What are you looking forward to going back to?

Yesterday someone asked me this after we'd spoke at a church. It took me a moment to find an answer. First thing that came to mind: "Friends."

After that. . . "getting the boys settled back at the school and some more 'normal' life."

Now, after a bit more time to think, I'd add:

Our shower in Japan. Freezing in winter, boiling in
 summer but nice and large!

• The shower. Though it's very hot in summer and freezing cold in winter, it is large, unlike our caustrophobic-inducing shower here.
• My bike with its large baskets. My bike is very functional and the baskets are wonderful for carrying all sorts of things. Though I will miss the wonderful shopping choices I have here, and that I can read all the labels! Also, the bikes we have there, though they're on the cheap side, don't break down anywhere near as much as our bikes here do.
• Various appliances in our house, including an ice cream maker, rice cooker, and huge ancient American-style oven.

  

  My enormous gas oven (that you have to lay on the floor to turn on).
  

  
  

  

  The gas oven in my kitchen in Japan.
  You can see the oven is a little
  too large for the kitchen, but it works
  pretty well.

• My new camping kitchen. We bought this second hand off a fellow missionary just before we left last year and I'm keen to try it out. 
• Another camping adventure. We're planning to go camping when we get back (we arrive back more than a month before school starts), hopefully a tour down to the Kyoto/Nara/Osaka area.
• Not travelling so much. Not that we've had it all that bad, compared to some missionaries we hear about, it will be wonderful to have our weekends back, and (dare I say it) not quite so many social engagements.
• Japanese convenience stores. They really are very convenient, especially for a cheap, yet relatively healthy lunch.
• School where I know a lot more about what's going on (in part because my husband works there, but also because we've been there for eight years now).
• Rice. Yes, I'm a Japanese rice snob. Other Japanese food will be good too, though I'm not craving it terribly, there's too much good stuff here.

That's a long enough list. Probably as this year wears on (and wears thin) there will be more that I'll be looking forward to. The boys would have a different list. I'll have to ask them and tell you what they've got, but I suspect a biggie for our eldest will be "no uniform"!

Culture shock: building relationships

I wrote a number of these culture shock posts early in our time back in Australia. Here's another. 

Our time in Australia is quite focused in many ways, but especially relationally. We're spending time catching up with people from different eras in our lives. People who've stayed in touch despite the odds and continue (in many cases) to pray for us.

Here are some friends I've not spent too much time with, but
we did bond at wrestling meet bleachers last year.
I'd love to get to know them better, but time is a challenge.

But our focus is also on building new relationships. That's been especially the case for us coming back to a different home church. You can see that in this post about time we've spent with people at church and this one about the Australia Day weekend.



But I have to say that there is a challenge with building relationships. We are acutely conscious of time. Our time here is limited, so the temptation is to try to rush things.

To make things worse, we've learnt to rush relationships with other expats in Japan. Transition is a constant part of our lives in Japan and we're often saying goodbyes, but then new hellos. So making new friends is a common part of our existence. However we don't know how long we will have together, so the tendency is to rush deep quickly. I have very good friends in Japan with whom I've spent relatively little time.

Here is a friend who I'd love to spend more time with.
Though she's an Aussie, we're rarely in the same country
at the same time. She works in Taiwan. This photo was
taken in Hong Kong where we attended
writer's retreat together.

I came across an excellent blog post that talks about the difference between TCKs (third culture kids) and monocultural (people who've never left their passport country) and relationship building. I feel a little annoyed sometimes at these TCK articles because they generally ignore those of us who are neither monocultural or TCK, but in fact share many of the same characteristics as TCKs because we've lived outside our home culture for a long time.

Nonetheless, the below extract explains about the time challenge we face in building relationships.

Why do TCKs  [Wendy: I would also insert cross-cultural workers here] do things so differently? There are several reasons, really. The greatest of them is the awareness that time is limited. We’ve lived so long in a world saturated with both expected and unexpected goodbyes that we enter each relationship anticipating that it could end at the drop of a hat—when circumstances, mission mandates, finances or the inherent transience of the international community rip us away from those we’ve loved.

We function as if there is no time—because so often, there isn’t! When we meet someone new, it’s as if an invisible timer has started a countdown. Quickly! Figure out who this person really is.

And how is this different to those who haven't been outside their country's borders for any length of time? 

Mono-culturals function completely differently. They observe a steady descent through well-defined relationship levels—not because they’re shallow, but because it’s the progression that makes their culture comfortable. -

She gives a particularly helpful graph, showing how we all end up in the same place, just take a different route. And she explains that there are good and bad things about both routes.

People at church are starting to ask, "When are you going back to Japan?" and say things like, "Ouch, we'll miss you when you go." Yep, but it is a good "ouch" because that means that despite the short time, we've managed to get to know people to a sufficient level for our relationships to be meaningful.

I hope I haven't shocked too many people by trying to go deep fast. It is something that's shocked me in the past, that people here spend so much time in superficial conversation (see my posts from last home assignment here and here).

Have you had a shock in trying to build relationships in different communities? I know that once your children are out of the early years at school it is difficult to meet and build relationships with other parents from school. That's just one example. I also remember a friend lamenting that it is harder to build relationships in your 30s and beyond, than it was when we were younger. What do you think?

The importance of support workers in mission

During the Falkland War (1982) the Argentinean military leaders placed many Argentinean soldiers on the Falkland Islands to occupy them. These soldiers were not very well trained and poorly equipped. They also did not receive the logistical backup an operation of that nature required.

The Islands legally belonged to Great Britain, who sent troops to the Islands to re-occupy them. The British soldiers were well trained and although the Islands were thousands of kilometres from Great Britain, the British Navy supplied remarkably good logistical support. The British soldiers’ moral was also much better than the Argentineans’. Although totally outnumbered by the Argentineans, the British were able to overrun the Argentinean defences within weeks, with great loss of life on the side of the Argentineans.

After the war the Argentinean president and two members of his military government were brought to trial and found guilty of negligence during the war. They were sentenced to 12 years imprisonment each.1

True story!

But how is it relevant to this blog? 

Somehow an imaginary line has been drawn in people's minds between "real, front-line missionaries" and "support missionaries". Our mission actually has no such categories, thankfully.

One of the things I've done as a support missionary is to
 help other missionaries be better writers so
they can communicate their unique stories.

A blog post appeared recently in my Facebook feed called, "In Praise of Mission Support Workers". It is written by an OMF church planter in Thailand. He wrote that he hates the question: “How much [finance] goes to admin?” I have to admit that I've never been asked that question and I'm glad. 

First I don't have a figure to give. 
Second, it implies that money not used directly in evangelism and church planting is wasted money. 
Third, I am a support missionary. 95% of what I do is supporting other missionaries, so what is a question like that saying about me and my ministries?

Modern military forces would never send their armies out without support. They need a lot of infrastructure to be effective. People who aren't on the "front line". The same principle apply to mission.

The above author successfully points out that he can't do his ministry and do all the things that are needed to support his ministry (including admin related to donations, visas), nor is he capable to do things that are necessary to keep missionaries on the field (like medical advice, teaching their kids, supervising language students).



1. Zakheim, D.S. (1985) The South Atlantic Conflict: Strategic, Military, and Techonological Lessons. In Coll, A.R. &; Arend, A.C. (eds.) The Falklands War: Lessons for Strategy, Diplomacy, and International Law. Allen & Unwin, Inc, USA.) pp 177 & 179.

Doing shopping and stuff

This morning David and I had a "shopping date". We headed off to a shopping centre and attached a list of stuff that needed attending to. It was great to do this without the hinderance of children. We ended up shopping in parallel to each other, keeping in touch with which shops we were each at, but each doing our own thing. Stopping in the middle to have morning tea coffee/milkshake (our second for the week). I also came away with a skirt from Katies that was originally $59.95 for only $17, that was great too. A lovely productive morning!

This week has really been about settling back into preparing for the remaining five months. Our minds are turning back to Japan. It's brought into focus things that need preparing for/doing/buying before we go back to Japan. It's also meant a number of emails setting up appointments/making enquiries etc.

I spent a good number of hours putting together our prayer letter over the last two days too, which also produced a flurry of emails from folk who want to meet up with us in the coming months.

Some examples of things we've worked on this week:-

• made an optometrist appointment for one child
• enquired about some immunisation that our 15 y.o. missed and the medical centre didn't ring us about (though they said they would)
• enquired about making a psychologists appointment for debriefing
• sought the contact details of theOMF medical advisor for this area to talk about a referral the school in Japan requires
• found out David's timetable for this semester and trying to get our minds around how that will work with our one-car family
• arranged to get together with various people here in Brisbane over the next couple of months as well as in Canberra when we're there at the start of next month
• trying to get more details about our obligations in Canberra
• trying to line up a car for us to use in Canberra
• investigating courses in design and writing, thinking ahead to taking up my magazine editing role again
• David's been continuing preparation for the courses he's teaching later this month
• trying to line up a couple more church meetings
• shopping for remaining school supplies, new clothes/shoes for David and me, new sheets for some beds in Japan

Quite an array! It's good to be productive, I hate being bored.

Japanese citizens beheaded

I get lots of Japanese news, in my blog feed and on Facebook, so I'm wondering how many of you have heard about the two Japanese hostages that have been executed by

Islamic State militants in the last couple of weeks. It's huge news in Japan.

Here was the early demand. It seems to have in part been provoked by a visit to the Middle East and announcement by the Prime Minister:

Abe said his announcement of $200 million in nonmilitary aid for the fight against the Islamic State group, made during a visit to the Middle East just days before the militants demanded a $200 million ransom for the two hostages, was meant to convey Japan’s strong commitment to battling terrorism and fostering peace and stability in the region.

The two who died were an aid worker and a journalist. Apparently the journalist was trying to rescue the aid worker. Additionally the journalist was a apparently a Christian.

Here is a short report from Christian Headlines.com and a longer one from Christianity Today.

I've just sent out a prayer letter today and asked people to pray for wisdom for the leaders of Japan. There is grief, anti war protests, and blame-laying. Abe wants to enable the military (aka Self Defense Force, because they have limited powers post WW2) to be able to rescue citizens.

Start of the third section of our year

So today we begin the second half of our home assignment. The whole twelve months can be roughly broken up into three sections

1. July-early December: Deputation/school
2. Mid December-January: Holidays for all
3. Feb-June: Deputation/school

   

   A tent is actually an apt way to describe our lives. We
   live in different places and enjoy almost all of them.
   We're getting very good at enjoying the place where
   we currently have our tent-pegs anchored, but are
   well aware that it isn't permanent.

I dropped the three boys at school today for their first day of the new school year. Two were excited, one not so. They'll be home in half an hour, it will be interesting to hear how it's gone. For the first time we have two high schoolers. Also for the first time all the boys have their "own devices". Two have school-provided/rented iPads and the third has a renovated computer (my work computer until six months ago). New territory! For the first time our eldest is doing four science-maths subjects. I hope that he enjoys delving into these subjects in greater depths.

After the school run I came home and we gathered ourselves. It was beautifully quiet. We could even hear and appreciate the birds outside! I planned the menu for the next fortnight, wrote a grocery list and we took off for a coffee-shop date, then split for a grocery/library and petrol run. David even mowed the lawn when we got home. It felt wonderfully productive, especially without any emotional wrangling (once we got the reluctant one to school).

One of the problems I've had over the number two period has been getting head-space to write, even write here. My work-space happens to be in the lounge room (aka living room, den, family room). The same room as the TV and where all the boys generally hung around most of the summer. It is hard to even think within that context.

So now I have a lot more free time, even more so after the 23rd of Feb. From that date David will be working three days a week as a lecturer of Education students at the Christian Heritage College here in Brisbane.

So now, with a bit of free time on my hands, but largely home-bound free time, I'm pondering what to do over the coming months. Weekends are busy, but weekdays not so much (aside from planning time for deputation opportunities, which mostly happen on weekends). I'm thinking about a couple of online courses, researching possibilities. I'm excited!

What I can't believe is that it is less than five months till we leave this "home" and return to our Japan "home"! I definitely have mixed feelings about that.

Camping trip #1 for 2015

We came back from camping yesterday. We were on the hinterland of the Sunshine Coast, in country that we've never explored before. it was gorgeous.

We camped for three nights. A first for us: camping this long without visiting a shop. We had no electricity or running water or fridge at our campsite. We weren't free-camping, though, a short hike up a steep bank gave us access to toilets, showers, and water. And even a microwave and free gas BBQs, if we'd wished to use them.

The best aspect of the camp was the creek nearby. We could paddle whenever we felt too hot. And went swimming several times.

The creek was among the trees just beyond the tent.

Another great thing about the camp was the timing, because most schools went back last week we basically had to place to ourselves the first two nights. That gave the boys plenty of room to play cricket whenever they had a free moment.

Open fires were allowed and we took advantage of that. It's not truly a camp unless you can have a fire!

It was exciting to see the boys get into the camp, even our most reluctant camper to admit that he was happy to be there. He was a willing helper as we packed up and unpacked at the other end at home, that's satisfying.

The creek beyond the trees. This was between ankle and
mid-calf deep.

This was our fireplace. A old repurposed wheel
barrel provided nice containment for the fire.
If you cut the trees down you'd see the creek.

Standing in the creek looking back towards our tent.

This inquisitive visitor came by during dinner one night.

The light was poor, but this was my perfect camping
dessert on our second night. A banana cooked in foil
in the fire with chocolate buds and marshmallows.
Delicious! We all made our own, according to our own tastes.

A little bit further down the creek it widened out and deepened.
We could have played here for hours. In the centre of the
photo is a rope swing that the boys used to leap into the water.
There was another one further along that was easier to get onto
that even I tried (and resulted in me swallowing lots of creek water
and I now sport a bruise on my hip when I slipped and landed too
close to shore).

During one quiet moment on the bank of the creek I spotted
this dragonfly sitting on a rock.

I had coffee with a friend a week or so ago. A good friend, but one whom I haven't become friends with because we share similar interests. Our parents were friends before we were born. Our relationship has been a cousin-like relationship. It's only in the last 10 years that we've developed a very strong friendship. Anyway, a week ago she expressed her distaste for camping. She said she particularly hated the insects, walking to the toilet at night, and sleeping on the ground.

I have to say I don't like walking to the toilet at night. Nor do I like camp showers (I always shower with rubber thongs (aka US/Brit flip-flops) on because I'm can't stand the feeling of communal wet tiles under my feet. Sleeping in a tent and on (good) air beds I can cope with. 

I can cope with the insects, as long as they are in their environment, and not inside the tent. The dirt doesn't bother me, as long as people take their shoes off at the tent door. 

I love the challenge of providing food in the simplicity of a camping environment.

I like the feeling of surviving without the usual trappings. 

I like not having people trapped by electronic screens (me included). 

I like seeing boys doing things that they normally can't. 

I like the meal clean-up routine we've got going (one boy with one parent, the conversations you can have at such a time are precious).

I love the serenity and how just two or three days of camping, though physically demanding, can feel longer and return you to daily life feeling refreshed and somehow cleansed.

So, we're headed back into "real" daily life now. School starts tomorrow. Our first formal deputation meeting in several weeks is next Sunday, in fact we've got four of them in eight days. And probably I'll be getting back to regular blogging too.