Swinging emotions

Fear seems to be close to the surface for many, especially foreigners. I guess after a shock like we've had, it makes sense that people are pretty shaky. Shaky seems to be a particularly apt adjective given all the shaking that is happening. Here in Western Tokyo we're feeling at least one or more a day. I can only guess that those living closer to the coast must be feeling even more shaky.

Over the last 13 days so many things we could previously rely on have changed. People are wondering, "What next?"

Think about it. Assumptions have been challenged. Baseline assumptions like, 

• Tokyo Trains are convenient. 
• Food and fuel are easily available in Japan. Oh, and toilet paper too!
• As long as we pay for it, we can use as much power as we want.
• School will be in session on these dates (enter in calendar).

And even 

• Japan is a (relatively) safe mission field. Yes, earthquakes happen, but big ones don't happen all that often (although there's only been two in the last 50 years that have caused more than 60 deaths).

And for missionaries:

• I'm called to Japan, and I'm staying until (enter in some predetermined date like their next home assignment).

So, people are understandably feeling jittery. People are quietly (or more loudly, depending on who you talk to) wondering - what next? What will change next? What other assumption that I've made will be challenged?

I spent a few hours at CAJ today. I met with a couple of journalists who'll be writing for Japan Harvest, I had a pot-luck lunch with other staff families who are still around, I watched a movie with some kids at school (Despicable Me - so fun!) and I chatted with various others around campus. Some of it was fun, but at other times you could sense the tension under the surface.

We're all longing for things to get back to normal, but I wonder what 'normal' will be. What assumptions will I be able to make?

I've been wondering about a little about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I don't really know a lot about it, but with a brief search found the following useful quote (from here):

The traumatic events that lead to post-traumatic stress disorder are usually so overwhelming and frightening that they would upset anyone. Following a traumatic event, almost everyone experiences at least some of the symptoms of PTSD. When your sense of safety and trust are shattered, it’s normal to feel crazy, disconnected, or numb. It’s very common to have bad dreams, feel fearful or numb, and find it difficult to stop thinking about what happened. These are normal reactions to abnormal events.

For most people, however, these symptoms are short-lived. They may last for several days or even weeks, but they gradually lift. But if you have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), the symptoms don’t decrease.

It is reassuring to know that what we are experiencing are normal reactions.

I also found these list of symptoms here which I've either seen in myself or others have commented on them recently:

Symptoms of Increased Arousal
trouble falling or staying asleep
difficulty deciding anything
irritability
difficulty concentrating
outbursts of anger
spasms of grief
hypervigilance about safety
startle reactions
bodily reactions to triggers (e.g., sweating, nausea, trembling, pain, hyperventilation)
knot in stomach or headache

Here's a reminder to myself: it is not helpful to spiritualise my anxiety or upset emotions and feel guilty over them. These are normal human reactions. On the other hand I need to hand these things over to God whose promised peace beyond human understanding:

 Or as The Message puts it:
Philippians 4 ^6-7Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. 

Over the last 13 days I've swung between worry and peace, probably a pretty average reaction. And we've really only had a small taste of disaster here. I cannot imagine the anxiety and stress which people closer to the devastation much be experiencing. Back to praying for them (and myself).