13 October, 2018

Acquainted with grief?

I have a few blog posts that I want to write, I just haven't got here. We got back from our holidays a week ago and have barely stopped since.

My heart is feeling a bit raw, but also encouraged by various things. It probably doesn't help that I'm dealing with physical pain (ear infection) as well as generally being tired. 

On Wednesday I took the morning to visit our mission's psychologist to talk about some difficult things (unfortunately their offices are more than an hour from where we live, so it's quite a round trip). She was encouraging, and, as always, asked excellent questions. I've now got homework, though! But that homework is, hopefully, a way forward in some areas that have been weighing heavily on my heart in the past few years.

One of the things she brought my attention to was that Jesus was "acquainted with grief".
He was despised and rejected by men,    a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief;and as one from whom men hide their faces    he was despised, and we esteemed him not.(Isaiah 53:3 English Standard Version, ESV).
Here are two friends I had to say goodbye to in June in Japan.
One of my challenges is to think about becoming acquainted with grief, as in not thinking of it like a foe, but rather an acquaintance. That's going to take some pondering. Does anyone have any thoughts on this? How we can become more friendly with "grief"?

I've always thought of that phrase as an old way of saying that he knew what it was like to experience grief, not that he thought of it as anything other than an enemy.

Our lives as missionaries mean that we know many hellos and goodbyes, some bigger than others. That can wear you down, especially if you have a lot of turn-over in friendships. I've been longing for more stability in the friend-department, but somehow need to become more at ease with how much grief I've been called to.

I'm not really here with answers today, more the case that I'm just airing some of the things I'm thinking about and keeping it real.

Today's been a delightfully quiet day (aside from a trip to the doctor and a session with our very noisy vacuum cleaner). By God's grace, I'll have the strength for another big day of driving and speaking tomorrow.

Next week is looking a bit more sedate, so I'm looking forward to that (and perhaps you'll see a bit more blogging from me).

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