Building resilience in middle age?

Building resilience in children is a popular topic these days, but this article by Tara Parker-Pope rightly asks, what about adults, can we build resilience too? The answer is yes, and perhaps we even have an edge over kids, just because we are often better at things like regulating our emotions and have a broader perspective on life because we've got more life experience.

The article has some good suggestions for how to speed our emotional recovery when life hits you with challenges.

And of course I would select a wrestling photo. Resilience is one
thing that a wrestler needs in spades! You won't go far in most
sports without it, actually.

• Practise optimism. Look at a bad situation in a more hopeful way, hang out with optimistic people. I generally don't find this too hard as I'm an optimistic person, but I can imagine some would struggle with this.
• Rewrite your story How we talk to ourselves and others about our struggles affects how we cope with them. For example, I could be saying "woe is me" about our son moving to Australia, however, I'm deliberately focusing on this being a great opportunity for growth in him (and us) and that this is what we've been preparing him for for the last 18 years.
• Don't personalise it. This is one I struggle with. I tend to blame myself when I've made a mistake or something I've done has caused the problem. I struggle with perfectionism and am sometimes too conscientious. This quote from the article is helpful: "remind yourself that even if you made a mistake, a number of factors most likely contributed to the problem and [then] shift your focus to the next steps you should take."
• Remember your comebacks. This is where a bit of life experience comes in handy. Remind yourself of when you've had tough times before and gotten through them.
• Support others. A strong network really helps. But apparently you can get an even bigger boost in resilience by helping others.
• Take stress breaks. I'm sometimes good at this, sometimes not. Depending on the situation. Parker-Pope suggests things like a walk break, lunch with a good friend, or even a five-minute meditation. Muscle growth occurs during the rest time following training (or stress), same for our emotional strength.
• Go out of your comfort zone. Yeah, well this isn't hard to do in our expat lives. The author suggests things like taking an adventure vacation (camping, anyone?"), take up a new sport or craft.

I would add a couple of suggestions:

• Remember when God has helped you in the past.
• Have a healthy, balanced lifestyle as much as possible: eat, rest, play.

Most of all, keep your eyes on Jesus. Honestly, Scripture and song steeped in Scripture have been my go-to when life gets especially tough. Some of the comments on the above mentioned article point out that when life gets really hard, these coping mechanisms just don't hold you up sufficiently. I would say in answer to that that's because there's a spiritual element that's missing. You can't do it on your own, though many try!