Big elephants

I wish I could write about some stuff that's been going on recently. There are a couple of elephants in my room that I just can't write about on this public forum because they concern private family matters. But they're taking energy and headspace.

I had someone ask me the other day what was wrong, that I seemed more stressed this home assignment than in previous years . . . but I didn't feel I could share honestly with them either. 

These rice plants looks great. But do note that it has its
feet in the mud! Missionaries can be the same. Look good
on the outside, but don't forget that there is mud too.

So what can I share? How can I write in a way that's consistent with my philosophy of being honest and open, and yet protecting people I love (and myself)?

Perhaps a reminder that what you see isn't all that's going on.

Missionaries deal with stressors that are common to others, but often there is a twist. Check out this list (not all these are mine, but some are):

• Educational issues. TWIST: educational options aren't so broad on the mission field. Home assignments mess with education, especially when moving between different educational types, and different school years eg. Japanese to American, American to Australian.

• Job satisfaction. TWIST: ministry in a country like Japan, where few receive the Lord means it's hard to see what a difference it makes. It can be hard to come back to tell people about what's going on and not be able to report amazing results from the ministry there. 18 years ago we were saying that less than 1% of Japanese people are Christians. We're saying the same thing this year.

• The challenges of extended family. TWIST: we rarely see extended family and problems can be amplified by this absence. Also, they're used to doing things without us, so including us can cause problems. Not to mention non-Christian family members who don't understand why we do what we do.

• Lack of community. TWIST: our community (i.e. people we call our friends) is both widespread (our good friends live across the globe) and constantly changing. Then we change countries for home assignment and find that, for various reasons, community is even harder to find. Loneliness and relationship stress is a big issue.

• Psychological problems. TWIST: often psychological care is harder to access on the mission field. Psychological problems also can be exacerbated by the stressors of life on the mission field.

• High expectations. TWIST: in my experience the expectations on missionaries are different to those on other people. At times it feels like we're expected to be amazing people who don't struggle. We're expected to not make mistakes. We're expected to be able to move in and out of our home country with ease. We also have high expectations of ourselves, for example, expect that we can survive without good community, cope with high stress, persevere without encouragement.

Okay. I'm going to stop there.

To counter the above, I'd have to say that we have the amazing experience of being supported by many in prayer. You shouldn't underestimate how important that is. I think we are in a very privileged situation that many Christians never experience: having many people praying for us. More than 200 people get our prayer letter every month. I've got no idea how many of those pray for us, or how often or how in-depth they pray. But I know that there are people who aren't on our mailing list who pray for us!

James 5:16: "The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working."

Last Sunday we were asked, as we stood in front of a church congregation, for an example we've seen of God at work. I said, "That we've never asked for money and we're still in Japan after 18 years." If I'd been faster at thinking on the spot, I would have expanded that —it's not just the money that God's provided, it's being able to stick at it through all the challenges that have come, and continue to come our way. But all the praise goes to God!