A bit of couple fun

Every time we go to Australia for home assignment we have a debrief with a psychologist/counsellor. A few years ago they told us we were obviously good at working together, but probably needed to rediscover fun. Missionaries having fun?!? Yes, we need to!

And it was true that we'd fallen out of the habit of having fun as a couple. When the boys were younger we rarely went on dates. We first moved to Japan when we'd been married just three years, and we had a very busy toddler. In Japan we had no family and it was just too much stress to find a babysitter, so we learned to stay home and enjoy what we could do there, like watching a TV episode from a DVD or play Scrabble. We’ve turned into home-bods, even more than we previously were. As our guys got older David and I have slowly gotten out a little more, but still often found going out too tiring when we were already tired from work and parenting. Much of our fun was as a family: supporting our guys at their sporting events as well as camping and holidaying together.

The last 18 months, and especially the last nine (since our younger two moved out), things have been changing. David and I went to several cricket matches in Australia (our shared love). Obviously (if you've been reading my blog this year) we went away for two months! Living on a budget, though, we rarely ate out in Australia—though it’s easier to do so now that we don’t have to cater to enormous sporty teenage boy appetites.

This is the first time we've ever been to a live
match of any sport between our two countries.
Japan and Australia just don't have many team sports
in common. One day we might find a Rugby Sevens
match to go to!

Last night we did something that felt like "playing hooky". We went to an international sports event: Australia played Japan in wheelchair rugby, a sport we’ve come to appreciate via the Paralympics. We actually had tickets to go to a session of this sport for the Tokyo Paralympics in 2021…but Covid…'

It was a lot of fun. I just wish I could have cheered louder…there didn’t seem to be many true Aussie fans around (they handed out Australian flags to Japanese people at the door, in a valiant attempt to support the guests).

Time out for a quick team meeting with the players on the court.

It's called the Shibuya Cup and the teams are playing four matches. Last night was the first. They gave us a booklet that showed the teams, and explained the game and the rules.
If you'd like to take a look at some of the action, it's here on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JWRF/streams

Japanese publications are so cute!

 

We also were given these free cartons of coffee milk as we entered!

This little trip yesterday was fairly spontaneous, I only heard about this free event last Monday because I follow the Australian Paralympic Facebook page. I wonder what our next adventure will look like? David's got Christmas holidays coming up...and we have no family to hang out with this year, for only the second time in our lives. We'll see what turns up and what fun we can find.

 

An empty house, a retreat, and a long road trip

We're walking through a little bit of metaphorical whiplash here...and it's not just that we're now suddenly alone in our home after 24+ years of sharing it with our children, though that is not a small thing.

Next week we're leaving on a two-month-long adventure in a motorhome (I mentioned it in January here). So while our attention has been very much focused on our sons these last couple of months, we've now turned our minds to trip preparation in a big way. In addition to that I've got some writing and magazine-team admin work to do before we go which I've been trying to focus on yesterday and today, with patchy success!

I have an office space again, that isn't in the dining
room! We've moved our work stuff into this bedroom,
as well as some other things in boxes like Lego.

Our house is quiet. Periodically we're reminded we have children when they text us about one issue or another. They all came over on Sunday afternoon for several hours, as is our current weekly routine. That was fun, but it was also nice when they all went home! It's actually very satisfying seeing them move on from dependence on us. We've been preparing them for this for many years and it's great to see them living it and stepping up to the challenge.

Earlier in the week we nutted out more of a skeleton for the route of our journey around south-eastern Australia and now it's down to details about booking accommodation sites and investigating things to check out while we're on the road. I'm being a little guarded about sharing where exactly we are going, because this is not a ministry trip, nor is it a "catch up with as many people as you can" trip. We're hoping to unwind and relax on our own (most of the time). People have asked me to post a lot of photos so they can enjoy it. I'm also planning to blog about our trip as we go, but with a little bit of a time-delay so you will see where we've been, not where we are. I hope to allow you to vicariously enjoy some places in Australia that you've never heard of, or perhaps you have, but haven't seen them through the eyes of an Aussie who hasn't lived most of her adult life in Australia. 

As I thought about this trip I realised the trip is a little like a babymoon, but at the other end, an "empty nest moon"? It's certainly an interesting way to begin this new chapter of "coupledom". We're excited, but at the same time wondering how well we'll cope with two months in a motorhome! We've stocked up on a number of unplugged activities to relax with and are looking forward to seeing a good amount of "nature" on our travels.

I didn't plan on waking up to see the sun rise on
Saturday morning at our retreat, but took advantage
of it when I noticed the time. This awaited me out
the back door!

But, before I finish this, I can't neglect to mention the other big thing that happed last week. I went on a mini-retreat with two of my closest friends. We've never done this before, and it was fun. Our families (offspring included) enjoy getting together (we holidayed for a week together in 2022), but those times are not without many interruptions. It was super for just the three "girls" to get away together and hang out for many hours. We rented a cottage through AirBnB in the countryside to the west of here for the night. But the journey to get there was all part of the time away as we travelled together, talking all the way. It was a good Aussie experience, with an evening meal at an old pub (est. 1902) as well. 

Plenty of rain recently meant a beautiful vista
as we travelled some small country roads.

I'm so thankful for these two friends. We've been in touch via texting almost daily for five and a half years, though our separate friendships go back many more years than that. We've walked alongside one another through some really tough times and it's been a huge blessing. To be able to spend physical time together is amazing. So thankful to our heavenly Father for the blessings that he's showered on me recently!

More sunrise...

This was a bit before sunset the night before.

But, I'd better get back to writing that editorial that I've got to finish this week...and we'll see if I get back to writing here before we leave next week, or maybe not till we're on the road (the first part of our journey is work, but then around six weeks of holidays on the road—Yay!).

End of our Perth trip: it was good and hard

Birthday cheesecake.
A very rare occasion
when I didn’t make it myself! 

It’s only been ten days since I last wrote, but a lot has happened in that time. In terms of what we’ve done, we:

• Spoke in front of small and large groups (six times, once in Japanese).
• Had meals or “coffee” with people while answering questions about our life and ministry (eight times at least, I think).
• Spent about 40 hours at a church camp, interacting almost all the time we weren’t asleep.
• Travelled back to Brisbane (about four and a half hrs on a plane).
• Celebrated our middle son’s birthday with a family party on our 26th wedding anniversary.
• Spent a number of hours planning for future events.

Many evenings we’ve had things on: a dinner or party, an event to speak at, or we’ve been travelling. That’s been hard, because we’re used to relaxing after dinner. Talking intently to people until 9.30 at night doesn’t help with sleep!

We are, however, getting into the groove and I’m feeling more relaxed in front of a group than a month ago. But still, we long for a much more settled life. Alas home assignment is never settled. There is no routine, no “normal week”. We’re working towards the goal of going back to Japan in July next year, so there’s no incentive to get really settled here either.

And then there’s all the conversations that make me feel unsettled and uneasy. All the questions about our lives. Many of them are great questions, but explaining our lives over and over again isn’t easy. And it is exhausting trying to discern what someone wants to know, or what they already know about us. The hardest questions (aside from  the “So how’s Japan?” ones) are about things that I feel insecure or somewhat regretful about. They touch on what I, like these people, have imagined in the past a “perfect” missionary looks like: wonderful language skills (our kids included in that), amazing evangelism stories, and a clear, succinct answer on why Japan hasn’t been receptive to the gospel. 

Questions about how our kids are doing are constant and not easy. Some are from people who have read between the lines on our prayer letters and know that we’ve struggled. Others are from people who don’t know us at all. How do I summarise and satisfy people’s desire to know about us, without sharing too much that our boys don’t want shared?

It’s been exhausting, but, despite all my discomfort, ultimately very good. We especially like interacting with small groups. I think two of my favourite events in the last week were groups of 20 and 50. Both had atmospheres of informality and the kind of intimacy that invited honesty and excellent questions. After events like that, speaking for six minutes in front of a church felt quite flat and shallow.

We flew back on Monday, arriving home after 10pm. So grateful we didn’t have to take a red-eye like we’ve done every other time from Perth to Brisbane, but still tired. We’ve had a slower week, but still had appointments to get to, and next week to prepare for. 

Next week is another big one: from Sunday for four days we’re at a regional church high schoolers camp. These are usually great times to interact, especially with the leaders. But I’m going to be careful about managing my energy and taking downtime. At least we don’t have our own children to take care of at the same time, like we did last time we did a school-aged camp (?about nine years ago).

On the home front: our time in Perth was a big event. It was the first time we’d done an overnight ministry trip away without our guys, and we did it for 18 days! It was good for us all to experience that. Our two younger sons lived at home during that time and by all observations did well. They felt the pinch of not having a car at their disposal, but they got by. They’re gradually learning about life in Australia, which is good, as this is where they’ll be for a while to come. It was good for us as a couple to experience an extended time away from our kids too. We had fun doing some different things as we stand on the cusp of living life again as a couple after nearly 25 years of having kids in our home.

Our trip to Rottnest Is. was a highlight I mentioned
in my last blogpost.

We usually set up some kind of “table” display
wherever we go. We managed to squeeze some things
into our luggage for Perth. Packing for Perth is another
story: it was done at the end of an exceptionally
busy day and I didn’t do a great job personally. I 
wish I’d taken a larger bag and more clothes.

A sand bar at Point Walter on the Swan River.

Catching public transport, especially buses, in
an unfamiliar city was a new challenge.

This was the auditorium at the church camp. Very reminiscent of the place where we first started applying to be long-term missionaries in Queensland.