Where have you been?

Phew. I've been so busy! I predicted in my first blog post of the year that it would be a crazy year, but I don't think I expected so much crazy so fast. Looking back at the last two and a half months, there's been little let-up. It's been three weeks since I felt I could take time to write here. During those weeks I've been to a retreat, a full-day workshop, an annual general meeting, a full day of OMF meetings on the other side of the city, a meeting strategising how to hand all my work over for home assignment, and two long Saturdays at athletics (AmEng = track and field) meets. 

Ironically, the workshop and nearly 3-day retreat were each ways to help me be more resilient, but both increased pressure on me as I took time away from my regular work to attend them. And all the while, waiting at my desk were two magazine issues both requiring my attention, as well as the usual social media work for OMF, and a variety of people who had to be patient and wait for me to be available to them, or to simply get something done for them. On top of all that, it's like a bunch of people have woken up to the fact that we're going on home assignment in just over 100 days and the amount of work I've been doing related to that has been steadily increasing.

This cross is part of the back wall
of the room we had meetings in at
the retreat. A good reminder to keep
my eyes fixed on Jesus.

Today I've struggled to focus on the work in front of me—I think I simply need a quiet weekend to rest. Thankfully that's pretty much looking like what tomorrow and Sunday are. Our athlete has flown to Thailand today with his class, so we won't spend all day tomorrow watching him throw stuff (he does shot put and discus). We do, however, have to spend some time nailing down dates so that we can buy plane tickets for that aforementioned home assignment. Though I really don't want to think about flying again . . . I'm still feeling scarred by our experiences last year!

The reality is: I'm smack-bang in the midst of transition. Another irony is that one of the things put on the back burner in recent weeks has been a writing project of a series of short articles about the experience of going on home assignment! Though I simply haven't had time to write about it, I'm increasingly "doing" it: talking about how to hand my job onto others, talking about HA plans, slotting dates in the calendar, talking to people about handing over our house and car on this end and getting a house and car on that end, etc. 

It's a lot and looks a bit like a big muddle because I'm basically taking on more work before I can give any away. I commented to a couple of friends earlier this week that it felt like people kept lobbing balls at me that I had to juggle on top of the usual fairly large number of balls-to-juggle that are part of my everyday job.

For the first time in decades, I joined a choir
(just for a day). We rehearsed and sang a
gospel song at the retreat.

Thankfully I have learned not to carry this all with me 24-7. At least I try. I'm still sleeping well and mostly am able to relax after work in the evenings without too much difficulty (although that is also the only time that I can talk with my husband about various decisions and plans). At the retreat I was able to leave most of these
responsibilities at my desk. I really enjoyed the worship, time to connect deeply with friends, and reflect on God's Word. It was the first time in three years that I've been able to fellowship within a group and sing without a mask on (in Japan). Many times in these last three years I've stuffed emotion deep and gotten on with the job at hand. But a retreat like this has a way of taking the lid off and there was plenty of emotion (from me at least).

Here's a great quote one of the speakers gave us:

On a daily basis we're faced with two simple choices. We can either listen to ourselves and our constantly changing feelings about our circumstances, or we can talk to ourselves about the unchanging truth of who God is and what He's accomplished for us at the cross through His Son Jesus. (C.J. Mahaney in The Christ Centered Life: Keeping the Gospel the Main Thing")

This song made a deep impression on me at the retreat and I've been listening to it often (which is one way of "talking to myself", another way is writing this blog post):

The chorus is special:

"From everlasting, you are God

And all our days are held within your hands

Your perfect love and favor have no end

We rest within the wisdom of your plan

Everlasting God

We rest within your plan."

My prayer is that as we continue through this messy and stressful time of transition, that I would be able to remember to rest in the wisdom of God's plan. And to truly trust him with all things!