Looking back at last week's retreat

More than a week ago I wrote about going to a spiritual retreat. I guess I should get around to letting you know how that went.

The cabin I stayed in. It can accomomdate about nine in
beds, there were just two of us though, one upstairs and
one down.

This retreat was actually closer to the true meaning of its name than other retreats I've done in the past. Yes, other retreats have been a "withdrawal" from everyday life. But generally I've come home at least as physically tired as I left. I may have been refreshed spiritually and socially, but tired from the intenseness of being with a lot of people and a generally busy schedule.

This retreat was much smaller (12 people, plus the facilitators) and the intent was much more about rest. On each of the two full days (not Tuesday or Friday, the part-days) we had spiritaul input in the morning and free time all afternoon and into the evening. Our accommodation was also arranged spaciously, so if you wanted time alone, that was easily achievable during free time.

View from my bed.

I was, as I'd expected, very tired when I got there. I even found it hard to concentrate much on what was going on in some of the sessions. In some ways it would have been good to do less of the input/interaction time at the start of our "long weekend". On the Tuesday we travelled there after lunch and then had sessions from 4.30 till after dinner. My small group was still sharing about "where they were at" after 9pm and I struggled to keep my "nice face" on.

Wednesday morning was focused a lot on the problems, stresses, and griefs of our lives, especially in cross-cultural work. It was good to name it all, but also a bit overwhelming in the number of challenges we face. 

My kintsugi pot.

This culminated in an activity that provoked strong emotions in some. It's an Japanese method of mending broken pots with gold called kintsugi. According to this article, it began in the 15th century. The activity we did was a poor-man's version, as in we didn't use real gold, of course! But we did have to smash our own pots, which in itself was traumatic and far from easy. Some pots smashed too much and were super hard to put back together. Mine didn't, so I was rather quickly able to glue mine back together and paint over the glue with gold paint. I found it a bit troublesome to watch others (we were seated in a u-shape) try to fix theirs. The missionary beside me got a bit distressed. However, not only could I not help her, it was a silent activity, so I couldn't really encourage her either. Being both an encourager and a helper, I found this difficult to cope with. After a bit I put on another familiar hat and wrote down some of my thoughts.

I took it easy on Wednesday afternoon, reading a novel on my bed for a lot of the time. Wednesday night many of us joined in lighthearted board and card games.

Games, puzzles, and imprompu karaoke.

On Thursday morning we spent a lot of time dwelling on the Trinity and God's love for us. That was good, but I found it overwhelming after a while. A tiny bit like some of the scenes we see in the Bible where people see a bit more of who God is than they are able to handle. (See Isaiah 6 and Revelations 1). Nothing close to what those two passages mention, but a sense of the love of God being way too big for me to grasp to the point where I could barely even think about it any more.

Thursday afternoon I wasn't so lazy, I went for a 45 minute walk and also spent over an house in a "soul-care" conversation with one of our facilitators. Thursday night was a campfire. No, we didn't sing Kumbaya, nor did we have any majorly deep conversations or testimonies, it was mostly a fun time together. Probably what I needed! Confession: I did tell some camping stories, including that time we accidentally went camping in the snow ;-). 

One of my reflections on the retreat is that missionaries don't often have lighthearted stuff in their schedule. The needs are great and we can lurch from serious day to serious day without much break. I think that's especially the case in Japan where even hobbies are taken very seriously! It was great to have the "excuse" to have fun.

The mission holiday compound is almost wedged between the lake and Mt Fuji.
And entirely delightful (yet cool) place to be.

Most of the week Mt Fuji looked like this during the day (I
was told by early birds that it was often visible early).

On the last day the clouds cleared and Mt Fuji appeared in all its glory.

Another lake view from in front of the property.

There is a pathway around most of the lake. I walked a short way on Thursday:

I have definitely come back more rested than before I went, so just in that it was a worthwhile adventure. I'm left pondering if I can build something into my life on an annual (or more frequent basis) that wouldn't cost too much, yet would provide time to both rest and dwell on spiritual matters more deeply. Still pondering that.

Have you ever done a spritual retreat? How was it structured? What did you think about it? I've avoided doing one up till now for a couple of hard-to-articulate reasons, but I don't think it's so bad a thing. I'm not so sure how I'd deal with a "silent retreat", though.