Gritty eyes and cringing soul

Gritty eyes. That's what I have today. No, I haven't been crying, nor am I overly tired despite the middle of the night earthquake last night. It is dry here, hasn't rained much recently. And today is windy, many bikes down the street were falling over through the day. No one bothers to pick them up because they'll just fall again. We have a couple of unplanted fields nearby (nearly wrote paddocks, but they're too small for that I think) and the top soil is flying in my face every time I go out. I really don't like wind, it is like scraping fingernails on the blackboard of my soul.

I guess I shouldn't be thinking it is too unreasonable to be out of sorts today. After all I've had a shocking start to the year; floods back "home", emotional and relational stresses sent my stress levels soaring in January and February and of course the "Higashi Nihon Dai-Shinsai" (Great Eastern Japan Disaster - the official name the March 11 events). Obviously we haven't recovered totally from the earthquake either. Last night's wobbly at 11.30 was enough to get us out of bed. Nothing fell down and two out of three boys didn't wake, but memories are easily stirred. Our first thought after it was over was - where was the epicentre? How big was it? My usually calm husband had to walk around for a bit before he could come back to bed.

Since then we've heard that it was indeed close to the March 11 epicentre and that places closer to there shook a whole lot worse than we did. Thankfully there was no tsunami wave of any significance. I cannot imagine what it felt like to those who've lost loved ones, homes and everything they knew. Apparently people were evacuating to the hills almost before they dressed. Fear is close to the surface. We were just starting to relax a little too.

I wonder, how do I maintain a sensible alertness without exhausting myself? Not sure. I did go to the shop and made sure I had a slightly more than usual stocked pantry. 

Well the weekend is about to explode onto me - meaning boys coming home from school. Once more I venture out into the gritty windy day and try to keep my soul under wraps, preserving it for whatever battles lie ahead.