On struggling to be an observer

Recently I've done more spectating than I am used to. This month I've been to a Track and Field meet, a piano recital and a primary school (US=elementary) field day (somewhat like a low key athletics carnival).

The word picture that contrasts players and spectators sticks in my mind. My usual operating mode is a player. In a group I tend to be a participator; not a leader, a participator. My first reaction is to do stuff, not sit back and watch others do it (puts me in great risk when there are appeals for volunteers). When I step back and just observe, I'm stepping out of my comfort zone. 

Spectators hanging out in the shade at yesterday's Field Day.

Somehow being a parent (and getting older) means I do more spectating than I used to. I also do more leading and directing than I'm often happy with.

In some ways I envy these kids. They get to participate, to do stuff. I have good (and nervous) memories of those days when I got to do stuff like this. Now I get to stand by and applaud (I can't even scream anymore). But I am not good at standing by and watching. Especially if it involves long periods of hanging around doing nothing. Especially if it involves long periods of exposure to nasty outside elements (cold, wind, heat etc.). Does this make me a bad parent? How do I improve my attitude to these things? Because I know we're only just at the beginning of many long years of spectating.

I guess watching track and field and piano recitals are also reminders that I used to be able to do that stuff, but cannot anymore. Good memories, but regret that those days have passed.

So somehow this non-spectator is going to have to tame that wild participatory side of her to cheer on her kids. 

One hint - I've found a good book to be helpful in passing the time at Track Meets (even if it makes me seem anti-social and cast me back to those years when I was seen as a weirdo in Primary school for hanging out in the library at lunch time).