Weariness

Anyone else feeling tired? I feel like I'm doing a reasonable job of looking after myself, but I still feel like I'm weary.

Yesterday, when I began this post, I was feeling particularly exhausted. Is it the strain of the pandemic catching up to me? Is it the strain of our personal family struggles from the last year? Or perhaps it's just hormones? Or maybe it's a combination of all of the above? Last month I was putting it down to the struggle to sleep at night when the temps and humidity were so high, but that has eased in the last week. Maybe I just need to catch up?

Just remembering our August camping trip, which already
seems so long ago!

Sigh. 

So yesterday, when I was feeling particularly fatigued, I did two things, no three.  I started this blog post! I took a novel and lay down for a while. And I took a wander through the Bible looking for the word "strength". This is one of my favourite ways to search the Bible for a perspective on something I'm struggling with. I didn't spend long on it, but it was illuminating.

First, strength is something that God is described as having and giving. And second, it is something that humans struggle to have, something that people in the Bible go to God to ask for.

1 Chron. 16:11, 27, 28 (context, David singing after bringing the ark of the covenant to Jerusalem):

Seek the Lord and his strength;

seek his presence continually! . . .

Splendor and majesty are before him;

strength and joy are in his place.

Ascribe to the Lord, O families of the peoples,

ascribe to the Lord glory and strength!

Then a verse came up that was very precious to me the first time one of my kids was admitted to a Japanese hospital. Yes, I clearly remember being at the end of my strength that time, and that God helped me through.

Ps 46:1:
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

David wrote quite a lot about strength: God's strength, his own need of strengthening, and that God was his source and refuge: 

Ps 59:16: But I will sing of your strength; I will sing aloud of your steadfast love in the morning. For you have been to me a fortress and a refuge in the day of my distress. 

Ps 105:4: Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!

God also is quoted many times as saying: don't be afraid, I'm with you.

Isaiah 41:10: 

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

And a common benediction, that we don't necessarily pay attention to at the end of worship services:

Romans: 16:25: 

Now to him who is able to strengthen you

And the first, famous passage that came to my mind before I searched for anything: 

Isaiah 40: 28-31

Have you not known? Have you not heard?

The Lord is the everlasting God,

    the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He does not faint or grow weary; 

 his understanding is unsearchable.

29 

He gives power to the faint,

    and to him who has no might he increases strength.

30 

Even youths shall faint and be weary,

    and young men shall fall exhausted;

31 

but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;

    they shall mount up with wings like eagles;

they shall run and not be weary;

    they shall walk and not faint.

And then a key verse for us personally as we serve in mission:

1 Peter 4:11: Whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. 

So my conclusion: I need to continue to do my best to take care of things like resting and having appropriate boundaries, but I also need to keep asking God for strength and relying on him to give that at the right times. No magic cure, but it was a good moment to stop and refocus. 

Oh, and we're also planning another lily pad: a camping trip next month!