Stop and refresh myself

This afternoon I'm doing something I've never done before: go to a spiritual retreat. I've been to "women's retreats" and various other overnight gatherings of Christians. But I think this one will be different. I hope so. I'm tired and yearning for refreshment, especially physical, but spiritual refreshment is vital too.

Almost all our Saturdays in the last couple of months have involved
watching our boys run and throw. Great times to connect with our
boys, but also tiring.

Late last year, as we prepared to come back to Japan, I knew that I'd be exhausted by this time. Our six months in Australia were stressful and the last six weeks of that were one of the most stressful periods we've experienced for some time. We landed back in Japan in the middle of the school year and had very little margin for recovery from our second international move in six months. I feel like we're functioning pretty well for what's gone on in the last 12 months, but with little in reserve. We're hanging in there, but not by much.

This Saturday just past was the final regular athletics meet for the season (there's one more middle of next week that I may or may not get to). I started the day feeling exhausted (drank two coffees before 8am, which is pretty unusual for me) and it turned into a 12-hour day (we left around 7.30am and got back not much before 7.30pm). Thankfully it was the last long Saturday sports event until September, so we can now have some slower weekends, which will definitely help, especially as we can't take holidays until July. I don't regret going to our boys sporting events, but they are tiring.

So when I heard about this retreat back in February, I thought it was well timed: a lily pad to help me make it through to our "big" family holiday in July.

But I'm also nervous. I intended to get editing work done this morning before I left, but have had trouble concentrating long enough to do anything much worthwhile. Why nervous? Well, I guess it's a new thing, a slightly scary thing. "Being still" has never been my forte. Although my boys are seeing a more sedate person than I was when I was younger, mentally I'm still quite "unstill".

Nevertheless, I'm game and keen to see how this works out. Below I've pasted the blurb that came with the invitation to join this retreat and what three previous participants have said about it. I have a lot of time for the couple who are leading this, so we'll see how it goes.

I'm going put my language study "on vacation" mode and pull back on my social media time. Now that social media is part of my job I've felt the relentlessness of it and I think a little bit of downtime will be good for me. I've got books to read and a new cross stitch project to work on, which are both proven things that help me "be still", physically at least.

We're very aware that this missionary life is not a sprint, it's a marathon, and we need to pace ourselves accordingly if we're going to last the distance. I'm seeing these next four days as part of "pacing myself".

Refresh:  A Retreat for Spiritual Refreshment and Soul Care

Is your heart yearning for a chance to experience some deeper soul connection with God and others? If so, we would like to personally invite you to “Refresh:  A Spiritual Refreshment and Soul Care Retreat,” a place where you can be still and listen to God, hear encouragement from the Word, fellowship with other missionaries, and maybe even gain a fresh perspective on life and ministry.

What previous participants are saying:

• “It was a great blessing to be able to attend the JEMA sponsored Refresh Retreat at Yamanaka Chalet.  Being in recovery from burnout, and having attended similar retreats, this event was another reminder of God’s great love for me, and his presence in my journey.  It was a joy to meet with Alan and Judy, as well as participants from a variety of mission organizations, and learn from their wisdom and experiences.  So many things to take home and process!”   Gary Carlson, Evangelical Covenant Church 

• “It had been a long time since I had really felt understood and listened to. In most of our relationships, we are giving out… and we are given out!  It was just comforting to be on the receiving end and to hear the voice of the Spirit saying, ‘I love you and I’m going to take care of you.’ I came home feeling more hopeful than I have for at least several months.”   Ruth McDonald, Japan Free Will Baptist Mission 

• “The biggest thing was that I realized (again) that I need to get away for a few days of retreat more often. Whether alone, or with a group, I realized how much I need to take time away from the daily/weekly routine to renew my perspective and unwind.”