08 December, 2011

Not feeling so bad today

Some follow-up on yesterday's emotional post.


It is funny, the twists that life takes with kids. As I said yesterday, I set up separate accounts for our boys on our Mac. I didn't tell them why (David did tell our oldest later privately). But they were so excited. To have your own password, be able to organise your desktop etc. – to them it seemed almost like they'd been given their own private computer! I guess they do this at school (the passwords, etc.), so it seemed familiar. A few kinks to work out, especially for our older son, but it seems to be okay at this point.


On Facebook Jean pointed out how important it was not to just rely on filters, but to teach our kids about self-control, internet safety etc. And she is so right, especially as they get older and need to use the internet more and more. She pointed us to this website, which seems to be a very helpful place to spend some time browsing.


During our usual individual Bible time with the kids, David spent some time talking privately to our son about what I'd discovered. Our son was speechless with embarrassment for a time. It turns out he was curious, had some questions. And what do you do these days when you have a question? You Google. Unfortunately when you Google things about women's bodies you find yourself in some very bad places. We've been teaching him, so he knew that what he'd been looking at wasn't great. 


It was interesting to me that after they'd had a chat (and my husband revealed that he would be teaching our son and the rest of the boys in his class in Sex Ed early next year!), our son was very happy, buoyant even. Like a burden had been lifted from his shoulders. David answered some questions he had and will continue to keep that door open. He also pointed out that the internet isn't a good place to find out this kind of information, that people who make websites about these things aren't thinking about doing things that please God.


So now I'm left to sort out the kinks in the filter that prevents our boys from doing things that they  need to do for school. And to keep educating my self and being more proactive about educating our boys about these things.


Why I felt embarrassed to admit this yesterday, was because this has been coming, we knew it. I'm just sorry we didn't do something about it earlier. And I felt sick because it reminded me, yet again, of how heavy this burden of parenting really is, praise the Lord that we share it with him in our house! It has been good to get it out in the open, though, because we all face it. And all of us parents are dealing with new stuff, it just wasn't like this when we were kids. Let's face it, video stores and the internet didn't even exist when I was in Primary School (US=elementary)! 


But for now I need to focus myself on some editing, some Bible study preparation, and the Australian Christmas presentation I'm doing for the Grade 1s this afternoon.

6 comments:

Footprints Australia said...

Wendy, it is wonderful parenting knowing that God is with us on this tumultous journey. Our Miss 15 tried to pull a swifty about 6 months ago - she was on a sleepover, but then they snuck out to an 18th birthday party with alcohol etc. The amazing thing is, GOD TOLD ME. Seriously!!!!! We were eating dinner that night and I just KNEW. We did some checking up, and sure enough, the Holy Spirit had let me know. Needless to say we picked our girl up from the party and sleepovers are now banned ...

She has been good since then but the sad thing is we no longer trust her, and find ourselves worrying and fretting if she is ever late or goes out or whatever. We have discussed with here that this is one of the consequences of her behaviour and lying to us.

She didn't talk to us for a day or two after "that" party but seems to have settled down since then (until the next thing comes up anyway).

You might be interested in reading one of our latest adventures with her at http://footprintsaustralia.com/blog/2011/11/27/which-ones-worse-teens-or-their-parents/ ...

love Janet xxx

Wendy said...

You know Janet, I believe the Holy Spirit guided me in this one too. I don't normally check the History, really! There was just this small quiet voice inside which told me to check yesterday. It was almost the first time he'd done this and definitely the first "big" time. What a mess we'd be in with the Holy Spirit, hey!

April Mack said...

They do Sex Ed in 8th grade now? It was 7th grade when I was a student. I wonder why they changed it.

April Mack said...

Oh, I misread it. Early next year, as in 2012, but presumably this school year. So, it still is in 7th grade.

Never mind!

Betsy de Cruz said...

Thanks so much for sharing this. We've just gotten a filter ourselves and wish we'd done it earlier. Talking openly with our kids about any and everything is so important.

Josh McDowell just visited Turkey, and amazingly his talk was on internet pornography and how kids are being exposed at younger and younger ages. I took to heart his admonition to deal with these subjects early with our kids...

Blessings to you. I can understand.

Wendy said...

April that is one problem I have with a school year that goes across the change of calendar year. It can be so confusing. You can say, "this year" and the meaning isn't clear without more context. How in 2011 can I say "this year" when I mean this school year, but February 2012? Any hints?