Seeking green spaces

This week I've found myself drawn to green spaces, perhaps more than usual. I've been struggling with head and neck muscle tension and it's cousin, headaches, and it’s often not been easy to do the work I’ve had to do. I’m pretty sure that I’m clenching my jaw during my sleep, and possibly my hands too. I’m also pretty sure that it is related to stress. My life is really quite good, but it’s been a bit of a rough year so far, and my body, typically, is showing signs of that.

We’re still under a state of emergency here. On Friday it was extended another three weeks. Nothing new here, we’ve been doing this for most of this year (barring three weeks, during which we managed to go camping). So, because I work from home (or, as I saw someone write recently—I live at work) I’m mostly only going out for essentials: groceries, medical, and exercise. 

This week I also walked to my favourite cafe and bought a coffee to go and sat in a park on the way home to savour it. I just sat, and thought about life. Our middle son graduates from high school next week. It’s been a long and, at times, arduous journey. It was interesting to sit and watch mothers with little ones in the park, thinking back over the years that I’ve taken my own boys to the park, and how far we’ve come.

It was one of those in-between-weeks when I have less urgent things to do. On weeks like that I tend to keep a close eye on the weather forecast, looking out for a few hours I can slip a ride in to the park six kilometres south of us. I nabbed that time on Wednesday afternoon. Taking an eBook, I hung out in the park for a couple of hours, luxuriating in being outside when it was neither hot nor cold.

Thursday was wet and miserable, a lovely day to stay inside and work. But on Friday, another beautiful day, I did my usual grocery-ride after lunch and decided, on a whim, to buy an ice cream and eat it in a small riverside park on my way home.

Three times in four days I sat in parks. No particular agenda. I didn’t read my Bible or do meditation or reflection. I didn’t write, or create poetry. I just sat and enjoyed life.

On Friday (over lunch), I also read the last few chapters of Ecclesiastes. The main conclusion of that book is that you don’t know how many days you have before God will judge you, but that you should enjoy the ones that you do.

Some of the phrases seem especially to ring true to my ears:

“Light is sweet, and it pleases the eyes to see the sun. However many years a man may live, let him enjoy them all. But let him remember the days of darkness, for they will be many. Everything to come is meaningless” (11:7-8)

And “Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come . . . When the doors to the street are closed, and the sound of grinding fades...when men are afraid of . . . dangers in the streets” (12:1, 4, 5).

Doesn’t the end of that last bit sound like this pandemic: closed doors, “grinding” a.k.a. usual work ceases, and dangers in the streets!

So, I was glad to be able to enjoy the “sweet light” and the sun this week. To remember my Creator by sitting quietly. To appreciate the life he’s given me, even though, like all lives, it’s got troubles.

Below are some of the scenes from my sojourns in parks this week.

This is the path between the river and my “Friday” park. We 
often walk this in the evening. These are gorgeous, shady
Cherry blossoms: yes, beautiful even when they aren’t pink.

This is one of the many pathways that cross-cross
Tokyo. I cross it to ride to “the big park”, but
took a few minutes to venture down it on Wednesday.

 

Me, in the “big park” soaking up the green.

A lady bug enjoying this flower.

A lily I found along the way to the park.

This is the park between my house and the train 
station. A convenient place to stop with a coffee.

Come for relief

We're in the last month of the school year here. That's something I'm still getting used to (i.e. it happening in May), even though David's been working at an American-style international school for most of the last 16 years now, and we've had students there since our nearly-22 year-old son transferred there in Grade 3. But, even though May may still seem a little odd to be “the end of the year”, my body's telling me it's ready for a break. The weather is gradually heading into warmer weather, which also tells me that summer holidays are on the horizon (though today I'm wearing tracksuit pants, a singlet, and jumper/sweater).

One of my geraniums I love to look at while
I’m cleaning my teeth!

We’re looking forward to July, when we have our annual holiday, but there’s a little way to go until we get there.

So this passage seems fitting for now (continuing my "Come" series):

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly" (Matt. 11:28-30 The Message).

Have you read this version of this passage? It definitely gives a different slant on it. Yes, I'm tired and worn out. I'm not sure that I'm "burned out on religion", but the invitation to come is very attractive.

Here's the ESV version:

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

The idea of taking a yoke upon you seems strange in this version, but I think that this would have probably made more sense to Jesus' first audience. I've heard it explained as being like Jesus inviting us to take his hand, that he will walk with us each step of the way. Bound together with a yoke, cattle can't go anywhere separately, they are bound together, and share the burden of work. Maybe even stronger than taking Jesus' hand, what about imagining his arm going around your shoulder and him walking hip-to-hip with you?

Pair this image with the words that Peter wrote:

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you (1 Peter 5:7 NIV).

I love this image and often use it when I'm praying with others: asking that God would help us cast our burdens on his shoulders and that he would free us from the heavy weights that we brought to the meeting. 

In the first passage, Jesus says, learn from me, walk with me. One of the Biblical images that brought Jesus even more into focus for me as a young teenager was that of shepherd. I'd grown up at church, I knew a lot about the Bible, but I couldn't remember having that metaphor shown to me so strongly until it was the theme of a small summer camp I went to. 

BibleGateway says “shepherd” is used 118 times in the NIV. Of course not all those instances are using the metaphor for God, but there's a lot, if you go looking. Psalm 23 is probably the most famous, but also Isaiah 40:11, Zechariah 9:16, and of course the John 10:11 where Jesus says, "I am the good shepherd." You don't get much clearer than that.''

The book this blog series was inspirted by, Come for Closer" by Jane Rubietta, asks in the chapter devoted to this Matthew 11 passage: what are your burdens? 

"It is other people's expectations? Your own superhuman job description for yourself? Perfection? . . . Maybe your burden is the need to have a constant output of service and doings, always involved, running things, helping out, your finger in every pie . . . Though we may be unaware of our motives, winning others' approval and knowing they like us or need us keeps us working, keeps us doing, keeps us stretched far beyond our normal capacity." p. 81, 82.

She suggests other burdens too: fear, worry, regret, loss, anger, unforgiveness, bitterness.

What's been my burdens recently? I think probably fear and worry. Loss, is definitely in the mix. I think I do have a tendency to look to other's approval too, in some areas.

I don't think I'm stretched beyond my normal capacity in general, but at times in the last months my "normal capacity" has been reduced by various events. Those circumstances have certainly exhausted me. But let's not lose sight of the fact that we're human, we get tired, and there's nothing wrong with that. Taking rest is a natural part of life, indeed something that God has built into us and our world. 

But we make things worse when we don't trust God to carry our burdens. I think that's a constant challenge for me, probably for most Christians. We get so full of our own abilities that we think we can handle it all, and we also forget how trustworthy God is, so we take up the burden of worry about things and trying to solve them ourselves, rather than entrusting them to him.

I have been pondering this for a bit and wrote most of it yesterday. Today’s been full of meetings and out-of-office errands. But in two separate interactions the 1 Peter verse I mentioned above came up. It’s worth me sitting up and taking notice of. So as we head into a weekend, will you join me in “casting your anxiety on him who cares for you”? Let’s be open to receiving all God has for us: including a peace that surpasses all human understanding.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7 ESV)

 

 

Walking alongside older teens and young adult children

We're walking through that part of parenthood that is not often talked about among parents: parenting older teens and young adults. Well people do talk about it, but not deeply. We talk about what they're doing: "My son is in second year uni." or "He's applied to study XYZ" or "She's doing an apprenticeship." or "She's taking a gap year." But not much deeper than that. And generally the parents who have young adults who are struggling, don't talk about it at all (except to those very close to them). 

I have to say it's very challenging to watch our boys as they make their way through this period. A very different stage of parenting indeed.

I'm not saying that any of this is easy! And some
days it helps to wear this t-shirt a close friend
 gave me: "It is well with my soul."

I was greatly encouraged by a book recently about genius called Spark: How Genius Ignites, From Child Prodigies to late Bloomers. I didn't pick it up with the intention of seeking encouragement, but it was much more grounded than you might expect. It looked at the stories of thirteen people who have had significant success in their field: including art, literature, science, and business. But more than that, it looked at the combination of factors that helped these people find their niche and thrive (and yes, luck was one). One interesting feature was that the author specifically sought out people who began to thrive at different ages, from child prodigies to late bloomers.

One of those featured was Eleanor Roosevelt. The author quotes her as saying:

We are constantly advancing, like explorers, into the unknown, which makes life an adventure all the way. How interminable and dull that journey would be if it were on a straight road over a flat plain, if we could see ahead the whole distance, without surprises, without the salt of the unexpected, without challenge. I wish with all my heart that every child could be so imbued with a sense of the adventure of life that each change, each readjustment, each surprise—good or bad—that came along would be welcomed as a part of the whole enthralling experience.

Eleanor had an extraordinary career as a social activist, advocate, and diplomat. But she really didn't start to thrive until her middle age. I was most encouraged by the stories of those who took some time to find their way—it gives me hope about my own boys. You invest so much energy into them, you really want them to thrive as they move into adulthood.

So where does this leave me, as I walk alongside my young men (close-by and at a distance)? It gives me hope. Hope that they will one day find their place in the world, that they will find they are able to live meaningful lives that contribute to those around them, however that looks.

In the meantime I think I need to walk gently, not pushing and shoving, or meddling unduly in their affairs. I need to keep the communication lines open, which often means not talking about certain things. I need to hold back on giving unwanted advice, but be ready to give advice if asked. I need to allow them the freedom to make bigger mistakes than I might have when they were younger. I need to continue to do my best to make decisions that are moving them towards independence, whatever that looks like for each child. And believe me, it looks very different for each of my three!

We're missing our eldest son in Australia. It's been nearly two years since I've been able to hug him or give him a back rub (he planned to visit us last Christmas, but the pandemic has made travel in and out of Australia difficult and very expensive).

One thing we're really enjoying at the moment is a weekly family video call with him. Sometimes that just involves him, David, and me; but more often than not one or both of his brothers also join in. It's been a big step forward in keeping communication lines open with our guys. This month we've discovered a website that allows us to play boardgames. So far we've played games that I know, so I've been able to join in. It's a brilliant way to connect with our sons. I've learned that while most women are happy to sit down and just talk, men usually aren't wired that way. So, being able to do something like a board game together really helps. 

If you're wondering, it's boardgamearena.com that we've been using. To initiate games with people you know, you need to pay a small subscription fee.

Thankful for my job

Have I told you recently that I love my job? I love the variety and challenge. I love the flexibility and the mixture of working with people as well as on my own. I also love that I've continued to grow in this skill that I've invested myself in learning—editing. And that the job offers endless challenge to continue to grow.

Editing, like most professions, requires a certain boldness in your own skills, knowledge, and opinions, even more so if you start out in it with little official training. But I've grown in confidence over the years and now, more than 10 years after I started in earnest in the editing business, I find that I'm relishing working in an area that I feel pretty comfortable in. I never got that far in my Occupational Therapy career. I moved onto motherhood and missionary work less than four years after starting work as an OT (and was employed in multiple jobs), so I never really gained the confidence that comes with experience. I can't say that I've gotten to that level of experience with many other things, so this is something to enjoy and be thankful for.

All that being said, I still have much to learn about editing, and indeed, if I didn't, I think I'd become bored and move onto something else! I'm currently enjoying dipping my toes in the world of editing a fiction novel in my spare time.

Mind you my current job involves a lot more than just editing words. I manage a magazine production team, which means managing schedules and the space in the actual magazine. I work with editors, fact checkers, a proofreader, and designer. I also work with a team producing social media content for our mission, which includes working with constantly changing technology, as well as visual and auditory content. I work with writers and people who don't consider themselves writers, but write nonetheless. My job involves a fair bit of writing too: from emails, to social media content and magazine articles. I'm also involved in mentoring editors as they learn and grow, and helping writers learn about improving their writing. 

One cool thing about editing is that you're constantly learning, not just because you intentionally go out to do that, but the content you edit teaches you as you go, and often you have to do research to do a good job at editing. For example, in recent weeks I've learned about Doraemon and NiziU, an anime character and recent Japanese pop group. I've watched videos about warfare in Afghanistan (for the novel I'm editing) and listened to a podcast about how Japan's exported its culture to the rest of the world. I had to look up the plurality principle and check references for the average size of a Japanese church. I love it how I get stretched by the different themes that we work with both in the magazine and in social media.

I this this is a great quote about the editing profession: (from the end of a book about magazine editing)

Editors will forever be burdened with the public perception that they are grammar nerds, cocktail-schmoozing glitterati, or tough-nosed autocrats.

Such is life.

But as you now know, editing is more than these things—and even more than these things put together.

Editors work with ideas, grappling with concepts that must prove themselves to be fascinating, enlightening, valuable, or necessary—or risk dismissal as the editor plows on in search of better ones.

Editors work with words, making them inform, making them amuse, making them sing.

But most of all, editors work with people. We work with readers, first and foremost. We work with writers a lot. We work with designers, publishers, circulations managers, and artists. We work with sources: presidents, janitors, movie stars, prostitutes, CEOs, victims, teachers, and everyone else we can find who will tell us great stories and make us feel something.

We spend too much time in the office, but we get out when we can: to parties, to conferences, to gatherings of people who might give us the next great story to tell...

Editing allows you to see things that other people don't get to see. But mainly editing allows you to think. You're paid to think and create and work with teams to build something new each month.

It's a great job. 

From The Layers of Magazine Editing, Michael Robert Evans, pp. 326-327. 

Personally things have been rough in recent months, for various reasons I can't go into here. I did start this week with a pretty heavy heart (but feel better today). But I have to say that it really helps that both David and I have jobs that we enjoy and that are meaningful. I am very thankful! 

Of course I'm also thankful that I can walk through each day remembering my rock, the unshakeable one:

He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. (Psalm 62:6 ESV)