Limiting our focus

Whoops, looks like I accidentally published this as a very spare draft last week (note to self—change the settings on my phone-to-Blogger interface). I'm back now to pay it some serious writing attention.
____________________

A view from the weekend when we went for a stroll.

I've realized there's some things I don't have energy for right now. Both mental and physical. In order to stay afloat we're very focused. Focused on our family's needs, and the demands of our various jobs. Focused on extended family and key friends. Focused on getting done what needs to be done these six months. A lot doesn't fit these categories.

For example:

• Finding all the deals, at the moment I'm lucky if I get a sale or a good financial deal, but it's not something that I have the energy to wholeheartedly spend time on finding.
• Staying on top of what's going on in both Japan and Australia (though I've been able to drop into see headlines about the dramas in Australian politics today, I'm not particularly interested in finding out much more because I don't have the mental energy).

Probably lots is falling by the wayside. I know that there are people I'm not going to be able to see. We've already had to painfully express this to some who don't live in south-east Queensland. Next weekend is a complex one that I'll explain in another post, but it involves a fair bit of interstate travel and we will scoot past people who we would love to see...but won't.

Another way to look at it is the Spoon Theory that I wrote about several years ago here. At the moment, due to a number of factors, I simply don't have as many spoons as I usually have.

I'm fine juggling lots of things. It's actually my preferred way to operate, otherwise I have a tendency to get bored. But I'm juggling a bit more diversely than usual just now. Here's an idea of what's going on in my weeks:

• preparing for various public speaking opportunities (both the close ones, i.e. in two days, and further away)
• sorting out practical details of such events, such as transport, food, where all the family members will be etc. This includes emails to and from contacts at the various churches/groups
• actually doing the events
• taking care of my family: the usual physical stuff of driving to and from school, groceries, cooking, cleaning (though minimal that it may be), washing, and medical appointments (another blog post, really). The usual psychological aspects of parenting teens. And some less usual psychological aspects of parenting that I've written here about as well as some things I can't tell you on this public platform.
• taking care of myself: including exercise, medical appointments, time with friends, and squeezing in rest time
• Japanese study (yes, I'm still studying)
• editing work from Japan: managing the Japan Harvest magazine and editing for the OMF Japan blog.

Does that cover it all? Mostly. Really, at the moment I'm fighting the urge to curl up on the bed and read my book (or play an addictive game on my phone). But like most of you, there's other stuff that needs doing...it's just hard sometimes to know when to draw the line.

People do wonder what we do when we're on home assignment. It's hard to say what fills up our days. At times I feel like we work part-time. We aren't being paid by the hour and have no idea how many hours per week we work. I have no idea, sometimes, what to call "work" and what to call "rest". 

Yesterday I had an early medical appointment for a routine checkup. The technician asked what I was going to be doing the rest of the day and I was at a bit of a loss for words (seems to be happening a lot recently). I said I had a couple of other medical appointments (which was true), and she countered with, "So, a day off work." I just agreed with her, though for a missionary, getting medical stuff done while on home assignment has a tinge of "work" to it, because without ticking those boxes we cannot go back to our work overseas. So it is work, or is it not work?

I did spend time wandering around a shopping centre in-between appointments yesterday, so I guess that was time-off. Some of it was "work" (e.g. Besides the medical appointments, I sat in a coffee shop and did Japanese study, as well as brainstormed with David and someone else via Messenger about a speaking opportunity next week). So our work looks very different to most of our peers.

But I think I've wandered off topic here. Good thing I don't have an editor looking over my shoulder. 

Focus. During transition (and I think we will be in transition this whole year and a few months into next year) our focus needs to be quite narrow, which means that we pretty much march to a different drum to most of those around us. On the edge of ordinary . . . as usual.