Short-term friendships

I've been stung. Maybe you have too? 

This is Catherine, one of the friends God has blessed me with
for this season.

Many of the relationships that I've invested in in the past in Japan are either now non-existent, or only exist on social media. I live in an ever revolving door of friendships. That's a common experience for missionaries and exacerbated in our personal situation by our close connection with an international school. (International schools have a higher turn-over even than mission organisations do, although the school we're associated at is not as bad as many in that regard.)

It would be easy for me to decide to stop investing in other people. But it would not be easy to continue to live here if I kept doing that. Yes, I can choose to be careful who I invest in, but I would only hurt myself if I decided that I would not be friends with anyone who I encounter here in Japan.

Newcomers to cross-cultural work sometimes complain that expats who've been round a while are slow to befriend them. I think that is mainly because of the tendency to "sniff them out". To gauge how long they might be likely to stay. To decide who is worth investing time in or not. That's the experience of Christie, the woman who wrote this article.

As she points out, making new friends is exhausting, and giving your heart again and again to others, to only have the pain of saying goodbye to them, is painful.

However, she makes some good points in favour of short-term friendships that are worth considering. Do go and read her article, but I'll expand on some of the reasons that resonate with me:

Gaining different life experience

I've learned so much in this crazy life. I try to get out a map when I'm getting to know people, so I've learned a lot of geography from the many people I've met. I can even tell you that Chicago is nowhere near New York or LA, I've learned that not many people picnic in the park in South Africa (at least I think that's right...that conversation was a while ago), and that Chinese are much more spontaneous than Japanese.

If you're a Facebook friend of mine you'll know that I've also learned a lot about language (it's fun asking word-questions of my friends who come from many different corners of the globe). I've learned about different cultures and had my life enriched in so many ways that I would have missed if I had only lived in one small town my whole life.

Finding peope who understand your expat life

In actual fact I miss having expats around me when we're in Australia. There is a bonding in the common life experience of major life moves, being without family, being an alien in this country, etc. that draws you together. There are things that we don't need to say between one another, yet when we talk with people who've never moved internationally, require lots of explanation.

Fast bonding and spontaneous gatherings

Knowing that that a friendship is almost probably short-term can help you bond quickly and be more spontaneous in gathering. And of course, the prerequisite understanding of the challenges of this life as mentioned above, helps too.

Bonding quickly and having a "seize the day" attitude has been a common experience. I think I've absorbed this so much that I can scare people I meet in Australia by going deep too fast for their comfort level.

Practical benefits

Word-of-mouth is a key way expats stay afloat in a place they're not natives to. Everything from doctors and dentists, to a good grocery store or park. Practically, we're often helping each other with things like a lift to an event, or help during a big more, or just being "family" when family can't be present.

So I continue to be committed to making friends here in Japan. Maybe one day I'll be blessed with opportunities to rekindle some of them longer-term elsewhere. But for now, I'll be content with what I have and not run with fear at the goodbyes that are inevitable.

What's it like being on a US base?

Someone who had never been on a US military base asked me the other day what it was like.

Here are a few observations:

A combo of Japan and, what I presume is US/military

For example, the below sign on one of the buildings: dual languages, but strangely the Japanese describes the distance as "feet" a measurement that is pretty much not ever used here.

You drive on the left side of the road, but the signs are American and the road rules are also American (which makes me nervous).

Many of the takeaway shops we have used in the food court have Japanese staff, so you can speak English or Japanese to them. I tend to modify my English to somewhat American vocab...eg. "green pepper" instead of "capsicum" at Subway. Some bases you can use yen, but some will give you change in USD. Sometimes they won't take larger denominations of yen.

It is like a foreign land

You have to go through an ID check of some sort at the gate and there are security measures that one has to abide by. That differs from base to base and sometimes from week to week! Your car also has been be registered with them to drive on and at most bases they check your documentation every time. You can't just go on at a whim, you need to be on a list that the school (in our case) has submitted to the base some time previously, or you need to be "sponsored" by someone who has military ID. Sometimes it's taken us an hour to get onto a base, sometimes it's just a few minutes.

The shops are American, so some are familiar, but some aren't. For example, I've discovered Philly steaks are a thing, a good thing. It is somewhat embarrassing, though, to be lining up for one of these places, being able to understand the menu, but not really understanding even though you look like you should. At the place where we do cross-country, you can buy snacks at the little store and most of the "candy" is unknown to us.

There is an alien feel to them

This has got to be the "military" bit: the buildings are all painted this same beige colour.

The base where we've had all the athletics meets this year is an airbase. Most of the time I've just used the one gate, but when I've been with ex-military friends we've gone out a different gate that means driving across the runway! That's pretty weird. At another base where we've gone for wrestling, you can see the military ships in dock (maybe a nuclear submarine or two?).

Of course, there are a few guns (mostly at the gate) and people walking around in military uniform too.

This missionary life is full of surprises. I never expected to be visiting US military bases when I first headed to Japan (nor for many years after that, either). But here we are!

And we're going back tomorrow. We're past half-way, only two more long Saturday meets this season after tomorrow.

Big stuff going on in Japan that you might not know about

I have been shocked a couple of times recently when I've realised that friends outside of Japan aren't aware of some of the big things happening in Japan this year. I guess I've gotten so immersed in being here that I'm not sure what it's like for those who aren't? Here are a few things going on in Japan that you may or may not be aware of:

• The emperor has abdicated and will step down from that role next Tuesday after 30 years of service. His eldest son will take up the role the next day. This is a big transition for this ceremonial role. It's the first abdication in over 200 years.
• Japan has a rather unique system (as far as I'm aware) of naming the period of the reign of an emperor before or as the new emperor takes up that role. That name is then used in the calendar system. So, this year is not just 2019, it is also "Heisei 31." The new era name was announced on April 1 and will be Reiwa.
• There is a one-off public holiday on May 1 to mark the occasion.
• That day is in the middle of a number of holidays collectively dubbed "Golden Week". So, there are an unprecedented 10-days of holidays starting Saturday. No one really knows what to expect. People have been told to check things like the schedules of doctors. 
• We've discovered that a 10-day holiday makes some Japanese people feel uncomfortable. They don't usually go away for lengthy holidays, it's not a part of the culture. There has been speculation as to why people are unhappy, but I'm not sure that our foreigners have a real understanding. This article cites a number of reasons why people might be unhappy. It concludes with this quote: 

Seishu Sato, a 31-year-old finance worker, told AFP: "To be honest, I don't know how to spend the time when we are suddenly given 10 days of holidays."

Another couple of things that you may or may not know is that Japan is also preparing to host some major sporting events in the next 16 months:

• 2019 Rugby World Cup
• 2020 Olympics and Paralympics

We've been seeing the impact of those two events on everyday life here. 

With pressure on restaurants to be non-smoking, one of the popular chains that we sometimes dine at has gone totally smoke-free. 

Not a great shot, but part of one platform
that has construction all over it, with the
accompanying stripes to warn of danger.

We're not near any venues, but as I've travelled about the city on trains, I've also seen a lot of construction on train stations. It seems they are especially working on accessibility. One station that I often use didn't have good wheelchair access at one entrance, I'm pleased to say that has now changed. That's also good news for anyone toting a heavy suitcase across town.

Our athletics season has also been impacted. Usually, many of the meets are at a Japanese venue near the bay, but this year, due to construction related to the Olympics, we've not been able to use that venue for most of the meets.

So there you go—a few "local" current events. Because of my work in publishing and social media, I've been quite immersed in thinking about these things. Researching, editing, and writing about these events means that they're very much in the forefront of my mind, hence my surprise when someone who's never been to Japan and doesn't have a big interest in the country doesn't know.

Looking after the customers

A notable characteristic in Japan is looking after the customers. We've seen a great improvement in this in Australia over the years, but I think it's mostly done there out of fear of being abused by the customer (or sued). But Japan goes way beyond Australia's version of customer service, it seems to be embedded in their culture, not a product of fear.

Last week I rode to a newly opened grocery store in our neighbourhood. I was amused to find three "guard men" in the car park looking after customers.

In the photo, you can see half of the car park and about an eighth of the bike park. It is not large! But three men were helping people park their cars and bikes. The bike park was pretty full when I arrived and one of them directed me to an empty slot.

I bought a full-load of stuff, and it took a while to load it all into my baskets, so I got to hear them interacting with customers. The man closest to me in the photo was thanking people as they left to store as well as helping with bikes. The two at the entrance were greeting people. I got an extra blessing of "Be careful" as I rode out with my well-loaded bike!

I shared this experience with a couple of Japanese friends the next day. One of them later shared a video with me that includes a hilarious section about these "guards" that I include here for your enjoyment (it's a 17-minute video, the "guard" part is 30 sec at the 4-minute mark).

Though it may seem a bit over the top, you really do feel looked after and I have to admit that there are times I miss that in Australia. A classic time was trying to find my way through complex roadwork on my bike in Brisbane a few years ago. There were no signs, no people to direct or even to ask. I had a moment of homesickness for Japan right there.

Hot cross buns

Hot cross buns aren't readily available in Japan (though I've heard that some bakeries are starting to make them). So it's make-it-yourself or don't have any.

This is the recipe I used on Sunday. I printed it off the Australia Women's Weekly site some years ago and I can't find it there now, so I'm typing it out here for any of you who'd like to try it. Just don't substitute the sugar for salt like I did in my fatigue on Sunday. It simply doesn't work and cost me over 1/2 hour in lost time!

Ingredients

Buns

4 tsp or 14g dry yeast
1 tablespoon (20g) of sugar
1 cup or 250ml of warm milk

4 cups or 600g plain/cake flour
2 tsp of cinnamon
1/2 tsp salt
80g butter, chopped
1 cup or 160g sultanas or raisins (soak in warm water, if they are a bit too desiccated)
Optional: about 2 tablespoon of mixed peel (I used a peeler to take off the top layer of an orange's peel and then chopped it into small pieces)
1 egg, beaten slightly
1/2 cup of sugar
1/3 cup or 80ml warm water

Flour paste (makes crosses)

1/2 cup or 70g plain flour

1 tablespoon of white sugar

6 tablespoons of water (approximately).

Glaze

Brush with milk before applying crosses. 

Method

1. Sift the flour, spices, and salt into a large bowl.

2. Rub in the butter.

3. Make the yeast mixture:

1. Combine the first three ingredients on the list: the yeast with the one tablespoon of sugar and the warm milk.
2. Whisk until yeast is dissolved.
3. Stand in a warm place until yeast mixture is frothy (5-10 minutes).

4. Into the flour mixture, stir the 1/2 cup of sugar, fruit, egg, and yeast mixture. Add enough water to make a soft dough.

5. Leave the bowl in a warm place for about an hour. My oven has a 40˚C setting. so I used that.

6. Turn the dough onto a lightly floured surface, and knead until it is smooth and elastic (recipe says 10 minutes, but it didn't take me that long).

7. Divide the dough into 20 portions, quickly roll them into balls and put them on the tray— gently touching, in a pan with sides, if possible.

8. Leave them to rise in a warm place for about 20 minutes.

9. Make flour paste by mixing together, gradually adding water until you've got a smooth, fairly liquid consistency.

10. Pipe the paste onto the buns, or use a plastic bag with the corner snipped off just a tiny bit.

11. Bake at 190C for about 15 minutes or until buns sound hollow when tapped.

They are so yummy, that I'm thinking of making another batch before Easter.

Elections in Japan and Australia

I ended up getting into trouble talking with American friends on Saturday about the upcoming national elections in Australia. I clearly don't know much about the how the electoral system works! 

One thing I did know was that we had to sort out our enrolment. It's compusory to be enrolled and to vote in Australia, so as we move in and out of the country, it's one of those things we have to take care of each time. However, there is a loophole for expats living abroad—we don't have to vote if we tell them that we might not (I guess it covers problems like postage being slow etc.). In our rush to get back to Japan, we didn't get around to notifying the Australian Electoral Commission of our move, and then the election announcment last week meant we needed to act, so we downloaded, filled out, scanned, and emailed our forms over the weekend.

It turns out that Tokyo's having local elections too. We found that out last week as we saw these boards erected around the city, and then from yesterday political campaingers driving around the streets with their loudspeakers. I now know that there is a local candidate by the name of Rieko Abe, she's driven past our house multiple times, repeatedly stating her name. I saw her car again while I was out today too, complete with a lady with white gloves in it, waving to all those she saw, even foreigners who will not be able to vote this coming Sunday.

I learnt more when a Google search turned up this Japan Times article. Turns out, according to the article, there are 86 mayors being voted for this coming Sunday! Tokyo is not a city, it's a prefecture, a rather large one at that (though not geographically). With a population of 13.8 million, it's got more people living in it than 159 countries, or nearly 70% of the countries of the world. It consists of 23 special wards, 26 cities, one district and four subprefectures, including two sets of islands south of Tokyo. I'm really not sure how you get 86 mayors of of that...

Anyway. Here's what one of these electoral cars sounds like:

Thankfully the local elections appear to only get one week to campaign!

Astonishing friendships born out of mission work

In the light of trying to write an editorial for the Summer magazine, I've decided that writing here is much easier and definitely preferable at 4.30 on a Thursday afternoon!

I saw this article recently and thought it was worth sharing and commenting on. It focuses on the relationships that develop between missionaries and their financial supporters. But I think it applies to more relationships than just financial supporters. 

People who pray faithfully for missionaries develop a closeness to them that defies understanding. They often only see us a couple of times a decade, yet when we see them it seems like no time has passed—and that's not just a couple of close friends. As is evidenced by the number of private social engagements we end up doing when we're home. During the six months of home assignment in 2018 we had meals or coffee with more than 20 individuals/families who pray for us, most of whom it was hard to say goodbye to when our time was up. And we didn't see everyone we would have liked to, we saw quite a lot more than that last time we did a one-year home assignment!

Of course, we do what we can to foster those friendships and prayer partnerships by providing regular prayer letters that inform them of what we're up to. I'm a lucky missionary in that I enjoy writing and designing these, so our prayer team gets them regularly.

I know that the process of support raising is not just a fearsome one for potential missionaries, but also a rather mysterious one for people in general (I wrote a post a couple of years ago about it here). For us, in a mission that doesn't allow solicitation of funds (i.e. asking for money), it mostly means:

1. Building up relationships that we already have, 
2. Developing new relationships as the Lord leads people to us, and 
3. Doing our best to tell people about what we do—which usually amounts to writing prayer letters and answering their questions when we see them. But I extend that by using social media and my blog.

One of our boys asked me a few years ago how we had so many friends (we were on home assignment at the time and he was a bit tired of visiting with lots of people). I basically told him it was our job. On top of the work we do in Japan, our job includes staying in touch with supporters in Australia and that includes periodically visiting them. 

The whole thing, though, is counterintuitive. It doesn't make good sense in many ways, this model of mission. For example, looking at things from a worldly perspective:

• prayer doesn't make sense in a non-transcendental worldview (I've been working on my vocabulary today in my editorial work and had an article to read about this subject)
• sending people who don't understand the culture or language of a country to work there doesn't make much sense
• after they've gotten a bit of understanding and proficiency, then pulling them out to go back to their home country to meet people and talk about their work also doesn't make good sense in terms of productivity and levels of stress, especially if they have a paying job on the field (as David does)
• working as a volunteer, dependent on the financial gifts of others isn't the most secure way to do anything.

No wonder people don't understand what we do and how we do it. Especially if they don't know the God who sends us on this crazy journey.

I've run out of words. I love the way the article ends:

When he wants to reach a nation, he rarely sends a company of glorious angels. Instead he sends a team of fallible humans. And when he wants to use an individual, he rarely chooses the most gifted, but the most ordinary—propped up by the quiet prayers and tangible love of her friends.

Thank you to all of you who we have astonishing friendships with, born out of what we do. We love you and thank God regularly for you. 

A birthday post

It's nearly a week since my birthday and I wanted to recount the blessings of that once-a-year day to you. I've learnt not to have too high expectations, but also to plan something fun for myself.

This time I got some surprises: two invitations from friends. One from a friend I've invited out for coffee before on my birthday (yep, don't be shy!). She blessed me with a great conversation, a cute card signed by her kids, and some lovely "Pillow perfume"!

Another friend invited me out to lunch on Friday. I recounted this on Facebook at the time:

A friend said, “I’ll buy you lunch for your birthday.”
“Where?” I asked. 
“Anywhere!” 
So I asked if we could go into the city to one of the spots people come from overseas to see in this Sakura season and she said, “Sure!”
So for the first time ever, I joined the crowds around the Imperial Palace in Sakura Season.

I'm always amazed at these elderly Japanese people
who are really into photography. And I mean "really"!
It's very common to see them along the river with their
"foot-long" lenses.

Tulips were a big discovery in our first spring in Japan.
We'd arrived during the snowy winter of Sapporo and
the splash of colour that tulips made was a wonderful delight.

On my actual birthday I also took a couple of hours to ride to my favourite park. It's a popular sakura viewing spot, but there are other flowers out too. The whole place was pulsing with energy: lots of kids, families, and various groups celebrating the visible start of spring in Tokyo. The tulips and following park photos are from that ride.

Groups like this are common. They're having a "hanami" or "flower viewing" party. Often it involves alcohol and snacks.

So many bikes!

I also got some cool presents including a potted rose from my hubby. He reasons that even though it might die in my care, it will last longer than cut flowers do.

I received two necklaces. One from my parents and one from my 13 y.o. The latter is extra special because it is a rock he found while we were camping the week before. He got David to help order a chain and attached it himself with left-over wire he bought for another project. Wow!

I also spent an hour talking to mum and dad via video chat and another hour talking to a close friend the next day. We "dragged" the boys out to dinner at a family-friendly Italian restaurant in the evening and had a reasonable family time too.

I'm thankful for one more year of life. Each year brings surprises and challenges. Possibly my last year had a few more than most in the last few years. But I continue to be grateful to my rock and foundation, the Lord Jesus Christ, who holds me steady through all the changes and surprises each year brings.

Fun with bread

On social media a couple of weeks ago I shared this photo of a bread loaf I made in our breadmaker. A friend wanted the recipe, though I've never tried transferring a breadmaker recipe to a hand-made version, it probably would work okay.

Thus, the ingredients are as follows:

450g bread flour

30g sugar

30g butter

12g skim milk powder

9g salt

340ml water

2.8g yeast

My guess would be that you combine the yeast, sugar, and water and leave it till it froths (about five minutes?). Then add that to the rest of the dry ingredients and knead for a while. Then leave it to rise for an hour and knead it again and leave another hour then bake. I'm really guessing here, but an intelligent guess based on this recipe I've successfully used for bread rolls.

I was on a MYOB (make your own bread) streak for a while a couple of years ago, I documented some of that in this blog post. That was mostly fancy stuff, not the basic loaves that I've been making recently.

The truth of the matter is that Japanese bread, in our opinion, is quite sweet and lacking in substance. In more recent years you've been able to buy non-white bread, but it's quite expensive when you're feeding hungry teenage boys. So we generally make our own and we love it.

Last year a colleague passed on to me the legendary OMF German Bread recipe (apparently any Japan OMFer worth their salt as a baker has this...). This one is super easy, with no kneading required. It's also very yummy, with some nice crunchy bits in it.

German Bread Recipe

500g white bread flour

1 cup brown flour

1/2 cup rolled oats

1/2 cup sunflower seeds

a handful of chopped nuts or other things like pumpkin seeds

2 teaspoons of sugar

2 teaspoons of salt

3 teaspoons of dry yeast

3 cups of lukewarm water

largish dash of oil

A slice of German bread. Small, but yummy!

Method

1. Mix the dry ingredients well. 

2. Add water and oil and mix well.

3. Let it sit to rise for 30 minutes.

4. Stir lightly.

5. Fill two tins.

6. Leave to rise for 10-15 minutes.

7. Bake at 190˚C for 50 minutes.

German bread before

German bread after

Oh, and I haven't made bread rolls for some time. I should get around to that again. Bread rolls in grocery stores are also pretty new in Japan—we're seeing them more and more here—and they're getting bigger. Until recently you've only been able to buy tiny dinner rolls and even then not in every grocery store. By the way, since I did that blog post I linked to above about bread rolls, I've discovered that if you bake them with an oven tray on top, that keeps them nice and flat, great for burgers.

Now this has made me hungry . . . I'd better get on with making dinner soon (and hope that it's not as disastrous as last nights was!). 

Excerpts from our April newsletter

Excerpts from our April prayer letter. Again, if you'd like the full version (which includes eight photos), please message or email me.

The beach where we camped last week.

End of an Era

This month marks a historic occasion in Japan. After 31 years, Japan’s 85-year-old emperor is stepping aside to allow his 59-year-old son Crown Prince Naruhito to take the throne. This is the first time in over 200 years (the last time was 1817).

In an address to the nation two years ago, Emperor Akihito said, “When I consider that my fitness level is gradually declining, I am worried that it may become difficult for me to carry out my duties as the symbol of the State with my whole being as I have done until now.” 

The role of the emperor in Japan is entirely representative and ceremonial, with no political power at all. However, he is held with a great deal of respect by the nation. Before WW2 the emperor was held to be divine, but the current constitution, written under Allied occupation, prohibited that practise.

The traditional Japanese calendar is tied to the reign period of the current emperor. Each time a new emperor begins to rule, a new counting of the years begins and the period acquires a new name. For example, 2019 has begun as Heisei 31, meaning the 31st year of the Heisei era. The new era will begin on May 1, and the name for that era, usually announced after the death of the emperor, was announced today: Reiwa.

A public holiday has been declared to celebrate the new emperor’s ascension. That means that there will be 10 public holidays in a row, as it’s in the middle of a collection of holidays dubbed “Golden week”. CAJ doesn’t take most of these, but services like doctors, gyms, and  the garbage collectors will take a number of them.

OMF Japan’s social media this month will focus on the changes that have happened in Japan over the last 31 years in relation to culture and mission work. It will be an illuminating journey. We’d love you to drop by our Facebook and Instragram pages and learn more about this fascinating country. 

Welcoming new people

We have many new students arriving at CAJ in the first week of April: 22 of them! That means that our community will be hard at work helping them to get used to way we do things. However, it will be a challenge, as we are only 11 weeks away from the end of the school year!

Why so many right now? Most of these families have waited until their children have finished their current year in Japanese schools—which start in April and finish in March. (For those teachers out there, that means only a two-week break between school years. It has pros and cons, but seems to work here. Their longer break is in August, at the height of summer.)

For younger students, it will be a time of getting to know their classmates, rather than trying to catch up on the work that the others have done. CAJ teachers try to only give them marks based on what they have done here. For older students, there will be an added burden of catching up small things here and there, usually a maths topic.

Please pray that our school community would welcome the new students and that they would find friends quickly. Pray, too, for their parents to get to know other parents and ask for help when they need it. 

Some prayer points:

• Continue to pray for new financial support pledges and one-off donations that add up to 100% support each month. Praise that thus far in 2019 we've received 105% of our support needs.
• For rest. We're feeling weary. David's had three colds since we returned and Wendy's struggled with stress-related symptoms.
• For the right person to be appointed high school principal of CAJ.
• For our Japanese church—that they will grow in enthusiasm for missions and for wisdom for the leaders encouraging involvement.
• Pray for new students (22) at CAJ in April.
• Praise for our camping trip and a week off school at the end of March.
• For our youngest boy as he celebrates another birthday this month.