I had a writing friend ask me in an email if I'd been doing lots of writing. And I really haven't, although I have been writing, although much of it has been editing other people's writing. In recent days I've:
- written a prayer letter
- rewritten some elements of the Japan Prayer booklet (which is deep editing, basically)
- researched and written some Facebook and Instagram posts for OMF Japan
- written an email calling for articles for our Autumn issue of Japan Harvest.
- edited various short articles, from blog posts to magazine articles
So it really does feel like I've been writing, but nothing much longer than a few hundred words.
At times it's been hard to stay focused and motivated. I know I'm not the only one, that many people are struggling with staying motivated. I'm one that thrives on the next big thing. I like having things to look forward to on the calendar and whatever is there has steadily been scrubbed out. My emotions have been unusually turbulant, and that's been unsettling.
This week the school leadership decided that school wouldn't return to on-campus learning this school year. That means it's 17 more weeks until school begins again, Lord willing. I think the day they announced that I'd been feeling particularly frustrated with my "housemates." I was in trouble for walking too loudly, for saying the wrong things at the wrong times, for breathing while I eat. I tried to start conversations around the table and got shot down by teens. I couldn't find things to talk about that other people were interested in. And then school not starting again was like a nail in the coffin of my confinement.
It's time to name losses and also lift my eyes heavenward. It's time to find some creative solutions.
So, here are some losses, in no particular order:
- face-to-face time with friends
- freedom to go out without concern about my health
- a haircut
- watching my boys run and throw at track and field meets
- the house to myself during the day, and the freedom that comes with that
- boys who are well-exercised, socialised, and are motivated by the usual rhythms of a class schedule
- a trip to Singapore for professional development and training with our mission
- a visit by our eldest this summer
- the opportunity to go to the Olympics and Paralympics this year
- mail that hasn't arrived from my family
Here are just some things that have comforted me:
- friends checking in that I'm doing okay
- randomly running into people (at appropriate distances)
- a small opportunity to serve other staff families
- opportunities to use my social media skills to encourage
- remembering that God is a solid rock that I can rely on
- the hymn "Great is Thy Faithfulness"
- opportunities to exercise in safe places
- books to read (loving my Kindle and the opportunity to borrow ebooks from the library, something I couldn't even do last year)
- remembering that many of those great writers of history were isolated or imprisoned at the time of writing (think Paul, John writing Revelation,
OMF sent us a self-care assessment this week. It's taken me a while to look at it and I wondered if the topic headings might be good for you to see also:
Physical: food and drink, exercise, time out. I think I rate okay on most of these. Lacking on the "time out" front. I'm getting a lot less time on my own these days and that it tiring.
Spiritual: personal devotional life and Christian fellowship. The first is about the same as usual. Second lacking a bit.
Emotional: this has been a bit of a struggle. It identified three different areas: healthy thought/feeling life, stress management, and leisure & fun. Probably it's healthy thought/feelings that I slip most on, not quite sure what to do with that. Mostly I've been trying to name what's going on inside and then reminding myself that that's okay, then try to apply scripture to that. Reminding myself that God is unchanging and nothing can separate me from him. Also trying to not pressure myself to be busy all the time. To understand that now, more than ever, I need to be content to be a little less busy and less focused on what I achieve.
Relationships/social: well I've already admitted this has been a bit of challenge. I've had some joy on that front this week and am planning more interaction with others this weekend online. A friend suggested that reading some girly books might not be a bad idea. Escaping into some female dialogue and stories might just be helpful. I love this creative idea and I'm giving it a go!
Ministry: appropriate use of time, and relationship with colleagues. This hasn't changed much for me. Much of my ministry was already done online and from home, so in that sense I'm very fortunate as I've had years to set up boundaries that allow me to stay healthy and balanced. This season has even allowed us more opportunities to connect with supporters in Australia. We've had one Zoom meeting with a prayer group and made two videos for supporting churches this month.
Areas of temptation/struggle: Hmm. Have I avoided difficult tasks? Probably. But perhaps not more than usual.
Overall I'm probably not doing too badly. How are you? Is there anything you can change? Is there anything I can help you with? And if there's something you'd like me to write about, please let me know and I'll see what I can do!
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