Seize the day

One of the things we do a lot when we're in Australia is "seize the day". Here are some recent examples:

I've been buying a lot of mangoes and green grapes. That might or might not seem strange to you. Green seedless grapes of the sort I grew up eating aren't common in Japan (although I've increasingly seen equivalents there in the last year). So while I'm here, I'm going to enjoy them. I almost never have mango in Japan, because they are expensive and always look dodgy (especially for the price). The other day I had a brief encounter with a grocery store employee who expressed surprise at all my mangoes, I didn't bother to explain to her that I was seizing the day!

Last Wednesday we went to a live international cricket match. Both David and I are fans, but I have never been to a live international match and he's never been to a short-form game. Last home assignment we tried to get to one, but the match was washed out and so all we saw was a bit of a boring interstate match. 

Last Wednesday was a great experience, only tempered by the shocking news about our financial support that we'd received hours earlier. We were surprised at how loud the crowd was (but we were sitting in the midst of very loud Indian supporters, possibly the most animated group in the stadium). It did rain for a bit, which meant some delay mid-match, but we ended up seeing 17 overs-a-side (instead of 20). Then there was a thrilling finish where Australia won and we had a great view from our three-rows-from the-front seats. Great entertainment. The boys were surprised at how much fun it was. Another seize-the-day moment.

This isn't quite in the same category, but close. I seize the day by reading as many books as I can from our local library. I love having such a wonderful library close by (we drive past our local branch at least four times a day on school days). The library pictured is not our local branch, but the central branch that I visited today because I was in the area and needed a cool, quiet place to wait for a couple of hours.

Tonight we're having roast chicken. I'd have to say it's also a seize-the-day event. In Australia we take every opportunity to enjoy the meat so easily available here, especially sausages (sooo much better than Japanese sausages) and meat pies. But other food too, although trying to keep a lid on the Australian lollies that we love to indulge in!

And of course fruit mince pies: ones that are freely available in the shops, not painstakingly made at home.

We do the same in Japan: we enjoy the things that you can enjoy there, and not in Australia. I can bet that our boys will be wanting some Japanese convenience store food soon after we arrive back!

Friendship goal

One thing I've been working on these last six weeks is solidifying commitment to be closer to some friends I already had here in Australia. 

Here's a special long-term friendship. This photo was
taken at the airport on the day we left for the mission
field in November 2000. We spent a weekend with
these friends when we first arrived back in Australia
in July. Friends who we can go deep with
quickly, despite great time between meetings.

It is a goal that came out of visiting the psychologist who consults for our mission. I went to talk to her about learning to better deal with the grief inherent in our cross-cultural lifestyle. She asked a lot of questions about my friendships and realised that though we have worked in the same organisation for 18 years and in the same location for the last 12, my friendships have had a lot of change over the years, even people who seemed that they would be there for the long-haul have had to leave for various reasons.

It's a common experience for people who live an expat lifestyle (check out this article):

Without realizing it, a lifetime of moving has caused me to neglect one of the most important areas in a woman’s life: that of developing close friends. Sometimes instead of shying away from getting to know new people, I actually do the opposite and try to make as many new acquaintances as possible. This is also not a healthy response, as I am avoiding getting close to anyone. (by Kristene, working with Wycliffe)

I'm not sure if things got as bad as that for me, but I have certainly found it a challenge to ask friends about going for a deeper commitment. However, I've been pleasantly surprised by the responses I got.

I've been trying to write this blog post for several weeks. In October I wrote:

Recently I have been talking to some good friends about the topic of "friends". I'm surprised at how little we actually talk about this with friends, but it is also a somewhat scary thing to talk about. Female friendships can be volatile. Any woman who remembers her childhood can tell you that. Any mum of girls can tell you that. Any primary school teacher will no doubt agree. As an adult we like to think that we're past all that volatility, but the risk of being hurt is there, the risk of putting too much emphasis on one friend and then having that fall through is there.

Nonetheless I've made some progress. And I'd have to say that it was timely, given recent events. I've had timely face-to-face times with two special friends in the last week that has helped me stay afloat (mind you both times I was unable to make it through the food that my friends bought for me). And with two other friends I've formed an online "support group" using Messenger. Though we've all been very busy, we've been encouraging one another through some tough stuff (not just my tough stuff). It's been exciting, even heady stuff.

Friends are costly, but also incredibly precious. Sometimes they also take a lot more conscious effort to develop than you might expect, especially in a lifestyle with lots of transition.

I go back to the psychologist next week and am looking forward to telling her about my progress.

Here's another post about friends I wrote a couple of years ago.

Emotional rollercoaster

The last ten days have been full of some ugly stuff for us. Three of the things that have entered our lives, via people we love, are stories that aren't mine to tell but are things experienced by many. Three things that have driven me to tears. Things that we wish didn't exist and make us long for heaven and perfect health and relationships.

The one that we can tell, I wrote about yesterday: the financial situation that means our plans for next year are currently on hold. That has been hard to take also, especially this close to our anticipated return to Japan. After many years of having sufficient support, I guess we probably took it for granted a little and so it was unexpected (not that we've ceased in all the last 20 years to pray for ongoing financial support). 

I've struggled with nausea and appetite during these days. We got the initial financial news last Wednesday just before we went off to one of the highlights of our home assignment: watching a live international cricket match (first time ever). Talk about emotional rollercoasters! I was lucky to get away without throwing up on someone.

In the midst of this rollercoaster, we've still been meeting with people and spent much of Sunday driving to a church on the Sunshine coast and speaking there.

Today we're in the still centre of the storm: we've sent out our prayer letter with the news, we've told our boys, and now we wait until a key finance person comes back from holidays next week and more discussion happens. Meanwhile, we wait and hope and pray. 

And—I need to say—recover. These blows have come at a time when we're feeling pretty weary. We've worked hard to visit many churches and groups in the last 4 1/2 months and are longing for our planned holidays in December. We also long for certainty about the future, but that will have to wait, though a decision will have to be made about our accommodation before Christmas.

Earlier this afternoon I posted a photo of the trunk of the gum tree (and I've used it here too) I can see from my desk in our front yard. I realised that I can't see the whole majesty of this tree from close up, not even my desk that is about five metres from the tree (with a small awning in the way). You have to stand way back off the property to see the whole tree well. Aren't difficulties we encounter like that? We can only see part of the whole. We certainly rarely can see much beauty in them. It takes time and distance to see any good out of them at all. So we wait. We don't know the end of the story of any of the ugly things that have happened in our lives recently and not knowing the end is really hard. But we have to trust.

"I will say of the Lord, 'He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.'" (Ps 91:2 NIV).

I'm also reminded of the great passage of Romans 8, especially the end: 

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (vs 38-39 NIV).

Urgent prayer request

I don't often put plain prayer requests up here, but today I feel compelled to. Christian friends, please pray! We've received some very difficult news only six weeks away from our intended departure date. 

We have just been notified that OMF Australia is very concerned about our level of financial support. One of their conditions for us to return to Japan is that we have sufficient pledges of financial support to cover expected costs each year. It seems as though we are at least AU$18,000 per annum short of what they would prefer that we had promised (or 15 people promising to give $100 a month). More would help.

One causative factor is that the exchange rates have changed dramatically from last year. Another factor is that our support from Australia has been slowly dropping. This is quite a normal thing for a family who has been on the field for 18 years. In those 18 years supporters have retired, gone to be with the Lord, or had changed circumstances. We’ve had churches tell us, regretfully, that they are no longer choosing to support us. We’ve also had no new pledges of financial support this year.

Obviously this is a big concern for us. We haven’t sensed that the Lord is calling us away from ministry in Japan, on the contrary, this last term it seems as though we’ve been able to serve in ways that God has especially gifted us. We also feel that we’ve got much more to give to the work in Japan. Our boys are also happy in Japan and very keen to finish their schooling there. It seems as though everything else has lined up for us to go back: OMF Japan and CAJ want us to return and we also have been given medical clearance.

Would you pray that God does a miracle? Pray that he’d provide sufficiently that we might be able to go back as planned in early January, if that is his will. Please also pray that we would have God’s peace at this time of uncertainty about our future. We’re itching to buy those tickets to get back to Japan and the jobs God’s given us there, it’s hard to think that we might be held back from doing that for financial reasons. We really value your prayers.

David's been preaching on the latter half of Matthew 16, especially:

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own (vv. 33 & 34 NIV).

We probably shouldn't be too surprised at a challenge to our faith in God's supply and timing of such!

[Extra financial information: we're currently 79% supported]

If you're interested in investigating supporting us, you can go to this link to notify OMF of your intentions and get information on the best way to support us.

Teenage parenting crumbs

I write to you from the depths of parenting teenage boys. I'm not here to complain, but rather offer some crumbs of encouragement to those of you who are, perhaps, approaching these years with trepidation.

Food's another point of mutual interest that works well
with boys. We've discovered that a trip to a cafe for
a hot chocolate treat is a fun family activity. Oh, and
now I've also got a boy who's interested, particularly,
in food presentation.

It is possible to maintain a relationship with them. At least in my experience, and while we've not got the worst of teenagers in our house, nor do we have the "dream team".

Two big keys for me are:
1. Pick your battles very carefully (not meaning that you don't set expectations).
2. Find what they're interested in, and invest in that to build a bridge.

Pick your battles
This means that we've chosen to ignore some things that others might frown upon. Or set our expectations at different levels to what you might expect.

An example is letting our boys play Pokemon Go. This has had several benefits for them personally that you might not expect, including increased interaction between our younger two, and greater willingness to go outside (a key part of the game and something that one of them was struggling with). 

Find out their interests and get involved
This has meant different things at different times. It's also been more or less difficult for me, depending on the interest of our kids. 

Wrestling is the obvious example with our eldest son. It took a lot of time, but ultimately was really good for our relationship with him as we could talk about what he was interested and spending time doing.

Our middle son's interests have been harder to discern, but movies is one of them. This has been hard for me, because most of the movies he enjoys, I don't naturally lean towards. Getting into Superheros and the Wizarding universe (aka Harry Potter) has been hard for me. It's also not been without conflict as I struggle to understand and they get annoyed when I asked ignorant and annoying questions in my quest (especially in the middle of the movie!). I've walked out of more than one movie (ones that we were viewing at home). But I'm starting to see positives as I gradually get up to speed. It's become a topic I can have something of a conversation about, and been positive for my relationship with my boys.


So there you go, my parenting crumbs for today. Honestly (not that I wasn't being honest before), there's some rough stuff going on for us at present (and not necessarily parenting-related), some of which I can probably tell you another day, others of which I need to keep close to my chest. Please pray for peace amidst some storms that have headed our way recently, and hang about—I'll share here as I can.

Photos from Perth

I'm getting back into the game gradually, almost feel "normal", whatever that means. I got a good amount of editing work done this morning, then some running around of children and an hour at the gym. So an overall productive day!

But here is a flashback to Perth. It's Australia, but there are different native floral species there than on the east coast. The area we stayed in was particularly pretty, with some enormous trees. I shared a good number of these on social media, but not all. You'll particularly want to see the "Dr Seuss" tree.

No idea what this is, it looks like a version of the
common red bottle brush.

One of the large trees in a local park we visited several times (the park had a significant Pokemon Go attraction for our boys).

Plenty of roses flowering at this time of year.

Another large tree in the suburb that I walked past a few times. I love it that they've
not just knocked these down.

Trying to appreciate art in the local park...

This truly was enormous. Actually there are two or three large trees here, but the one on the left is very large just on its own. Same park as the one mentioned above.

Another rose.

White bottle brush?

This is a bit random. I had lunch with two WA friends I met through blogging. Our families were slightly alarmed that we were meeting up with "internet friends" that we'd never met in person before. This was my view throughout a delightful, though somewhat rushed (it was squeezed inbetween two ministry appointments), lunch.

Our one concession to tourism. We took Friday afternoon to visit Fremantle,
Perth's port, and wandered through this museum. I live in hope that one
day I'll be able to read all the signs in leisure without being pursued
by children who just want to "get onto the next thing".

It may be a little difficult to recognise, but this is the hull of a large ship, wrecked
off the coast of WA (along with many other ships in the last 400 years). The
low-light inside the museum made it exceptionally difficult to get good photos.

Someone carefully made a replica of the ship above that was wrecked.
Actually, it was a retired marine archeologist (if I remember the sign correctly).

An anchor so large they had to cut a hole in the floor to accomodate it.

Back to trees. This one is close to the shore in Fremantle. These aren't native
to Australia, but there are many in this park, I presume, planted by immigrants long ago?

Fremantle shoreline.

One of the many old buildings in Fremantle. I could have taken many more photos, but we had time limitations (and boys who were moving onto the next thing and quick to criticise lagging mums with cameras).

This sunset I snapped with my iPhone as we arrived at a friend's hosue for dinner.

The humble gumnut, but I'm enough of an "expat" in Australia to appreciate that these aren't found often elsewhere.

Another random photo taken as we walked around our local environmnet.
A cactus flower. I'm glad I shot it as it faded quickly in the days that followed.

These seem to be endemic to WA (aother one futher on in this post, with Dr Seuss possibilities).

WA floral emblem: kangaroo paw.

More trees in same park (first one I mentioned). Acutally it's quite hard to capture
the majesty of this tree, I felt quite in awe as we walked under these.

Same trees from the other side.

These galahs are so common but terribly cute (I'm told they are pretty silly too).

I'm amazed that I managed to capture this with my phone as we drove past.
It pays tribute to Fremantle's long history as a port.

Yellow sand seems to abound on the west coast.

Yes, the Dr Seuss-plant!

Since getting back from Perth on Monday...

This is one of our supporting churches,
we always feel very welcomed here.

I thought this title only fitting as per my last post here last week! Since then we have done a full weekend of deputation and then flew back to Brisbane and our "home away from home" on Sunday night. 

The flight back was only four and a bit hours, but it happened in the middle of the night! From 10.30pm to 3am (Perth time) or 12.30 to 5am (Brisbane time). I slept on Sunday afternoon for three or four hours before we left (never happens—must have been exhausted!) Even so, I was pretty blurry by the time we got home on Monday morning, despite having stopped for caffeine near the airport. I mysteriously ended up with a large cappicino instead of the medium-sized one I thought I ordered, but it didn't stop me falling asleep for several hours soon after we arrived home thirty minutes later.

The weekend was exhausting, but full of good stuff: dinner with friends who love Japan (and us), breakfast with people who asked tonnes of fantastic questions, lunch with blogging friends I'd never met before, and the Saturday afternoon with OMF folk—hearing about and praying for so many different situations that Australian OMF workers are in right now. Followed the next morning by David and I splitting up and speaking at two large supporting churches.

Downstairs at our accommodation for the 11 days in Perth, the retired
couple who live here generously gave us their upstairs (including a living
area and bathroom).

Ever since we decided in 2000 to visit all the churches in our small Australian denomination, deputation has meant a trip to Perth, where our denomination began. Perth is one of our home assignment big-rocks. Organising home assignment takes a level of planning that I don't mind too much, but it is tiring. 

This trip especially requires a lot of organising: accomodation, car, and the sheer number of meetings in such a short period of time. We've been there five times now (or David has, I stayed home one year when our boys were little). It's a delightful place, and I'm increasingly blown away by these people who rarely see us, yet welcome us with open arms. Literally and figuratively. There are hugs and familiar faces, but also people who have never met us, but know clearly who we are because their churches have been praying for us. What a blessing!

However, I have to say that I'm glad it's over. It was intense and exhausting, just like I knew it would be. Next time we go all our boys will be out of high school and so we'll probably go on our own, taking our time there, instead of the rush-job we've done these last few times. Maybe we'll even drive all the way across the bottom of Australia to get there (4,500 km!). It truly was a grievance to me to be too tied down with home schooling and fatigue and stressed-out boys to be able to see much at all this time. Next time we will be better tourists and probably take some holiday time too.

Back in Ipswich now, and we're struggling to get back into the groove here. Monday was a write-off and even yesterday I was lacking in get-up-and-go, though I did vacuum the house. Today I've forced myself back into the office and have begun catching up on some things that needed dealing with up after being away 16 days (thankfully I've been able to stay somewhat up-to-date with basic email while I was away).

I think that's enough today . . . I've had plenty of thinking time and not much writing time, but I think that those thoughts will make some nice posts in the coming days.