Some things I learnt from our visitors

When you live closely with other people you learn a lot about yourself and others.

In the last couple of weeks I've learned these things about us. (This is not meant as a criticism of our guests, it is just recognising that we are different to other people. That each family has their own style.)

• We live a pretty frugal life. Frugal in what we spend, eat and even how we spend our time (like watching TV, playing electronic games).
• The frugality extends to how we parent and what we allow our kids to do.
• Because we are frugal with our money we usually say no when a child asks for a treat. And so our children have learned generally not to ask. Only our eldest has an allowance, so we don't have many financial discussions with them. 
• Parenting three boys with an age spread of six years is quite different to parenting a "pigeon pair" separated only by two years.
• Our lives are fairly regulated. This is actually a comment that our visitors made about our family. This is a result of a number of factors: including children who dislike change and prefer routine; parents who are that way inclined to start with; the more children in a family the most potential for chaos reigns; and the next point contributes to this as well.
• We don't tolerate much whinging (whining) or debate. Our parenting isn't very collaborative (with the boys), as in we don't ask the boys opinions and discuss important decisions with them on an equal footing. Our older boys don't cope very well with lots of discussion, so if we are having a discussion we don't present many options and very often just tell them the decision.
• We are pretty strict about eating between meals.
• I'm less of a chatterbox than I was as a child. Is this because I have boys? On one occasion I sat with our visitors' daughter and did a jigsaw while waiting for dinner (someone else was serving it out). She prattled on and on about many things. I was tired and hungry and didn't say anything at all. Eventually she got a little exasperated and said, "Well, what are we going to talk about then?" I had no desire to talk at all...conditioned by living with guys?
• I have less tolerance for shopping than some women. I can shop, but I don't see it as a pastime and soon grow tired of it. 
• We try hard not to act like tourists most of the time. We've been trained to speak Japanese to Japanese. It was strange to see foreigners with little Japanese try to get along.
• Our diet is pretty healthy.
• Whether I believe it or not, I am fairly orderly and a planner.
• We've become more sensitive to others than Australians often are (not to say that our visitors were insensitive, just less aware than we are of what bothers Japanese). That is how Japanese manage in such a squishy society. They are very aware of the people around them and ready to react quickly if their behaviour is infringing on others or offending them.
• We are fairly fit as a family. Japanese life naturally incorporates more exercise: bikes, walking and trains (walking to trains and climbing the stairs in stations) are much more part of life for most Tokyoites than cars are.

Phew, that turned into a large list. There are probably other things too, but I think this is enough for one day. It is easy to see, when you write it down like that, that apart from the fact that we were very busy, blending two families with different styles in itself was exhausting!