Becoming obsolete

The other day I stumbled upon this blog post I wrote in 2011. It's about how a big goal in parenting (or my parenting) is to make yourself obsolete (at least in most things). Or, another way to say it: raising young people who become independent adults.

I'm surprised to find six years later that what I was longing for back then is actually coming true. I'm becoming obsolete!

Those days when we needed to watch over them so closely have
faded into the past. This boy is now 12 ½ and took himself to a
restaurant with a friend the other day!

I realised the other day that most days I do no household tasks in the mornings before school/work. This is how most school mornings run in our house:

6am  David and I wake up to read the Bible and pray together (in bed), David puts the washing on

6.50  David leaves me to finish up our prayer list while he makes lunches and prepares breakfast

7.20  Breakfast (all are expected to be present if possible)

Between the end of breakfast and 8.30 these things happen (without any prompting or supervision from me):

• everyone puts their own plates etc. on the sink
• table is cleared and dishes washed by one boy (same boy every weekday morning)
• washing is hung up outside by another boy
• everyone does their own personal preparation for school/work including hygiene issues without any reminders or helps (sometimes I'm needed, but very rarely)
• David and the boys leave for school (walking as we live so close to school)

I don't lift a finger, generally (today I put bread in the breadmaker, wrote shopping lists, and put washing on, but that is unusual). 

To my 2011 self, a morning like that would have seemed fantastical! But it's true. Most mornings I have time, not only to do my own self-care, but I read my Bible (using a reading-through-the-Bible-in-one-year plan) and check FB. The main thing I'm asked at this time is "Is it going to rain?" I.e. should I take an umbrella or put the washing inside or out.

So I'm celebrating. I'm no longer micromanaging my boys in the mornings, they're making steps towards being independent adults. In fact they're both doing a good job of staying on top of school work too, so I'm very happy. The main thing they still need telling to do is take a shower...but it's slowly getting better.

This afternoon/evening I'm taking time off parenting/household management. I'm going to support the high school wrestling team competing at a rival school. Our eldest son is in charge of dinner, his brothers have been asked to help out with table setting and washing up. So we'll see how it all goes. I'm hoping there won't be too much damage control needed when we get back after 9pm. But to my 2011 self, that would have been an absurd notion.

But for those who are still in the trenches of micromanagement. Do not despair. They do get there!