12 December, 2019

Thoughts at the end of a 16-week "term"

We're nearly there: at the end of the first "block" of school. In Australia they have four terms: each of 10 weeks. I originally wrote "we are used to", but the truth is we've rarely had our kids in that system, so we really aren't "used to" that anymore, though we grew up in such a system and hanker after it every now and then. 

Here, we get only two breaks of a week or more within the school year. The first one is over Christmas-New Year and is about three weeks. The second is just a week, at the end of March. [Of course we then get a rather long summer holiday of nearly three months! But I honestly would rather have it split up through the whole year.]

School started over 16 weeks ago  we've had just a couple of long weekends in that time. Plus, this year, two hospitalisations during that period. Not to mention that the last four weeks of our summer break was fraught with stress as our middle son, with the assistance of David, completed a whole year subject of high level maths. [Long story about how that happened, but it was much more than we expected.] I was working from home (as usual) during that period, and the daily saga of wondering if he'd get through this mountain of work, and sitting in relatively close proximity to the drama, was stressful.

When the boys were younger it was crazy by this time of the year: fatigue, plus the excitement of Christmas overwhelmed our household in early December. Now the boys are older that is lessened, but we have noted that these older boys are having a bit more difficulty getting out of bed. That's compounded by the fact that it really is nicer in bed than out on these cold mornings, and that the sun doesn't get up until after 6.30 (not as bad as many northern European places, I know, but still, it doesn't help).
A Christmas morning tea in a past year.
Needless to say, we're all looking forward to next week. We're going away for a seven-day break, back to the house we stayed at in July. Loaded up with books, movies, games, and food, we'll apply ourselves again to intense relaxation.

This pre-Christmas holiday week is one of the few traditions that we've managed to maintain as a family. At least "big" traditions. This year it will be a bit strange as we get used to doing it as a family of four, rather than five.

I'm looking forward to time away from the relentless-ness of my work. My never-ending pile of editing, email, and social media responsibilities will be put on hold for a week. And no WiFi will certainly help! I'm also glad this Christmas that we are not looking down the barrel of lots of travel: though seeing family in Australia is always good, for us it means hours and hours of driving. Last Christmas we also were in the midst of transition as we packed up our lives in Australia and shifted focus back to Japan. Not starting 2020 like that will be a huge bonus! But now I'm moving onto an end-of-year post that I can write after Christmas.

I hope the lead up to your Christmas is not too fraught. At Christmas there can often be a lot of pressure to be perfect and to have it all sorted. We see ads and social media posts with happy families that have it all together, with piles of presents or food, and with intricately decorated homes. No one is arguing, or hiding in their room. We don't see the struggles people have with finding time or money or even enthusiasm. We don't see the loneliness that often comes with such a season. We don't see the families that are torn apart with divorce, and the parents who can't see their kids on Christmas day.

If any of the above describes you, please don't despair. The ads and the social media only show a sliver of the truth, not the whole truth. No family is perfect, many out there are hurting. You aren't alone. If you need help, please reach out. To a friend, to a local social service, to a trusted pastor. If any of my personal friends need an ear, know that I'm around on Messenger, or via email if you need me.


We ourselves aren't doing badly. We have friends here, tomorrow night we are celebrating with a few of them. Christmas Day will be quiet, with just the four of us, but we typically connect with family back in Australia via video calls as well! After a busy year we won't be disappointed in a quiet Christmas. It is our first Christmas without our eldest son with us, but then both of us did that to our families when we were in our early 20s, so it's not such a strange thing that he's growing up and doing his own thing.

Well, this has turned out to be a rambling blog post. I hope it gives you some insight into our "on the edge of ordinary" life at the moment. A friend just sent me this video, I thought you might enjoy it too.


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