29 October, 2017

What do you do to relax with your teenage boys?

I was going to say that I was "side-swipped" by this question in my two-year-review, but perhaps that's putting it too strongly. My reviewer had noticed that all my answers to the question about how I relax were things I did on my own or with David.

After a moment or two I replied, "Well obviously camping is something we do all together that is relaxing. But it's increasingly hard to get at least one of them out of the house. So much of our relaxing is done at home individually." (And often with electronics). So much of their time is spent at school and doing sport, that leaving home (especially for the strongly introverted one) isn't so appealing.
During our summer holidays this year we camped at a
campground that had pet jumbo rabbits. It was fun to see the
boys interacting with these unusual pets.

They do enjoy board games (though games that I don't really enjoy), and sometimes that's something that they do in a group when they have more spare time, like during the summer or Christmas holidays. I don't always join in, though, because I usually frustrate them by asking too many questions about the rules or by being too slow and making decisions (because I can't keep all the rules in my head). During those longer breaks we often watch movies together too, but not during the school term, it's too busy!

As I've thought about it since, I realised that some other ways we relax as a family is by going out for a meal or for "coffee". It doesn't happen very often, but it does happen. More rarely is a trip to a friend's house or to a park (we did go with friends to a park in August and also in July). But to a degree, being involved on Saturdays at their sporting events is something done somewhat together and is more or less relaxing!

I tried taking them out this morning for a doughnut on the way home from church but it wasn't so successful. Two boys had just has a mild disagreement and the mood wasn't so great. Trying to create conversation just didn't work so well. Such is life with teens. Sometimes the going is good, sometimes it isn't. 

At lunch just a couple of hours later, conversation wasn't so bad, until the topic of farting came up. It got so bad that I said, "The next person who uses that word will have to finish lunch on the stairs."

David came home this evening after a week of travel to Oregon for training for software he uses in his job. I'm so glad to have him back. He says that life here is quiet when I'm gone. I'd say that it's maybe not quite so quiet when he's gone, but I certainly find that a second adult around to contribute to conversation is extremely helpful. They aren't usually all grunts and eye rolls (though we still do get those), and I think there are more bright spots than there used to be, but we're still a way away from regular engaging conversation.

But I've drifted from my original topic. For those of you who have teenagers, what do you do (or did you do, if they're older now) to relax with your teens?

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