Endings

Funerals seem to be a bit of a theme running through this week. No, no one close to me has died, but we know about three separate people who have died in the last couple of weeks in three different countries. They are all parents of friends or colleagues.

But the other "funereal" theme that's creeping into our lives is something I've referred to in the past as a "living funeral". Something we've been the subject of every time we've made an international move in the last 22 ½ years (which is ten times now, by my calculations). Here are a couple of quotes from a blog post I wrote in 2015:

It happens when you're leaving. Everyone talks to you about leaving. It can be like a living funeral. The collective effect of all these conversations is sadness. Friends also stop talking to you in quite the same way, they don't want to talk about future events that you won't be a part of, so you are gradually eased to the edge of the community.

I guess it helps everyone cope with the emotions associated with parting with friends, but it isn't nice. 

And—

On Thursday afternoon in the space of a couple of hours I had multiple conversations about us leaving. It just left me feeling empty and sad.

This week I was part of a two-hour meeting, a committee that helps to oversee the social media work I do for our mission. If I had a dollar for each time something like the phrase "when Wendy goes on home assignment", I'd be able to shout a couple of friends coffee (the Australian phrase for "pay for other's food/drink"). They were doing some planning for the future and I felt a bit powerless, knowing I wouldn't be around to help them do what they want to do, and that I'm not sure how they're going to manage it. 

I'm encouraged, however, by what an older friend said to me on Tuesday, that sometimes we need to put a "ball" down and see who/how/if it gets picked up again. I'm about to put a lot of balls down, and it's not easy, but it needs to be done.

The other funereal thing has been downsizing: disposing of some of our worldly goods. Though in general that's making me happy, not sad! There are things leaving our house almost daily (or being earmarked to leave with a certain person). This is one thing that seems far more common in the missionary community than in other communities: the tradition of giving away your stuff (with or without money changing hands).

We’re giving away this beautiful  5 L Corning Ware
casserole dish, one of many things that has been
culled from our household goods.

So, back to funerals. At least our withdrawal is a planned one, an expected one (this home assignment date has been in the schedule for more than five years, maybe as many as eight). We do get to say goodbye and we hope that for many it’s a “see you later” farewell. I need to keep reminding myself, I should be thankful for that!

And when thinking about endings, this song is a good one to refocus us on what’s important and who is eternal and wise:  https://youtu.be/ara0P_pUMO4