Today my youngest son began full days at school. CAJ has a soft start for the younger students, giving Grade Ones four half days and Kindergartners a couple more. Finally I'm back to where I left off in early June!
But all this returning to school and starting a new school year has the effect of challenging me to reassess who I am. It is so easy to fall into the trap of thinking I am what I do.
If I am what I do, then I've just changed. Because at the beginning of last week I was a full-time Mum. Now I'm a part-time Mum and part-time something else.
It is the 'something else' that sometimes bothers me. My particular 'something else' is not easily defined. It consists of many things like a soup. That soup's flavour changes from week to week, depending on various factors. If I were to define myself according to what I do then I would be very confused.
It is the 'something else' that sometimes bothers me. My particular 'something else' is not easily defined. It consists of many things like a soup. That soup's flavour changes from week to week, depending on various factors. If I were to define myself according to what I do then I would be very confused.
Today I've been struggling with a headache. I'm not sure why, could be the heat and humidity, could be my lowish blood pressure. Could be fatigue. As a result, however, I've not done much this afternoon. I find it tempting to think it's been a waste of a day. But just because today's soup has a bit more relaxation in it and a lot less "work" doesn't mean I'm less valuable.
This is a mental struggle many have, I'm sure. When you set your personal value in your work, in your title, in your money, in what you own, in your relationships – then you are setting yourself up for a crash because these things are not guaranteed. The only way I can view myself with any security is as a princess. A daughter of the King. The King of Kings. John 1:12-12 "Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God."
I hope I'm making sense because my foggy brain isn't outputting words all that well this afternoon. Tell me, do you have these kinds of struggles?
Yes...regularly. And I'm struggling a bit now because what I do is about to change...again...quite dramatically and not in a way that I planned it to (control freak that I am!). There will be lots less of the sort of "doing" that I find challenging and enjoyable, and a whole lot of new things to do that past experience tells me may not be all that pleasant. So thanks for sharing that verse, it's a good reminder :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Wendy. Yes, I've had my struggles with this as well. Like you, I have learned that my real value is not in what I do (althought that has value), or in what I have been in the past, but in who I am in Christ. Not always easy to remember, especially on those days that I'd rather forget about, but as you say, the only thing which is guaranteed and unchanging. God's child, chosen by Him, loved by Him, accepted by Him.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your affirmation of common struggles ladies. I found another great verse this morning, or should I say the verse found me?
ReplyDeleteZephaniah 3:17 "The Lord your God is with you...He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."
Wow, it is hard to believe, but it is true!