Today I am fighting with myself. You see I have this list of things that must get done . . . and it just isn't getting done. And more things keep getting added to it, without being able to cross off other things.
The problem probably started with my busy week last week. I was sick last Monday and then the snow day last Tuesday was when it all started to come unravelled. I had little time from Thursday onwards to deal with my growing to-do list, but consoled myself with the fact that this week had very little scheduled, so surely I'd be able to catch up.
Well, guess what? The unexpected, unplanned happened! I grew sicker over the weekend, partly because I overdid it last week (by not doing my to-do list!). So yesterday I was forced to spend most of the day in bed or at the doctor, fretting slightly at my undone to-do list.
Then came the straw that broke the camel's back. The announcement by the school that First Grade would shut today and tomorrow. Too many children have flu symptoms and it is CAJ's policy to shut a class if a too many of the class comes down with a communicable disease. A sensible policy that is shared by the Japanese schooling system. At CAJ students are prohibited from being on campus. In the Japanese system they are prohibited from doing anything outside the home (even if they are the well ones of the class). However, even sensible policies have their down sides, particularly for those who have to drop whatever they were planning to do on those days.
So today, my to-do list still languishes. And I fret. I probably shouldn't, but I have done. I've tried to be patient. Sitting and playing Junior Scrabble, Racko. Listening to reading and reading to him. But if my exterior has been calm, I haven't been all that calm on the inside. I wish I could more easily drop my expectations, but it is something I find hard to do. I like to be dependable, I hate it when life intervenes and I have to disappoint people, and myself.
Hang in there Wendy! Be kind to yourself. You are only one person, and stuff happens, so don't fret about letting people down. Those who know you well will know that you did your level best in the circumstances and in the strength that God gave you. You will eventually get some of those things off the list, it just might be in His time, not yours!
ReplyDeleteI say all this, knowing it's easy to say, and not so easy to do. Fortunately we're all works in progress and Philippians 1:6 applies to all of us. Have a great Wednesday!