiting room with my son.

Today it's back into usual winter temps, and I've got my
scarf, jacket, gloves and ear muffs on again.
Beautiful sunshine, though!

10.15 In to see the doctor, who diagnosed a ligament strain/tear at the MCP joint (base of thumb) and provided a removable splint to allow healing. This is the end of his wrestling season as it will take several weeks to heal. However the season is over on Saturday anyway, so he's not too disappointed, in fact he's keen to go and support his team mates, which I think is awesome.

10.30 I got home and grabbed my bike, riding to the house of a friend who was holding an "open house" morning tea for our mutual visiting friend. This visiting friend had had to leave suddenly last summer and I hadn't been able to say goodbye in person. It was wonderful to have some "closure" on that.

12.00 Morning tea morphed into lunch as various ladies (mostly associated with CAJ) came and went. We moved to a nearby Japanese restaurant. It was lovely to just sit and catch-up with people I don't see that often.

2.00 Back home again, catching up on some email and other matters before heading off to wrestling for the evening.

3.45 I will leave for wrestling in the team bus (with my husband driving). It will be a fun way to spend the evening, but I will be tired by the time I get home at around 9pm.

It's been good that I don't have a tonne of pressing work at present and could feel free to be a bit flexible with my use of time. I also was able to have a couple of very encouraging exchanges with our youngest son . . . a continuation of the quality time we had on Saturday. So satisfying!