Learning more about Japanese women #1

Since we came back to Japan I've had limited access to books because the school is on summer break. We did get one chance to get books out, the day after we arrived. One of the books I grabbed as we raced around the shelves has proven to be thought provoking and I want to share some of the things I've learned.

"The Japanese Woman. Traditional Image and Changing Reality." by Sumiko Iwao.

The book doesn't have an outsider-looking-in view to it. It is written by a Japanese lady who's had a lot of experience both inside and outside of Japan. Neither does it have a translated-from-Japanese feel to it. It was published in 1993 and I was a little suspicious it might be a bit out of date. However I think my fears are unfounded, Japanese society hasn't changed as fast as the author suspected it would.

Writing book reviews are difficult and I don't really want to, except that after a conversation I had with an American new to Japan I realised that I've actually learned a lot and had much I already had imbibed about Japan confirmed. So here are a few main points. Actually there were too many, so I'll make this a short series of four posts over a couple of weeks.

Marriage and the family

• Japanese women are traditionally known outside Japan to be largely housewives, with their husbands working long hours. This is no longer a true picture of younger Japanese women. Men, maybe, still tend to be bound by companies who ask them to work ridiculously long hours (not just my opinion, but the opinion of the author). 
• The traditional picture is what Japan was like in the 60s and 70s when the economy was riding high and women were not required to work in primary industries. In the mid 70s as affluence grew, women began to ask themselves, "What do I want out of life?" From then on women's participation in the workforce has been increasing.
• Women here traditionally hold the purse strings. In the past (and maybe the present?) they've given their husbands spending money. So they hold tremendous power in the household. They also do pretty much everything that holds the household together, except provide the money to support the household.
• Women have had considerable freedom. With their husbands earning the wage that supports the household and being away most of the time (for example 6am to 9 or 10 pm hasn't been unusual), their wives have the freedom to do what they want with their time. Particularly once labour-saving devices like washing machines and fridges were commonplace. Also clothing becoming relatively cheap to buy rather than make.
• With their freedom they've chosen to do many pleasurable activities, like join clubs, volunteer work, follow their interests.
• Women have been increasingly working, but more often part-time. They still by-and-large take time off during their children's pre-school years. The money they've earned has tended to be for extras, as opposed to essentials for the household.
• There appears to be a vast gap between the sexes. This may be closing a little, but for the most part men don't understand women and don't make much attempt to find out. Women prefer to hang out with their girlfriends. 
• Marriage has been a pragmatic situation. It's provided necessary support for the man (who has had to work such long hours that he needs help to live) as well as met the support needs of elderly parents.
• The author wonders how this is going to change as women decide that they don't want this and choose instead to be single or wait for a man who'll treat them like a friend.
• Verbal communication between husband and wife can be minimal. Compliments and expressions of fondness tend to be backhanded and indirect.