An unusual day in the life of the mother of boys

Living with a bunch of guys doesn't predispose life to include much recreational shopping. I mentioned back here that I'm not really a "shopper" anyway, but the last 12 years of my life hasn't helped that any. So, the idea of taking one of my boys for a day's shopping just seems bizarre! I hear of people doing this with their daughters or girlfriends, but this hasn't been a part of my life. Nor do I really want it to be. Living with a fairly limited budget just doesn't lend itself to carefree spending. And once you cannot spend much money, the lure to just look at stuff reduces considerably.

Well, anyway, today I had a reason to go shopping with my 12 y.o. son. We just did it in a bigger way than we'd normally do it. His (school) backpack was looking very ragged and obviously needed replacing sooner rather than later. I could have just gone and got him one, but soon realised that a person's bag is pretty personal and it is better to choose it yourself. So today we went to do that.

Earlier in the month we were hunting for some camping gear before our second trip away. I accidentally found out that there are a lot of outdoorsy stores at one location in the city, close to the place where the boys helped me pack magazines (read about that day here). So, after we packed the magazines we took off as a family to find these shops. It was a cool find. A whole lot of shops with stacks of camping products. 

So today, instead of going somewhere closer (where there would be less choice), we hopped on the trains and headed to "down town" Tokyo. I would never do this with all three boys, that is asking for a nervous breakdown! But thankfully at this time (when teachers are at school, but not students) the school provides free childcare for the primary and lower aged children of staff. We don't normally use it because obviously I'm usually able to look after them all. But this time we decided to anyway. It is the end of 11 weeks of holidays and we're all a little bit sick of one another and some time apart just helps. Our middle school 12 y.o. doesn't qualify, however, so it was the perfect day to go shopping with him.

Mostly Japanese shops open at 10am, so that was when we planned to get there. But we soon found out that most of the camping shops in this precinct open at 11am. Many of them are owned by the same man . . . a late riser? So, I suggested dropping in to Starbucks across the road to pass the time, but my son wasn't impressed. McDonalds was far more his style. So there we went, and 'hung out'. Not a huge amount of conversation, but both of us had books with us, so we read while we waited. Conversation was more likely to happen while we were walking along or while looking at goods, not while staring at one another across the table. How different to "hanging out" with girls!

Eventually we got to the shops and found a good, nicely priced backpack. I pushed things a little by suggesting that we browse a little to see if we could find a birthday present for his dad. He put up with that for a while, particularly as there were heaps of fun camping things to look at. Like portable toilets, miniature emergency sleeping bags, and Lego lamps. But after 1 1/2 hours it was pretty much all over red rover. Food called and browsing goods lost its charm for my son.

On the way to lunch we saw this entrance to a university building. We were both impressed with the size of the doors. It makes me look like Alice in Alice in Wonderland. I am short, but not that short!

For lunch there was some debate about whether it would be McDonalds (again) or Subway (which is a rare treat here in Japan). Firstly my son couldn't believe that I'd agree to going to Maccas twice in one day! But when he realised I'd say yes to that he wouldn't agree to Subway. But as they were next to one another at this spot, my plan was for me to have take-away Subway and eat it at McDonalds with my burger loving son. 

However the line at Subway was massive compared to McDs, so I gave in and ate a burger too. It was a peaceful meal. So unlike meals we usually eat as a family. My boys just don't seem to be able to manage decent table manners or conversation . . . maybe one day.

Just before we got to the train station we crossed a canal that has a train platform right at its edge. Pretty picturesque in the middle of a city. Not much rubbish floating on it either.

And so ended our little shopping trip together. 

I met someone later who has older, married sons who said, "Relationships with sons are precious, and you miss that later when they grow up." I cannot say that I really know what she is talking about. I guess it is one of those retrospective things. Relationships with sons are definitely different from those with daughters – which I can only say from observation of others, of course! It is a hard thing to put your finger on, especially when you feel like your relationship with them is mostly being a policeman! I have to admit we struggle to have big amounts of one-on-one time with each of our boys. We do spend time with them each night when putting them to bed, but doing an excursion like this is harder and somewhat random. I know they appreciate it. I think I'll appreciate it more when I look back, though. I do know that when you get them one-on-one they are much easier to relate to than in a mob!