Fighting toxic comparison

Here's a good post, it caught my attention because it began in the context of envying another missionary's language ability. I'm tempted to say, "I've been there", with regards to envy but that is past tense and not a complete truth. This is a constant battle: not to envy other people for the way God made them and resent the way He made me.

On our recent holiday. We're a great team, this half isn't
anywhere near so good when we're apart.

Right now I'm fighting frustration at how badly I cope with my husband being away (he's in Hong Kong for six days). I have friends all around whose husbands are away for weeks at a time, yet I (and my kids) seem to struggle to cope. Possibly my friends are not telling me all the ugliness that happens at their homes at these times, but I can tell you there's been ugliness here this week. Particularly at meals. I don't think we've made it through one meal without one boy storming out of a meal or being sent out (and that is the same boy every meal). And that's not telling you how ugly I've been in the face of my boys' disobedience, defiance, selfishness etc.

I hate it that I hate these times, that I don't cope well. That's when envy can come in. I don't envy the fact that others have husbands who are away for long periods. I envy their apparent ability to cope.

This quote from the above mentioned blog post is what I've personally found the most helpful:

5. Pray for acceptance of who I am and how I am gifted, or not. So much of my envy comes from insecurity and inability to accept who I am, how I’m wired, my strengths and my weaknesses.  As I work through accepting how God made me, the circumstances where he has placed me, envy is squashed. I learn more about trust and faith.